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Why You All Are A Big Bunch Of Ridiculous Whiners

It is now the time to reveal The Secret History Of . This history brings up two very important points that you need to understand BEFORE I get into my rant about what a bunch of dithering nincompoops you Magic players can be, so listen closely: I understand that many of you may think that…

Maro-Ed With Children

An Homeopathetic ———————– Relax and unwind, light up that joss-stick, kick off those shoes, undo that constricting belt (steeeeeeaddy on there, old hoss!), reach out for that steaming mug of herbal tea (Bullrush & Nettle, or maybe Thorn & Potato), and be at one with yourself – feel those tired and drawn muscles melt. Comfortable?…

Don’t Forget The Kiddies!

It all started with a scene from the Simpsons. A huge elephant. The family outside, gawking. Marge: Homer, it looks like it could gore. Homer: Hehe, it does look like Al Gore. Bart: I think I’m going to call him Stampy. Little kids love those fatties. There aren’t any elephants in Stampy, anymore, though. Just…

A Bath, UK Tournament, In All Its Glory

Firstly I’d just like to thank all those readers who sent me deck lists and ideas for decks to play last Saturday. I liked some of them a lot especially one sent to me by Mikael Aaby-Ericsson and have started working on a R/G deck with big creatures, , and lots of burn. When I…

Emergency Casual… er… Thursdays!

Hi, everyone. I’m asking Omeed and Pete to post this so that readers who have been writing me asking about the Dojo can get what I consider to be my complete and true response to the matter. I regret that this cannot run on the Dojo itself. I know only a smidgeon more than the…

Sailing The Standard Seas With Dancing Pirates

There are two things I like to have in a good tournament deck: 1) multiple paths to victory, b) flexibility, c) and being really fun to play. Okay, that’s three things. This is why I will almost never play combo decks in tournament. Combo is (almost) never fun to play. It’s more like a mathematical…

Accelerated Decks: The New Type 2

Before I get into the meat of my article, there’s one more thing I wanted to add to the whole”Bad Cards” debate that’s been sparked recently about broken rares and unplayable rares. The DCI needs to do the right thing and emergency ban . There’s no question that the card is inherently broken, and spawns…

Rogue Green (?)

Greetings, all, and prepare to not only be entertained by my witty humor, but educated by my masterful deckwork {insert sitcom laughter} {wiping away tear}. No, seriously. Today’s article comes straight from the brain of StarCityCCG.com’s President, ! I can see him blushing now. 🙂 He suggested that his loyal servants… er, informative writers write…

Miss-ter Manners

If it were possible, just if it were, and you could watch yourself playing tournament Magic from the third person– let’s say a dynamic ESPN-ish camera, panning and zooming around you– how would you describe yourself, as a player? Really, think about it. What do you look like, sitting across from your opponent? Are you…

Sminty Fresh!

I’m at the local Wal-Mart with my family, picking up a new vacuum cleaner and dog treats. (Do you need to know this in a Magic article? Probably not, but I’m trying to pull you into my world for narrative purposes. And maybe, just maybe, a dirty carpet and hungry dog are the kinds of…

SNEEEEEP ATTACK

"Questions – Always Questions" You know, people often say to me: "HEY! YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY GARDEN?" …or sometimes: "PUT THAT DOWN! DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL THE POLICE?" …and occasionally they might enquire: "WHAT DO YOU EXPECT – A TOFFEE MEDAL?" The question, however, that I am asked to most…

The Final Destination

So, it’s Sunday afternoon. We’re getting ready to head back to Virginia. Unfortunately, our flight is at 10:30 pm, and it’s 4. We decide to hit a movie, then have dinner (not expecting much in the way of airplane food). After having been subjected to Beyond the Mat (not much of a wrestling fan, here….

Get A Life!

A few weeks ago, I was quite happy to actually have a date lined up for Saturday evening. Without going into the sordid details, let me just say that I usually average around one date every six months or so and anything that gets me out of the house on a Saturday night is generally…

Retasting Slivers

Just last play session, I hosted a night of Magic for our group focused on creature types. It’s a common variant to set up in groups – I’m sure most of you out there have tried it at one point or another. There are no hard and fast rules, but I would recommend the following…

The Tragedy Of Bad Rares, Part Deux

I have to tell you, it’s been great getting the feedback that I’ve gotten in response to my last post. Sometimes when you’re writing, you get disillusioned because you feel like you’re shouting into a great void, and no one listens. Reminds me of the line from the original Alien movie advertisements (gosh is that…