AuthorKelly Digges

In his final article for StarCityGames, Kelly takes his customary look at the highs and lows of the new set. Time Spiral has got everybody talking… and Kelly will have everybody laughing.

As detailed in an article that I won’t link because it’ll depress you, I am now an editor for the Pro Tour coverage team. Although many people think that I got the position because I’m a filthy lucksack, it’s actually based entirely on my merits (i.e., Ted Knutson thinks I’m cool).

Three weeks ago I went to the Coldsnap prerelease. The next day my cat died. These are not, on the surface, related phenomena…

Kelly shares his thoughts on Magic’s newest set, and tells a poignant tale with a strong, affirmative message.

It was, charitably, a disaster. Though my venture at the Two-Headed Giant Limited State Championship ended in the Top 4, the Individual Limited Championship last Saturday saw my Two-Headed teammate David and I collectively going 2-7-1 over the course of the main event and two side drafts, with our friend Chris contributing an additional 2-3. I myself managed to play two rounds in the main event and another in a side draft without winning a single game.

The Tuesday before Dissension went on sale, a friend of mine told me that she bought a Fat Pack at Meijer. Naturally, hearing that the set was on sale early, I thought what anybody would think: “Oh, sweet. Here’s my chance to do a little consumer advocacy!”

Yes, that’s right… I decided to bust them.

Ah, it’s here at last! The last three guilds are unveiled, the Ravnica Block is completed in spectacular fashion, and there’s nary a Nephilim in sight. That’s right, it’s time for…

Dissention
Disension
Disention
Discension
Dissenshun
Dissension! Yeah!

Kelly continues his journey through scrubdom and improvement. Today, he brings us an excellent report on his adventures in the Land of the Two-Headed Giant… A fun, involving, and enlightening read.

I’ve read articles by various pros saying that when they travel all over the world to play Magic, it’s not really for the love of the game or the lure of exotic locales. It’s not even for the money, although I’m sure that helps. Above all, I’ve heard it said again and again, the reason they’re there is to spend time with the friends they’ve made on the Tour, people from all over the world who form a community.

It’s that time of year. The birds are singing, Magic is in the air, and guilds once again roam the earth. That’s right, it’s set review time! Like my review of Ravnica, this article won’t tell you how to pick Drafts or Draft picks or whatever it is you people do. It won’t help you out at the next Grand Prix. It’s never even heard of Block Constructed. No, we’re going to explore something else entirely. We’re going to talk about flavor, fun, and a curious obsession with bats.

People love rumor season. Why is Wizards doing this to its loyal customers? Why is it attempting to destroy a tremendous source of hype and excitement about upcoming sets? Why is it punishing someone who’s worked tirelessly to promote its products?

Why can’t I convince myself that this lawsuit is a bad thing?

Scrubdom forever, or a true start to a tourney career? The choice was mine, and I made it. I vowed to, yes, finally claw my way up, to make some kind of showing at a real tournament. I swore to emerge from my warm and snuggly prerelease cocoon and stretch my damp little wings in the cold and unforgiving world of PTQs, GPTs, MREs, etc. This article series will detail my antics and hi-jinks along the way, and, if you’re lucky, maybe even an honest-to-God caper.

It’s rare that a submissionist comes along who writes well enough to make us promote them after only a couple of articles, but that’s exactly what happened last week with Kelly Digges. Check out the funniest new writer on the site as he tackles the truth and the lies behind Coldsnap.

I worked in a gas station for nearly a year and the worst thing about the job, other than the bizarre hours, the monotony, the loneliness, the incompetent upper management, the paperwork, the monotony, scraping out the toilets, the fact that a chimp could have done my job, the fact that many of my co-workers couldn’t, cleaning the pumps, sweeping the lot, and the monotony – was the people. I mean, okay, the vast majority of the people I encountered there were perfectly nice and relatively normal, but it seemed like there was a substantially larger concentration of jerks there than in the world at large.

Rather like Magic tournaments.

It’s rare that we get an article this amusing, particularly by a submissionist. Therefore I demand that you read it right now, oh ye few readers who know enough to scroll all the way down the page to the Humor section. We’ll even form our own club and have T-Shirts that say something catchy like “I scrolled all the way down StarCityGames.com and all I got was this lousy humor article.” Anyway, enough rambling. I promise the article inside is much funnier.

Be warned: This article will not make you a better player. It will not tell you what to pick in Mirrodin Limited or how Block Constructed is going to shape up. It contains no theory, no playtesting, nothing useful in anyway. No, let’s let our inner casual players loose and talk about something else entirely. Let’s talk about flavor, world building, and why the hell that guy is standing so close to Triskelion in the first place.