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PTQ Osaka: Deconstructing Enchantress

Pictures of Rizzo and hot babes having fights! Rizzo attempts to convince you that his tongue tech is good! Rizzo is proven right on Nightscape Familiar! What else do you want?

This has been running through my bean for the better part of a week now:

Warm it up, Chris.

I’m about to.

Warm it up, Chris.

‘Cause that’s what I was born to do.

Hopefully, it’s now stuck up in your dome so much that you are contemplating putting your pants on backwards. Now that was a great fashion statement that was never truly appreciated.

I got sick of white. No, I mean, really sick. Thus, I moved on down to the mono-green Enchantress style – it can be much more fun, and is also better suited to handle Wasteland, which isn’t even a real concern, but I need some”legitimate” reason to state for going mono green.”I’m bored” was not legitimate – but it was the real reason for the switcheroo.

This was the first take:

// 1cc

4x Birds of Paradise

4x Skyshroud Elite

4x Rancor

4x Hidden Gibbons

4x Hidden Herd

4x Wild Growth

4x Exploration

// 2cc

4x Argothian Enchantress

4x Hidden Stag

// 3cc

4x Verduran Enchantress

2x Ancestral Mask

// land

14x Forest

2x Treetop Village

2x Gaea’s Cradle

I fished that bad boy for upwards of a week before I realized that, damn, while it’s fun as all hell to fish, it just isn’t, like, a real good testing procedure. So I tested against a bunch of Net Decks. Um, yeah, that’s what I did.

With the environment changing by the hour, I’m supposed to build or proxy up a handful of gauntlet decks that will be obsolete by the time I build them, right?

Wrong. Screw that. If anyone can tell me what the metagame is going to be on the 19th, then they should go directly to NASA and pawn themselves off as Will Hunting. From Secret Force to Trix to Junk to Walamies to Miracle and Super Gro to Sligh and back again, hitting everything you can think of in between, the gamut has been run and run again. Anyone who thinks they have a clue about Extended is either lying or simply not telling you the truth. Even Theron couldn’t make heads or tails of this environment… But it is cool that Sean McKeown picked up where Theron left off. (Is McKeown reporting strange games to the DCI now? – The Ferrett)

Metagamin’ ain’t easy, but somebody gotta do it.

Is Oath good this week? Is Sligh still awful, or are turn-4 kills okay now? Do I still need Phyrexian Furnace? Who the hell knows?

Why would I try to do the math?

Laughing at the above deck is par for the course, and I don’t even mind. In fact, I expect it. Even if I were to laud Hidden Gibbons as a monster turn one play against Miracle Gro, you’d still laugh. If I were to state that it seems amazingly likely that Hidden Herd will be awakened almost immediately by everything but Sligh, you’d call me kooky. If I mentioned that Hidden Stag will be awakened by an opponent doing nothing more than playing a land, you’d say”you suck, Rizzo,” and while you’d have a point, you’d still realize that between Gibbons, Herd and Stag, there are twelve cheap enchantments that are more often than not going to become creatures. And in a hurry.

Does the fact that they trigger either Enchantress, drawing you at least one card, and then, for fun, turn themselves into a fat body to help you stomp guts make you go”whoa?” Does the fact that you can cast Rancor on an awakened Stag and then drop a land to make it fall off so you can go off make you go”sup?” Probably not.

Turn one: Gibbons.

Turn two: Heh.

You are now free to roam about the cabin. Does Growboy counter your Enchantress and take four? Do you cast Stag in your main phase and say”deal with this, decker of the net?” What can he do? If he counters the Stag, he takes four. If he doesn’t, or can’t, he’s going to be facing a 3/2 next turn, and still be tied up with Gibbons messin’ wit’ da’ program.

It gets even better with Herd. For them to even cast any of their cool stuff, they need to drop a dual. A 3/3 fattie for me? Mix in a Gibbons or a Stag and you have some serious fun times. Oh, and there’s this pesky little Enchantress engine to worry about too.

Since I fully expect every deck and their father’s Oldsmobile to playing nonbasics to the hilt, the Elite is a no-brainer. If I’m starting 4x Herd, then 4x Elite simply adds more madness to the method, man.

Still, the deck wasn’t”something” enough. Even with regular turn 5 kills and the ability to be Deeded two or three times and hardly skip a beat, it needed a little kick. I am oh so easily bored.

// 1cc

4x Birds of Paradise

4x Skyshroud Elite

4x Rancor

4x Hidden Gibbons

4x Hidden Herd

4x Wild Growth

4x Exploration

3x Seal of Strength

// 2cc

4x Argothian Enchantress

2x Hidden Stag

// 3cc

4x Verduran Enchantress

2x Ancestral Mask

// land

15x Forest

2x Gaea’s Cradle

Seal of Strength is the nutz. Much like Gibbons, Herd and Stag give me two for the price of one, Seal fits the bill as a card drawer and finisher, and can accidentally save/kill something in combat. It also lowers the mana curve enough so that I (almost) feel cozy with only fifteen”real” lands and two Cradle.

I almost started to mesh into a Ten-Land Enchantress mold, but I quickly realized that Quirion Ranger + Wild Growth = not a combo. Ranger also lacks more than a little synergy with Stag. But, man, do I really want to fit Briar Shield in here, or what?

Frog Tongue.

Yes, I said”Frog Tongue.” What’s that do, you may be thinking right now.

Frog Tongue

G

Enchant Creature

When Frog Tongue comes into play, draw a card.

Enchanted creature may block as though it had flying.

An enchantment that draws me a card without an Enchantress is sick. The fact that its target can now block Mystic Enforcer and Morphling (and probably live to tell about it) is borderline unfair. Ground Seal was also up for consideration, but all it really does is save my Rancors from Phyrexian Furnace. Okay, maybe it has other uses – but it ain’t no Frog Tongue, baby! Too bad the deck is too tight to squeeze in a little Tongue… And that is the most obscene sentence you will read today.

That’s the deck that I’m taking to the Extended Friday Night Magic. Heh, Extended FNM? Dude.

Oh, yeah, the board. I suck at sideboards more than anyone has ever sucked at anything that can possibly be fit in between two or more lips. Still, gotta give it the old dropped-outta-college-three-times-try.

4x City of Solitude – When it hits, go take a nap – I’ll be a while.

4x Powder Keg – Not sure why, but I bet they’ll be useful.

3x Emerald Charm – ‘Cause JJ likes ’em, and hey, you never know when you may run into a CoP: Green or a random Trix deck. Oh, and it can take Mystic Enforcer’s flying away, just to be funny.

2x Bind – I like to draw cards. Is that so wrong? And, heck, while Deed isn’t that big of a deal, why take a turn or two to rebuild when I can just win?

2x Spellbane CentaurWaterfront Bouncer and Submerge suck. So does this guy, but hey, who doesn’t?

There is no road trip story, since Crossroads is only thirty-odd minutes away, but I did stop to get some Diet Coke and Altoids. And maybe some smokes too because my wife stopped picking them up for me when she realized they were five friggin’ bucks a pack.

Five bucks. Yep, we’ll get them dirty smokers – killing themselves and costing us all that money in health care and whatnot.

Q: Which will kill you quicker, a pack a day or a Whopper combo a day?

A: Hey, ninety grams of fat doesn’t smell up your clothes, chief.

My, my, people sure love Psychatog. Know who else they really love? Yep, our old buddy, the original wuv muffin, the sexual chocolate himself – Nightscape Familiar.

“Afterwards, Cornelissen and Humpherys agreed that Nightscape Familiar was, to use a technical term, a beating.”

Josh Bennett

And two from Randy B…

“Nightscape Familiar gave Walamies a mana advantage for the entire game…”

“…Nightscape Familiar was great tech for the mirror match.”

“Mmm, chocolate,” sighs Homer Simpson.

The thing about my”strategy” is that you have to wade through about ten pages of utter wrongness to find the one thing that I’ll be right about. I’m usually right about one card, maybe two, per block, so, good luck with that.

Round one sees me face off against Deejer playing Josh Smith’s GP: Houston-winning deck. Fun times indeed for one of us, and it probably won’t be me…But Mike and Jeff Emmert were playing our decks for fun before the tourney, and Mike, playing Deejer’s deck, annihilated Jeff. That bodes well for me;”for fun” results rarely mirror actual results.

When my turn one Gibbons resolves, I figure it’s good times, and when my two turn 2 Herds resolve as well, well, the times, they are a-changin’.

Deejer took it like a man, especially since he couldn’t draw the right mana to cast a Deed that was in his hand. But the Gibbons told him that searching for land was going to get a 4/4 fattie coming at him, and the Herd was so sexy, considering that every land Deejer dropped was a wake-up call.

The second game was all about me overextending beyond belief because Deejer had played a Powder Keg that was prepared to kill my whole team. It certainly would have, too, if my two sexy Binds were not in my hand at the crucial moment.

Brendan decides that the newest, bestest buddy in Extended, Super-Gro, is sexy, and when he beats me down like a bitch in game one, it sure is. Game two, however, sees my Rancored and Masked Bird racing his Mystic Enforcer. It all comes down to me needing to draw an enchantment to serve for the final piece of love. With a whole bunch of enchantments hanging out in my deck, you’d think I’d draw one, right? Well, I did. N’yah, n’yah.

The third game is typical Brendan: By turn five, he had cast three Legacy’s Allure. Um? He could be a little luckier, but I doubt it. I am now about 0-8 vs. Brendan. And it sucks. If ever there was a Johnny Draw What I Need When I Need It But Only Against Rizzo, then Brendan is it.

CoryA’s Ten-Land Green is my next victim. With at least eight”dead” cards (Gibbons and Herd), I figure this will be over in a hella hurry. While his draw was hardly optimal, mine was godly: Two lands, Birds, Argothian, Exploration, Mask, Wild Growth. It didn’t take long at all to serve for a billion with that grip o’ sickness.

The second game saw happy Vine Dryads beating me until I was quite dead. Man, Fog would be so tech. Since Cory drew a very average hand in the third game, I was able to cast three Argothians by turn 3. He could only smack me for three with a Rancored Dryad, which I was eventually able to Keg away, and that gave me plenty of time to triple-Rancor my Bird, find a Mask for fun and serve for an embarrassing amount of lovin’.

Josh Holbrook and his White Weenie came to play, yo. And play he did. I can in no way, shape or form, race a turn two Soltari, turn three Empyrial Armor… But it was close enough that I didn’t feel too bad. If an Armored shadow guy isn’t annoying enough for everyone, how about him casting Serra Angel and then Cataclysm to seal game two. Sup with Serra in a White Weenie deck?

Jeez, 2-2. Still, beating the living piss out of Josh Smith’s deck was sexy. After the tourney, I beat Mike, playing said Smithian deck, four or five games in a row, which leads me to believe that I just may be on to a decent deck idea. In addition, if Brendan hadn’t been Johnny Sideboard Drawer, I might have scraped out a victory there too.

Vs. Net Decks – 1-1, but they were both some goodness.

Vs. Scary Crossroads Guy Decks – 1-1, but who plays Crossroads decks?

Things: Gibbons is too sexy for my cat, and Herd is even more amazing. Hell, even Stag was some damned fine imitation fatness, and if he isn’t the easiest Hidden guy to wake up that isn’t blue or white, then I’ll eat a random hat and like it.

Deed isn’t that big of a deal. Usually, by the time they are ready to Deed, I’ve drawn somewhere in the neighborhood of six or seven extra cards, making the likelihood of dropping an Enchantress and starting anew quite, well, likely. Plus, they better get that Deed in a freakin’ hurry.

Twenty-seven enchantments seems like a whole hella bunch, but I often drew my card praying that it wasn’t a dude or a land. Drawing six lands in row against Brenden was so dumb that I’m considering ringing up that lawyer that I don’t have.

Not being able to deal with an oppossing permanent is annoying to no end. However, in order to do more than watch on my opponents’ turns, I’d have to add a second color. That could be fun, but one more try should tell the tale of the tape.

I’m going back to the third and fourth Stag in place of two Seals of Strength, which leaves one damned slot to fill. What the hell is a”one-of” that is both an enchantment and relevant? Hall of Gemstone? Abundance? A third Mask? Broken Fall? A random Bind? This question, dear reader, is without an answer, at least for the rest of this paragraph.

Dude, how sick is…

Karmic Justice

2W

Enchantment

Whenever a spell or ability an opponent controls destroys a noncreature permanent you control, you may destroy target permanent that opponent controls.

Deed away all of my enchantments, will you? Well, how’s about me destroying all of your permanents to teach you a lesson?

Okay, Sylvan Library it is. The card is just too sick for life. So sick that, even though I have so little experience in using it, I’ll go to two copies and drop a Stag. So there.

“[Alan] Comer can afford to draw his way in now. He has different ideas, though. ‘I came to make Day 3, not Day 2.’ Pity his Round 7 opponent.”

Aaron Forsythe

As G-Money said in”New Jack City,”Booya!”

Another twenty dudes or so show for the Saturday cash tourney, but only one who can draw thirty cards in one turn.

Chris Deroche, some guy who’s like, in the top five in Maine, is my fun-lovin’ first round opponent. They say that Kamiel plays”deliberate”? Chris believes that deliberate play is for the reckless. And he’s playing Super Gro, a”deliberate” deck if ever there was one.

His first-turn Brainstorm only takes about two minutes to resolve. I dropped Library and, as the good players had suggested, I drew all three. I did it again the next turn, which allowed me to fill my hand with so much gas that it was quite gas-like. However, Johnny Little Lands couldn’t find more than a Cradle and one stinkin’ Forest to go with the hand of Bombay.

The second game was a little more fair with my turn 1 Gibbons, turn 2 Herd, but when Chris awoke both on his next turn, I realized that it was just a matter of time before he Submerged one and Swordsed the other. Oh, and he had his own fat guys to join the party.

James Kindness, Johnny Sligh if there ever was one, thought he could drop the bombs on me, but before he knew it, I had three Gibbons, three Herds, and other assorted deterrents to his smashing of face. Too bad for James that he ended up with four Barbarian Rings in his hand. He tried vainly to survive long enough to accrue twenty points worth of burn, but my fatties weren’t that patient.

Game two is all about James having friggin’ Firebolts and Seal of Fire, neither of which wake any of my stuff. I was able to form a line of defense with a couple Elite, but they just can’t mess wif da Ball Lightning – and while City of Solitude doesn’t permit James to burn a dude I try to make fatter in response, that doesn’t mean he can’t just be Johnny Beat You On My Turn.

A turn five kill was icing on the cake of life in game three. With a sexy hand that never drew an Enchantress, I stood virtually no chance.

Some guy named Mario ReallylongItalianlastname brought a W/G concoction to the table for round three. He was a-castin’ Noble Panthers and Rancor and double Soul Wardens, which ended up gaining him in the vicinity of thirty life or so, but I was unperturbed. I was able to start to go off next turn when he cast a friggin’ Spike Weaver. Funny. I made fat-ass Birds (37/38 or so), but I couldn’t outlast the Weaver. In fact, I lost because I depleted my library. Heh.

The second game was hilarious. I have the Bombay, ridiculous opening, but Mario C Can’t Front On That drops three Rancor on Noble Panther. Oh, and he Plowed a Bird when I tried to Mask it up. Of course it was”in response.” Friggin’ Birds. Friggin'”in response.”

Ban the stack.

The last round is against some kid I don’t know and who’s name I forgot, for I am simply Johnny Dice User and not Mr. Pen And Pad in these tourneys. But his name was Ben because I am resourceful and checked out my ratings history. Clever, huh? He was with an interesting W/R/U deck. I won on turn 4 in game one: Forest, Exploration, Birds, followed by Stag, land, followed by double Rancor the Stag attack for seven, followed by Mask. Dude, Stag isn’t that good, is he?

Game two was just as godly, but I had to draw about thirty cards on turn five to win. I attacked with two Masked and Rancored Birds, a Stag, and had City of Solitude hanging out just in case.

Dear White Knight,

You can’t front on that, although Mario C might be able to.

Love,

A guy who learned about first strike the hard way

1-3 isn’t sexy.

Man, I need to add some blue or something.

Yep, that’s the solution. When you run into a brick wall, don’t fall, for you know what to do: Add blue. Kinda catchy, ain’t it?

Yeah, me neither.

Still hating not being able to deal with the other guy’s stuff. Oh, in case you were wondering, Sligh is an awful matchup. Put that one in your”no friggin’ shizzou, chief” file.

Jeff was giddy at the thought of helping me tweak the deck into a Trade Routes kind of combo deck, since he barely escaped Melissa DeToro’s version of said combo Enchantress at the last PTQ. Seal of Removal, Legacy’s Allure, and Lilting Refrain were discussed – but then Frantic Search was added to the mix, and of course Trade Routes, Stroke, and perhaps Kaervek’s Torch.

Those freakin’ Emmerts love their Torches something fierce.

To teach those combo mavens a lesson, and also because I have less of an attention span than I did before, I went home and did this:

// 0cc

4x Force of Will

4x Land Grant

// 1cc

4x Seal of Removal

3x Hidden Herd

3x Hidden Gibbons

3x Brainstorm

2x Swords to Plowshares

// 2cc

4x Lilting Refrain

4x Legacy’s Allure

4x Argothian Enchantress

3x Winged Sliver

4x Muscle Sliver

4x Crystalline Sliver

// land

4x Tropical Island

3x Savannah

3x Island

2x Flood Plain

2x Undiscovered Paradise

What the hell is that? Well, it’s a combination of Counter Sliver without the counters, Enchantress without Rancor and Miracle Gro without the Miracle nor the Grow. But it does have perhaps the jankiest mana base in the history of mana bases, and jank for that matter.

In one phrase, it has a little bit of everything, but I chose to exclude plenty of good cards like the rest of the”good stuff” decks ordinarily sport.

AndyStok: What is your reaction to Gary Wise… Remaining on the train?

PTR: Disappointed, dejected…

Ryan Fuller: That is utter bulls**t and I’m sadly disappointed…

Dear Gary,

Did you ever know that you’re my hero?

Love,

The guy wiping the boogers from your dome

Anyone that can”disappoint” PTR and Fuller is doing something right. Gary wrote an article right before the PT that he was going to bear down; he’d quit sucking around and friggin’ bring it. There is a lesson to be learned in his article and follow up performance.

Learn it. And be sure to shave.

Gary had just about the whole world, or at least plenty of PT regulars, celebrating his demise when he fell off the train. While Donnie Gallitz may steal most of the headlines (and his tale is certainly good times), the real story of PT: San Diego has to be one guy taking on the world, in a hostile environment no less…

12 Gary Wise

13 Ryan Fuller

Boo

Friggin’

Ya

By the way, after fishing the deck for a few hours, I fell head over heels in love with SliverChantressGrow. Of course, I often am led around by my”little head” when it comes to properly evaluating my decks and the construction of such, and the end result is usually something less than stellar, as evidenced by just about every Constructed report I’ve ever written.

And where the hell have Slivers been? Is Deed that damned good? Well, yeah, it is, but it does have to resolve. Pity that Slivers wouldn’t have any way to subvert any and all Deed-related actions (Interdict? Bind?).

Okay, Slivers are cute and all, but they just don’t get big enough fast enough, especially when compared to Mystic Enforcer and fat Werebears.

The best euphemism for the up-and-coming, flavor-of-the-month”You’re s***” that I’ve heard so far has to be edt’s little ditty:

“You could use a little improvement.”

After all, he did Dave Meddish one better and actually, really and truly, God’s honest truth, ate his friggin’ hat.

From the”You knew I’d bring it up if I was even close” file:

6) A virtual unknown will win a Pro Tour this year, and I mean it this time. (50% chance)

1. Farid Meraghni (France) $30,000

Sexy.

I just read about the Magic Online pricing policy, and I have only one thing to say…

Heh.

Peep this:

01/04/02 Booster @ Crossroad Games 2

01/04/02 Booster @ Crossroad Games 3

12/17/01 Booster @ Crossroad Games 2

12/07/01 Booster @ Crossroad Games 3

12/03/01 Booster @ Crossroad Games 5

11/30/01 Booster @ Crossroad Games2

Wow, look at all those Top Eights! I am Limited personified. I guess Gary Wise won’t be writing those”Torment in Limited” articles, since I am now the guru on the subject. Be sure to (not) look for my review of Torment: Black in Limited on the Sideboard.

After reading Nate Heiss tale of lovin’ from the oven over on Brainburst, I realized that Meddling Mage is a beating. Oh, and everything is still his fault, no matter how much he denies it. In fact, here’s how you can tell that he feels guilty about it…

Fact-Finder: Is it really your fault, Nate?

Nate: No!

Busted.

While the Slivers were some friggin’ good, I soon became bored with them, for I can’t keep the same deck for more than four or five days without messing with it’s program. Also, 2/2’s aren’t exactly impressive. Thusly:

// 0cc

4x Force of Will

4x Land Grant

// 1cc

4x Seal of Removal

3x Hidden Herd

3x Hidden Gibbons

3x Brainstorm

2x Swords to Plowshares

// 2cc

4x Lilting Refrain

4x Legacy’s Allure

4x Argothian Enchantress

4x Spiketail Hatchling

4x Meddling Mage

// 4cc

2x Mystic Enforcer

// land

4x Tropical Island

4x Tundra

4x Savannah

2x Flood Plain

1x Island

It’s almost like a really bad Stasis deck, isn’t it? Trying to be the control when you want to be the beatdown results in a deck like the one above. Do not try this at home, at work, during sex (although you can get away with it during the post-coitus cuddling), or at a PTQ near you.

Post-coitus cuddling. Man, that’s fun to say, especially since post-coitus cuddling went out of style with parachute pants and moonwalking. (I still do it – The Ferrett, never been hip but always one for the ladeez) Man, I wish they still made parachute pants, for I would up and bust a windmill into a crabwalk into a hand glide into a crotch-grabbing freeze at the next PTQ.

Oh, how I miss breakdancing.

Dear Abby,

During post-coitus cuddling, is it acceptable to discreetly ask your partner if they would mind if you opened up your toolbox and showed them your Sexual Chocolate?

Love,

Mintbox in Maine

You know how the good players always seem to call something relevant with Meddling Mage? Well, as we know, I’m not really a”good” player, now am I? Spiketail Hatchling is a sexy bird bitch indeed, but I felt I needed something that was a little sexier for my cat.

Less than a day later, this is what happened…

// 0cc (8)

4x Force of Will

4x Land Grant

// 1cc (22)

4x Seal of Removal

4x Tithe

4x Brainstorm

3x Hidden Herd

3x Hidden Gibbons

2x Telepathy

2x Swords to Plowshares

// 2cc (16)

4x Argothian Enchantress

4x Meddling Mage

3x Lilting Refrain

3x Spiketail Hatchling

3x Legacy’s Allure

// 4cc (1)

1x Mystic Enforcer

// land (12)

4x Tropical Island

4x Tundra

4x Savannah

That’s what they call”progressing downward,” with”downward” meaning”making it suckier.” At this point, I’m wondering why I didn’t just stay with the mono green version and add 4x Seal or something else minor that could be major.

Notice how the number of enchantments keeps dwindling? Yeah, me too. I could always cut the Hatchlings, right? Nah, they’re pretty damned tighty, Whitey. At this point, what I can do is ask myself what is the worst card in the deck and then remove it and then repeat.

The”worst” card would probably be (as judged by”everyone,” as in”that card sucks, everyone says”) Telepathy, Hidden Herd, or Hidden Gibbons, with Spiketail Hatchling or Lilting Refrain coming in a close second. But”they” don’t want to play an Enchantress deck badly enough to use such bad cards, now do they? So, cutting enchantments seems like an idea that would not be borne of a desire to cast friggin’ enchantments.

Extended rulez. But please, someone make some good 1cc enchantments.

Never made it as a lineman. Couldn’t cut it as a Pittsburgh Steeler. Tired of livin’ on the sidelines…

The Pittsburgh Steelers: More degrees than Kevin Bacon

After realizing that I was inadvertently moving to a”Grow” type deck, JJ Stors (hey, I spelt it rite) dropped me some lovin.’ We talked about our respective love lives, our hopes and dreams, made plans for a slumber party and even, a little, chatted up Enchantress something fierce. Yo, his current version is still better than any of mine, but he finally pushed me into the full-on Gro mode by the sheer power of suggestion.

I sent him one of my decklists, the Sliver one I believe, and he agreed that the G/W needed a little help. Seal of Removal is the one card that makes it worthwhile to add blue, and we were both heading that way for the last week or so.

No, you don’t understand just how good that card is. But you will when you see it in action below.

// 0cc

4x Force of Will

4x Land Grant

// 1cc

4x Seal of Removal

3x Rancor

4x Sleight of Hand

4x Brainstorm

4x Tithe

2x Swords to Plowshares

// 2cc

4x Lilting Refrain

4x Legacy’s Allure

4x Argothian Enchantress

4x Werebear

3x Auratog

// 4cc

2x Mystic Enforcer

// land

4x Tropical Island

3x Tundra

3x Savannah

Sideboard:

4x Chill

3x Emerald Charm

1x Swords to Plowshares

1x Worship

2x Absolute Law

2x Gilded Drake

2x Interdict

Wow, that’s what they call”some freakin’ ugly,” ain’t it? What the hell does this deck want to do? Dude, play a net deck and be done with it. It’s a fun deck and quite unorthodox, which will likely equate with a few”dude, cool deck” or”neat idea” and a long stay in the Sligh bracket. In my defense, I call Kevin Meany to the stand.

Mintz: Mr. Meany, why that deck?

KM: I don’t care, I don’t care. My decks don’t go over I don’t care. I’m happy-go-lucky, women call me plucky…

He wasn’t much of a one-trick pony, now was he?

A little testing before, during and after FNM and I’ll be off to the races.

Dante Rowland, head pimpmaster at CCGPrime, found himself immersed in Maine for a few weeks and was looking for some free mints. Thusly, he rang me up and we talked for hours and hours about that really cute boy in Biology. Also, he headed on down to FNM to mess with the program, and boy did he ever.

He grabbed an Extended deck and off we went; me with my unsexy EnchantressGroThingy and he with some broken white/black concoction. Lemme just say that Allure is golden against little Shadow guys, and Werebear and Auratog laugh at Cursed Scroll (eventually). We split a few games and then it was off to pound on CoryA and his Twenty-Land-Ten-Land Green/Stompy/Anti-Deed.dec.

River Boa is sexy to steal when I can regenerate his ass too. But Wasteland hurts. A lot. Fair times will be had by all if a whole bunch of guys play Stompy. However, something tells me that they won’t.

Oh yeah, Dante.

Since he was sitting on my right for the draft, he got sammiched in between two guys who were taking green. Apparently, after he noticed that the green was drying up in a hurry, he went into black, and me passing him a second pick Mortivore might have been a signal as well.

Debate: Do you first-pick Mortivore or Wild Mongrel?

When in doubt (as if I really was in doubt), take the card that more closely resembles a household pet. And that’s the kind of sage advice you can (not) read in my Limited reviews on the Sideboard.

Spectral Lynx or Mudhole? Which card more closely resembles a household pet?

I think I proved my point with that example.

Sorry, chief, but I wanted those 3x Rabid Elephant and 3x Krosan Avenger. Poor Dante – stuck in the middle with Bruce and all the mediocre black and blue cards he could eat.

Oh.

I finally beat Lucky Brenden.

Afterwards, I had to excuse myself so I could go off in a little corner and”congratulate” myself. Repeatedly. Many times in a row.

Since I had to leave after round three, I can’t say for certain that Dante came wit’ it now, but it didn’t look good for a brother.

Dear Dante,

Welcome to Earth.

Love,

The Fresh Prince of Maine

I went home, pulled apart the deck and examined all of my options, which were basically narrowed down to one: get rid of the friggin’ Enchantress and play a real deck. But I’m nothing if not stubborn. Sometimes. Here and there.

Wow, so much stuff happened that I doubt I can cram it all in. Oh wait, the phrase”cram it all in” does not really apply to Johnny Sixty Page Report.

It’s a Christmas miracle – twelve Crossroads guys at one PTQ. Holy piss?

I met the boyz at 5:40, which seemed a tad early – but hey, if you’re not early then you’re late and all kinds of stuff like that that prospective employers love to hear. Two carloads arrived in Brighton at 7:30. Heh. Might as well hang at Dunkin Donuts, which, in the New England region, apparently, are all owned and/or operated by Mid-Eastern families. And that’s kind of weird.

Since the contributions to the Foily Five have been downright ridiculous in quantity and quality as well, a fresh bust out seemed in order.

Myself, Alex, Dante, Jackal Pop, Andrew The Answer Boy, and Da’ Judge Dat Never Budge – Matt Villamaino, threw down some love. Christ, there were bombs to the left of me and jokers to my right, but it all boiled down to Dante being ready to die but deciding to give Pop, the sole survivor, a little edge on yours truly.

Dante gave his Questing Pheldagriff flying four times and pumped it thrice, with Pop lovin’ life, and Dante, much in return. I had Ertai, the new one not the effeminate one , Necra Sanctuary and Lashknife Barrier, the pro: blue Voice, Stormscape Familiar and about 40 life to Pop’s bunch of nothing, at least until that CCGPrime jag off bent me over and screwed my ass ten ways from Sunday.

That bastard. But I’m not mad anymore. Much.

The list o’ Net Deckers:

Brian, who Pop described to me upon meeting as”he’s cool, he’s short,” with Benzo

Alex with Sligh, with 4x Price of Progress main

Andrew The Answer Boy with Finkel-Go

Deejer with Miracle Oath (yes, it’s ten lands and it’s Oath)

Pop with Junk

Chris Deroche with Turbo Land

Jeff Emmert with Super Grow

CoryA with Twenty Land Green

Mike Emmert with Trix (yes, I said”Trix”)

Nick with Junk

Eric with Sligh

Let’s put faces to the names once and for all:

(From front L: Brian, Chris Deroche, Jeff, CoryA, Andrew The Answer Boy, Alex, Deejer, Mike, Pop with his back to the camera)

And, awarded Honorary Crossroads guy for the day, Dante, with No Green Junk.

That’s many dudes that you just skipped right past. And thanks for that.

The list of”name” players was mostly limited to Mouth, although Jill (in-tow with Brian the BF), who hasn’t really ever gotten over me, and Josh Smith were seen moping around. Pity the qualified peeps; too bad they don’t get to play.

This is the part where you play some sad music on a violin and think about Paris.

And we’re off after three hours of coffee, smokes and more mints than you can shake a stick at. But why would you want to shake a stick at my mints?

Round 1: F33ture match vs. Walter Egli playing Zombies From Hell

This was his opening hand in game one:

Swamp, Vamp, Krovikan Horror x3, Nether Spirit, Zombie Infestation.

Yeah, he won that one, right quick too, and it wasn’t even my fault. I guess I should’ve known to mulligan until I had a Force in my opening hand.

The second game was a little more fair, with me dropping 2x Argothian and the Auratog/Rancor dealio, but he had his own”little engine that could” with Infestation. I dropped a couple of Allure and got them up to two counters each, and when he declared his attack I decided to try to win. I stole two of his guys and he simply Massacred after his null attack. Heh. My board: not a lot. His: Not much, but more than me.

I did manage to recover with 2x fat Werebear, but he made a ton of zombies and dropped Contamination. Of the three things that I did not want to lose to this Extended season, a Contamination lock was in the top three.

Quite anticlimactic, but my deck is very neat and was almost resilient enough. Powder Keg in the board – who does that?

(You’d think Walter could crack a smile at that broken game one hand, for I LOL’d and ROFL’d and such.)

0-1 Fault: not mine

Round 2: Barrett Hathaway playing Oath

In game one, we played a classic control vs. control matchup. I dropped an early dude and he dropped Oath. I was able to Force it, but not the one that followed soon after. However, since my early dude was Mystic Enforcer, I made some love with Lilting Refrains and Legacy’s Allure. Barrett Oathed up Spike Weaver and I stopped playing dudes immediately. Instead, I drew a ton of cards and collected a handful of sex and put a lot of counters on my growing enchantments.

At one point, I had thirteen counters on one Allure, eight on another, seven on a Refrain and three on a second. Walter had a Seal of Cleansing, that friggin’ Weaver, Sylvan Library, and then he tried to play Wild Research. On that stack, I sacced the big Refrain, leaving him three untapped lands if he chose to resolve it, and he Sealed the big Allure in response. I sacced the little Allure to try to take his Weaver and gave him the choice: I’d just sac the other Refrain if he paid the seven, making him lose the Weaver or resolve Research. He chose to let the Weaver defect, knowing that I intended to Swords it and gain the life – but more importantly, remove its annoying ass from the game, but he had Force. But so did I.

That whole bunch of stack love did nothing much, since I didn’t play another dude until about turn 30, at which point Walter had about nine cards in his library and Morphling. I assumed Morphling was there, since Ancient Hydra was in the yard from a second Allure/Refrain/Swords war that he ended up winning, and no one plays Oath with only two dudes and no Morphling, right? He had a Blessing left as well to trigger, but I had Enforcer, 3x Werebear and Auratog in hand, with two Rancor still in my library. I figured he’s get Morphling and I could race, since I was at thirty-two from assorted Swords and whatnots.

He turned over his cards to Oath and ran out of cards. Huh? When he turned over the last card he simply said”I lose, I have an illegal decklist.” Get that? Instead of trying to pull a fast one by just saying”Blessing triggers” and bluffing like he only runs two creatures, he did the right thing and admitted his error. It’s certainly possible that I would have asked where Morphling is, but the only way I could really know if he was cheating was to call a judge and ask for a deck check.

Rather that try to sneak out a 0-0 draw, he copped to the boo-boo. That’s worth some kudos, and not only because he may have thought he was caught. Sometimes people do the right thing immediately because they know it’s right. Barrett did.

I tip my lid to an honest brother. He gets a bunch of good guy points, which can be accrued and redeemed for a generous slice of good karma. At participating retailers only. Pricing and participation may vary.

Examples of good sportsmanship: One.

(Barrett holds up Morphling and smiles, while I am still stunned.)

1-1

Round 3: Alex Buck playing Sligh

Man, dude’s deck is fast. Seal of Removal slows him down a little, but he has two Barbarian Rings by turn 3. Add a Fanatic here and a Rage there and you have one dead guy with minty breath. Two Enforcer hits make Jack a dull boy… And don’t do twenty all by themselves. Friggin’ Sligh.

Game two was a sexy opening hand of 3x Chill, 1x Absolute Law, Worship and 2x Argothian. I almost kept that because drawing every card you sided in on your opening hand never happens. Okay, sometimes, but you never get the land or Land Grant, which makes up for the”good fortune” of drawing the hate. A second mulligan leads to me with five cards and less than a prayer. I managed to draw like a god (Savannah and three Tithes in the next three draws), but I could only smack Alex once with an Enforcer before he dropped the negative integer on my ass.

(Upon readying for the pose, Alex may or may not have said,”Should I stick my tongue in your ear?” or”Should I grab your ass?” I may or may not have said”Dude, where’s my car?” or”Won’t you take me to…Funkytown?” However, we settled for the”Married guy Wonder Twin powers, activate… Form of a serious drubbing!”)

1-2 Starting to think about blaming Nate

Dante: Dammit, why can’t I play against Sligh?!

Round 4: Nick Cogley playing Secret Force

Dante gets to play against Sligh. Druthers or retribution?

I think I figure out what Nick is playing when he Natural Orders out Verdant Force on turn 3. However, a Seal for Goodest Fatty Ever and Allure for Druid Lyrist and a token allows me to beat down with”stuff that blue stole” and two sexy Enforcers.

Game two is all about Nick getting the double-Wasteland draw. At least it was over quickly.

The third game has reached a stalemate with Nick’s Weaver. I have a fat Enforcer and a Rancored ‘Tog waiting for those funny counters to deplete. Just before they do, Nick plays another Weaver. Heh, more than one? That’s fair. Since I’m no longer playing the mono-green auto scoop version, I’m content to serve with a fattie flyer and wait it out. Then Nick casts Penumbra Wurm. I add another Enforcer and we look at each other’s red zone, anxious to turn fatties a this way and a that.

I’m at two and Nick’s at ten, but he has Wurm, Weaver, two Treetops, Lyrist and an elf to my double Enforcer and ‘Tog. Obviously, he should send in the clowns and hold back da’ Weaves, but he simply says go, which allows me to Swords da’ Weaves end of turn and bring my own clowns to the party. Either way, it looked bad for him because Enforcer is the Best Fatty Ever Printed In Odyssey With A Casting Cost Of 2WG.

(There’s my old”look away” pose, but I have an excuse: it’s been so long that I forgot how to be a street hood thug scumbag white trash. Give me time and I’m sure I’ll remember how to bring it. As they say on irc: pls/thx. Or something.)

2-2 Something tells me that my deck r00lz, d00d.

Dante mauled Sligh: Absolute Law, Mo Runes, Paladin en-Vec and Soltari Priest are pretty good against red. Or something. Good times for Dante.

JJ was going off against some guy playing some deck, and when the guy realized he had no prayer he started to lawyer. He called over the judge because JJ didn’t draw a card from an Enchantress before casting another spell. Dude had three creatures in his hand and nothing else when JJ goes to Rancor up Auratog, the guy hems and haws for a full minute before”allowing” it to resolve. Uncle Stors doesn’t immediately draw the card when he casts an enchantment, but says”put card drawing on the stack.” With dude pulling the”lemme think about that Rancor” move, JJ forgetting to draw a card seems like an intentionally triggered effect.

Da Judge Dat Don’t Budge comes over, issues a caution and goes on his merry way. Later, on the same turn, JJ casts Ancestral Mask. Dude pauses for another minute,”lets” it resolve, JJ draws his card and the guy calls the judge again. He claims JJ didn’t draw the card, but two or three guys said they saw him draw the card (I wasn’t sure because I was getting pissed at dikboy’s attempted mise), so Johnny Budgeless issues a warning and moves on. Mise Boy was trying to get a game loss or something, but Judge Rock wasn’t going to fall into an obviously blatant attempt to mise.

It was all academic at this point, and when JJ served for at least thirty, dude still hesitated before scooping. Smiley J offered his hand and said something along the lines of”Hey, you had to do what you could, no hard feelings.”

Hmm, methinks that there is a line that should not be crossed in an attempt to win. Dude crossed it first by thinking about countering Rancor, then Mask. I concede that that’s not illegal, but I think it borders on more than a little”iffy.” Calling the judge twice wasn’t really awful, but slow-playing in the hope that JJ makes a procedural error is. When you’re beaten, don’t try to be a jag-off – you lost, deal with it and move on.

That’s not to say that you should scoop when a guy has ten dudes to your three and you’re at one; hoping your opponent might make a play mistake is certainly acceptable. Trying to bore him into forgetting to draw a card, then winning on a technicality, is quite another. Friggin’ Pro Tour mentality at its best, ain’t it?

Examples of bad sportsmanship: One

Round 5: Howard Hakunnir playing Sligh

Let me tell you a story about a guy named Rizzo who saw his opponent drop a turn 2 Kavu Titan in an Extended tourney and immediately placed said opponent in a predefined”scrub” box. Yep, Rizzo thought this kid was a stick and vastly underestimated his play skills. Did it cost him?

Hells friggin’ yes.

I was at ten and Howard was at nine. I had a fat Enforcer, Auratog, and a stolen Llanowar Elf with Brainstorm and FoW in hand, while The H had a Jackal Pup and two cards in hand. During his turn…

Howard: Incinerate Auratog?

Rizzo: In response, Brainstorm.

Howard: In response, Price of Progress you for ten.

Rizzo looks at five nonbasics and realizes that this is a trap he can’t escape even if he gnaws off his own foot.

I fell right into his trap because I underestimated his ability to comprehend such complex ideals such as”the stack.” I lost a game I couldn’t possibly lose because I thought he was a stick. The proper play is to let the ‘Tog die, which means I have to wait an extra turn to kill him, but I Brainstormed for absolutely no reason whatsoever and paid heavily for thinking I was the shizzou.

Lesson: Never underestimate your opponent – for if you do, you’ll most likely be overheard bitching about how some lucky scrub ass topdecked exactly what he needed to beat you. Yep, it’s never your fault. Ever. Be sure to bemoan your bad luck and the fact that someone you think sucks doesn’t.

“Never take your eyes off your opponent, even when you bow.”

-Bruce Lee, y’all, bad ass mofo who could kick the living hizell out of Van Damme, Steven Seagal and all those rappers who think they’re action stars.

The second game was all about me casting Auratog/Rancor on turn 3 instead of Chill. He Torched that bad boy and I never recovered, even after casting three Chills. Having never played with Chill in a sanctioned tourney, I learned the hard way that it should hit the board in a hurry – before you try to just win by smashing face.

Guy to buddy: How’d you do?

Buddy: Dude, he got so lucky.

It should be:

Guy to buddy: How’d you do?

Buddy: Dude was better than I thought.

There is no pic because someone took the pic but didn’t. Gee, that never happens, does it? However, I come prepared with bonus pics of Jilly Jill and the Funky Bunch for no other reason than”because I have a camera and you don’t.”

(Aw, look, it’s our first fight.)

But, give Johnny a little time to work the sweet talk…

(But, after playing the role, we’ve made up, for no mere mortal can resist the evil of the Thriller. Or maybe it’s the mints.)

2-3 It’s my own fault, sucka. At least in this match.

JJ was playing Pop in a”who do you root for?” deathmatch, with Pop winning game one and having game two almost in the friggin’ bag. JJ drew what would likely be his last card and went off from nowhere. No, we don’t know how or why – and he doesn’t, either – but after taking a ten minute turn, he had a bazillion/bazillion Birds with triple Force backup. Yeah, he came wit’ it now.

The third game goes like this:

From turn two:

Pop: Duress you.

JJ: Argothian.

Pop: Verdict you. Verdict you. Heh.

JJ: Verduran with no hand remaining.

Pop: Lynx and Boa.

JJ: Draw Rancor and start to go off, but wisely hold a spare Argothian and a few random enchantments back.

Pop: Deed. Heh.

JJ: Hmm. Again, he starts to draw mad cards, but Pop Deeds for two to chill out on that madness. He lost his Lynx and Boa, but he had double Call of the Herd in hand, so it looked good for him and awful for JJ. I say it”looked” awful if you considered JJ’s board. His hand, however, was fair enough indeed.

Pop: Mystic Enforcer and Call.

JJ: Argo, Exploration, Seal, etc. Repeat until JJ has twenty or so cards in hand with double-Force backup. JJ was stuck with a Rancor in hand and no target, so I figured he’d put it on the Call token to start going off. He did, bounced the token, put Rancor on the Enforcer and drew into serious gas – including Birds with an Ancestral Mask – making it an 8/9, big enough to take down the 8/6 Enforcer. At end of turn, JJ grinned the biggest, nuttiest grin you have ever seen. He maintained that grin for about two full minutes.

Pop: Draw and hope.

JJ: Run over his ass for a billion.

Heh. Seal of Removal has a cute little added effect of allowing you to Rancor up an opposing dude on a whim. It’s that damned good. Of course, you could Swords your own dude in response, if you were so inclined, and as a matter of fact, that’s not a terrible idea. Or as they say in Maine,”ideAR.”

The feature match for this round was Mike Emmert, 3-1, vs. Jeff Emmert, 3-1. Oh, how the DCI reporter is a fickle mistress. What to do? As shining examples of brotherly love, they decided to ID and try to win out. However, the match would’ve been sexy and seventeen you know what I mean.

(Alas, it’s the Ali-Frazier, Ali-Spinks, Ali-Norton, Ali-Parkinsons match that never was.)

Why do people love Ali? He was a draft-dodging, trash-talking punk, and now he’s like a national freakin’ treasure. Whatever.

Alex is 5-0 and figuring on IDing into Top Eight. There are only two other 5-0’s, so he has a 50/50 chance of having to play.

Alex to me: Should I ID?

Me: Do you want to make Top Eight?

Alex: Um, okay.

Me: Then ID. But play. Or ID. Or something.

No wonder the youth of the nation are so retarded; mixed messages from the elders are sexy.

Everyone else except Dante and Pop had already dropped. Dudes?

Round 6: Scott Byam playing some seriously pissed off Elves

In game one, Scott opens with Quirion Ranger, Priest of Titania, Llanowar Sentinel, and Elvish Lyrist. The next turn, he dropped Cradle and Coat of Arms. Holy Bakula, Pikula, and Peek At You. I died a noble death, grisly as it was.

The second game starts of much the same, except that I’m able to Allure the Priest. Scott simply drops Elvish Champion and starts to beat. I drop ‘Tog and Rancor and realize that Forestwalk is very bad for me, unless I can survive this turn and ‘Tog him to death.

Hey, if you had Coat of Arms and a bunch of elves, would you play it? I hope that ya’ would.

His 4/4 elves served for twelve or so, but I did survive. I only needed to do seventeen with a 4/4 Priest and a Rancored ‘Tog. Who do you think I am… JJ? Alas, friggin’ Tundras don’t tap for green mana, thus I served for fourteen and wondered if Scott would attack me to death next turn. Weird thing: He did.

(Since Matty Too Hatty wasn’t in attendance, he passed down his birth rite to Scott, who upheld the family honor.)

2-4 Don’t worry, they’re just elves. Seriously, they’re only 1/1s.

Mike and Jeff both lost, so be sure to remember the tourney where they both lost in the same round, for it may never happen again.

Round 7: John”La Isla” Bonito playing Enchantress (pre”add blue” version)

I could go into great detail about this match, but I have counters and Allure, while he doesn’t. When he plays a Verduran, I drop Allure and take it immediately. When he plays Auratog, he isn’t doing much against a Seal or two. Heh, I get to do some”in response to Rancor” stuff now.

I remember how cool it was to go off with the G/W version and then just lose to something with blue. Who da’ beatdown? The guy who has questions and answers has now assumed control of both.

(This is how I give”scared straight tough love” seminars. In this case, the lesson was”add blue.”) (Does this look like some sort of excerpt from The Sixth Sense or what? – The Ferrett)

3-4 Ever get the feeling that you were on to something, but were missing just enough that the”something” was out of reach? I bet you haven’t, you damned net deckers.

Pop ended up losing and lost any chance he might have had to squeak into Top Eight, Dante lost as well ending up 4-3 and I, well… I had some friggin’ fun ass times with a deck that I love.

But no one said”cool deck” or”dude, you are quite the Rogue.” Cry? Well, I sobbed a little.

My deck ruled – seven rounds and only three mulligans. Tithe is godlike – thanks, Nate, but it’s still your fault. Seal of Removal and Legacy’s Allure – just what Enchantress always wanted. If I had to change anything, I’d go up to twelve land and find room for two Verdurans and maybe a few more counters. Everything else was sexy, especially Tithe and Seal. I’m considering taking pictures of my deck and putting them above the bed. Almost.

Top Eight:

1. Aaron Vanderbeek, Miracle Gro (Long version)

2. Paul Rietzel, Super Gro

3. Alex, Sligh

4. JJ, Enchantress

5. Mischa Bauermeister, Super Gro

6. Chris Roy, Sligh

7. Dennis Tsao, Sligh

8. Brian Whatever Lynch, Tradewind Prison

I wandered to and fro between the Alex/Chris and JJ/Mischa matches. Sligh vs. Sligh isn’t always exciting, especially when Alex just rools Chris with judicious use of Wasteland and ridiculously Scrolling him for twenty. Oddly, neither player cast a Jackal Pup.

However, JJ’s match was cool times. In the first game, JJ went off on turn six by making Mischa counter everything, knocking him down to two cards in hand, with Looter and Werebear on the table. To say that JJ took a ten minute turn would not be an exaggeration. He drew upwards of thirty cards and had 4x Force backup when he declared his 50/50 or so Bird.

No, Mischa’s Swords did not resolve.

“It’s like playing Turbo Land, except you win.”

-Mischa, minute seven of JJ’s long-ass turn

In the second game, all JJ could manage to resolve was a Rancored ‘Tog, which is normally not too shabby, but two fat Bears and Enforcer with a handful of no to back it up is a little too much to overcome.

The third game saw JJ mana screwed, although he did make a game of it. Mischa had two fat Enforcers and Werebears, and had a Meddling Mage naming Rancor. Although JJ had a Seal in play, he had four lands, with two being Legendary and producing one and zero mana respectively. As a last-ditch effort, JJ tapped out to cast Treachery on an Enforcer. Mischa figured that would be bad times, so he Submerged it in response. Friggin'”in response.”

Thus ends Doctor J’s tale of Enchantress love. In three PTQ’s, JJ made two Top Eights and missed a third on tiebreakers. As for my version, well, heh. Still, Enchantress gets no love. Sounds good to me, since I’ll be giving that bad boy a go next season. Unless I become a net decker.

Alex lost the next round to Aaron’s Miracle Grow. It wasn’t even close. Wild Mongrel is unfair against Sligh. Really. Winter Orb is unfair against Sligh.

This guy, this Rogue, is b0rken:

JJ Stors – the poster boy for Rogue

All y’all might take a little time to try to go Rogue, just for the fun of it. Just try it once – what are you gonna do, qualify? You can’t build your own deck and risk a bad showing at one stinkin’ qualifier? Sure you can. Dante did, and ended up better than I. Of course, he’s like – well, if he’s not better than me, he’s certainly tougher. And that’s all that matters in the end.

Yeah, yeah, we left before it ended because, hey, our boyz lost, dammit, and it was snowing like snow is coming back into style. Yes, we got lost on the way back, but Dante, who was following me for a while until I got a little too lost for his liking, got even more lost. Three hours later, we arrived at Crossroads. Deroche’s car was sitting in the lot, and since he drove with Dante, and we beat them back, we decided that his car was ripe for some lovin’.

If you dare leave your car unattended, you are fair game for the spilling of random commons and slogans, such as”1-3 drop,””I like men” (isn’t that creative and mature – blame Answer Boy or Nate) and other assorted Eighth Grade-type musings. Chris took it like a man when they arrived, but he didn’t say bye as he drove away. Heh.

Oh, how I wish there was another week or so of qualifiers, for G/U/w Enchantress certainly has potential. Alas, it’s Odyssey Block sealed up in here starting on Feb 9.

Now, I’ve run out of stuff to say. Oh…

Have fun at the Prerelease, y’all, and if the spoiler hasn’t given a rise to your member, then actually playing the cards probably will. From the looks of it, Torment looks amazingly complex – more so than the busting out of gold in Invasion or the graveyard love of Odyssey.

Oops, Wizards did it again, they made a cool set – got lost in the game.

I’m not that innocent.

Okay, I am.

John Friggin’ Rizzo