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So I witnessed the new Onslaught Block metagame up close and personal this weekend… And although we spent a hell of a lot of time reporting on everything that we saw, there were certain lessons that may have been lost in the shuffle. So let me condense the combined knowledge of thirty-seven articles and match reports to bring you the New Lessons of Onslaught Block.

I have playtested this for weeks, and it goes 7-3 vs. MWC, 8-2 vs. Goblins, 9-1 vs. Beasts and crushes Zombie Bidding.
Cool, huh?

Frequently, the deck is not cool. It is not even good. And it raises one fundamental question: If the deck is that bad, how did he get numbers that good? Is he hallucinating, or lying? The answer is neither; he probably got results like that because he violated most of the rules of tourney preparation. So let me show you how to do it right.

While I imagine the top decks from Detroit will be dissected and analyzed in depth, I decided to zero in on how has Scourge impacted the metagame. I compiled all of the cards used in the Day 2 decklists to see what Scourge cards had the most impact. We’ll start with the Top 10…

The idea behind BWC is to shut down your opponents while gaining card advantage, eventually killing them with an Angel, Dragon, or Abomination. If they try to rush you, punish them with the deck’s twelve global removal spells. If they try and hold back, you one-for-one them (or two-for-one them with Cruel Revival) until you can drop one of your fatties or destroy their hand with Head Games.

In Bennie Smith’s most recent article,”The Legend of Chuck,” Bennie discusses a player in his multiplayer group named – not surprisingly – Chuck. Most every multiplayer group has at least one Chuck, and just about everyone would like to get rid of Chuck – or at least see him change his style. Bennie asked for suggestions to help him deal with his reputation as a strong player with solid decks that can kill everyone on the board quickly. I’m here to show you how to”ground” Chuck, and dump the reputation that is putting a damper on the win totals.

Generally, my”Real Story Behind” series deals with the most recent expansion’s storyline and its relation to the flavor texts of the cards. However, there’s no reason not to take advantage of the other books that Wizards of the Coast has released. This first book in the Ice Age Cycle novels takes place during the time between the final battle between Urza and Mishra and the oncoming of the Ice Age – a time dubbed by historians as”The Dark.” It was a time in which the world was becoming colder and darker, yet magic was becoming more understood – and feared.

If you are going to lose, make sure you take names and numbers and get to work on paybacks! Be the alpha male – or female! The next time someone takes you out or performs an otherwise despicable act, do your best”Godfather” imitation and kiss them on the cheeks! Pull out pennies and stick them in their eyes! Rub garlic on your dice! And above all, let me show you how to do it!

I’ve expressed my disdain for the weakening of blue overall. I agree very much with the sentiment that the other colors should be brought up to Blue’s former power levels. But instead, the masses bitched and whined. I don’t know if it was a result of public outcry, or an internal decision by Wizards, or (most likely) a combination of the two, but the people got what they wanted. Half of the You Make The Card mechanics were blue hosers. The question is, who are these people?

You know what is nice about Rorix besides all his other, obvious, attributes? It is the fact that he is a rare. I know it sounds dumb, but it’s true. People don’t play as well against rares. They don’t expect to be facing rares. They aren’t accustomed to playing against rares, so they are more likely to play poorly when facing rares. Entire Limited articles are written sometimes as if rares barely existed. How can you account for this in your Limited playtesting?