If anyone is interested in playing Goblins – first off, I hate you. Yeah that’s right, I hate you. Why? No, it isn’t because I’m some sort of nutty rogue deckbuilding elitist. It is not because you are a netdecker and netdecking is the devil. Those are all filthy lies distributed by the press. No, I hate because you are going to smash my face in. Over and over.
When I first saw the official spoiler for Darksteel, it didn’t take me long to find a card that excited me. In fact, I couldn’t stand up for several minutes after I first saw it. Kinda like seeing Laetitia Casta for the first time. It didn’t take long to find a card because the very first card alphabetically did it for me. Aether Vial is a damned sexy beast, if you ask me, and today we’re going to see if we can break it.
A few months ago, I wrote an article on Mirrodin Standard Suicide Black. Many of you mocked me. Now I’m back to kick your head in with BraidsGroom.
Regionals is the buzz indeed. You can’t find a place on the internet that discusses Magic without hearing about it. That’s highly understandable though. One of the things I enjoy about not having to attend Regionals this year is that I don’t have to hold back any thoughts about Constructed. I can spill my guts and let every last drop of information I have, on that aspect of the game, spill out for anyone who can use it. It’s a brand new experience for me, but one I like a lot. At heart, I’m a type who enjoys helping people as much as I can.
Most of the e-mails I received asked for further information on the Lynch Mob deck I posted under the”You Gotta Have Blueberries” column, so today I’ll give you an updated decklist, a play guide, and discuss a rogue budget deck for those of you looking to play Regionals on the cheap.
If the Regional championships were being held this weekend, do you know what deck you would be playing? Is it going to be something fun because you’re a casual player that likes to cast Eater of Days and Stifle the come into play ability? How about something aggressive so you can maximize the amount of relaxation you get in between rounds of the grueling all-day tournament? Whatever you choose to play at Regionals, you have to be well informed, and hopefully I can present to you a version of Astral Slide that has been devastating in my own testing.
I’ve been toying with Centaur Glade ever since it popped up in Onslaught. Anyone who played against it or with it in Limited knows how good it can be. It never made a splash in Constructed, though. It was too slow. Boy, oh, boy, does it give control decks fits, though. If you can resolve one against a control deck, you can hold all of those spells in your hand and make them deal with uncounterable 3/3 Centaur tokens. That’s nothing to sneeze at. The question remained: How can I make this card work? The answer always eluded me… until now.
Unless you have been hiding under a rock for about four months, you will know that the new and upcoming net-deck is Affinity. Those of you who kept track of Kobe progress will undoubtedly notice the high Affinity concentration, and more important, Skullclamp in Affinity. If you thought Skullclamp was good before, watch what happens when you throw it in a deck that casts half of its creatures for free.
Of course, that is Block Constructed, and this is Standard. While there are similarities, there is one card that makes a world of difference.
Nonbos are combos that almost work, but are either too slow or too inconsistent to win anything – at least, not every match in a long tournament. So, you ask, why should I read an article about combos that don’t work? Two reasons. First, knowing this may help you understand what a Regionals opponent is trying to do to you – at least in rounds one and two. These combos are good enough that people will try them. Second, I have wrongly called combos nonbos in the past. That means that there is a chance that I have the core of a real deck, but it just needs a little tuning.
People, I’ve got Death Cloud on my mind like Georgia. A lot of the decks I’ve been cooking up lately have been trained on finding the proper combination of Magical Cards that turn an otherwise symmetrical spell into a one-way trip down Broken Street. There are two particular builds that I’m working with right now — one mono-Black and one Black/Green.
So what you have with Skullclamp is a whole lot of people who know how good it is going to be and a smaller – but still substantial – number of people trying to figure out how to beat it. The thing is, you can’t necessarily go up against a Skullclamp and attack it directly. That’s like trying to play a G/W deck full of Uktabi Orangutans and Monk Realists in an attempt to beat Trix. Sure, you can technically destroy their relevant permanents, but you can’t do so in a timely enough manner for it to matter.
So what does a kid with a 2019 Contructed rating who can’t PTQ do for fun? Well apparently he goes 17-1 last weekend, winning oodles of prizes with a beatdown deck running four Skullclamps. Then he riffs on how Limited is like Legos, gives you deck construction recipes to avoid, and tosses in a rogue Vedalken Archmage deck to boot.
Way back when Mirrodin was still just Bacon, I was in rapture over Stompy Stomp. I had some good decks, and some laughs, but once the set actually came out, and the name changed to Tooth and Nail, I never got around to using it. It was always on my “decks to build” list, but nothing more. Then Kevin started beating on me with a Stompy Stomp deck last week, and I decided it was time to give it another try. In Type Two, no less.
The amazing thing is that the deck actually seems to work. Early Darksteel Colossus beatings are surprisingly effective…
I’m back with all the news that’s fit to print about Sarnia Affinity, the control Affinity deck that’s grown in popularity amongst Type Two players ever since it was first unveiled by J.M. Babin at Ontario Provincials. I’ve pretty much taken over”official” Sarnia Affinity deck development post-Provincials, first cleaning it up and putting together a decent sideboard for the first article and now, putting together, testing, and publishing the post-Darksteel edition.
The first time I played against a Suicide Black deck, I figured the guy was an idiot. Sure, Carnophage was a 2/2 for one mana. If he wanted to attack with it, though, he’d have to lose a life every turn. Being new to the game, I figured I was golden. I dropped my Shadow creature on my second turn and passed. He paid his life, dropped Unholy Strength on the Carnophage, and put me at sixteen. Then, he dropped his second Carnophage. Gulp. When the game ended, he was at two life, and I was dead.
In the past few years, Suicide Black has fallen out of favor. Luckily, we got a few creatures in Darksteel that scream to be used in Suicide Black decks.
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present you with a new breed of zombie deck. Yeah, that’s right, count ’em. Thirty. Thirty glorious, rotting fleshbags that want to eat brains and wander about with arms outstretched! That’s what I call tribal. But I digress. Let’s step away from this madness to take a closer look at this deck.
Yes, those are four Maggot Carriers…
