Welcome to my new series, called ‘Conversations.’ The idea is to check back in with some of the authors of Magic’s great articles, discuss some of their most notable works, and pick their brains for whatever else is on their minds. Simple in concept, simple in execution, and hopefully educating and entertaining along the way.
Today’s edition is at least half written by Rizzo, so you might want to have a seat because you’ll be here a while. Jonny Friggin’ was one of the first Magic writers that really captured my attention back in the day. His work was like nothing else in the community, and for reasons I never quite put my finger on, I was always fascinated by what he had to say. Known for incomparable word counts, lots of cursing, innuendo, and frequent tilting at windmills, Rizzo was fearless in the topics that he chose to cover and the stances he took. Despite working for ‘The Man’ (Wizards) and ‘The Other Man’ (StarCityGames.com) during my editorial and coverage tenures, that fearlessness certainly inspired my own writing and that of a generation of Magic writers that burst onto the scene from 2002-2004. Seeing what Rizzo pulled off made it easier for me to step out on the proverbial limb and go after topics we felt important about (horrific Magic Online experiences, bannings in Standard , cheating, tournament douchebags, uh, smoking… you name it).
I caught up to Rizzo in his palatial Virginia mansion (said to be styled after guitarist, NRA spokesman, and conservative radio pundit Ted Nugent’s) to talk about his writing, his Magic friends, and his most notable article, Stuck in the Middle with Bruce.
TK: Alright, when you agreed to graciously donate your time (but not your body), I promised to talk about things various and sundry mostly relating to Magic and specifically relating to one particular article, and we’ll do that. However, I feel we need to start off with a little background music for the PTQ kiddies at home who were five when you initially started writing for StarCityGames.com in 2000.
Looking at your archive, you had two huge runs of consistent article production, the first starting in July 2000 and ending around March of 2002-ish (there were some scattered ones after), and the second starting with that f***ing monster in October of 2005 (guess who edited it?) through into the first half of 2008. That’s a lot of time spent talking about the slinging of spells and a huge body of flavor-filled work. Do you think you were overcompensating?
JFR: Probably.
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(I really want that to be the complete answer just to piss you off because that’s how I show affection.)
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However, I had a lot to say and a forum to say it. For a while there, it was like I had carte blanche to write whatever the hell I wanted, with little or no regard to sentence structure, article length, article relevance, article quality, or even comprehensibility. I had my own Hunter S. Thompson-slash-Other Assorted Drug Legends-style blog, but someone else did the HTML, editing, formatted the pics, drove traffic to the site, and even paid me for it. Epic win before wins were epic.
Basically, I just started writing about things that I found interesting and thought that others would as well (unless they were d*cks), and kinda got carried away. In my defense, who wouldn’t want to know what it’s like to be an actual member of Team CMU (I really and truly was!), or to read about the comeuppance of a self-important windbag with bad grammar and cleverly hidden dirty words who refused to netdeck or ID and steadfastly 2-5’d every PTQ? I’d absolutely read that guy, if only to see him get his just desserts.
If I was overcompensating, it was because I was over-committing, or more accurately completely committing to the entire M:tG experience, and wanted to take all y’all along for the ride.
TK: Stepping beyond the Magic stuff for a minute, you lead an interesting life, including being a semi-professional playwright. What’s your one-paragraph bio for the JFR’s back-of-the-book-blurb?
JFR: I hate writing bios, so much so that I was the only playwright that didn’t turn in a bio for the last couple festivals where I received production. My first StarCityGames.com bio caused me anguish for years (and much relentless teasing from Aaron Forsythe), my second was more ass than Peat Bog, and I can barely tolerate the one that’s up now. But okay:
Every time John Friggin’ Rizzo thinks he finds an answer, he suddenly discovers a sh**load of new questions and then blames you. And people all over the world have paid for his “work.” P.T. Barnum = most right guy ever.
TK: You were claiming to be old in 2001, and the constantly bald head in pictures makes you nearly as ageless as one of those Chinese Shaolin masters. How old are you now?
JFR: Older by nine years. I actually just turned 41, but age is just a number, said what’s-her-face way-back-when. When I last played regularly a couple years back, I often played against 13 and 14-year-olds, and had no problem beating the ever-loving snot out of them ’cause they have no respect for their elders, pull up your drawers and what is this fascination with “texting!?” Everybody is old as sh**, though, and sooner than later. Random 15 year-old reading this: you’ll be 41 one day, too. But not as cool as me.
TK: Going back to CMU, one of the things that always surprised me when I stepped back from your articles is that you really were part of that team.
JFR: Even Keanu Reeves would have said “whoa” with every single fiber of emotion in his being, which is precisely one single fiber.
TK: I mean, here is one of the best Magic teams in a the world at that time, full of brutally efficient players and deckbuilders, and then there’s you and all the Johnny Friggin’ stuff sitting right there with them, battling alongside them at the ‘O’ on draft night, humping to PTQs far and wide on weekends.
JFR: It should have been awkward, but wasn’t except when I’d be playing Forsythe or Turian or Andy J and studying the board like I had no clue, when the right play or plays was so patently obvious to everyone there… and they’re silently wondering if I’m really that bad at Magic. Then I did something utterly useless and proved that, yep, I am that bad.
TK: The no-netdeck, no-ID thing must have driven them nuts, at least in part because it’s almost as if, should they create a good new deck without you that became popular, you couldn’t use it because IssueBoy would be standing at the forefront wagging a finger.
JFR: I remember Turian teasing me a little about it, but mostly no one really cared that much. They knew I was a d*ck, but I was their d*ck. But mostly, my role wasn’t to build decks or theorize on card selection, it was as a body to play against, a guy who had lots of lands and all the rares to borrow, with a little fellowship and teachable moments thrown in. But I damn straight didn’t ask nearly enough questions or absorb enough knowledge, which is okay, since I’m not a big fan of being taught – I prefer to figure things out myself, though I most often failed to do so when it came to understanding the theory or motivation behind this play or that choice. Only because I was a d*ck.
TK: Regardless, you struck chords with normal readers where probably only Jamie Wakefield has ever resonated so well. A lot of readers didn’t necessarily agree with you because they couldn’t make themselves give up so much for the principles – they would certainly ID into a Top 8 and would usually netdeck – but they respected your opinion and loved you for standing up for it. That kind of funky dichotomy is wonderful and almost unthinkable in this day and age. Imagine a new writer working with some NYC team or CFB from Cali who wouldn’t ID… he’d get laughed off the website. I think losing some of that innocence (even if it was extremely self-aware) in the community is a bit of a shame.
JFR: I think I wanted something different than most others. Ten years later, I’m still not sure what that might have been, although fighting the power, sticking it to the man, and every once in a while being absolutely dead-nuts correct may have been on the table. While I still hate IDs, I eventually learned to offer or accept them when they were to my benefit, but with quite the bitter aftertaste. Going rogue was one hell of a handicap, so on the off chance that I made it to potential ID territory, I realized there was so little to be gained by adding yet another contrived layer of self-righteousness.
TK: While you were at CMU, you got to hang out regularly with three of my favorite people in the whole wide world before I ever knew them, back when they were young and oh-so-fresh: Coach (Aaron Forsythe), Eugene ‘Eubroken’ Harvey, and The Potato, Mike Turian. Tell me about them.
JFR: If there is a world’s most perfect Magic player, a person for whom Magic might have been specifically made, it’s Forsythe. He’s Timmy, Johnny, Spike, the randoms walking around with trade binders, and the pros endlessly debating the subtle differences between Fyndhorn Elves and Llanowar Elves. I’ve yet to see anyone enjoy the game more, while still treating it with the utmost seriousness when appropriate than Aaron the Relentless. He even made me enjoy the game more, which I didn’t think possible, since I already loved the sh** out of it, not to mention he’s probably the easiest guy to be around that I’ve ever, well, been around.
TK: Coach is the perfect blend in so many ways, and I’m sure Wizards is much the better for it. I wasn’t there, but I would guess his tweeness in terms of Timmy, Johnny, and Spike is one of the things that let you guys get along so well. You certainly influenced each other heavily, and he always had good things to say about you when you came up in conversation over the years. Aaron’s a bit of a curmudgeon, so that means a lot.
JFR: Actually, he probably influenced me more than I him. For instance, actually pronouncing “lol,” “rofl,” and “lmao,” is of Forsythian origin. He was the first I heard actually say “lawl,” “rowfull,” and “lame-o” in real life. To thank him, I stole the living sh** out of those and really never gave him credit. This is credit, past due.
TK: Forsythe is one of the few PT players I met that really loved and studied casual formats and actually understood fun just as well as being competitive. Maybe it was his brother Neil that helped keep him grounded?
JFR: Neil is a f***ing trip. Back in my high school days, I “acquired” a Volkswagon grill emblem which I wrapped around a tremendously long pseudo-gold chain, a la Mike D of the Beastie Boys. Somehow, Aaron got hold of it and gave it to Neil, who wore it for an entire PTQ. Or maybe Neil got hold of it and Aaron wore it around all day. Either way, it was fun times, and I might have written of it, so go click on every one of my articles until you find it…
TK: On the other hand, he was obviously more than capable of roughing up Nats and Worlds when appropriate. One of the things he never got enough credit for (in my opinion) was being an outstanding writer and editor to boot. His work with articles like Stop Being So Damned Casual and what he helped create at MTG.com set the tone for almost everything on the web about Magic that exists today and wasn’t originally set by The Dojo. The PT/PTQ player has been well served for tech and articles since the days when the old dudes used to talk via newsgroups, but MTG.com ended up being about so much more than tech, and clearly the game is better for it. Plus, his work on Latest Developments was actually the best. You could sometimes tell he was crushed for time, but that column during his run was absolutely mandatory reading.
JFR: Dude could write his ass off, just sayin’. I was pleased as punch when he came over to StarCityGames.com and we were writing for *the same site.* As for MTG.com, Aaron’s columns were the only ones I would read religiously, probably because I was just looking for mentions of me. Wait, I forgot to end that sentence with a “LOL,” “heh,” or exclamation mark so you knew I was kidding, LOL heh exclamation mark!
TK: Beyond that, you could get into the whole M10 thing or the running Magic R&D thing, but does that grumpy old man really need further ego stroking? His sperm apparently only produces X’s though, so now he lives in an entire house of women. Good beats, that.
JFR: Judging by the Christmas card he sent me, they’re all cute as all get out, and he’s one lucky sumb*tch. Judging by the lack of Christmas card I sent him and his peeps, I’m a d*ckhead.
[Eugene] Heh, no one really called him “Eubroken” except me, which I understand: “Eugenius” is catchy enough that I’m jealous I didn’t invent it. Every time I played Eugene, even when I thought he was some random party crasher at The O, I felt like I had no chance. Didn’t matter what the board looked like, or the life totals, or if he was down to zero lands in play (“battlefield?!” Wizards is killing Magic!), no cards in hand, in the ‘yard or his library, I still felt naked and ashamed, slightly, of my nakedness. I don’t think I ever beat him one single game ever never ever not even in a draft not even in playtesting not even in Five not ever never ever – I was 88 keys and he was cracking his knuckles in preparation for some serious gliss action on my ass. But he was always willing to discuss plays or answer questions I had about this or that or why I truly suck at Magic.
TK: I was lucky enough to spend the better part of the last three years working with Eugene, but thankfully did not have to play Magic against him.
JFR: I never knew that a) because you were Johnny Hush–Hush, b) I was away while you were discussing this sexiness, or c) I did know but completely forgot. Choose an option, but if we’re in “Starship Troopers” I’m nodding my assent when the guy asks “Would like to know more?”
TK:The job is like Fight Club, you only hint at it around the edges in public places. I did play a lot of basketball though, and he has the sneakiest low post game of any skinny, balding, red-haired Magic genius I have ever met, to the point that guys four inches taller often couldn’t guard him. Strange but true.
JFR: A couple years back, I broke my nose playing basketball at work. It was unbelievably cool, despite hurting like a sumb*tch. I took a wicked elbow and my fingers went to where my nose used to be to discover it was now an inch-plus off center. Sorry, that was random… do they still say “random?”
TK: Speaking of… Eugene’s performance of P.I.M.P. at karaoke in Kobe was also one of the performances for the ages. I’m a bit of an odd duck and we used to get up unbelievably early every Saturday and Sunday to work on European Soccer, so occasionally I’d be punchy and sing Eugene’s name to him in falsetto to the tune of ‘Jolene’ at 6am some mornings. I like to think he still loves me, but he’s a tough read.
JFR: You best offer up a moment of silence, or at least a tip of the cap, when you talk about Dolly Parton’s “Jolene,” lest I smack you in the mouth! Song is like, complete mint, guy.
TK: Disregarding random story time, he was shockingly good at Magic. I think part of his baldness came from his giant brain generating too much heat while thinking, and it burned away his hairline.
JFR: When are people going to realize that baldness isn’t a disease! Bald people are people just like you and me, and can do anything you and I can do! All they want is to be treated like anyone else! If you agree, post this as your status for one hour! Sadly, 93% of you won’t, because you choose to see the lack of hair on the head instead of the courage in the heart!
TK: He and PTR combined to create one of my favorite feature matches.
JFR: They don’t make ’em like PTR anymore, which may be good, but surely less entertaining… and way less bowel movement jokes.
[Turian] Turian laughed a lot, cracked a lot of jokes, but wasn’t above a verbal beatdown (metaphorically) when I did some really dumb sh** during a game, which was often. He was the only CMUer there when I made my first Top 8, and was kind enough to congratulate me and then tell me why I am so very awfully terrible at Magic. He was all about the yin and yang, the “you did good, but dude, you still suck” speeches, said with a loving, tender, sensitive, back rub with baby oil, rose petals on the bed vibe but seriously you really suck at Magic! He and Aaron I think really wanted me to get better and to learn to see things the way successful players did. Well, I got a little better, so natch…
TK: To me, the Potato is like the opposite of Rich Hoaen; he’s the jolliest. Behind the jolly, though, is one of the smartest Magic players ever to pick up a 40-card deck. I never beat Turian in a draft, ever.
JFR: I did! In the words of the immortal William Atherton: “Eat it, Harvey!”
TK: Mike made me the Schrodinger’s Cat experiment with attacking creatures, except it didn’t matter which way I blocked or didn’t block, cast my removal spell or pumped my guy, I was always dead. On the other hand, he also was willing to help teach me, for which I’m thankful.
Hell, I even managed to lose money betting on him and Becker to take down a random side draft in Hawaii against Pierre Canali and some random French guy (G. Holmes Waffle-Tapper or something… seriously, he was just some random at the time). At least Mike always made it fun though, and now that I am entering my dotage I realize there are very few people in the world you can say that about.
JFR: Psst, Teddy… gambling is illegal. Maybe edit that part out, k?
TK: It’s okay, John… I’m a professional.
I guess I’m a little bit jealous, because with you there and the rest of the CMU gang. Pittsburgh actually sounds like it was an awesome place to be for few years, a sentiment about Pittsburgh that will likely never be repeated.
JFR: I suppose it was, though “awesome” may be a little brave, and those times were all about Becky’s goodness, but I don’t miss the city one bit. You see, people talk funny there. Funnier than in Maine. Funnier than in Virginia. Listen to Bill Cowher’s accent, then multiply it by a factor of ten, then realize that’s not a legitimate reason to not like a city, even if it is in receivership and is considering annexing all of Allegheny County into its tax base omg lol srsly and they talk funny there?
TK: What did Magic and writing during that era give you?
JFR: Magic gave me something constructive to jump into that fed my creativity and competitive spirit, though much more the former than the latter. It was pretty random that anyone ever introduced it to me, more random that I liked it, and completely f***ing random that I ended up travelling hundreds of miles and spending a sh**load of money on a game I would have laughed at had it come to my attention at any other time or in any other way. The writing gave me a way to vent, fight, explore, create, and do ridiculous stuff that no one had before (Note: The Ferrett gave me much-needed confidence, leeway, encouragement, and started me off on the best possible foot – without him, there would be no frigginrizzo and we wouldn’t be having this conversation, so blame him for what ails ya’) and StarCityGames.com gave me a place to post my therapy results-slash-articles, a bunch of cards once I got my head out of my ass and stopped with the “being paid for what you love to do is a mortal sin all you sinners!” garbage, and an assload of recognition that I initially enjoyed then came to hate, so much so that to this day, when someone says “you’re so awesome” I want to punch them in the face. Maybe we can, um, come back to that “later.”
Overall, Magic gave me a hell of a lot: friendships, memories, an actual writing career, but you know what, it sure took a hell of a lot, too.
TK: You beat me to the punch there. One of the reasons I stayed away from the game completely for the last three years aside from recruiting people and giving my opinion on one Hall of Fame ballot is that Magic is so damned consuming. In many ways, my involvement in the game and the community is all or nothing, I’m either pregnant with it, reading a shedload of articles, debating pick orders with friends, trying to concoct Standard decklists that beat 10-year-olds, etc, or I’m not. There is no in-between. I knew that even trying to keep a casual interest in the game plus submersing myself in everything required for a new job would likely cause all sorts of things to break, most particularly a lot of my human relationships.
What was the toll like for you?
JFR: Like that – all or nothing. I used to envy the guys who got me started, for they were content to play a little melee on Saturdays – maybe they added a new card or two to their decks, maybe not; they just liked to play… sometimes. Me, I wanted to play all the time, and devoted so much effort into building decks, writing articles, reading articles and poring over spoilers, that it took me a long time to realize that none of this sh** was playing. This ended up being the to-do list in order to play. But in order to actually and officially play, you have to wait. And wait, and wait, and wait. Take your average PTQ. Seven rounds of a well-run tourney is going to run eight-plus hours, with maybe 25-50% of that time comprised of actual game play. I hate waiting. I hate lines and crowds. Waiting + lines + crowds = every single PTQ I’ve ever attended. Case in point: I spent roughly seven hours at GP: Washington, D.C., and played one single draft. While I enjoyed the piss out of that draft (seventh pick Vendetta!!??!!!!!??????WAITWHAT!!!HESAIDSEVENTH!!!?????), that’s much too much walking and talking and generally milling around to justify such a limited pwnership of noobz. To properly explain this, I’d probably have to write a twenty page article, so I’ll just throw in some ellipses right here…
TK: Of the hundreds of thousands (millions?!?) of words that you wrote during your CMU period, Stuck in the Middle with Bruce is one of the articles that really stands out for a lot of people. It was nominated by multiple old dudes in the Top8Magic greatest articles of all time thread, and the concepts inside it are just as honest and interesting today as they were nearly a decade ago. (Just the other day and completely unprompted, Ben Peebles-Mundy called it “the only Magic article that still matters.”) In it you introduce people to this guy Bruce, who has this habit of sabotaging himself and his life in various ways. You then apply that to Magic in a way that I had never seen discussed before and rarely since.
JFR: That’s quite an honor, especially since I could probably name, off the top of my head, twenty or thirty articles I’d put in the greatest ever thread. Thanks, old bastards at Top8Magic.
TK: Magic is a mental game and as such provides ample opportunity to do just what you mention, punting away points of life here or card advantage there. The variance of the game also comes into play in that it makes it much more difficult to tell if you lost because the other guy sacked you out or you got mana screwed, or whether you just screwed up. And the fact of the matter is, some guys are chokers. They have all the skills necessary to make a Top 8, but when it gets down to crunch time, Bruce puts them into a sleeper hold and chokes them right out. Guys like Kai or Jon or Eugene can go into the tank, thinking long and hard about a situation, and you know they are likely to come out of it with the right play, but there are a lot of us out there who go into that tank and miraculously end up with exactly the wrong answer. He’s a Hall of Famer and a great guy, but Gary Wise had some classics, and for that matter, so did Nicolai Herzog. Magic’s hard, but it’s a lot harder when Bruce is on your back.
JFR: Heh, Gary Wise fun little “You’re at two? Shock your guy!” is one of my all-time faves. But yep, *that’s* how hard Magic can be.
TK: How do you think the article has held up after all these years?
JFR: It doesn’t seem as dated as I would have thought. Apparently, it’s held up well, since I still get emails giving me props. About a year ago, Zvi sent me a Facebook message that peeps on lesswrong.com were discussing the “theoretical” ideas in the article. I hadn’t read it in years, but found the forum comments interesting enough to check it out with fresher eyes. I think it says what I wanted to say back then, though I’d surely edit the hell out of it (and put more fun in, since it was uncharacteristically dry, for me), but only because I’m ten years older/wiser/more of a d*ck.
I can say that I still agree with much of what I wrote, but I don’t think I went far enough in dissecting the need to lose and how it correlates with everything from Freud’s ridiculous theories to just about every single religion ever practiced.
When you first mentioned you wanted to discuss this, I had a ton of thoughts about what I needed to say about the article. Now, I realize that I should just shut up, put it to bed, and offer a big “thanks, chief” to all that have sent me encouraging notes and spoken highly of it all these years. So, thanks, chief(s).
TK: One of the reasons I still feel strongly about that article is that it provides an important counter-point to your typical Magic mentality articles. Bruce pre-dated them by a good bit, but Becker’s excellent Tomfidence and The Boxer Mentality provide the ‘think positive thoughts’ blueprints, while Scott John’s You Suck! and Jamie’s mistake die article provide the realist’s perspective.
JFR: I likes me some Becker, and his reaction to my Searching For Jamie Wakefield was a big shot in the arm and tons of good stuff came from that witty repartee with he, I, Josh Beckett and Forsythe. I always read Scott Johns, even when he was on that black site with white letters, and obv in the next life I want to come back as Next Life Wakefield’s sexual partner. Though The Wakefield Die is a sound idea, after reading Chapin’s book, I wonder if one die is enough, for any of us…? Or perhaps Chapes exaggerates…?
TK: Bruce is a bit more abstract than all of those, but it some ways more important and useful because of the psychological elements. In fact, I often find myself extrapolating further out about whether I really prepared myself well enough for a format, tested enough, read enough about what other people are doing, etc. Did I do my best with the time and energy I had, or did I sabotage myself? As we said earlier, Magic’s a slippery slope that can swallow your soul if you want it to, but sometimes it seems you have to give it your soul in order to be as good as us hyper-competitive, obsessive types want to be. Does that make any sense?
JFR: Of course it makes sense. You can always do better with the time and energy you have, even if you go 17-0 all sweeps, never take a point of damage and win the Pro Tour. Even though you had a perfect record, you could have theoretically done better in each individual game or turn – there is, in a sense, some potential sabotage involved because, even if you think you gave it your all, there was much more you could have given, not only in preparation, but in actual play. If one were to get picky, one could insist that perfect playtesting could only occur by playing out every single possible situation that could ever arise given the gauntlet of X decks and your deck. Yeah, that might take, like a year, I get it.
The results are irrelevant in this instance, The 17-0 PT win, for anything less than complete and total perfection of effort means that you didn’t give 100%. If you didn’t go over everything that could have conceivably happened at the PT, then you have failed to protect yourself from your Bruce, because why would you ignore a situation that could arise, even if only once every 1,000 years given gauntlet X and your deck? Put it this way: even if you did give 100%, why not 101%? Why would you short change yourself like that? I’m sure we’re not in tune with ourselves or the rest of the universe enough to notice the difference between 100% and 101%, especially since knowledge never stands still, thus what we know right now was outdated the moment we knew it, but that’s how far the Bruce puzzle can go. While I aimed the original article to more of an everyman-everyday-applicable situation, here I may just be f***ing with you for no reason whatsoever. Or maybe I’m not. How’s that for abstract?
TK: Now that I have kids, I find it a little easier to find peace about the time (or lackthereof) I devote to Magic, because I’m cognizant that a lot of time spent with Magic would be at the cost of time with my kids or my fiancé, but it still takes effort on my part to let it go. In a sense, that’s the love coming through — Magic is a sexy mistress — but in another sense it’s everything that makes me good and bad at what I do all rolled into one. To put it another way, I’m really good at my job where I have endured swings of hundreds of thousands of dollars on a weekly basis, but I still get pissed at myself for making a stupid play and losing round 1 of a draft, even if I’m only drafting once or twice a week.
JFR: Hey, I’m the original “guy with kids,” or at least a charter member, so I know all about the familial situation. And yet… I went to the PTQs, built decks for hours on end, read every single article, and tested forever and ever and ever. There was no need to sacrifice family time – just sacrifice sleep. After everyone is in bed, say 11:00, go up to your little escape pod/study, and begin. You can work/play until, say, 2:00, and grab yourself a good four hours of sleep. See how I rationalized that? It’s because that’s what I did. Magic is a sexy b*tch indeed. While I can understand your ability to swing 100k per week with a yawn but get enraged at losing to scrub-o-licious on MTGO, that doesn’t mean there isn’t something seriously wrong with you that may require immediate attention. I know, I’ve been there. Now, c’mere, Cornelius, hug time!
TK: Swings like that still don’t get a yawn, but me not sleeping enough certainly does. I am weak there — not sleeping enough makes me really stupid. Now that I think about it, my mental game is one of the things that changed about how I played Magic over the years. At one point when I played, I just wanted to win. I didn’t win much at all, but I wanted to and I was disappointed when I didn’t.
JFR: Everyone “wants” to win. But I think “want” can be graphed, or thrown into a pie chart. Those who “want to win” are the giant Pac Man of the pie chart, while those who “really, really want to win” are the pellet-sized remainder. Everything that isn’t pellet-sized is Bruce.
TK: Over time I realized what the difference between variance and bad play really is, and eventually when I played Magic, I just wanted to play well and learn things. That’s how I kept the emotions in check and learned to enjoy the game, even while I was losing. The professional Magic player would probably say that by doing this I’m already sabotaging myself, but I’m not a pro and likely never will be, so this let me stay sane. In a lot of ways it’s the thought processes, the community, and the camaraderie that brought me back this time and will probably keep me coming back
JFR: I wonder if there is a difference between bad play and variance. I mean, basically variance is the intangibles, right? X number of game losses can be attributed to the randomness of the shuffle, mana screw, matchups, what have you, but if you dig deeply enough, aren’t these mere excuses? True preparation could anticipate all possible variance and find a way to beat it into oblivion. Anything less than true preparation is Bruce.
Theoretically, of course.
TK: You said just a bit ago that you “could probably name, off the top of my head, twenty or thirty articles I’d put in the greatest ever thread.” What are some of the ones slightly off the beaten path that people should go back and read today?
JFR: Far from me to make such egregious suggestions, but one can do worse than to read the following, which are many of my all-time favs: OMC’s “William Shatner Buys Porno,” “Sealed Deck Knowledge From The Masses” and “Taking One In The Chops,” by Aaron Forsythe, “Baked In The Bean Bracket” by your drug-induced ass, Zac Hill “Fun,” Kelly Digges “Why We Play,” “Dear Magic” by JMS, “Beatdown Bargain” by Adrian Sullivan, Billy Moreno “Livin’ The Dream,” Bennie Smith “Overeager Apprentice.dec,” Geordie Tait “Sometimes Red Just Wins,” The Ferrett “The Great Misunderstanding,” Feldman’s “Power V. Synergy,” and the batch of really good stuff from the Mike Mason/Will Reiffer Blurred Mongoose era. I would further suggest reading just about anything from some of my favorite bromancey mancrushey writers: Shante McKeown, Chapin, Wakefield, Chad Ellis, Zvi, Chris Romeo, Flores obv Flores, Pikula, Chris Millar, and watching Evan Urza is fun beats as well. Really, I’ve read so many articles that it takes a lot to stand out. The above articles do, and the above writers (and videographer) are good times.
TK: So since you were always Johnny sorta casual, sorta competitive, what do you think of the newer fun formats like pauper, Type 4, and EDH?
JFR: While we were building our decks at GP – Wash to the D, an EDH tourney was in the process of seating, shuffling, bullsh**ting. I was stunned, but pretty damned impressed that it has achieved sanctioning. I played me some EDH back in the day (heh, like 3 years ago) and found it to be fun times – this is pretty much how it started for me: a bunch of guys with big decks throwing spells at whomever they want. I click the like button. Not sure what Type 4 is, although I probably should know and probably do but can’t really recall and am too lazy to Google it to appear informed!, and the little pauper experience I’ve had was quite enjoyable. So yeah, I’m all about the thumbs-up for alternate/casual formats. These are the guys that spend the *real* money, so give ’em a little tournament lovin’ (in addition to Kokusho!). If these events were run at PTQs the way drafts spill forth like so much wine, it’s likely I would have found myself dropping at 1-3 to wreck some heads on the side, instead of fighting desperately for that 3-5 record.
TK: I found myself surprised by how much I enjoyed sitting around after PTs and GPs playing EDH with the judges. Type 4 is hella fun, but doesn’t allow the personal customization that EDH decks allow, which just makes EDH better. Additionally, the whole format tickles a different part of your brain than normal sanctioned Magic. You are supposed to do cool things with your deck, and the groups that I have played with are pretty receptive when you do. It’s clearly struck a major chord, since almost everyone I know that loves Magic also shares some love for this version of highlander in particular. It’s also a format I am happy to play while drinking alcohol, which makes it great for unwinding.
JFR: So many people started with all the cards they owned shuffled into one big pile as their “deck,” and added every single new card they obtained afterwards, so this type of nutty-ass play may hearken us back to when times were simple, women were just those exotic creatures that we knew nothing about, and, well, I don’t know anyone who started like that, but I’m sure someone did, and that someone must really enjoy EDH… and the possibility of one day getting laid.
TK: From reading your Facebook, I know you have/had a play going this summer and you attended GP:DC. You also have been involved in the poker community at various times in the past. What’s on your agenda for the next year?
JFR: Yeah, and why won’t you be my Farmville neighbor or my Mafia Wars partner or Fishville second-mate!? I’ve found that for some reason I have about a 50% success rate on play submissions, which pretty much means that I suppose I’ll keep writing them and watching directors get their dumb heads into the mix and generally f*** things up. As for poker, I could be really good if I didn’t steam away my entire bankroll after some dumb s**t one-outs me, over and over and over again. Discipline and patience have never been my strong suits, so you’ll most likely never see me at the WSOP. I may play a little more Magic, since Pete and Ben were nice enough to leave me a couple thousand cards that had all these silly little signatures on them. Maybe I’ll even write a book about something interesting to me but few else, or maybe, if no one is looking, post on iTunes a hip hop album like nothing anyone has ever heard before. Any way sh** can be sliced, I’d say I’ll be fairly busy for the next year.
Et tu, Brute?
TK: Wait, I’ve read this play. Isn’t this where I take a knife and stab you, thus elevating Marc Antony to the emperorship and kicking off that whole Antony and Cleopatra romance too? The only problem is that they are cracking down on knife crime here in Britain, and the best I can do is the ceramic paring knife I have in my kitchen, not a very impressive knife for a task of such import, I must admit. I couldn’t even slice any of your skin off to wear it as a hat, Buffalo Bill style, which also means there will be no dining on your liver with a nice chianti and some fava beans. (I do, however, have a nice chianti.) Thus endeth my career as a failed actor.
JFR: C’mon, “chianti and fava beans” is the “that’s what she said” of uninspired cannibalism jokes. Is it too much to expect a little Trey Parker? Ahem.
TK: ↠Still a hack! Julius Caesar would have been more interesting if Shakespeare had worked the cannibal angle. The Romans ate everything, right?
JFR: Are you getting back into the fray, hardcore-style? Had enough of your illegal offshore enterprises and yearn for a life of safety, security, and $80 mythics? While Garfield permits us to wander away at times, severing the ties is something Uncle Dick ain’t tryin’ to hear…
TK: Ohhh, that’s what you meant. I’m still in the same line of work, we just migrated closer to grandparents for the kids, so now we lives in the YOUkay. With regard to Magic, I’m taking it slow. I’ve been drafting online some and even hit up FNM here in Bath (which is actually WNM, but whatever).
JFR: Is London really burning, and if so, do you live by the river? omg did I just ask that? P.S. Limited is teh suck. P.S.S.: Demonfire you!
TK: Er, Mana Clash you?
Obviously I love me some Constructed, but I’ll take my time and work up to that – there’s just too much information out there for me to digest in one fell swoop. Coming back to a fully-mature Standard environment when you know none of the cards and own even less is impossible. I do, however, have a couple of writing projects that will occupy some summertime slots here on StarCityGames.com (our little chat here is one, the other should drop sometime this fall hopefully). Those plus the new football season plus two youngins under two should be more than enough to keep me busy for a while.
JFR: Make sure to properly pimp said projects, for I am nothing if not a guy who likes to keep up with the formerly little people who become big, even if they like soccer, er, futbol.
TK: As for severing the ties, I’d have to go into the witness protection program to have any chance. 90% of the people I deal with at work are from Magic, as are most of the people I consider to be friends. Oh yeah, and the game is still great fun, especially if you aren’t taking it too seriously, so I got that going for me. Which is nice.
JFR: Indeed, the game is pretty f***ing awesome. When someone can invent Speed Magic, a la Rush Poker, a la No Waiting For You Ever, omg I’m there. Heck, I may be there anyway…
TK: Thanks a lot for your time and thoughts, John. Health to you and your family. Maybe I’ll see you ’round the way.
JFR: Time is a wormhole, and I’ll always have a hankering for the guy who edited that 107 page nearly unreadable article except that it spawned one of the most br0ken decks evar! Hugs, Chad Ellis style and LOVE, MIKE to you and yours and yinz, with all the Pittsburgh-cum-Maine-cum-Virginia fist bumps as appropriate.