Scene One ———————————– Our tale begins in the empty sports arena of a typical Dominarian High School. A group of boys sit in the stands around the ‘lead’ boy, whose quif is so large it is supported by large aluminum buttresses and support pillars nailed to his temples. They are clicking their fingers to the…
I had a lovely holiday, thank you for asking. Didn’t miss Magic at all… …not even a little bit… *cough* Moving Swiftly Along ———————————— If, like me, you don’t find tournament reports particularly interesting and, like me also, you’re fed up to the back teeth with Masques-block ‘tech’, then I imagine that life on the…
Three rings, then a click ————————————————— Thank you for reading Tony’s article. Tony isn’t here right now, but if you’d like to e-mail him a message (or some unprovoked abuse) then do so at the following e-mail address: [email protected] Alternatively, you could wait for the beeps and read his pre-recorded stream-of-consciousness musings. BEEP BEEP BEEP…
My darlings, Here’s an extract from a recent e-mail I (may have) received: "Dear Tony, "When will you bring back your entertaining cryptic clue quiz thing – you know the one I mean? Love, Mrs Trellis North Wales" This e-mail is typical of hundreds of e-mails that I get … (comedy pause) … from Mrs….
This week there’ll be no irreverent nonsense, no puns or bad jokes, because I need to share my predicament with you: My wife hates Magic: The Gathering Not in a "fire and brimstone" or "choose between me or it"-type way, but it’s getting close. She plays other games, but has never found any particular appeal…
: A tired old joke will shortly be arriving in Paragraph Three. Felicitous greetings to you my desirous readership on this th’occasion of my [wait a sec … one .. two … three … (long pause)] something-th article for StarCityCCG; and to celebrate this auspicious moment, sit yourself down and have a cup of tea…
Before I start, just let me say this: JAMIE MOLES, 6 and 0!!! Respect is due! Start HERE, for [EXPLETIVE DELETED] Sake! —————————————————– (take a deep breath; pull those shoulders back; lift your chin) I had a letter the other day from my good friend and contract intellectual Prof. Gabriel Sneeep*. As far as I…
Scene One A convent in the remote snow-covered mountains of the Alps. Nuns are going about their business (fingering their wimples, getting in and out of their habits, pulling the wings off flies, harvesting bees, glaring at small children, etc). Two nuns are sitting in concerned conversation on an ornate garden swing-chair (with Bart Simpson…
SATURDAY It is a beautiful morning – blue skies and shining, summer sun. Alan and myself leave my part-time Reading residence at the crack of dawn (a lark in attendance) and drive to Guildford – shining Southern metropolis and home to this year’s English Nationals. I should emphasise that they are the ENGLISH Nationals (…
Following up from the thinly-disguised space-filler from a couple of articles ago, I thought I’d throw in a few more ‘persons as Magic cards’ – you know the concept, I mean the title fair gives the game away, no? Anyway – I know this is asking for trouble, but can anyone out there produce some…
Er… no, that’s not quite right… first up, just a quick note to say that I am getting a little worried right now. Worried for the beloved game of Magic: The Gathering. Why? Well there’s a new kid on the block and he’s getting all of our friends to go play with him instead –…
Cheap Link ———————— The sun is shining, the birds are singing, flowers are in full bloom, and the suburbs echo to the distant sound of leather upon willow ("that’ll be 100 pound, m’lud"). In such circumstances, one’s thoughts naturally turn to Magic: the Gathering Teams; well, they do down our way… So, what actually makes…
You doh, subber id a wudderfuh tibe of the year. Boo skies, lazy (*snort*) avdanoods id the sudshide with a glass of cool Pibbs nubber wud (strawberry ad cucubber essential, of course). Unfortudately, I ab wud of those poor subs-of-bidges who suffers frob Hay Fever (*aaatchooo*) – so I have to spedd Bay, Jude, and…
TOP O’THE WORLD, MA! Ever wondered what its like being a competitor at the M:TG World Championships? Yeah – so have I! But given I’ve got as much chance of attending as a DOLPHIN has of climbing Mount Everest in a Tu-tu, I thought I’d fantasize for a bit. Unfortunately, they won’t publish that, so…
As a parent, one of my biggest worries centres around my children being brainwashed by watching too much television (that and committing me to a "Care Facility" where the walls are smeared with poo and eight-foot tall ‘Native Americans’ keep destroying lavatory fittings); more specifically: how it affects their capability for social interaction, the definition…
