21 Answers – A Grand Prix: Massachusetts Report

Yesterday, Tim asked 21 Questions regarding Grand Prix: Massachusetts. Actually, he asked twenty, but what’s one question between friends? You can read the questions above. Today, in the form of a tournament report, he answers each and every question posed. Innovative in style and Old School in execution, this article is packed with Aten’s brand of in-jokes, stories, and irreverence. Enjoy!

Today, I will repeat the questions from yesterday and discuss the answers. Don’t be alarmed

by the size of the scroll bar; much of it is because of the gratuitous props / slops section.

1. Whom did I see in concert in Canada the Thursday before the Grand Prix?
A. Thursday
B. Taking Back Sunday
D. The Used

TBS is currently one of my favorite bands, and the performance was pretty awesome. Despite dropping

the microphone during one of his flourishes, singer Adam Lazzara put on a good show. His antics

included a rant in Foghorn Leghorn-esque stutter-talk about how bandmate Fred Mascherino was rather

ornery, adding lyrics from The Killers’ “When You Were Young” into TBS’s song

Divine Intervention,” and quoting Boyz II Men’s “End of the Road” at the

end of the concert.

2. Which of the following was NOT true of the concert?
A. Some 14-year-old girls asked us if we were old enough to buy them beer.
B. Rich Hoaen got knocked on his grumpy buttocks by a rogue mosher.
C. I threw up in my shoes.
D. The band neglected to play one of my favorite songs on their newest CD.

A: This actually happened on two separate occasions. Hoaen’s friend Scott and I were sitting

against the wall, waiting for Underoath’s performance to start (and hence, thankfully, end) and

some idiot children stumbled up and attempted to lay the groundwork for alcohol procurement. The first

two girls started by asking if we were security guards, and then they tried to determine our ages. They

guessed that I was only 17, but then again, it was pretty dark. Naturally, the way the venue was set up

prevented any underage consumption even if we were immoral / amoral enough to get them what they


B: Thankfully, he also picked Hoaen up right afterward. I was debating not including this, but

after he told several people about C, I realized I should have no qualms.

C: This didn’t happen at the concert. This happened at a bar the day before. Awkward /

embarrassing / etc.

D: Taking Back Sunday played 9 of the 11 songs on Louder Now. They naturally played

mediocre second single “Liar.” They played the even more banal opening track

“What’s It Feel Like to Be a Ghost” to rabid cheers. Yes, they played just about

everything but “Twenty Twenty Surgery.” You should download “Twenty Twenty

Surgery.” It’s pretty sweet.

(Side note: Hoaen claims “Liar” is superior to “Twenty Twenty Surgery.” In

the car on the way back from Olive Garden, I played both songs for an impartial jury without saying

which I liked better. Sam Stein – who usually listens to rap – and Ben Lundquist both said

“Liar” was better. Neon Cheon, however, liked “Surgery” better. Go f***ing


3. On the drive from Toronto to Massachusetts, what song did Hoaen make a point to skip over?
A. AFI "Synesthesia"
B. Fall Out Boy "This Ain’t a Scene, It’s an Arms Race"
C. Natalie Imbruglia "Torn"
D. Snow "Informer"

Synesthesia is currently my second-favorite song of all time (behind Hole’s

“Jennifer’s Body”), and it came on Hoaen’s iPod, not mine. Torn and Informer

were both allowed to stick. I really don’t begrudge Hoaen for his actions. “This

Ain’t a Scene” is catchy in parts, but the singer’s voice gets annoying, and Pete

Wentz has to be the worst lyricist of all time. He makes the Backstreet Boys look like Dylan. What does

“This ain’t a scene, it’s an (expletive deleted) arms race!” even mean?

4. In what thriving metropolis was Grand Prix: Massachusetts held?
A. Boston
B. Worcester (pronounced "Woostah")
C. Springfield
D. "Fitchburg"

On our way to the tourney, Hoaen told me that his European informants told him that this

site was even more embarrassing than Toms River, New Jersey. I figured that kind of talk was just

foreigners being foreigners (smug, snooty, cosmopolitan, etc.), but apparently…

Mapquest’s directions had us drive some 30 minutes off the nearest major highway – and

through a really b*tchin’ National Forest – to arrive in scenic Fitchburg. The Best Western was

located near a different, albeit naturally considerably more backwoods, highway, and one needed to get

on said highway in order to find any restaurants or even a gas station. As I told Paul Cheon, Fitchburg

makes my hometown of Vermilion, Ohio look like New York City. It’s a little awkward to use the

“makes X look like Y” comparison twice in two entries, but certainly not much more awkward

than using “awkward” in every paragraph. Awkward.

5. Why did Sam Stein change his order at the concession stand on Friday evening?
A. They ran out of everything but chicken strips.
B. He realized he only had $1.50 in his pocket.
C. Paul Cheon, a self-proclaimed "food court connoisseur," gave the nachos rather high

D. He wanted to hear the stand worker’s colloquialism for "slice of pepperoni pizza"


When Neon ordered, he said, “Can I have two slices of pepperoni pizza, please?” Without

missing a beat, the cashier said, “Two ‘ronies? Okay, that’ll be five dollars.”

Sam was going to order cheese pizza, but he found the term “roni” so amusing – and

rightfully so, if you ask me – that he decided to “upgrade” to get her to say it again.

Naturally, she didn’t say it when Sam ordered. The rest of these choices are all CMEUs.

6. How many byes did Ben Lundquist and I have?
A. 0
B. 1
C. 2
D. 3

Nothing interesting here. You need 5 levels to qualify for the PT but 6 to get the two byes.

I’m only level 2 because I lacked the necessary skills* to stay on the train, so we only got one


7. How much 2HG had I played before playing in the Grand Prix?
A. none
B. one game
C. a GP trial and two practice drafts
D. literally DI

I didn’t really have any desire to play the format before my excursion to Canada, and once I

was in the Glorious North, Hoaen and I kept finding excuses to avoid leaving the apartment. Ben and I

tried to get a practice draft in the night before the GP, but I could only rustle up two other drafters

of the necessary six, and one of those two was Evan Dean, so I just went to bed instead. My sole game

of 2HG came after deckbuilding; Ben and I scrimmaged against Billy Moreno and Eugene Levin, who we

would end up playing in round 3. Whether my results-to-practice ratio is more a testament to the

random, bush-league nature of the format or to my uncanny spell-flinging prowess is for the

philosophers to decide.

8. Before the tournament, who did I predict would win?
A. Hoaen / Tsumura
B. Sittner / Sittner
C. O’Mahoney-Schwartz / Wang
D. me obv

Alex “John” Sittner rose from complete obscurity to level 3 pro in the span of several

months. I played him three times at Nationals (going 1-2 against him), and I still have no

idea how good he actually is. Because he’s so unassuming and seemingly random, he’s my

default prediction to win anything he plays in.

(Side note: Both Sittners are excruciatingly nice people. Not only did I predict they would win, I

was kinda hoping they would.)

9. Which of the following happened in our match against the Ruel brothers?
A. Both teams had a Pyrohemia in play.
B. I insisted that a judge shuffle my deck rather than Olivier.
C. There was a 15-minute judge ruling.
D. Ben Lundquist lost all faith in me as a teammate.

The only other option that was close to true is A. We made Antoine discard his Pyrohemia to

Psychotic Episode, but Antoine opted not to make me discard mine with his Episode; he simply waited for

Olivier to kill it with Kestrel the turn after I played it.

The judge ruling was over the following situation. The Ruels attacked with, among other creatures,

a Clockwork Hydra and a Looter il-Kor. Antoine targeted Ben’s Blightspeaker with the

Hydra’s ability; Ben responded with a Kor Dirge targeting the Blightspeaker and the Looter, and

he was prepared to choose Clockwork Hydra as the damage source. Olivier responded to that with

a Stonewood Invocation on the Looter.

Since Kor Dirge has two targets, it wouldn’t be countered on resolution because one of the

targets became illegal. I assumed correctly that the Kor Dirge would still resolve, but that it would

effectively do nothing. Ben and I asked the Ruels if this was the case, and they agreed that it was.

When Ben asked if Antoine was sure, Antoine admitted that he wasn’t, in fact, 100% positive. Ben

and Antoine basically concurred that the best course of action was to call a judge to ascertain this,

because after all, what could it hurt? We were about to find out.

One of the best judges ever (John Carter, if memory serves), saw me raise my hand and was on his

way over, but a different judge barely beat him to the table. I explained the entire situation at a

medium pace**, upon which time the judge instantly asked me to start over. I sighed heavily and put my

head down on the table, which, to be fair, was not particularly adult of me. I soon realized that the

judge in question was a trainee, and several times during the process he got flustered and tried to

step down in order to let someone more experienced take care of things. He was summarily denied.

After five minutes of us explaining and the judge trying to sort through the information – and I

don’t remember if he ever reached a decision – we appealed, and the hapless rookie left to confer

with Sheldon Menery. They were gone for some seven more minutes, and then we had to explain the

situation to Sheldon. At first, he told us that the Dirge was simply countered on resolution because

its target was no longer legal; he didn’t realize that the spell had two targets. Finally, the

situation was sorted out, and play resumed. The moral of this story? Never call a judge.

Well, that’s not actually the moral, but it would kind of be the one that a player relatively

new to the DCI would have gleaned if he had been in my position. I sympathize with the tenderfoot and

all, and I understand why they want to give new judges a trial by fire, but there has to be a better


10. In the last round of Day 1, what card did Matt Wang play on the first extra turn that converted

a draw into a loss for my team?
A. Magus of the Jar
B. Tromp the Domains
C. Squall Line
D. Nether Traitor

Thanks to a turn 1 Essence Warden on the other side of the board and Ben’s mana shortage, OMS

and Wang were in a dominating position all game. I was forced to repeatedly block their Aven

Riftwatcher with Aether Membrane, and their life total peaked somewhere just south of 70. However, they

overextended into Ben’s Damnation, we Enslaved a blocker, and the game looked to be turning

around. A key Ana Battlemage then emptied my hand of Errant Ephemeron, Ixidron, and Walk the Aeons, and

the game looked relatively stable as we headed into extra innings. We were at a semi-precarious 15

life, while Team OMS was still above 30; a draw seemed likely unless they topdecked something saucy.

On the first extra turn, Wang played the Magus with four lands untapped and one card left in hand

which we knew to be Dismal Failure. This meant that my Rift Bolt was worthless. Ben and I did nothing

of relevance, and on the final turn of the match, OMS Rift Bolted our nug before Wang cracked the

Magus. Ben failed to draw Angel’s Grace (he hadn’t drawn it all day), and after a few

morphs, a Peregrine attack, and a flashed-back Conflagrate, a Grapeshot put us to -1.

(Side note: Our decks were pretty good. We got to finish our round six opponents off with Volcano

Hellion on Stuffy Doll for ten. In that game, we were ahead in life totals thanks to Urborg

Syphon-Mage, but combined with the aforementioned Angel’s Grace, Stuffy and the Hellion could

theoretically win any game on the spot regardless of ours and our opponents’ life totals.


11. Why did I refuse to sign someone’s Tim Aten cards at the end of day one?
A. They were J. Evan Dean’s, and he was just being a moron.
B. I only sign in silver ink, and he had a regular old Sharpie.
C. I wanted to get to Olive Garden before it closed.
D. I was infuriated at the manner in which we had just lost.

I will admit I wasn’t particularly happy about how we had just lost, but I wasn’t angry

either. It was more “disappointment.” I didn’t really care much about winning or

losing beyond the concern of potentially letting my teammate down. Even with “only” seven

rounds, 2HG GPs are long-ass tourneys. It was somewhere around 9:30 when round 7 ended, I didn’t

know how late the world-renowned Fitchburg Olive Garden was open or how far away it was, and I wanted

to be sure I would be jamming breadsticks down my gullet-hole that evening. I told the fella I’d

sign them the next day, but he never bothered to find me again. Tragic, really, for both of us.

(Bonus 21st question that I’m not actually going to answer myself so you’ll just have

to figure it out or ask someone who knows: I claim that my card is the rarest of the bunch, and

there’s a good chance I’m right. Why is this?)

12. Which of the following cards was NOT in my first draft deck (G/W/b) on Sunday?
A. Aether Web
B. Molder
C. Healing Leaves
D. Mountain

Ben’s deck was awesome, but mine came up a little short. Molder is perfectly acceptable since

you have two opponents’ worth of decks in which to find a worthy target for it. In round 9, for

instance, I ended up killing Rich’s Weatherseed Totem in response to him activating it. Healing

Leaves is more “interesting,” but really, a trick is a trick. Theoretically, there would be

no shame in playing a nice Leaves over your 18th creature if you have no better non-creature options;

I’d actually recommend it. Creature glut was not an issue with my deck and hence not my reason

for including Leaves at the GP. Here, our pod had two high-caliber teams (Ruud / Quentin and Kenji /

Hoaen). When I’m playing in team drafts, especially against good players, I like to play

lesser-used tricks. Good opponents will take cards like Strength in Numbers and Thrill of the Hunt into

consideration when making attacks and such, but they might be less inclined to worry about the

rarely-played Leaves. As I mentioned, it’s not like Leaves is bad – many tricks are more or less

interchangeable – it just happens to be slightly weaker than many other options. The surprise value,

however, can push it up to par in certain situations.

That’s just my take on it. I could be a moron.

As for the mountain, I had a Strangling Soot, and even though my deck was rather “the

loose,” I could afford to dedicate a land slot to the sole purpose of flashing the Soot back.

Before we started playing, I showed John Pelcak the most embarrassing opening hand I could think of. It

was made up of something like Molder, Healing Leaves, Viscid Lemures, Plains, Mountain, Cloudchaser

Kestrel, and Utopia Vow. Sure enough, in the match against Ruud and Quentin, they Psychotic Episoded me

when my hand included Kestrel, Healing Leaves, I think Vow, and also Forest, Spike Tiller, and Citanul

Woodreaders. The top card? I probably shouldn’t have to spell it out at this point.

(Side note: Late in the game against Warmhouse / Martin, Quentin played Careful Consideration on

himself. I reflexively gave him the “okay.” A few seconds later Ben tapped me on the

shoulder with a look of horror on his face and showed me once again the Reiterate he had drawn on our

previous turn. Awkward to say the least… and yet somehow, that mistake may have won us the game.

Quentin’s Consideration didn’t get him anything interesting, but Ruud cast a Dead / Gone

that we were able to copy with tha buyback. Don’t you just love happy endings?)

13. What was unique about our match against Takuya Oosawa and Shouta Yasooka?
A. It was a feature match.
B. Ben got a headache seven turns in, so I basically had to finish the match by myself.
C. It was the only time I saw someone mulligan below 7 cards.
D. Ben and I finished the game at 30 life.

A: Yes, it was a feature match, but that’s by no means unique. We also had a feature round 13

against one Jeff Butz.

B: Ben got a headache in the Butz match, but he toughed it out like the real trouper he is.

C: The free mulligan rule is awesome. Between that and the fact that one member of the team that

goes first gets a draw step on the first turn, it’s pretty rare for a team to start with an ugly,

unplayable hand. Takuya stayed on 7, but Shota actually had to go all the way down to 5… on the

play… and he was the Head that didn’t get to draw. Naturally, they still made a game out of

it because Japanese lucky et cetera, but as the coverage indicated, there was much flag-waving and

ballyhoo upon the match’s conclusion.

D: Didn’t.

(Side note: Count the number of non-Americans in the top 4.)

14. In round 11, Steve OMS and Matt Wang defeated us again despite what early-game development?
A. We Stupored away OMS’s only Green source, and he didn’t draw another until turn 8.
B. They played an Essence Warden on turns 1 and 2; I played a turn 2 Kavu Predator.
C. I played a Smallpox on turns 2 and 3.
D. We had six cards suspended by the end of our third turn.

Okaysolike… in the last match Shota or Shouta or Shoouta or Rumpelstiltskin or whatever

triple-mulled (to 5) and still played a spell every turn – but that paled in comparison to the horrors

that awaited us in the ensuing round. Steve-O and Wang won the die roll, naturally, since they’re

so very lucky and I’m so very unlucky, and the world owes me / I go to church / it’s just

not fair / whatever. On their second turn, OMS played an Amrou Scout, while Wang had a Blightspeaker.

As I had a Smallpox in hand, I was simply elated. We 5-for-6ed them or whatever and shipped it on back.

On their third turn, I was a little dismayed to see them both play a land and another two-drop each –

this time, an Errant Doomsayers and a Rathi Trapper. The dismay quickly turned to – um…

may? I guess? – when I saw what my third draw step yielded: Smallpox Number Two***. We got ‘em

again without losing any of our own creatures, and then do you know what happened? Do you? Correct.

After Steve-O missed one land drop, both he and Wang drew the perfect combination of lands and spells

every single turn for the rest of the game. God bless ‘em. I guess when you think of a Smallpox

that kills two opposing creatures but none of your own as a mere 5-for-6 (Smallpox, 2 cards, 2 lands

versus 2 cards, 2 lands, 2 creatures), it’s not really that crippling.

15. What Pro Player Card did Olivier Ruel ask Kyle Sanchez to sign?
A. Olivier Ruel
B. Tim Aten
C. Jose Barbero
D. Alan Comer


Hot or Not?

In a word, roffle.

16. Ian Spaulding taught some “professionals” a new draft format. Who is the undisputed

master of that format, currently?
A. Rich Hoaen
B. Julien Nuijten
C. Ian Spaulding
D. Gabe Walls

This type of draft is possibly the best two-man format ever, but it can also be played as a regular

draft with more people or with teams. Each person gets three random boosters. The more random they are,

the more skill-testing and fun it is, so it’s best if you have as much variety as possible.

Don’t play with Unhinged, though****. That’s just stupid. Draft the cards as normal; this

can be done face-up after the first pick of each pack if you’re playing with just two people.

During “deck construction,” simply cut five cards from your deck, and you’re

ready to play. Monocolored cards can be played as either themselves or as basic lands of the

corresponding color; multicolored cards can become nonbasic lands that come into play tapped and tap

for one mana of any color in their casting costs (i.e. Psychatog would become a Salt Marsh); and

artifacts can be played as lands that tap for colorless. If I understood correctly, once you play

something as a land, it remains a land even if it switches zones, but I’m not certain if this is

the case. Other than that, it’s just regular Magic. If someone familiar with the format noticed

something I missed or knows what the format is called, please pipe up in the forums.

Gabe Walls took on many skillful comers (none of whom were Alan, hur hur hur) and emerged

undefeated. It took many challengers before he even lost a game.

17. Which Top 4 team did all three of the other teams want to play against and knock out?
A. Fabiano / Ziegler
B. Aten / Lundquist
C. Rubin / DiPalma
D. O’Mahoney-Schwartz / Wang

MattR wanted to knock me out because he hates me. The reasons for this hardly seem relevant, so

don’t bother asking me why. Gerard is good friends with MattR, so for that reason (and I think

more), he’s not a particularly big fan of mine either. OMS simply wanted to complete his hat


18. When I call Ruud Warmenhoven “Fred” (the American equivalent of Ruud), what does he

call me back?
A. Tito
B. Tommi
C. Kim
D. Napoleon

I’m pretty sure Ruud is convinced that Fred is somehow derogatory; it’s not. The whole

“Americanizing of foreign names” is just something Ravitz, Julien, and I cooked up at GP

Salt Lake City. Here are some newer examples:

Foreign Name – U.S. Name
Marcio Carvalho – Marshall Carver
Makahito Mihara – Max Harland
Paulo Vitor Damo da Rosa – Paul Rose
Guillaume Wafo-Tapa – Billy Waffles
Jan-Moritz Merkel – John Mortensen
Bernardo da Costa Cabral – Bernie Kosar
Shouta Yasooka – Rumpelstiltskin Sutherland

Ruud Warmenhoven just becomes “Fred Warmhouse.” (You may have thought Ruud translates

to “Rudy,” but you would have been incorrect.) That’s all there is to it – nothing

malicious, just sheer tomfoolery. And yet, whenever I say it, Ruud feels the need to compare me to

Napoleon Dynamite. I’m not going to claim that’s not an apt comparison – of every fictional

character I’ve heard of, I think the most accurate depiction of me would be a cross between

Napoleon Dynamite and Donnie Darko – but if there’s anyone who, for instance,

looks more like Napoleon Dynamite than I do, it’s Fred Warmhouse.



I mean c’mon.

19. Sunday night after the GP, what card name did Kenji Tsumura utter repeatedly in reference to

pretty much everything?
A. Pongify
B. Dandan
C. Snapback
D. Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker

Tragically, I did not get to witness this firsthand; I heard about it from Hoaen afterward. From my

understanding, in addition to just saying it “for val” as the kids say, he would substitute

it in for other words and cards. For example, if he was casting Sudden Death on a Sporesower Thallid,

he’d say “Pongify your Pongify” or somesuch.

20. Who insulted my luggage (just a laundry basket again, since I was too lazy to pack a suitcase)

on my way out of the hotel?
A. Raphael Levy
B. Quentin Martin
C. Sheldon Menery
D. a cleaning lady

Sheldon Menery is completely awesome. He’s a ridiculously good judge (obviously), and

he’s actually a really awesome person.

Did that description make you think of the part in Mean Girls where Janis is chewing out Cady for

turning into an actual Plastic after ditching Janis’s art show? Don’t act like you

don’t know what I’m talking about.

Oh and also, how pathetic am I? I’m turning into a real-life hobo. The hair, the laundry

basket, the intermittent shaving, the throwing up all over myself… it’s pretty

embarrassing. It may be time to turn over a new leaf.

And now, since this was more or less a tournament report, it’s time for the Praps and Slaps.

Kellen Abel
Joe Timidaiski
Brandon Adams
Katelyn Wentworth
Nicolai Adamski
Kevin Hulse
Patrick Albergo
Zac Rider
Paul Allison
Daniel Olmo
Jon Amirault
Charles Kong
Phil Anderson
Nathaniel Kelly
Ben Angel
Ben Morgan
Randolph Arends
Andy Jacks
Jamie Arruda
Jeremy Kelly
Marshall Arthurs
Clair Bigelow
Brandon Ashler
Patrick Scarpati
Zachary Austin
Kurt Lesko
Allan Autino
Joshua Whittemore
Brendan Banfield
Jeff Anand
Zach Barker
Jeremy Lesher
James Barnard
Casey Dupras
Pete Baron
Thomas Rennell
Dustin Beckemeyer
Zachary Hicks
Travis Beebe
Chris Bottcher
James Beeton
Robert Easterday
Lynn Berry
Neil Juliano
Robert Beverley
Brian Popp
Semion Bezrukov
Brad Taulbee
Dean Bilz
Dylan Bilz
Michael Boddy
Lorne Gregory
John Bonnet
Timothy Divelbliss
Adam Bourbeau
Peter Smith
Richard Boyes
Eric Reasoner
Matthew Boyle
Cordell Zabrose
Cory Braiterman
Rogelio Badillo
Todd Bransford
JT Kemper
JP Brichta
Vaughn Smart
Derek Bruneau
Nicholas Branstator
Nathaniel Buckley-Wright
Cheyne Rood
James Burlison
Jeff Kowalczyk
Richard Burns
Josh Makarenko
Analynn Bustamante
Debbie Cohen
Richard Butler
Richard O’Brien
Michael Butler
Jason Trott
Jeff Butz
Lance Loden
Christian Calcano
Julian Levin
Benjamin Caless
Chris Bayer
Devin Callahan
Michael DeCoste
Brandon Carlson
Jay Algarin
William Carrig
Blake Campbell
Richard Cautela
James Burnham
Chris Cavanaugh
Chris Bradley
Paolo Cesari
Timothy Posloski
Charles Cesari
Stephen Rice
Adam Chamberlain
Daniel Johnston
Adam Chambers
Dan Connelly
Philip Chan
Jie Liang
Tiago Chan
Shuuhei Nakamura
Morgan Chang
Brian Nocenti
Ben Chapman
Nathan Wallace
Yuchung Chen
Yufan Chen
Paul Cheon
Sam Stein
Adam Clark
Ryan Pratt
Lyle Cohen
Jamie Parke
Cory Conrad
Susan Edwards
Alan Coombe
Cody Scott
Kyle Coons
Danny Jordan
Geddes Cooper
Steven Wolansky
Simon Cooper
Harriet Cooper
Raphael Coqueiro
Pedro Carvalho
Michael Corley
Christopher Lewis
Michael Cortez
Brady O’Hanlon
Anthony Costello
Matthew Zembruski
Luke Cotnoir
Richard Kirchner
Benjamin Coursey
Jeffrey Perrault
Michael Court
Nathan Therrien
Michael Cowell
Adam Cowell
Benjamin Cox
Doug Azzano
Patrick Crane
Katy Levinson
Robert Croteau
James Fournier
Nelson Crowe
Danielle Jepson
Keith Crupi
Kelly Washburn
Phu Dao
Trey Dismukes
Guillaume Daoust
Guillaume Cardin
Scott Darby
Andrew Noworaj
Dan D’Argenio
Jonathan Morawski
Robb Davis
Jim Davis
Jason Imperiale
Steven Davis
Jeffery Szymczyh
Geoff Dearing
Michael Winger
Jason DePasquale
Michael Farrell
Andrew DiFiore
Bruce Lindsay
Eric Dolan
Aaron Elliot
Bryan Dowse
Erik Lundblad
Dustin Droggitis
Sean Morgan
April Duhaime
Marc Flore
Ryan Durney
Jennifer Lindsay
Willy Edel
Jonathan Melamed
Walter Egli
Brian Robinson
Darrin Emery
Adam Stickney
Derrick Engel
Eric Sproston
Matty Evans
Adam Egli
Joe Ewing
Douglas Pimm
Ben Farkas
Eric Phillipps
Jon Felice
Ryan Harriman
Chris Fennell
Nick Eisel
Matt Ferrando
Miles Rodriguez
John Fiorillo
Eugene Harvey
Jeff Fischer
Robert Head
Max Fitzer
Shane Flanigan
Eric Scanlan
Matthew Fletcher
Paul Mathews
Jeffrey Folinus
Kai Burnett
Brad Forrest
Jon Corpora
Matt Forsythe
Jimmy Forsythe
Nathan Fritts
Scott Rogganbuck
Derek Frobel
Ian McBride
Calosso Fuentes
Jon Pryplesh
Colin Fyffe
Matthew Pavlinsky
Daniel Gabriel
Justin Corriveau
Daniel Gacioch
Mike Blaha
Blake Gallo
Greg Lanzillotta
Keith Gallot
Taylor Connor
Mark Garcia
Bill Baldridge
Kyle Garnelis
Scott Britschock
Martin-Eric Gauthier
Guillaume Belanger
Justin Gilmartin
David Etling
Ryan Gleason
Phil Coulson
Paul Glentz
Abraham Lipton
Martin Goldberg
Alex Borysenko
Donald Goldin
Kyle Burke
Borg Golten
Derek Dupras
Phil Samms
Kevin Goodrich
Matthew Robinson
Chris Gosselin
Edward Dunning
Michael Gosselin
Nicholas Gosselin
Corbett Gray
Corwin Marsh
Brian Grimmer
John DeAngelo
Joseph Grollman
Daisuke Abe
Peter Grube
Eddie Gamble
Patrick Gruber
Adam Collins
Berkley Gryder
Robert Versele
Thomas Guevin
Christopher Roy
Daniel Guzman
Stephen Young
James Hague
Nassim Ketita
James Halter
Adam Rubens
Dan Hartman
Justin Alden
Colin Hatfield
Tyler Rhodes
Brett Blackman
Brandon Hawkins
Lawrence Creech
Curtis Henkel
Jonathan Ward
Edward Ho
Wesley Chau
Ken Ho
Antonino De Rosa
Jay Hollingworth
Joe Semmelroch
David Howard
Adam Fox
Mike Hron
Brian Kowal
Russell Irwin
Jesse May
Anthony Izzo
Asher Hecht
Bill Jannen
Peter Jannen
Peter Jesuale
Na Liang
Gregory Jolin
Mike Lacroix
Mike Jordan
Michael Ferri
Joseph Kambourakis
Don Lippincott
Frank Karsten
Roel van Heeswijk
Chad Kastel
Allen Jackson
Darwin Kastle
Chad Ellis
Donald Kastner
Michael Shanks
Conrad Kolos
Nicholas Neary
Eric Krasnauskas
John Cataldo
Craig Krempels
Nicholas Fiorillo
Ryan Krueger
Matthew Poirier
John Kubilis
Stephanie Snow
Joseph Kulikowski
Christopher Ho
Jeremy Kunkel
Elliott Tzaneteas
Erich Kunz
Timothy Sussino
Randy LaMountain
Jake Cutler
Jason Lanzillotta
Benjamin Pie
Richard Lapointe
John Fitzgerald
Tommee Larochelle
Charles Montigny
Justin LaRose
Mason Vines
Mark LePine
Mitchell Tamblyn
Osyp Lebedowicz
Phil Napoli
Jackie Lee
Blake Macary
Herman Lee
Michael Parris
James Lee
Brian Weitz
Kyle Leith
Travis Laplante
Drew Levin
Derek Anderson
Adam Levitt
Mike Mushaty
Jay Levy
Marlon Egolf
Raphael Levy
Geoffrey Siron
Aaron Lewis
Jesse Bourgault
Anthony Liberoti
Nicholas Hurd
Mark Littlefield
Bobby Cautela
Jason Lundberg
Seth Gold
Ben Lundquist
Brian Lynch
Melissa DeTora
Paul Lyons
Wilbert Yeung
James Mankins
Jesse Robinson
Chris Manning
Bruce Cowley
Tyler Mantey
Kyle Moeller
Robert Manuel
David Defilippo
Richard Marchand
Ryan Succan
Mat Marr
Evan Lasley
Quentin Martin
Ruud Warmenhoven
Randy Martineau
John Murin
Christopher Mason
Bob Solorio
Jack McCarthy
David Crocker
Michael McGee
Rich Herbert
Douglas McKay
Jason Merwin
Nick McKittrick
Thomas Ellis
Charles McLaughlin
Justin Brinner
James McMahon
Spencer Assiff
Alex Melnikow
Jeff White
David Melvin
Richard Moulton
Todd Merry
Lawrence Abbandando
Matt Meyers
Jesse Hughes
Rich Meyst
Raymond Robillard
Stephen Miller
William Harris
Kyle Miller
Mark LaBelle
Justin Miyashiro
Amber Orr
Chris Mondon
Derek McClasky
Jeremy Moore
Daniel Maciag
Billy Moreno
Eugene Levin
Conor Morgan
Billy Moreau
Kevin Mullen
Alexander Austin
Ryan Mulrooney
Tom Phelon
Stephen Nagy
Andres Miguel
Ralph Navaria
Michael Innace
Todd Nery
Paul Calder
Bill Nielsen
Wilson Freeman
Jamie Nowell
Danny Simoneau
Andrew O’Brien
Joshua Currie
Brendan O’Donnell
Derek Carrier
Erik Olsen
James Olsen
Michael O’Neil
Scott Tarbell
Diego Ostrovich
Jelger Wiegersma
Colin Packenham
Stephen Heitman
Theodore Palkon
Marty Rose
Jason Paradis
Kelly Kumm
Mateo Pastore
David Pargh
Mike Patnik
John Moore
William Pawlirzyn
Christopher Schaut
Steven Pearlman
Matthew Diener
Aaron Pennock
Dave Beloin
Ryan Phraner
Joshua Taylor
Max Pincus
Larry Sequino
James Pirkey
Simon Wechsler
Mike Ponce
David Darling
Greg Poverelli
John Chang
Casey Prall
Charle Guzman
Pedro Quintero
Alex Bertoncini
Adam Ragsdale
Charles Starling
Sean Ransom
Kristofer Grundt
Daniel Rein
Darwin Goh
Tyler Pfundheller
Austin Pfundheller
Spencer Reiss
Dillon Reiss
Xiao Ying Ren
Yi Cheng
Tom Renger
Joseph Cannon
Sean Rester
Scott Robertson
Shawn Rezendes
Jared Robidoux
Ethan Rider
Tom Whitcomb
Jonathan Rizzo
Dan Snyder
Ariel Rolon
Matt Darling
Carlos Romao
Sergio Martins
James Rosseel
Devon O’Donnell
Robert DiPalma
Ben Rubin
Morgan Douglass
Antoine Ruel
Olivier Ruel
Eric Rufener
Mike Zeimentz
Brad Ruxton
Tony DeHano
Sean-Michael Ryder
Erik Larson
Steve Sadin
Paul Jordan
Tomoharu Saitou
Tomohiro Kaji
Brandon Samson
David Hughes
Kyle Sanchez
Taylor Webb
Noah Sandler
Ryan Lorenz
James Sanguinetti
David Feinstein
Edward Santiago
Myles Pirro
Joseph Schmidt
Zack Hall
Mark Schmit
Kevin An
Gabe Schwartz
Eli Hamblet
Greg Schwartz
Larry LaClaire
Todd Scott
John Davis
Torrance Scott
Joe Dubois
Charles Sears
Thomas Leveille
Paul Sekeras
Josh Hess
Will Shanks
Andrew Jayich
Yakov Shapiro
Henry Wong
Alexander Shell
Allan Pottle
Mike Sigrist
Lucas Glavin
Matt Siler
Christin McCullough
Mark Simmons
Scott Alshanski
John Sittner
Jeff Sittner
Brian Siu
Jim Dyke
Tim Galbiati
James Smee
Jared Smith
Thomas Frey
Don Smoot
David Webb
Shaheen Soorani
Brian Kelly
Dustin Sorel
Mickey Barr
Ian Spaulding
Alex Werner
Ryan Spring
Chris Lachmann
Kevin Stechler
Spencer Doehlert
Richard Stein
Richard Therkom
Sam Stoddard
Ervin Tormos
Matthew Stone
Paul Gamble
Kevin Stratton
Eric Murray
Eric Sund
Patrick Rudzik
Ben Swartz
Noah Swartz
Mike Swissa
Dustin Dezube
Mark Swoyer
Eric Sandrock
Jeffrey Szelzki
Dan Lanthier
Gadiel Szleifer
John Pelcak
Alex Tamblyn
Justin Carter
Steven Terry
Nicolas Cuenca
Mark Thibault
Joseph Lawrence
Mike Thompson
Jon Sonne
Richard Thompson
Julie Thompson
Christopher Thoms
Carl Dillahay
Max Tietze
Oswell Smith
Brandon Todesca
Jason Laferte
Christopher Tourlou
Roberto Castro
Sean Trahan
Seth Trahan
Kenji Tsumura
Rich Hoaen
Scott Tucker
Domenic Minicucci
Brian Tully
Juris Magararu
Marc Tuttle
Christopher Rue
Sean Vandover
Allex Majlaton
Gaudenis Vidugiris
Nicole Leister
Matt Vienneau
Steve Wolfman
John Wade
Tom LaPille
Gabe Walls
Julien Nuijten
Steve Wampler
Zach Kessler
Matthew Wang
Steve O’Mahoney-Schwartz
William Wash
Luther Reedy
Andrew Watts
Erik Bezrutczyk
Tim Wear
Connor Raftery
Jeremy White
Craig Brooks
Niko White
Evan Hiller
James White
Joshua Nichols
Ethan Wilfong
Jonathan Allen
Erik Williams
Chris Trembley
Troy Wright
Ryan Barr
Graham Wright
Peter Wright
Shouta Yasooka
Takuya Oosawa
Ling Yeung
Patrick Wood
Johnny Yu
Christopher Melville
Allan Zabrecky
Michael Cutrone
Stephen Zhang
Patrick Flynn
Eric Ziegler
Gerard Fabiano

Jesse Hawkins

That’s all for this week and – who are we kidding? – probably month as well. It’s time

for some song lyrics and the ol’ signoff. Goodnight, kids!

It’s tearin’ up my heart when I’m with you
And when we are apart I feel it toooo
And no matter what I do I feel the paaaaaain

Timothy James Aten
Vermilion, OH
chester6561 on AIM (I’ve been bored lately so I may actually respond)
[email protected]

*Ability to tolerate airports and European hotel rooms.
**Pretend I’m the pizza delivery guy and…
***We’er are. No, this footnote probably won’t make sense to anyone but Hoaen.
****Or Unglued, you unspeakable nerd.