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“Well,” he said with the air of a man giving change to a particularly leprous beggar,”You should run twenty lands, like I do. That’s enough land for – *snif* – your sort of deck.” The immediate temptation was to grab a chair and embed a seat cushion ten inches into his medulla oblongata… But he was closer to right than I had been at seventeen. Does Onslaught break the land count?

Are your creatures about to eat a Mutilate? Read the Runes! Drawing too many land? Read the Runes and clear out that deadwood! Is someone casting Armageddon? Read the Runes, you won’t need the land anyway! Did you draw a redundant copy of some card? Read the Runes, and cycle it along! Wife sleeping with the mailman? Read the Runes can’t help you there…. Unless you’re Gambit from the X-Men, and then you can use your powers to imbue the card with kinetic force!

If I can give you guys something fun to read for fifteen minutes, it’s worth it. I like Magic. I like to write. You think something as piddling as a complete lack of an entertaining premise is going to stop the likes of me? Nah. Now grab me a cold one and let’s do Blue before I lose my nerve.

One of the most overlooked aspects of the Sideboard coverage for any given event is the”Photo Coverage”. In an effort to draw greater attention to the fine work of the Sideboard team, I figured I’d better put new captions on these things.

Bruce Richard invites you into his basement, taking there VIA THE MAGIC OF FIRST-PERSON CONVERSATION, to see exactly what his little group is up to. Who does Bruce think is an utter B@stard?

I wish Aphetto Vulture cost one less. But it doesn’t. So, I’ll have to live with it? Will this be one of the secondary themes for this block:”Good but too costly”? I hope not.

Okay, so you can make a Sacred Mesa work with Beasts thanks to an Artificial Evolution. You knew that, right? However, the infinite loop with Words of Wilding and Carnival of Souls, plus a Ravenous Baloth, is probably something you missed. And then there’s the fifteen-card infinite combo that really requires some work, but thankfully needs only two cards to set it off….

Don’t you just love the guys who speak for”us?” Doesn’t it make you feel snug and secure at night knowing that you don’t need to express your opinion – heck, you don’t even really need to think – when there’s people out there who speak for Most of Us. And apparently, we all think Onslaught sucks. Or do we?

A lot of Onslaught drafts are going to see a lot of creatures, and not a lot of removal. That means that when drafting Onslaught, people will hate draft all the bombs and good cards in any color.

Playing Onslaught sealed is like dialing a phone, while drunk, with heavy gloves on. Big, exaggerated motions that mash multiple buttons at once, with random results. Who can mash harder?

Coming Monday, StarCity will post an announcement indicating that
there will be a huge announcement the Monday following that Star City may upgrade the site on some Monday hence. If you’re good (meaning that you buy lots of merchandise), StarCity might even announce that we’ll be posting articles on a future Monday as well.

Your last-minute strategy guide for tomorrow’s Big Fun Day. Don’t know what you’re doing? Let The Ferrett walk you through how to build a deck, what sorts of spells to look for, and his initial impressions on the Onslaught environment!