When we last left our hero, he was roaming North America, in search of points, both in the Pro and SCG Open variety. A trip to Charlotte by way of Atlanta didn’t bode well, and while I’d like to say that all it did was further invigorate me, that wouldn’t be the slightest bit true.
Ben Hayes was supposed to accompany me and Calosso back to Virginia, but he decided to go home to New York in the end. I was excited to travel with my new friend, so it was a little disappointing, but it could’ve been worse. Over the years, I’ve learned that being in close proximity with someone for large periods of time can wear on you, or at least me.
Spending some time apart meant that when I saw him in Boston and Nashville, I wouldn’t be sick of it, even if that wasn’t really possible due to how chill of a dude Ben is. Over time, I’ve learned to not overdo it, just to be safe.
I knew that I’d probably just end up playing U/B again, and I had some ideas. Rather than jam matches on Magic Online like I’d normally do, I ended up drafting a lot. Calosso, who was housing me for the week, didn’t quite understand the format yet, but that was okay. Within a couple days he was drafting decks very similar to my own, and his win rate eventually eclipsed mine.
Apparently, Calosso was sick of not testing. He organized a playtesting session with three girls he knew from his church group. He was really excited to try out his new Khalni Hydra deck. One morning, he woke me up at the crack of noon, eager to get to work. First things first though, we needed to get to the 7-11 and purchase a fresh pack of sleeves for his Hydra deck. I say “we” because Calosso lost his DCI card, so he needed me to buy the sleeves for him. Apparently 7-11 doesn’t accept green cards.
The girls seemed nice enough, and I socialized for a minute or two, but I’d never played the Khalni Hydra deck before while Calosso made it abundantly clear he already practiced a fair bit with it. That, combined with the fact that five makes for an awkward number for playtesting, meant that soon I was back inside and drafting again.
Eventually, the girls went home, but Calosso had scheduled a private playtesting session with one of them. Three made an awkward number yet again, so I stayed home. I was by myself, but you’re never truly alone when there’s MTGO. Calosso failed to inform me that one of the girls thought that she could use my expertise to tune her own version of the Khalni Hydra brew, and instead, chose to playtest with her later in my place.
In the end, I didn’t get to playtest much and haven’t playtested much lately in all honesty. Instead, I focused on honing my draft skills that I may or may not get to put into practice on the big stage.
The next day, we drafted in real life with a group of local ringers, including storeowner, Tom Chillemi. Tom, Calosso, and another local were on the same team. I moved into poison after I first picked True Conviction, as most of the people in the draft were talking about how they hated it. In my first game, I was dead on board, but calmly passed the turn, and didn’t die.
I was rewarded by peeling Sylvok Replica for his Golem Artisan and regained control. Tom couldn’t stand watching and had to get up and leave. At the end of the night, I felt pretty good, as I won both drafts.
Soon enough, the day to leave had come, and the two of us set out for New York to pick up Ben Hayes and Asher Hecht. Sadly, Ben had an appointment with his stylist that he couldn’t miss, but fortunately, we were able to recruit Nick Spagnolo instead. Ben looks good with his lovely locks gone, but I can’t help but think this is the biggest tragedy in MTG’s history other than when Adam Yurchick did the same. Sadly, it looked like Yurchick had destroyed all evidence, until I found
this
picture of him.
I wanted to leave as early as reasonably possible on Friday. We didn’t get into Charlotte until late because we were stupid enough to leave Atlanta at 8 pm. I guess people have things to do or something. Calosso and I were obviously free, especially after Calosso took the week off school in order to playtest. That man is very dedicated. Anyway, we didn’t get to sleep in Charlotte until 3am, and I ended up getting sick. I wanted to avoid that.
Still, we had to pick up Nick and Asher in New York, and Asher couldn’t leave until 5:30 pm. We were planning on leaving at noon, but that would put us in NYC an hour or so early. We decided to leave a little later in order to accommodate Asher, but that ended up being disastrous.
Even now, I’m not entirely sure how we ended up getting to New York at 8 pm, but I assume it was due to Calosso’s glacial driving speed. I tried to explain to him that the border patrol doesn’t monitor the New Jersey Parkway, but he maintained that going 60 MPH was “playing tight.” We were late, but fashionably late, rocking scarves that Calosso got as a gift from Stacy Kim. Scarves are simply +EV. [Longtime Yellowhat and Japanese tech. – Cardgame]
We arrived in lovely Boxborough a little before midnight, but thankfully the site hotel was booked. The last time I was at that Holiday Inn, they had
E. coli
in their water, so none of the gamers staying there were allowed to shower. It was just a delight.
Our hotel, also a Holiday Inn, was ten miles from the site, which meant we had to get up at 7 am in order to play around Calosso’s overcautious driving habits. I suppose there’s something to be said for getting to an event in one piece, but c’mon man, be aggressive once in a while. We gots places to be.
Good Man Lewis Laskin gave Nick Spagnolo a ring once we got in, as those two can hardly stand to be away from each other for more than a minute. I could see why once they were in the same room though, as both were gushing over how amazing Glimmerpoint Stag is (especially when you’re targeting Trinket Mage!) and constantly giggling like schoolgirls.
The only problem with Lewis was that his entourage for the weekend consisted of StarCityGames.com Open Series Player of the Year Alex Bertoncini and some other people that we didn’t know. I don’t mind Alex, and rather like him at points, but if he came over, especially with lackeys in tow (clearly just trying to leech some knowledge off Alex), I didn’t foresee us getting to bed anytime soon.
Still, Lewis is the actual stone-blade, plus he owns Legacy cards, which Calosso and I needed. We needed to invite him to stay. I can only imagine how his compadres felt when he snap-agreed to stay with us when asked. Nick yelled, “Shotgun sleeping in Lewis’ bed!” Lewis replied in a singsong voice, “Obvsies!” Then they giggled again and started a pillow fight.
Meanwhile, Alex and company sulked out of the room, heads down.
It was well past 3 am by the time Alex left, and the pillow fight settled down, and this tournament was looking to be a repeat of Charlotte. I figured at the very least, I could get rested up the next day, which I’d need if I were going to play Legacy. Not playing the week before was surely a mistake.
Calosso and I were playing U/B, as was Jason Ford, who had to get a second mortgage on his rice farm in order to buy a plane ticket. Times were tough, and he needed to spike something big. When I asked him before the tournaments if he regretted it, he solemnly replied, “No gambol, no future…”
Nick was playing U/B, as I somehow managed to stop him from playing his BFF’s new brew. Lewis’ deck included not only multiple Glimmerpoint Stags but also five one-of Angels.
On the other end of the spectrum was Asher Hecht, possibly one of the most underrated gamers I’ve ever seen. He was playing the Strobe Red list that Calosso tanked with at States. When he split ten games with Alex in playtesting against his R/U/G deck, he seemed down about his chances.
“That deck is going to be huge after Dan Jordan showed the world how good MJ’s darling could be in the right hands. How am I going to win the tournament if I can barely manage a 50/50 against that deck?”
I tried to console him, informing him that Alex was the Player of the
Year.
Every other opponent would certainly play worse than Alex, and he’d punish them for not mimicking Alex’s pristine methodology, shuffling skills, and soul reads.
With that, Asher was confident in his choice, and we went to sleep.
Round 1, I played against a fine gentleman playing Chris “Lux” Canon’s Rebirth Red. In the first game, I made a critical error that I’d rather not talk about, but in order to please Benjamin Peebles-Mundy, I’ll go ahead and tell you.
I had a Jace that I just cast, with eight lands, four of them tapped. My hand was alright and contained a single hard counterspell and a Consuming Vapors.
He had one creature, drew, cast Memnite, which I allowed, and then he cast Kuldotha Rebirth. I also allowed that, and then died to Goblin tokens.
God, I’m a fish.
Round 2, I was served a healthy dose of justice for my earlier misplay. I drew horribly both games and despite stabilizing, I just died to leveled Kargan Dragonlords with twelve lands in play.
I continued playing, figuring that rating might matter at some point, and because I liked my deck, but my Pulse was Tracked in round 3. With barely a game win to my name, I dropped, hoping that no one else knew I played round 3, so that I could tell everyone I dropped at 0-2. That didn’t work out when immediately after I lost, my opponent went up to tell Jason Ford how he GGed some donkey, pointed at me, and laughed.
It was gonna be a long day.
Naturally, I was overcome with despair and the whole “what am I doing here?” attitude that I’m sure afflicts many of today’s gamers. No? Just me…? Well, in order to cope, I roped in a few people to throw down on some pizza with me, as eating my feelings is possibly one of my favorite pastimes.
When we arrived at the hotel the previous night, we asked the desk clerk, who was attempting to use her email as a way to ignore us, where to get food. She, in not so exact terms, called us idiots and told us to look at our room keys, where there was conveniently the number for Dominos pizza.
I rubbernecked her email address and briefly considered sending creepy emails like, “Don’t turn around!” or “That’s a nice blue shirt you have on right now,” but eventually decided against it.
Anyway, I called the number on the Holiday Inn Marlboro room key, attempting to order for the Holiday Inn Boxborough. The nice lady informed me that I had to contact the other Dominos and went through the trouble of finding me their number. Man, these Dominos employees sure are nice.
I called the second Dominos and told them I was at the Holiday Inn Boxborough, in the Parade Room. It would probably just be easiest to go up to the stage and have the event coordinator call out my name, but the Dominos employee disagreed. He told me to give him my number and that was all he’d need. I tried to explain that I didn’t get service inside the convention center and how bad of an idea it was, but he wasn’t having any of it.
Shortly thereafter, my phone died because it was constantly searching for a signal. After about thirty minutes, I started waiting outside, searching for any and all Dominos cars, but none were forthcoming. Soon, I was back inside, begging Jason Ford for his phone and phone number so I could give it to them.
When I called back, inquiring where my order was, the dude on the phone was less than pleased. Apparently, the driver was in the hotel lobby waiting for me, which wasn’t even close to either of what I said should happen. I trekked over to the lobby, and there was no delivery driver to be found. There was only one conclusion: the driver went to the wrong hotel.
My best course of action here seemed to be placing a new order, slightly different, in the hopes that they wouldn’t notice. I got Josh Ravitz to place the call, but they snap-hung up on him. It was time to break down and order from the terrible local place called Bravo Pizza. Ravitz placed the call and after nearly three hours total, we finally had our pizza.
In between rounds, Ravitz and I battled some R/U/G vs. U/B, as neither of us had gotten much time to play the matchup, and it seemed relatively important. After splitting a few games, I suggested that we play a real match for $20, but Ravitz declined. I tried to re-negotiate a lower price, but he wasn’t willing to play for any stakes. All I really wanted was some incentive for us to both play tight and figure out what was going on, but he wasn’t having any of it. The next few games he crushed me, and my wallet was happy.
Two interesting situations came up. In the first, I had a Mind Sculptor with three loyalty to his Oracle of Mul Daya and Lotus Cobra. He drew for his turn, revealed a Scalding Tarn on top of his deck, and attacked Jace with both. I only had two mana open, so it was likely that he was trying to level me. I had Doom Blade, but it seemed clear that he had Frost Titan. Regardless, I might just lose to his little beaters if I don’t Blade the Oracle, and at least I get one more Brainstorm out of the deal.
I bit, he Titaned me, and my Brainstorm didn’t offer up anything.
In the next, I cast a little Jace. He tanked for half a second, so I grabbed a dice and placed it next to Jace, showing a two. He said, “Bolt it.” I said, “Oh, it resolved? We each draw.” I went on to win that game.
Jason Ford was out of the tournament, drafting against Gerard Fabiano. Rather than the typical wager of $20, Jason decided to spice it up. He’d get nothing if he won, but if Gerard complained at all over the weekend, Jason would get $40. To his credit, Gerard made good on the bet, although we all pretty much figured that he was going into the bathroom in between rounds and either telling random people his bad beat stories or screaming at the toilets.
To pass some time, I entered a draft myself and had the exact same Tom Chillemi reaction while watching Matt Costa play his abortion of a deck. There are no real words for when you sit down with your teammates, lay out your decks, and realize they have two white cards in their maindeck and seven green ones in their sideboard. It’s even more painful when they need to play those white cards in order to come up with 22 cards that are even close to playable. Splashing Razor Hippogriff with no fixers isn’t pretty, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
Costa asked me if he should play or draw with his deck, and I told him that this was mainly a draw format. He then chose to play. He then chose to suicide his creature into Etched Champion. I got up and walked out of the room.
I wouldn’t have been so tilted about it had I not just watched Costa play flawlessly with a pretty sick mono-white deck, albeit one that he didn’t draft.
Asher started strong at 5-0, easily the best record among us, but quickly bowed out from there. The previous night, I offered to sleep on the floor, just to be fair. Calosso offered up a solution for the next day: Whoever had the worst record would sleep on the floor. I quickly accepted, meaning no offense to anyone in particular. With my 0-3 record, it looked like it was back to the floor, and again I woke up freezing, with a stuffy nose.
Sunday was the big day. Dan Jordan won back-to-back SCG Standard Opens, and if he won the Legacy portion, he’d likely usurp Alex Bertoncini in the Player of the Year race. I quickly posted a message on Facebook about how I’d gladly concede to Dan at any point in time, despite hardly knowing him.
I’d observed a few games of the Survival deck, played a Daily Event on MTGO with the U/G version and scoured the lists for sweet cards. I came up with a list with four Quirion Rangers. I was pretty sure they were going to be good, but what I got is definitely more than what I paid for.
Ranger was incredibly absurd, as you can witness in my Top 8 match. There doesn’t seem to be too many Magic players around who were playing in 1998, but Quirion Ranger was an integral part of Survival decks back then as well. To make Ranger a true house, I needed more mana guys, but the twelve one-drops allowed me to cut some lands as well.
The base version of the deck is based on the Hatfield’s list from Charlotte. Those guys are true workhorses and deserve every single match win they get.
I cut most of the chaff, like the singleton Tarmogoyf, and some of the sideboard Enlightened Tutor targets. Initially, Calosso and I wanted a Natural Order package in the sideboard for Rock and Zoo, but we ended up with a seventeen-card sideboard. Cutting the Orders allowed us to add things like Nature’s Claim, but I still had an open slot in the sideboard.
The Hatfield crew dug through their box of potential Legacy playables, their robot minds calculating odds and percentages before suggesting things that might work in the field that day. The first suggestion, Contamination, was a cute idea, but I wanted to keep going. It would be my backup. Carpet of Flowers what was they really wanted me to play, but I refused. Null Rod was the next card, and ding ding, we had a winner!
I stood up and declared to the room that I would not lose to Josh Ravitz that day.
Here is what I played:
Creatures (29)
- 4 Birds of Paradise
- 1 Triskelion
- 4 Quirion Ranger
- 2 Basking Rootwalla
- 1 Phyrexian Devourer
- 1 Shield Sphere
- 1 Shriekmaw
- 1 Wispmare
- 4 Noble Hierarch
- 4 Vengevine
- 4 Fauna Shaman
- 2 Necrotic Ooze
Lands (18)
Spells (13)
Before round 1, Calosso got a text from Megan Holland, wishing him good luck. John Cuvelier and Keith McLaughlin, her roommates, forlornly checked their cell phones for messages, but found none. John muttered, “Well, good luck getting us to do the dishes this week,” and went to find his match.
Calosso and I agreed to a 20% split, capped at $200. The cap is only in effect if one of us (*cough* me *cough*) were to make the finals, but it seemed worth it. The cap I mean, not the split.
Round One: Josh Ravitz, Berserk Affinity
L
O
L
We both mulliganed to start, and I led with Thoughtseize, taking his Ravager, leaving him with just a Chromatic Star and Arcbound Worker. He peeled a Ravager on his turn, and all I could do was play a Fauna Shaman. Josh played his Star, sacrificed to Ravager to draw a card, and thoughtlessly attacked with both his creatures. I moved Fauna Shaman in front of the Worker, and Josh made Ravager a 4/4.
A Vengevine came down a turn later, and a stalemate began. Some turns later, I drew a Survival of the Fittest, and he died.
Second game, I mulliganed again but had a turn 3 Null Rod off Enlightened Tutor. By then, Josh had been nickel and diming me with a pair of Frogmites and a Disciple of the Vault. Despite being unable to play any more spells, the Disciple eventually burned me out.
In the final game, I had turn 2 Null Rod on the play after Josh double mulliganed. He asked if I had a Survival, and when I showed him Fauna Shaman, he conceded.
Ding!
1-0, 2-1 in games
Round Two: Bant Survival
My opponent failed to mulligan, instead opting to play turn 1 Basking Rootwalla both games. It wasn’t hard to beat a stack of green animals with my combo deck, so I had plenty of time to watch Asher play Gerard in a feature match.
2-0, 4-1 in games
The day before, I’d given both of them the Counterbalance list that I was going to play in Charlotte, so I thought I was in for a ringer mirror match. Unfortunately, Gerard had audibled at the last second into a U/W/B Dump Truck style brew.
The day before, Gerard had a game locked up against his opponent, but his opponent refused to concede. The opponent asked Gerard if he’d concede in that situation, and Gerard answered, “Of course.” His opponent still didn’t care, and they took the draw instead.
At the end, Asher all but had the game locked up, and Gerard graciously conceded. In both situations, Gerard got the short end of the stick, but it just goes to show how good of a man he is.
Round Three: MTGO Ringer (ReprisalMusic), R/b Goblins
On the draw, as I was the majority of the matches, I played Thoughtseize, evoked Shriekmaw, and then played a Survival. He was dead soon after. Really fair card.
Second game, he mulliganed to five but started with Goblin Lackey. Thankfully, I had the miser’s Shield Sphere to contain the beatdown and a Survival to follow. On turn 3, he used all of his mana to cast Goblin Warchief, and I got to untap with Survival in play. I had to think about what I could afford to play around.
Perish was the most likely possibility. Extirpate was far more backbreaking than Tormod’s Crypt, Faerie Macabre, or Ravenous Trap, but with him so willing to tap out, it was clear that he didn’t have it. In order to play around Perish, I’d have to wait until his turn to get those Vengevines into play, but that would give him a turn to draw Extirpate.
Of all the cards he could have, Perish was far more likely, so I played around that one, and won. As it turned out, he had nothing.
3-0, 6-1in games
Calosso was paired against Dan Jordan that round but refused to concede. Dan bested him in the Survival mirror to keep the dream alive.
Round Four: Kenny Mayer, G/W/B Rock
In the first game he put up little resistance. Second game, he kept a one-lander with Extirpate and other assorted goodies, bricked for a turn, but then drew a few lands. I was basically dead at that point, because he had plenty of removal and disruption.
For all the marbles, I started off with a strong tempo advantage and managed to maintain it. He stuck a Knight of the Reliquary while furiously Topping for answers. I Shriekmawed the first Knight, and he didn’t get a Maze, leading me to believe that he sided it out or wasn’t playing it in the first place. Just when I thought I was set, he brick-walled me with double Swords to Plowshares, using his last two cards.
I need to re-Survival up the other two Vengevines and start attacking again, but he played another Knight. If it turned out that Kenny was in for the long con and actually did have the Maze in his deck, I was probably going to look stupid, but I had to go for the win when I had the chance. He did, in fact, side it out, and I attacked him to exactly lethal.
4-0, 8-2 in games
Natural Order was severely missed, as was Big Game Hunter.
Round Five: Jason Ford, TEPS
Grr… Jason crushed me at Grand Prix Columbus, but I got him back playing for Top 8 in the SCG Open in Minneapolis. Here we were again, and like always, I had a bad matchup. I offered a 10% split.
We both mulliganed to five, and Jason kept four land and Preordain, which is definitely a fine keep. The turn before he died, he was a card short in his graveyard to be able to cast a thresholded Cabal Ritual into Ad Nauseam. A Mesmeric Fiend would’ve been absurd in this matchup.
Second game, he opened on Duress, taking my Survival, but that left me able to Enlightened Tutor for Ethersworn Canonist. Apparently I had to fade a lot of cards on Jason’s second-turn draw step, because any non-land mana source would’ve left me without any life points.
Instead, the Canonist ticked away, and Jason didn’t find a Chain of Vapor in time.
5-0, 10-2 in games
Round Six: Ken Adams, Imperial Painter
Pre-tournament, Ken came up to me because he heard that I’d been doing work on his archetype that he used to win the SCG Open in Minneapolis. Indeed I had. I considered playing it for a long time, but ultimately, Survival proved to be too powerful not to play. It literally felt like Reanimator 2.0.
Anyway, I suggested that he add Mox Opals and artifact lands to power them, and he seemed to like the changes andohmygodthismiser’sNullRodissoabsurd!
Game 1 was one of the few die rolls I won, so I was able to Thoughtseize him before he could cast Brainstorm. He Brainstormed into another one but no shufflers, and soon, I had a lot of Elementals attacking him.
Second game, I drew two consecutive hands with no lands, and when I drew the third no-lander, I just showed it to him and laughed. My four-card hand was Bayou, Survival of the Fittest, Noble Hierarch, and Enlightened Tutor. As far as four-card hands go, that one was pretty nice.
He opened with Ancient Tomb, Sensei’s Divining Top, and Grindstone. His second turn was Imperial Recruiter for Painter’s Servant. Things weren’t looking good, but the top of my deck served up Birds of Paradise and Nature’s Claim in consecutive turns. I played both and passed the turn.
On my upkeep, I Enlightened for Null Rod, which was a dagger for Ken. The only way for his deck to remove permanents is through artifacts or Red Elemental Blast, which he didn’t side in. I went for the kill with two Vengevines but ran up headfirst into his one-of Faerie Macabre. For the next few turns, we traded hits, him with a Painter and Recruiter and me with a four-power Rootwalla.
Ken finally drew enough Ancient Tombs to hard cast Sun Titan (!), returning the Macabre to block my potentially lethal Birds of Paradise. Next came a Trinket Mage that allowed him to Pithing Needle my Survivals.
It took a couple turns to draw a creature, and when I did, I used the Nature’s Claim I was sandbagging and set up the Ooze combo.
I mulliganed to four but won anyway. Very fair deck.
6-0, 12-2 in games
Round Seven: Sneak Attack/Show and Tell
I could intentionally draw into Top 8, as could my opponent, but he was new to the whole ID thing and wasn’t sure. He wanted to play it out, and I could do nothing but oblige him. He Force of Willed my Thoughtseize, but that meant my Survival was clear. A couple turns later, and the Ooze got him.
After winning game 1, I offered the draw again, once again reassuring him that he’d be able to draw again, and he took it.
6-0-1
Round Eight: Eli Kassis, U/G Survival
ID again to lock up our Top 8 spots.
6-0-2
Top 8: Rematch vs. Sneak Attack/Show and Tell
Easily the sickest match I’ve played in a long time. I highly recommend that you all watch it once it’s saved on GGsLive.com.
First game, due to Quirion Ranger in tandem with Fauna Shaman, I raced a turn 2 Progenitus.
Second game, I kept a one-lander with multiple discard spells. I definitely tanked about whether or not to keep, but I figured I could slow him down long enough to get my Fauna Shaman active.
I did manage to strip his hand but was kind of annoyed that he wasn’t running his Sneak Attacks into my Disenchant effects. It was nice to know that those could come out for the next game. When I finally drew a second land, my Shaman was bounced (to my hand) with an Echoing Truth and then Perished away, but the “third” one stuck.
Unfortunately, thanks to Ancient Tomb and City of Traitors, my opponent hard-cast Sphinx of the Steel Wind. That guy is a little difficult to deal with. I used Nature’s Claim on my own Tree of Tales to buy a turn but foolishly kept Shriekmaw in hand instead of Wispmare, which could’ve also bought me a turn to look for my one outer Oblivion Ring.
I foolishly sided out the Necrotic Ooze combo because it seemed just slower than attacking with Vengevines. I anticipated graveyard hate, maybe Perishes, considering the Personal Tutor that he always seemed to draw despite only having one but didn’t think he’d have something like Peacekeeper.
That little mistake cost me the game, but luckily not the match.
Game 3 was absurd. I was basically all-in on Enlightened Tutor for Survival, but my opponent Forced it, anticipating a sandbagged Thoughtseize. Awkwardly enough, I Thoughtseized him the next turn, which made it seem like his play was correct. He had just Personal Tutored for Show and Tell but only had Tundra and Island for mana. The relevant cards in his hand were:
Extirpate
Perish
Emrakul, the Aeons Torn
Taking the Emrakul would shuffle away the Show and Tell, but both Perish and Extirpate were bad news if he ever drew a black source. I was sitting on Oblivion Ring, so the Emrakul didn’t scare me very much. I decided to take the Perish, due to the amount of green dudes I already had in play.
A few turns later, he peeled a land, and got his Emrakul O-Ringed. I drew Necrotic Ooze, but otherwise didn’t have much going on. After an attack or two, he drew Brainstorm, but passed the turn. At the end of my turn, he Echoing Truthed my Oblivion Ring and annihilated me down to two life and two permanents, Necrotic Ooze and Savannah.
I played Quirion Ranger, tapped Ooze for mana, and used its ability to untap itself, generated another mana, replayed my land, cast Oblivion Ring, and then used the Quirion Ranger to untap the Ooze and attack him down to five.
With five power on the board and nothing else, I was basically dead to anything, but he drew a brick and conceded!
After that match, I needed a breather. I decided to agree to the Top 4 split after turning down the Top 8 split because instead of $400, I’d get $850. The only way I would make more than that was by winning my match and then (hopefully) splitting in the finals. However, that double up from 400 to 850 was way more important than the difference between 850 and 1300.
Top Four: Dreadtill (covered
here
)
My opponent mulliganed to five, but had turn 2 Phyrexian Dreadnaught plus Stifle. I kept roughly the all-mana hand on the mulligan to six and had no way to beat the 12/12.
The second game was all about Cabal Therapy, a card that I didn’t miss with the entire tournament, and Quirion Ranger, which allowed me to generate obscene amounts of mana while also dodging my opponents’ Wastelands.
I resolved Survival of the Fittest and brought a Rootwalla and Vengevine into play. On the next turn, I attacked and pumped the Rootwalla, which he took, and I prepared to go into Hibernation at the end of my turn. Survival dumped more Vengevines into the yard and put the Shield Sphere in my hand, preparing for next turn. My opponent saw the writing on the wall and conceded.
He kept a double Brainstorm, double Force of Will hand with only one Island and missed for a turn. I knew that I didn’t want to give him any extra draw steps if possible, as I was likely to win with what I had. First, a Cabal Therapy drew out a Force of Will, indicating that he had a second one and knew that I was likely going to know the only card he could cast.
Second, Fauna Shaman came down, but that was Stifled and Pithing Needled, so I needed to Tutor up a Survival. After I Thoughtseized his last Stifle, Survival produced a horde of Elementals, and my opponent couldn’t do anything.
With that win, I locked up level five, which I believe I share with only Alex and Ben Wienburg. Two byes to every SCG Open event, not to mention free entry into each one is pretty insane.
Finals: U/G/w Survival (covered
here
)
I felt like my matchup was probably pretty good, as he had no real way of stopping my Ooze combo, but in both games, I mulliganed into really loose hands. Overall, his hands were pretty good, and I didn’t stand much of a chance either way.
Survival of the Fittest should be banned, especially if WotC is going to be banning things like Mystical Tutor. Either let us play with all of our degenerate cards, or ban Counterbalance (maybe Top), Survival, and Mystical to put everyone on an even playing ground.
The U/G Survival decks are too inconsistent, but the G/B/W deck I played is truly a monster. Kudos to the Hatfields for getting on the right track with Enlightened Tutor and Owen Turtenwald for digging up Quirion Ranger again. Couldn’t have done it without you guys.
Once you start building a Survival deck that basically has twelve Survivals, disruption, and fast mana, bad things start happening. I don’t expect anything other than a mirror match or a pure hate deck to defeat me. If I had a Mesmeric Fiend and Big Game Hunter, I don’t know what it would’ve taken for me to lose a game.
On Saturday night, I finally remembered to book my ticket to Indianapolis from Virginia, where I’ll be staying until Grand Prix Nashville. The day before they were $270, but by some god-given miracle they were now $113. Much rejoicing was had.
Initially, we planned to leave as soon as possible Sunday night, but because I ran so deep in the tournament, we decided to stay once Jason Ford offered up his parents’ place to crash at. My flight was at 7 pm, so we needed to leave at 7 am or so, but that wasn’t going to be a problem for us. Asher decided that he’d rather get home, so he left with Ravitz, leaving us to a three-man car ride on the way home.
I was absolutely starving and was adamant that I we go to the TGI Friday’s we went to the night before. Jason offered up a similar restaurant closer to his house, but that was farther, and I wanted TGI’s for the same reason I ordered Dominos compared to a random place: I know exactly what I’m getting.
I happen to like Dominos, but I know that other people talk a lot of trash about them. The thing is, you’ll still eat Dominos every time, and even though you might have a little bowel irregularity, you most likely won’t regret that meal. A random place could be
anything
though. What if it’s the worst pizza in your life? You’d be out some money and still be hungry.
What’s the potential upside? It’s the best pizza ever, but you’ll most likely never go to that pizza place again, so why does it matter? Go with the safe play in regards to food. I normally try to, and I’m never dissatisfied.
Without Asher and his God-phone, we were helpless. With all of us being children, and most without licenses to boot, it was difficult enough to tie our shoes, let alone find a place in the barren landscape that is Boxborough.
It took us thirty minutes to find the Friday’s that we’d been to just the night before. When we finally took a Hail Mary attempt down a random road and ginned it, I got out of the car, got down on my knees in the pouring rain, and prayed to whatever imaginary beings were watching over me.
We hurried inside, only to find out they were only allowing bar seating, and the kitchen was closed. After all that hard work and struggling, and for what? Nothing!
I ran outside and started yelling expletives at the top of my lungs, much to the amusement of my friends. Gerry was hungry, tired, and cranky. This was not acceptable.
I offered to ride with JFord in his 1962 Jeep Cherokee, but Nick shotgunned over me. He later found out while going 70 on the highway, in the sleeting rain, that his door was open. Jason’s car, without any bells or whistles, failed to notice or alert them of that fact, much to Nick’s surprise.
Without any knowledge of the surrounding restaurants, we begrudgingly set out for Jason’s house. When we passed a sign for a Wendy’s off a nearby exit, I excitedly called Jason and told him to pull off. He informed me that we were a mere fifteen minutes from his house, and there was a Wendy’s right by it.
I could understand wanting to get out of the crappy weather as soon as possible, but we couldn’t stop for a minute to indulge my baby whining?
Forty minutes later, we arrived at the Wendy’s Jason told us about. I’ve been hungry before, and I’ve definitely been in bad moods before, but this time, I was out of my mind. I couldn’t think or see straight. Nothing made sense. Why wasn’t there food in front of me yet!?
We pulled up to the drive-through, and I just yelled, “Baconator!” It was the closest to a sentence I could form. The kind employee informed me that they were closed, and I replied by again, shouting expletives at him.
I stumbled out of the car and alongside Jason’s, fuming, yet sad at the same time. I was on the verge of tears. He suggested we see if that TGI’s rip-off was open, but at that point, I wasn’t hopeful. I slumped back into car, an emotional wreck. We drove down the road, again at Calosso’s careful pace, as if I weren’t literally dying in the passenger seat.
Then, there was a shining beacon of truth: A 24-hour sign attached to a CVS Pharmacy. Never in my life have I been so happy to see a pharmacy. Last I checked, pharmacies sold frozen pizzas, perhaps even Tombstone, but I wasn’t about to get my hopes up. Leaving there empty-handed would be like telling a three-year-old that Santa Claus isn’t real.
They had Tombstone, and I can honestly say that $8.49 is by far the highest I’ve ever seen them being sold for. DiGiorno, in the next freezer, were a mere $7.99, yet on sale, two for $11. I typically wouldn’t care, but I have morals and standards, to some degree. I snapped up two DiGiornos, made a mental note to send a letter of apology to Tombstone, grabbed some sodas, and went to the counter.
The total came to $25, which with two pizzas at $11 and four sodas under $2 each, I felt like I was being overcharged. I looked at the items, did some math, and came up with different numbers each time, but each of them was under $25. Rather than prolong the vital nourishment that I needed, I decided to suck it up and say nothing.
Once we were at Jason’s place, I fired up the oven and collapsed in his bed. Unfortunately, Calosso got into bed as well, and Jason took a somewhat compromising picture and naturally posted it on Facebook.
Jason ran downstairs in order to hide the evidence. When he finally came upstairs, he had some bad news that he could’ve told us earlier but somehow neglected to.
His oven didn’t work.
Tilted? Yes, a little.
Twenty minutes later, he had more news, this time good news, but again, news that he could’ve told us much earlier.
Jason owned a Pizzazz Pizza Oven.
I’ve used a Pizzazz before, and I certainly respect them, but it took actual years to perfect my Tombstone craft. Relearning a new craft isn’t something I’ve had enough ambition to do, but I was willing to give it my damndest.
I tried it on the dual setting but didn’t seem to be doing much, so I turned it on the lower setting. A solid twenty minutes later, and it finally started showing some change. I turned it back to dual, but by then, the bottom was cooked but not the top. Those things are damned difficult to operate.
While I prepared for the home stretch, I stood outside in the rain with Jason’s wolf/dog hybrid and was eventually joined by Calosso. His dog was gorgeous, and Calosso inquired as to what its name was. Jason replied, “We don’t name our dogs. We’re just going to eat them.”
Fair enough.
Finally, after what seemed like eons, I took my first bite of food, and despite my unorthodox method of cooking, it tasted amazing. The first pizza took literally forty minutes to cook, but the second took only twenty. I must’ve leveled up my Pizzazz skills.
It was nearly 4 am before we all passed out, and when Calosso’s alarm went off at 7 am, he decided to reset it for 8:30. Apparently he had faith in himself to get us back in time to catch my flight. Between the hailstorm, attempting to find a street that didn’t exist, and Nick Spagnolo not picking up his phone to tell us where we could find said road, despite us immediately dropping him off, we ended up being a little late.
I wasn’t too upset, because I knew there was a flight leaving an hour later, but when we went to the AirTran booth, there was no one there. I called their help line and while waiting for a real person to talk to, I was forced to listen to their policy of how:
1) If I missed my flight for any reason, they didn’t care.
2) If I wanted to reschedule, that was too bad. I’d have to buy another flight.
3) If I flew on AirTran, I was an idiot.
Last time I flew on AirTran, which was the week before on my way to Atlanta, our flight was delayed four times, which amounted to roughly seven hours where Ben and I spent sitting in the airport durdling. Never again.
I went to the United booth, looking to buy a ticket, but they wanted $270. I decided to check Frontier, as even though their choice of mascots seriously disturbs me, they typically run a tight ship.
Dejected, and now seriously worried at this point due to my lack of funds, Calosso and I headed outside. Of course, being the responsible young adults we are, we failed to remember where we parked his car and couldn’t find it. Rather than continue searching, I suggested we try to find the Frontier counter and book a ticket there.
We found a pillar with directions, but there were no Frontiers to be found. It was strange, because I remember booking a flight with AirTran because of a better departure time, and Frontier was flying out of the same airport. Then Calosso realized there were two airports in Fairfax and started interrogating me about which airport code I booked my flight with.
What is the opposite of tilt? Like, rather than the downward spiral, spew-inciting, manic-depressive-ensuing tilt, the one where something happens to you that’s just so great you go into a similar, reality-ignoring bliss that you disregard the important things?
When I booked my flight for almost $200 less than it was the day earlier, I glossed over the little things like which airport I was flying out of. Taking laps around the room and high-fiving my friends was all that was on my mind at that point.
As we stood there in the IAD airport, I distinctly remembered booking out of DCA, an airport clear across town, at least an hour away. To top it off, the car was still missing. A solid twenty minutes of searching later, we found it, and were on our way. Megan Holland informed me that roughly the same flights were available, but that would basically put me all-in.
Once I was back at the Fuentes mansion, complete with servants and all, I booked another flight, bringing the total up to roughly what I was supposed to pay in the first place. Calosso went to another playtesting session but didn’t seem to be learning anything important about his matchups.
Once again, I was left to myself, this time to reflect on not just the week I had, but also the month, and the year. I sometimes find myself thinking, “Is this real life? Is this what it’s supposed to be?” It’s the life that, at times, I’ve tried to escape, but ultimately keep running back to.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
GerryT
www.g3rry.com
www.Twitter.com/g3rryt
Props:
Tony Hawk: For the hoodie.
Stacy Kim: For the scarf.
Kenny Mayer, Hatfields, David Price, Aris, Jason Ford, Cuvi, Stephan, Caloss Boss: For the cards.
Lipkin/Dr. Funk: For the dough and the constant love.
Andy Martin: For being the first person I saw Survival for Vengevines. You blew my mind.
Dominos: You are delicious.
Survival of the Fittest: You are the stone-kold nuts. I’m gonna miss you.
A Day to Remember: Such good car tunes.
Jason Ford/Nick Spagnolo/Lewis Laskin/Ben Hayes/Matt Costa: Some of my new favorite people.
All of my old favorite people!
StarCityGames.com: Obviously.
Slops:
Whatever god-awful city Jason Ford is from: For being closed.
Dominos: We have such a love/hate relationship.
Indianapolis Airport: I’m incredibly disappointed in you.
Bonus!
Once I arrived in Indianapolis, I received the following texts from Calosso:
Calosso: Tried to make a Tombstone. Obv Mom got a new, high tech oven, and I don’t know how to use it. This is how I run.
Later…
Calosso: Hour later, still can’t do it. Gave up and went to Chipotle.
Me: Hit the “bake” button.
Calosso: Ur so sickkkk.
A few hours later…
Calosso: Aaaaand locked myself out of my room.
Calosso: Broke the door down.