Hey, Carrot Juice. For some time now, I’ve been wanting to write an Actual Strategy Article about all the nuances involved in the seemingly simple act of playing a land, but motivating myself to do it has proved a daunting challenge. Let’s face it – the stuff I write is usually pretty much a joke. “Hey, guys, guess what…Fumiko the Lowblood is a card you may want to put in your deck.” Do observations like that really require any effort to make? C’mon now. Providing actual insights and inspirational revelations on the theoretical front may well be beyond the scope of my powers. Regardless, I take pride in the fact that my articles are considerably less of a joke than certain other people’s, and will continue to do so until I finally gasp my last pitiful breath. Next week I’m really gonna try to write the godforsaken land article though. If I manage to do it with a modicum of finesse, it will go down in the annals as one of the most important documents composed between the years of 2002 and 2007 by a hideous, psychotic recluse on the topic of adding mana to one’s pool.
This week, of course, I’ll be writing some sealed deck nonsense to help you (and me) prepare for the PTQ/GP season. Then, at the end of the article, I’ll unabashedly make fun of people for failing to come up with team names that meet my superficially high standard of excellence. It’s becoming one of my trademarks, meaning I probably won’t be doing it again. I’m not your circus seal, folks. I’m not selling my soul to “the man.”* I don’t want to write garbage and still be faux-celebrated like the washed-up has been musicians who still get Grammies solely on the basis of name recognition. What I’m doing is really not that clever or original anymore, folks. There’s a good chance I’ll be passing this torch, possibly to Gadiel.
Since I’m feeling pretty tapped on the creative front lately, and since I’m suffering a wicked bad case of writer’s block, let’s just look at the first (or technically, third) flipping card pool.
White
Cage of Hands
Call to Glory
Ethereal Haze
Indomitable Will
Kabuto Moth
Kami of Old Stone
Nagao, Bound By Honor
Quiet Purity
Genju of the Fields
Kami of False Hope
Oyobi, Who Split the Heavens
2 Takeno’s Cavalry
Waxmane Baku
Blue
Consuming Vortex
Jushi Apprentice
Lifted by Clouds
River Kaijin
Reach Through Mists
Soratami Cloudskater
Thoughtbind
Wandering Ones
Mistblade Shinobi
Phantom Wings
Quillmane Baku
Veil of Secrecy
Black
Bloodthirsty Ogre
Cruel Deceiver
Dance of Shadows
Devouring Greed
Midnight Covenant
Nezumi Cutthroat
Nezumi Ronin
Numai Outcast
Ragged Veins
Scuttling Death
Blessing of Leeches
Nezumi Shadow-Watcher
Psychic Spear
Skullsnatcher
Stir the Grave
Takenuma Bleeder
Three Tragedies
Red
Crushing Pain
Devouring Rage
Ember-Fist Zubera
Hearth Kami
Kami of Fire’s Roar
Pain Kami
Uncontrollable Anger
Yamabushi’s Flame
Blademane Baku
First Volley
Goblin Cohort
Kumano’s Blessing
Torrent of Stone
Green
Humble Budoka
Lure
Orbweaver Kumo
Order of the Sacred Bell
Orochi Ranger
Soilshaper
Thousand-legged Kami
Venerable Kumo
Wear Away
Body of Jukai
Gnarled Mass
Lifespinner
Matsu-Tribe Sniper
Nourishing Shoal
Roar of Jukai
Splinter
Vital Surge
Artifact
Hair-Strung Koto
Land
Shinka, the Bloodsoaked Keep
I have to admit that I’ve been spoiled by the Betrayers prerelease events; it was never a problem fielding a solid team of 22 in two colors when I had 90 cards to choose from. In some normal 75-card pools, one has the luxury of choosing between a solid, more consistent two-color build, or a more powerful, somewhat more unwieldy three-color version. From the looks of this motley crew, I’m probably going to be forced to splash this time around.
As with the decks from last time I did this, there’s one color that leaps out at me that I’ll certainly be playing; in this case, it’s White. There’s Oyobi, Kabuto Moth, and Nagao, any of which could be considered a bomb nowadays, depending on your definition. There are a handful of cards in Champions block limited that can literally win the game on their own or almost on their own, such as Umezawa’s Jitte, Meloku, or Fumiko. You can draw them when you’re winning, losing, or stalemated, and they’ll make all your problems go away; these are clearly bombs. There is a much larger subset of cards that will usually swing the game in your favor if you have an otherwise average draw; the aforementioned White cards all fall under this classification. If your opening grip is six lands and Nagao, you should probably go ahead and cash it in. If it’s four lands, Nagao, another creature, and a combat trick, you’re free to feel confident in your chances of winning that game. In addition to those three ridiculous cards, White also has Waxmane Baku, Cage of Hands, Genju of the Fields, and enough “passable” cards to flesh the color out. To sweeten the deal, not a one of these White cards has more than a single colored mana symbol in its casting cost. The only remaining task, really, is to figure out what other land type or types I’ll be playing alongside my Plains.
Blue seems not only weak, but also shallow in this card pool. The primary reason to consider Blue when building a sealed deck is evasion, usually in the form of fliers. In that department, this deck boasts an impressive one flier (the lone Soratami Cloudskater) backed by Phantom Wings. The Jushi Apprentice is solid, particularly in Sealed. As I mentioned last time, Sealed tends to focus less on tempo and more on card advantage; barring a rare ultra-aggressive start on your opponent’s part, Jushi Apprentice will let you slowly accumulate resources until you take control of the game. Once I get past those three and Consuming Vortex, I’m left with nothing but filler, “22nd-card” quality spells I’d only be happy to play if running them enabled me to play a Higure and an Uyo. Reach Through Mists splicing Veil of Secrecy to make my River Kaijin unblockable so I can hit you with Mistblade Shinobi? Please.
Black has some depth, but somehow, no removal other than Scuttling Death. Setting aside Midnight Covenant, Ragged Veins, Numai Outcast, and hopefully Nezumi Shadow-Watcher, I’m left with thirteen cards that could feasibly make my deck. The color seems like a last resort, though. There are only two spirits to feed the Devouring Greed, and even after adding in the White ones, I’m not likely to squeeze more than a Soul Feast out of it. There are a whopping five X-mana x/1s of various quality, including a Bloodthirsty Ogre and Skullsnatcher that become completely worthless if your opponent plays a Zubera. Like Blue, the Black also contains a lot of filler, like Stir the Grave, Blessing of Leeches, and Psychic Spear. Sure, the Spear is fine, but I’m not going out of my way to play it. Needless to say, it’s inferior to Distress, as it has a much greater chance of “missing” at any point in the game. I’ll come back to Black in a bit.
Unlike Black, the Red has a decent amount of removal. It also has the potential to let me curve out with its aggressive early drops, many of which are spirits to complement Oyobi, Waxmane Baku, and Devouring Rage. Unfortunately, these aggressive early drops lose a lot of their luster in the mid- and late-game; none of them are attractive topdecks when facing down anything larger than a Kami of Fire’s Roar. I personally wouldn’t like to play a deck with an ostensibly low power level, but it may be the best option. There are, after all, some support cards that can help force the pathetic beaters through.
Once again, Green fails to captivate me. It’s got the same characteristics as this pool’s black, namely almost all creatures plus a random finisher or two. It doesn’t even have a Vine Kami to complete the fabled Vine Kami/Thousand Legged Kami/Body of Jukai trifecta. I suppose it does have a few sizable bodies that warrant consideration, including one that grants the possibility of being able to pull Oyobi into play from your deck. To be honest, before I started writing I had completely dismissed the Green; at this juncture, I’m willing to give it another look.
I guess I’ll start by pairing the playable Green cards with the White ones to see what I end up with.
Kami of False Hope
Soilshaper
Orochi Ranger
Humble Budoka
Matsu-Tribe Sniper
Kabuto Moth
Waxmane Baku
Gnarled Mass
Kami of Old Stone
Nagao, Bound by Honor
Order of the Sacred Bell
Lifespinner
Venerable Kumo
Oyobi, Who Split the Heavens
Genju of the Fields
Indomitable Will
Wear Away
Cage of Hands
Roar of Jukai
Lure
Green’s two-drops fill a noticeable void in White’s curve, and its larger men give the deck some staying power, even if they’ll get outclassed against many other Green mages. Since that’s only 20 cards, there’s work to be done. The best possibility for a splash in this deck would be Red, but looking at some of the cards in the deck, I probably won’t just be adding Yamabushi’s Flame and Pain Kami and calling it a day.
There are eleven spirits and arcane spells, which is satisfactory for the Baku but probably a little lacking when considering the Soilshaper. Orochi Ranger and Humble Budoka aren’t the best two-drops in the world, but they get the job done. Sure, Budoka is inferior to Loam Dweller (a card I’m always happy to maindeck)…but is it really that much worse, when you stop to think about it? I probably stated this in an article at some point, but I’m not too concerned since it bears repeating. There is not a large power discrepancy between many of the creatures in this format. Kitsune Healer, Kami of Old Stone, and Harsh Deceiver are, for all intents and purposes, the same card. If you champion one of these while shunning the other, you’re missing the point. Each of these is “Random Defensive Playable That Fills Out Your Curve, If Necessary.” Taken a step further, these are all noticeably worse than Moonlit Strider. Nevertheless, they’re not so much worse that they can’t be used as substitute Moonlit Striders in a pinch. The Strider may or may not be better than a Split-Tail Miko for a particular draft deck, but if you already have a Harsh Deceiver and a few other four-drops, you should certainly take the Miko.
Someone who evidently shares this view is Gerard Fabiano. Aaron Hauptmann relayed to me that Gerard told Matt Schmaltz that creatures were incidental when constructing a sealed deck; the spells are the paramount consideration. ‘Course, Gerard didn’t use the words “incidental” and “paramount,” but that’s beside the point. He did go as far as to say that if he had a choice of two Pull Unders or Nagao as the final consideration between opting for Black or White, he’d end up running Black. Hopefully this was just an overstatement, as you’d actually have to be out of your mind to think that Pull Unders were more important to Limited success than Nagao, but the message behind the hyperbolic example is sound. That said, Hauptmann went on to tell me that Schmaltz would go on to open a PTQ card pool with two Pull Unders and a Nagao, and leave Nagao sitting on the bench.**
I’m still a little skeptical about maindecking Wear Away; I still think I’d prefer it as an “excellent sideboard card.” Sure, every opponent probably has one target for it, but its reactive nature becomes a limiting factor. Since it can only handle a narrow subset of threats, unless the opponent has at least two good targets for it, there’s a decent chance it will sit dead in your hand. Don’t go all “But What If They Have A Jitte“-crazy on me now. Even if you see a Jitte game one, bringing in the Wear Away really won’t help that much. If you draw the Wear Away but they don’t draw the Jitte, you’ll probably end up tossing it at the first Indomitable Will you see to circumvent the possibility of the Wear being a de facto mulligan. Then, they may draw the Jitte later and win with it. You also might never see the Wear Away, or you might not get to use it until the Jitte already got charged once and killed two of your guys. I’m not saying not to board in the Wear Away to give yourself some hope. I’m just saying it’s not a panacea when facing down that miserable equipment card.
Adding in all the Red removal cards and taking out a few stinkers leaves us with:
Kami of False Hope
Soilshaper
Orochi Ranger
Humble Budoka
Matsu-Tribe Sniper
Kabuto Moth
Waxmane Baku
Gnarled Mass
Pain Kami
Kami of Old Stone
Nagao, Bound by Honor
Order of the Sacred Bell
Lifespinner
Venerable Kumo
Oyobi, Who Split the Heavens
Genju of the Fields
Indomitable Will
First Volley
Cage of Hands
Lure
Yamabushi’s Flame
Torrent of Stone
7 Plains
7 Forest
3 Mountain
1 Shinka, the Bloodsoaked Keep
I’m surprised to note that this is actually a nice-looking deck, possibly even better than the one I initially came up with. It has a nice curve of solid creatures, and the mana isn’t awful since Gnarled Mass and Lure are the only double-colored spells in the whole deck. There’s a trick, plenty of removal, and a finisher. Soilshaper gets better with the addition of the Red, since the instant arcanes can create surprise blockers, and since there’s a net gain of one spirit/arcane. Even Venerable Kumo*** is better than average in this deck, as it bolsters the somewhat lackluster flying defenses and can Soulshift back some powerful cards.
I was pretty sure about 21 of the cards, but there’s certainly room for debate about the 22nd. The two near-misses in this deck were Kami of Fire’s Roar and Roar of Jukai. Roar of Jukai is a great combat trick, decimating opponents who double-block and allowing your 2/2s to attack into 3/3s or finish off that irritating River Kaijin. Unfortunately, I needed to cut a spell from the deck, and Roar was the weakest link. I’m not going to cut removal for it (except maybe First Volley), and Indomitable Will is superior because it provides a perpetual bonus. The one card it could conceivably replace is Lure. Each card breaks through a stalemate, but each has its own distinct merits. Roar of Jukai is arcane and only has G in the casting cost, while Lure can be a powerful finisher or, occasionally, a mock Abyss when enchanting a large creature in the early game.
Kami of Fire’s Roar has a powerful ability that most people underestimated for about a month after the release of Champions, but it has two strikes against it. First, it’s in the splash color. If I were to play it, I’d be taking out one of the other Red cards to prevent my deck from spiraling into a “Solid Three”-color deck. That’s not as bad as it seems, since First Volley is mediocre compared to a lot of removal. It does kill Nezumi Cutthroat, many different Blue fliers, and other problem cards like Kiku or Split-Tail Miko, so it has an important function in the deck, and I’m hesitant to cut it. The Fire’s Roar’s other strike is its casting cost; in the four-slot, we already have one far superior card, two that are about the same value, and one that’s worse but in one of the main colors. A possible remedy is to cut Kami of Old Stone and First Volley for Kami of Fire’s Roar and Roar of Jukai.
Unless your deck’s build is fairly intuitive (i.e. you have 25 ridiculous Red and Black cards featuring Ink-Eyes, Kokusho, Fumiko, and Kumano), take the time to consider several color combinations. Before I arrived at G/W/r, I looked at a possible W/R/b deck. For the sake of comparison, here’s what I thought the optimal build looked like when I had dismissed Green:
Kami of False Hope
Goblin Cohort
Blademane Baku
Ember-Fist Zubera
Hearth Kami
Nezumi Cutthroat
Waxmane Baku
Kabuto Moth
Pain Kami
Takenuma Bleeder
Nagao, Bound by Honor
Kami of Old Stone
Kami of Fire’s Roar
Scuttling Death
Oyobi, Who Split the Heavens
Genju of the Fields
Indomitable Will
First Volley
Cage of Hands
Yamabushi’s Flame
Torrent of Stone
Devouring Greed
6 Mountain
1 Shinka
7 Plains
4 Swamp
The last variable I toyed with was whether to play 4 Swamps and Devouring Greed or 3 Swamps, an extra Mountain, and Devouring Rage. To (possibly) somewhat misuse the term as defined by Kyle Boddy, Devouring Greed gives the deck an inevitability factor that Rage doesn’t provide. To win with Rage, you need an unblocked creature and the proper number of spirits to fuel it, and you need to be sure the creature won’t succumb to instant-speed removal or bounce, plus you have to hope your opponent doesn’t have damage prevention, Kami of False Hope, or the like. To win with Greed, you just need the proper number of Spirits. It’s much harder for an opponent to weasel his way out of a potentially lethal Greed than a potentially lethal Rage. You all probably thought Greed was better than Rage anyway. I was just trying to justify splashing a double-Black spell, which seems fine since Greed is a “late-game card.” The fourth Swamp gives a better shot at a turn 2 fear rat, and since Greed is the only card with two colored mana in its cost, going down to seven Red sources shouldn’t be worrisome.
I’m not sure if there’s merit to breaking it down this far, but I will now compare the green build to the Black build card by card. Removing all the shared cards leaves me with:
Soilshaper, Orochi Ranger, Humble Budoka, Matsu-Tribe Sniper, Gnarled Mass, Order of the Sacred Bell, Lifespinner, Venerable Kumo, Lure
vs.
Goblin Cohort, Blademane Baku, Ember-Fist Zubera, Hearth Kami, Nezumi Cutthroat, Takenuma Bleeder, Kami of Fire’s Roar, Scuttling Death, Devouring Greed
Hm. These “differences” look strikingly similar. Looking at my decks, Goblin Cohort, Blademane Baku, Hearth Kami, and Cutthroat compare evenly with Humble Budoka, Soilshaper, Orochi Ranger, and Matsu-Tribe Sniper. Gnarled Mass, Order, and Lifespinner approximate Bleeder, Fire’s Roar, and Scuttlesworth. This leaves as the most relevant variables Lure and Venerable Kumo vs. Ember-Fist Zubera and Devouring Greed. The decks seem close to identical, for all intents and purposes.
To take it a step further, I’ll compare my G/W/r to Craig Stevenson W/B/r, as those decks are exactly the same except for the Green and Black cards. Before examining the similarities and differences, I’ll swap Dance of Shadows in for Stir the Grave. There aren’t enough spirits to play Devouring Greed, but I would really want a “finisher” in a deck with so many random x/1s without evasion. Since there are two very strong Stir targets (Scuttling Death and Pain Kami), I would also consider taking out Three Tragedies for Dance. Taking out Stir gives me:
Soilshaper, Orochi Ranger, Humble Budoka, Matsu-Tribe Sniper, Gnarled Mass, Order of the Sacred Bell, Lifespinner, Venerable Kumo, Lure
vs.
Cruel Deceiver, Nezumi Cutthroat, Skullsnatcher, Nezumi Ronin, Bloodthirsty Ogre, Takenuma Bleeder, Scuttling Death, Three Tragedies, Dance of Shadows
Skullsnatcher, Cruel Deceiver, and Nezumi Cutthroat alongside Orochi Ranger, Humble Budoka, and Matsu-Tribe Sniper looks like a wash, more or less. Gnarled Mass, Order of the Sacred Bell, and Lifespinner cancel out Takenuma Bleeder, Scuttling Death, and Nezumi Ronin. Dance of Shadows and Lure provide the same function. This leaves me asking whether I’d play Soilshaper and Venerable Kumo or Bloodthirsty Ogre and Three Tragedies.
In the end, I think I would stick with the Green build. Chambers says he certainly prefers my Green deck to my deck with Black, as he doesn’t like splashing a few random beaters off four Swamps. The creature quality is slightly higher in the G/W/r than the B/W/r, and there’s a possibility of searching out Oyobi. I’m not sure whether the differences between the three possible decks are appreciable. Is one of these clearly the best?
Here’s the second (fourth) sealed pool again:
White
Devoted Retainer
Kami of the Painted Road
Kitsune Blademaster
Kitsune Diviner
Reciprocate
Samurai of the Pale Curtain
Terashi’s Cry
Vigilance
Heart of Light
Moonlit Strider
Opal Eye, Konda’s Yojimbo
Terashi’s Grasp
Waxmane Baku
Blue
Aura of Dominion
Consuming Vortex
Counsel of the Soratami
Cut the Tethers
Floating-Dream Zubera
Hisoka, Minamo Sensei
Hisoka’s Defiance
Peer Through Depths
Petals of Insight
Student of Elements
Teller of Tales
Wandering Ones
Heed the Mists
Ribbons of the Reikai
Teardrop Kami
Toils of Night and Day
Veil of Secrecy
Black
Distress
Gibbering Kami
Gutwrencher Oni
Horobi, Death’s Wail
Midnight Covenant
Rend Spirit
Waking Nightmare
Blessing of Leeches
Call for Blood
2 Horobi’s Whisper
Mark of the Oni
Psychic Spear
Red
Akki Avalanchers
Desperate Ritual
Devouring Rage
Hearth Kami
Kami of Fire’s Roar
Sokenzan Bruiser
Stone Rain
Unnatural Speed
Akki Blizzard-Herder
Cunning Bandit
Frostling
Goblin Cohort
Ire of Kaminari
Shinka Gatekeeper
Green
Joyous Respite
Jukai Messenger
Kodama’s Reach
Orbweaver Kumo
Order of the Sacred Bell
Sakura-Tribe Elder
Vine Kami
Body of Jukai
Enshrined Memories
Harbringer of Spring
Sakura-Tribe Springcaller
Sosuke’s Summons
Traproot Kami
Vital Surge
Artifact
Junkyo Bell
Reito Lantern
Sensei’s Divining Top
Shuriken
That is one ugly sealed deck. Blue is the deepest color, but it’s absolutely filled to the brim with garbage. Each color looks to have about eight playables on average. I may have to bite the bullet and run one of my least favorite cards in Limited, Sensei’s Divining Top, just to make ends meet.
The White, as seems to be a common motif in Champions sealed, is solid. There’s a Baku, a Blademaster, a Reciprocate, a bomb in the form of Opal-Eye, some decent cards like Painted Road, and the lethal Super Happy Fun Combo of Samurai of the Pale Curtain and Moonlit Strider. Whenever I play Samurai of the Pale Curtain in W/B, I find myself praying that the opponent will kill it so my Soulshift engine will turn back on. It’s foolish to keep a card that powerful in the sideboard, though. For Baku to live up to its potential, the other color or colors will need to have quite a few spirits and arcanes, as White has virtually none.
Look how awful Blue is. There’s Teller of Tales, Consuming Vortex, and little else. Eight of the remaining fifteen cards are completely unplayable, and that’s being generous in regards to hitters like Teardrop Kami and Toils of Night and Day. The only conceivable use for it is to splash Petals and maybe Vortex.
There’s some removal in Black this time, and trying to break Horobi may be the key to assembling something playable out of this pile. Unfortunately (which is becoming my favorite adverb when discussing sealed decks), there aren’t very many Black cards. I’m having visions of the 6/6/6 mana base already.
Red has seven playables, and that’s if you like Goblin Cohort and maindeck Sokenzan Bruiser. The only “playable” that’s that impressive is the double-colored Cunning Bandit, so I don’t imagine I’ll be playing Mountains in this deck.
…and the Green sucks too. Wonderful. Looking at the playables, we have Kodama’s Reach, Order of the Sacred Bell, Sakura-Tribe Elder, um, Vine Kami, Enshrined Memories, Sakura-Tribe Springcaller, Harbinger of Spring (I guess), and Sosuke’s Summons, with the ugly possibility of boarding Big Traps in against other Green mages.
Oh, and there’s a Shuriken, but not a Ninja to be found. What a kick in the face.
As I suspected, I’ll be looking to break Horobi if I want to win a single solitary game. There’s a decent chance I’ll have to squeeze more utility out of the Red or the Blue than I ever dreamed possible in order to field a team of 22. I briefly considered playing the Divining Top/Green shufflers combo, but there simply weren’t enough Green cards to make it work. I may still have to play the God-awful Top. I suppose I’ll start by putting in every last remotely playable Black and White card into the tentative deck.
Devoted Retainer
Kitsune Diviner
Samurai of the Pale Curtain
Kitsune Blademaster
Waxmane Baku
Opal-Eye, Konda’s Yojimbo
Moonlit Strider
Gibbering Kami
Horobi, Death’s Wail
Gutwrencher Oni
Kami of the Painted Road
Reciprocate
Psychic Spear
Distress
Heart of Light
Rend Spirit
Waking Nightmare
2 Horobi’s Whisper
Blessing of Leeches (trying to choke back the vomit here)
Terashi’s Cry (Horobi, remember? I still hope it doesn’t come to this).
That adds up to twenty. Nice Blessing of Leeches. Nice Heart of Light. Nice eleven creatures. Nice discard spells. NICE TERASHI’S CRY. I’ll probably be emulating Terashi if I’m unfortunate enough to open this sealed deck. Next, look at those beautiful mana symbols, then remember that I don’t even get to play a combination of eighteen Swamps and Plains. I have to squeeze some Mountains or Islands in there too. If I get card pool #3 at Grand Prix: Detroit, I’ll be content. If I get this one, I’m pretty sure seppuku is the only option.
When determining the splash color, I’ll be picking one that hopefully nets me three more creatures. I’ll try to avoid anything that has double mana symbols in its casting cost if at all possible. However, I hear tell that the draft deck that won Matt Schmaltz his PTQ featured Befoul, Teller of Tales, and Hanabi Blast, so maybe that’s how you win matches nowadays. Craig’s deck looks pretty awful and probably won’t be able to win a match. It’s not like he could help it though; my deck can’t possibly win either. I know there are a lot of self-determinists out there who think there’s always a way out, and if you lose you did something wrong, whether it was during deck construction, deciding on whether to mulligan, actual game play, or whatever. These people are wrong. You want a way out of this one? Get perfect land draws against one or two opponents and mana screw the rest. Barring that, your “out” is to try again next week. Decks like this are the reason they have multiple PTQs, friends. Here’s my compost heap:
Devoted Retainer
Kitsune Diviner
Frostling
Samurai of the Pale Curtain
Waxmane Baku
Kitsune Blademaster
Opal-Eye, Konda’s Yojimbo
Moonlit Strider
Gibbering Kami
Horobi, Death’s Wail
Kami of Fire’s Roar
Kami of the Painted Road
Gutwrencher Oni
Sokenzan Bruiser
Sensei’s Divining Top
Reciprocate
Distress
Waking Nightmare
Rend Spirit
2 Horobi’s Whisper
Terashi’s Cry
For those of you who haven’t honed your skills to suspend disbelief, you’re going to have to bear with me for a few paragraphs.
I chose to splash the Red since it provided three creatures with a single colored mana in their cost. Frostling probably won’t be a one-drop in this deck; it’s more likely to be a mid- or late-game removal spell. Like Kami of Fire’s Roar, it combines well with Horobi, Only Chance. The Sokenzan Bruiser is ordinarily a bit of a “hope-they’re-playing-Mountain” gambit, but my options were severely limited. All things considered, I could do worse than a five-mana 3/3…particularly one that meets the upkeep requirements of my Demon. Apparently, I’m still a sheer genius.
Now allow me to “rap” with you whippersnappers about the mana base for a moment. There are more White cards than Black, and the White cards are more relevant to the early game, but more than half the Black cards have BB in their costs. Hence, I think giving the nod to Swamps is the only way to go. There are still seven Plains, which should still be (hopefully) enough to get one by the all-important third turn. I’d rather not splash three cards off three of the appropriate lands, but eight Swamps and seven Plains seem like the bare minimum.
Normally, if I played a Divining Top in Limited, I’d expect my opponent to heave a sigh of relief. With this deck, well… that will still be a deserved response, albeit for a different reason. The Top was the only way to try to make this deck and its janky mana base work. Your only prayer may well be to draw this in your opening hand and hope the lands you need are in your top three or four cards.
Uses for Terashi’s Cry: Naturally, the Cry is in the deck to go with Horobi. It’s like playing Pious Kitsune to go with your 8.5 Tails, although Pious Kitsune stands reasonably well on its own since it’s a creature. Is it really that much worse than Devoted Retainer? Block the Cruel Deceiver, gain your life, and get over it. Back to the Cry, though. There are a lot of blatantly obvious interactions that I will now list in an effort to belabor the point (whatever point that may be) and, in so doing, draw extra attention to the fact that I, of sound mind and body (as if), am advocating playing Terashi’s Cry.
1) The aforementioned Horobi thing. It’s Plague Wind etc. Heaven help me if they have a Kabuto Moth or Split-Tail Miko at any point in the game.
2) It puts a counter on Waxmane Baku. Normally, the Cry only taps creatures for one turn; now it taps one of them for two for the low price of an additional mana.
3) Discard it to Gutwrencher Oni. I imagine this will be the most likely scenario, assuming I ever manage to get the 5/4 monster into play.
4) Splice Horobi’s Whisper onto it. After turns of discarding, the bin will be swollen with goodies that will help me abuse the Black common.
5) With Kami of Fire’s Roar, like with Waxmane Baku, it makes sure four things can’t block instead of the usual three. Bonus.
6) Tap all their creatures of one color, then give Kami of the Painted Road protection from the other color. Take your three like a man.
7) Keep it three cards from the top of the deck with Divining Top. Until you draw Horobi, that is. Oh, that is.
Despite all the mocking, I believe this is the optimal build, or at least close. Your chances do hinge on remarkable mana draws on your part and your opponent’s inability to deal with Horobi. I would like to hear people’s opinions about this one in the forums, but I won’t hold my breath.
Before I sign off, I’ll give you some of the highlights of Pro Tour: Atlanta other than, of course, Adam Chambers success.
1. Money Drafting with the Swedes
This was one of my lifelong dreams. I’m not exactly sure when my fascination with Sweden started, but I’m hopelessly hooked now. At first, it was sort of a joke about Anton Jonsson hair in 2001-2002 (see hair and hair for details). Then I started talking to Anton a little, and he was pretty cool in addition to being the best drafter alive. Then, I started talking to Thomas Rosholm and Johan Sadeghpour. By the time I found out Blindside was from Sweden, I was sold. Call me a Euro-barn if you will, but I just think your average Swede is way cooler than your average American, just like your average black person is way cooler than your average white person. Excluding Eminem of course. He’s the coolest, since he doesn’t let the man tell him what he can and can’t say.
Anyway, the teams were Anton Jonsson, Johan Sadeghpour, and myself against Raphael Levy, Alexandre Peset (I think), and some other French guy, presumably Mathieu Jean-Baptiste. I figure I’m about equally as likely to in a million years lose with Anton Jonsson on my team as I am to win with Josh Ravitz on my team. Anton, if you’re still playing this time next year, might I suggest teaming with myself and a Mr. John Pelcak. He doesn’t cheat. Kai’s lying.
We all went 2-1, losing to Levy’s good deck and better draws while defeating the other two. Sadeg pretty much won the whole draft for us by putting their third dude on tilt with the Kumano the dude passed him. My favorite game of the weekend was against that guy. By the fourth turn, I had very little out, but he had played several creatures including Kami of the Waning Moon and Horobi, Death’s Wail. I played a Kami of Fire’s Roar with a Gnarled and a Matsu-Tribe Decoy in my hand. I figured he would kill the Fire’s Roar with the Waning Moon trigger, so I kept the more potent anti-Horobi card in my hand. On the off chance he didn’t have something for the Roaring Fire, I would gun down Horobi with the Gnarled Mass. Predictably, he had a Spirit, namely a Hundred-Talon Kami, and he gunned down the Fire’s Roar then hit me for five in the air. Next turn, I considered my options. I had an Orochi Ranger to play; that much was given. My decision was whether to hold the Decoy for next turn, when I would be sure its ability could kill Horobi before it died, or whether to get “greedy,” play it right away, and get to kill two of his guys if he had nothing. I figured the latter was my only shot of winning the game, so I tossed it on out there.
On his turn, he simply attacked me down to 5, played Nagao, and passed the turn. I untapped, and decided to shoot his Hundred-Talon Kami to prevent Soulshift and his Waning Moon to keep him from abusing Horobi. He attacked me with Nagao, who I was forced to chump, and Horobi, who took me to 1. On my turn, I killed Nagao and Horobi. He drew nothing of relevance for a few turns, while I drew an Earthshaker and went to town with it and my Gnarled Mass. I take pride in those rare games that I win that I don’t think a lot of other people would have won. I’m pretty haughty that way. The right path may seem straightforward now, but there were several important decisions to make. I knew I couldn’t let the country down, though.
Since I finally got to draft with Anton, the top two people on my list of hopeful draft teammates are Masahiko Morita and, more importantly, Murray “the Mauler” Evans, with whom I couldn’t lose and couldn’t win, respectively.
2. Nassif Sympathizing with Chambers
After the Pro Tour, Chambers wasn’t faring so well in money drafts. I was accustomed to this phenomenon; after San Diego, for instance, I was incapable of dealing a point of damage. I tossed a game against Ken Ho en route to losing the match, then had a seemingly imminent victory stolen from me by Gary Talim. At this point I was so depressed that I left the site. When I stopped being a little four-year-old and returned to the site, I found that my teammates had recruited Mike Linn to play in my place. He was up a game and winning the second, but as much as I would have liked him to just finish the match, I knew it was my duty. I tagged back in, drew all lands for the rest of that game, and got crushed the third. My teammates mustered a 5-1 between them, but I was despondent and just split my winnings between them.
Apparently, Gabriel Nassif knew about the phenomenon as well and was feeling its effects. As he said to Chambers, “Yeah, you can’t win money drafts after winning the PT. I played in two money drafts and didn’t win at all.” He then considered what he said and realized, “Well I did win that one I guess. Or hm, actually, I won them both.”
Nice commiserating, Gab. Just too masterful for your own good. He wasn’t trying to be arrogant; he actually forgot that he had won his drafts until after he had started talking about them.
3. Playing Against the World Champ
I am not impressed by Julien Nuijten. Well, okay, I’m pretty impressed. He’s very skilled, especially for his age. I’m certainly not intimidated, though. Chambers, Zach Parker, and I money drafted against Hoaen, Nuijten, and Kamiel Cornelissen, and I opened a Meloku in pack one. I started taunting the Champ, who’s learned to be a good sport about such things, about how I was going to beat him when I played him by drawing whatever my first pick was both games, and then he was going to whine about it.
When I played him, I drew Meloku for the win both games.
Then he whined about it.
It’s not much, but it made my weekend.
Other Highlights:
-Gomersall saying “banonner”
-Taka meeting Hoaen and acting all giggly and schoolgirlish
-Geddes talking about “the Fix”
-Geddes in general
-hanging out, if only briefly, with the Sullivan family
-winning a single match in the PT itself ohwaitthatdidnthappen
Next week, I’ll probably be too depressed to write anything, but if I’m not, I’ll finally teach you how to play a land. Don’t play any lands until then, since you’re probably doing it all wrong.
Tim Aten
1981-2005
Wore Green on St. Patrick’s Day but Not on Purpose
Mortal Enemy of Peppermint von Corduroy
Running Out of Stuff to Say
HiKiKomoRinGo on MODO
Daragwin on AIM
[email protected]
“Take a deeper breath. It’s alright.”
And make sure to say hi to Chris Keller on Modo. It’s the brother of Thomas “Thunder” Keller, and he’s always looking to chat about poker.
Post Sign-off Bonus: barhar
Due to overwhelming apathy and stringent deadlines, I was unable to complete the “making fun of team names I’m so cool” subsection of the article. If I don’t have it for you next week, I promise to kill myself. All I have for now are my illustrious top five songs of the week. Barhar.
1. Blink 182 “Violence”
2. Louis XIV “Finding Out True Love Is Blind”
3. Garbage “Why Do You Love Me”
4. Hot Hot Heat “Goodnight, Goodnight”
5. No Address “When I’m Gone”
*Any more than I already have. Not today, anyway.
**He won that PTQ.
***That one was for you, Chambers.