Pit Familiars

None other than the Mirari is up for grabs – but only if you can win it in the pit. What new contestants vie for the most powerful artifact in Odyssey?

The setting for Odyssey is a Dominarian continent by the name of Otaria. The aspiration of many important people there is to achieve the legendary Mirari, about which very little is known – other than its power is great. Luckily for high achievers, the Cabal have offered the Mirari as the final prize of the pit fighting champion – making pit fighting the”thing to do” in Otaria.

Sounds exciting, right? What’s the one thing missing from this storyline? Characters. Namely, characters we know. When Yawgmoth invaded Dominaria and Gerrard and his crew fought him, we knew all about Our Heroes. In the current storyline, Our Heroes are brand new. But wouldn’t it be interesting if we knew the main characters already?

Well, it won’t happen – but that doesn’t mean that we can’t pretend… Below, I’ve presented fifteen people who probably look familiar; however, they’re in Pit Fighter form. That is, they’re designed as Magic cards! So sit back, relax, and enjoy the idea of these warriors battling it out in the pits.

The Ferrett, Editor of This Here Site Here


Creature – Editor Legend

When The Ferrett comes into play, put a Moving counter on it. As long as The Ferrett has at least one Moving counter, it has phasing.

When The Ferrett phases in, put a Moving counter on it and The Ferrett phases out.

When The Ferrett has five Moving counters on it, remove all Moving counters and gain five life.


Incidentally, I started the whole”quoting” bit…

Kai Budde, World’s Best


Creature – Player Legend

Tap: Destroy all permanents target opponent controls as long as that opponent controls a Player Legend.

Tap: Draw three cards then choose and discard two cards, gain three life, give target creature +3/+3 until end of turn, deal three damage to target creature or player, or add BBB to your mana pool.


Jon Finkel, Once World’s Best


Creature – Player Legend

When Jon Finkel comes into play, destroy all other creatures unless Kai Budde, World’s Best is in play. If Kai Budde is in play, destroy Jon Finkel as it comes into play instead.

When Jon Finkel comes into play, name a card. The named card cannot be played.


Zvi Mowshowitz, Writer


Creature – Player Legend

When Zvi Mowshowitz comes into play, put seven My Fires counters on Zvi Mowshowitz.

During your upkeep, remove a My Fires counter from Zvi Mowshowitz. If you cannot, sacrifice Zvi Mowshowitz and deal 20 damage to target opponent.


Mike Long, Magic”Play”er


Creature – Player Legend

If Mike Long would come into play from your hand, graveyard, or library, instead remove Mike Long from the game.

When Mike Long comes into play, you win the game.


Anthony Alongi, of Multiplayer Fame


Creature – Writer Legend

During your upkeep, if there are at least five legends in play, remove all other legends from the game. Each player then chooses a legend removed in this way and puts it into play under his or her control.

During each player’s upkeep, that player loses life equal to the number of legends removed from the game.

During each player’s upkeep, that player may choose to return a legend removed from the game into play under target opponent’s control and lose life equal to that legend’s casting cost.

When Anthony Alongi leaves play, return all legends still removed from the game into play under their owners’ control.


Sean Ponce, Deranged Dad


Creature – Writer Legend

Sean Ponce counts as a trader.

During your upkeep, if an opponent controls a trader, you may choose one permanent that player controls and he or she may choose one permanent you control. Exchange control of those permanents.

During your upkeep, you may sacrifice all of your permanents. If you do, search your library for X permanents, where X is equal to have the number of permanents you sacrificed, and put those permanents into play.

All squirrels get +1/+1.


Jamie Wakefield, Asheron’s Called


Creature – Writer Legend

During each upkeep, put a 1/1 Saproling that counts as a green creature into play.

Tap: Put a 7/7 Best Fattie Ever Printed token into play. If you have more than one Best Fattie Ever Printed token in play, sacrifice Jamie Wakefield as an additional cost.


Tony Boydell, British Weirdo


Creature – Writer Legend

When Tony Boydell comes into play, shuffle the top half of your library and the top half of target opponent’s library together. Play a game of Memory with the opponent, using the cards taken in this way, with each player putting into play the pairs of cards he or she wins. Shuffle any cards without matches into their owner’s library.


John Rizzo, Issue Boy


Creature – Writer Legend

During your upkeep, put an issue counter on John Rizzo. If there are three issue counters on John Rizzo, remove all issue counters and deal 10 damage to all creatures and players. Creatures dealt lethal damage in this way cannot be regenerated.

1B: Regenerate John Rizzo.

Remove an issue counter from John Rizzo: Deal 3 damage to target creature or player and 3 damage to John Rizzo.

All blue and black spells cost 1 less to play.


Israel Marques, Nether Strategist


Creature – Writer Legend

When Israel Marques comes into play, search your library for a creature card and put it into play under your control. When Israel Marques leaves play, search your library for a creature card and put it into play under your control.

UR, Sacrifice Israel Marques: Counter target spell and deal 2 damage to target creature or player. Draw a card.


Bennie Smith, Green Beater


Creature – Writer Legend

When Bennie Smith comes into play, search your library for all copies of Saber Ants and put them into play. When Bennie Smith leaves play, return all creatures in all players’ graveyards into play.


Tony Sculimbrene


Creature – Dude

Tap: Add G to your mana pool.


Note: Tony Sculimbrene is common.

Sheldon Menery, Version 1.0


Creature – Judge Legend

Sheldon Menery counts as a writer.

You may play Sheldon Menery as though it were an interrupt.

When Sheldon Menery comes into play, all batches of effects fizzle. Target opponent can announce no more spells this turn.


Sheldon Menery, Version 2.0


Creature – Judge Legend

Sheldon Menery counts a writer.

You may play Sheldon Menery any time you can play an instant.

When Sheldon Menery comes into play, counter target spell. Target opponent cannot play any spells this turn.


Mark Rosewater, Master Designer


Creature – Legendary Artifact

Mark Rosewater counts as a permanent of all five colors. Mark Rosewater counts as a Designer.

Tap, roll 1d20 and 1d6: If the number on the d20 is less than 10, put a Ba-roken token into play that counts as a creature with power and toughness equal to */*, where * is equal to the number on the d20. The Ba-roken token has the ability of the corresponding d6 roll below:

1 – Ba-roken is green. T: Put a +1/+1 counter on target Ba-roken token.

2 – Ba-roken is red. Sacrifice: Deal damage equal to Ba-roken’s toughness to target creature or player.

3 – Ba-roken is black. Pay an amount of life: Draw X cards, where X is equal to half the amount of life you paid.

4 – Ba-roken is blue. 2UU, Tap: Draw a card.

5 – Ba-roken is white. 2WW, Tap: Remove target creature from the game.

6 – Ba-roken is black and green. Whenever Ba-roken deals damage to a creature, put a +1/+1 counter on Ba-roken. G: Ba-roken becomes the color of your choice until end of turn. B: Regenerate Ba-roken.

So *that’s* how they do it!

Well, there you have it. Pit fighting will never be the same. And neither will playing Magic!

Daniel Crane

[email protected]