The Daily Shot: The Onslaught Blue Set Review, A – I

If I can give you guys something fun to read for fifteen minutes, it’s worth it. I like Magic. I like to write. You think something as piddling as a complete lack of an entertaining premise is going to stop the likes of me? Nah. Now grab me a cold one and let’s do Blue before I lose my nerve.

“How long do you think it will be before Kurt Hahn calls me sh*t? You know it’s bound to happen eventually.”

Geordie Tait,”TDS: Mea Culpa Soula Burna”, June 19th, 2002

Well, it finally happened.

How long did it take? Just under three months. Now I’ve accomplished everything I’ve hoped for. Being torpedoed on TA.com is the like my Super Bowl ring. So, time to retire?


So I was reading back through the “Onslaught White” set review, and though it was funny in some parts and there was some interesting stuff pepper and salted throughout the whole deal, it didn’t really knock my socks off.

So I got to thinking: If it’s hard to make a set review entertaining, why bother?

And you know what I thought right after asking myself that question? I’ll tell you. I unburdened myself of a sort of mental shrug, and thought:

“Well, why not?”

If I can give you guys something fun to read for fifteen minutes, it’s worth it. I like Magic. I like to write. You think something as piddling as a complete lack of an entertaining premise is going to stop the likes of me? Nah. Now grab me a cold one and let’s do Blue before I lose my nerve.

Airborne Aid 3U

Sorcery C

Draw a card for each Bird in play.

“We help our Southern Order comrades as much as we can. But the Cabal’s insidious influence spreads, dividing our forces and leaving new arrivals to fend for themselves.”

Commander Eesha

It’s full of rich and birdly goodness. Cards that do nothing when you have no creatures can be good, a la Gaea’s Cradle, or they can be bad, a la Emperor Crocodile. This draw spell is probably most similar to Keep Watch, though in the Bird deck it is simultaneously more Limited and less Limited.

Consider! Keep Watch can be used to draw cards during an opposing attack! Not only that, but it is an Instant and one mana cheaper, and it works with any creature type. Conversely, Airborne Aid is playable with the Birds, only the Birds and nothing but the Birds. The only time that Airborne Aid is better than Keep Watch is when

(A) You don’t want to attack with your Birds


(B) Your opponent is also playing Birds

So maybe Airborne Aid is a control card instead of an aggro card. What happens if you load up a deck with Quiet Speculation, Battle Screeches, a few copies of something like Seaside Haven, and some good control weenies like Weathered Wayfarer? Throw in Deep Analysis, countermagic and Tutoring power and you might have a deck that can use the Airborne Aid.


Annex 2UU

Enchant Land U

You control enchanted land.

Most refugees left their ancestral homes behind when they came to Otaria. A few decided to bring them along.

I love this card. Conquer was just too expensive. Ditto Frenzied Tilling. Annex accelerates your mana while taking mana from the other guy. In one color. It’s great!

Take a gander at the following scenario:

P1: Island, go.

P2: Forest, go.

P1: Island, Sky Diamond, go.

P2: Island, Wild Mongrel, go.

P1: Island, cast Annex on opposing Forest, go.

At this point, P1 has four land (and five total mana sources!), and P2 has one! There’s got to be something you can do with that sort of massive developmental advantage. I’m just not sure what that something is.

“I claim this Forest in the name of My Wang.”

Aphetto Alchemist 1U

Creature – Wizard U

T: Untap target artifact or creature.

Morph U (You may play this face down as a 2/2 creature for 3. Turn it face up any time for its morph cost.)

He brews trouble.


Aphetto? Isn’t that the old geezer who whittled Pinnochio, the puppet who turned into a real boy?

And jeez…. Did we have to start with the Limited cards so darn early? I was having so much fun, too.

Oh well… Let’s give this guy the once-over. Two mana for a 1/2 that’s missing the important half of the Puppeteer ability suite. Can come into play as a 2/2 if you’re needing some Grey Ogre beatdown. Might surprise someone by morphing and then uptapping a blocker.

I find myself unexcited. Tell you what – let’s both check out a little more the set, and then we’ll revisit this guy and see if he’s good enough to make the cut in Limited.

Aphetto Grifter 2U

Creature – Wizard U

Tap two untapped Wizards you control: Tap target permanent.

Aphetto con artists started working in pairs to make it less likely they’d be the victims of con artists.


A 1/1 for 2U is just awful, so we’re going to have to judge this guy on the strength of his ability alone: With that in mind, it looks like this guy is going to be quite the troublemaker if you plant him beside a few of his wizard buddies.

The thing to remember is that practicioners of magery are, at heart, a bunch of wimps. Remember Wandering Mage? He’s still rotting in the TDS jail, indicted on charges of being a terrible card. He, and most of these Onslaught sorcerers, couldn’t beat a one-legged man in an asskicking contest.

It’s only when you get a bunch of the pedantic little bookworms together that they start wreaking havoc, and this Aphetto Grifter is a perfect example. Every turn, he’ll be tapping crucial blockers, tying up mana needed for activation costs, immobilizing potential attackers. If I’ve got five wizards or more, I’m going to want him in my deck.

Arcanis the Omnipotent 3UUU

Creature – Wizard Legend R

T: Draw three cards.

2UU: Return Arcanis the Omnipotent to its owner’s hand.

He has journeyed where none have been before. Now he returns to ensure that none follow.


I heard that drawing three extra cards per turn was good… On the Dojo.

Using Arcanis is Constructed is going to be an interesting challenge, though it will happen – he’s just too good to ignore. Formats past have had room enough for 6CC creatures with profound effects on the game, bombs like Rith, The Awakener, Two-Headed Dragon, and the like. As with some other spells, such as Mirari’s Wake, if you untap with Arcanis in play and you’re playing the right deck, you’ve likely won.

So what is the right deck? The good news is that you get to play Blue instead of W/G as with Wake – a definite step in the right direction. You might want to play green anyhow, for mana acceleration and access to the new Ophidian: Hystrodon. Or you could stick with straight Blue and use artifacts and Millikin. It’s even possible that mana acceleration is not needed at all – maybe the deck could just control the board until the arrival of Arcanis, and concentrate on disrupting and eliminating an opponent’s possible answers to Ancestral Boy. That strategy would seem to lend itself well to a U/B or U/W build.

White is great at protecting creatures, and black is great at disrupting an opposing plan of attack. Arcanis might even be playable in decks like Oath, or T1 Morphling Blue. After all, he wins the game just as decisively as Morphling, doesn’t he? He even has a measure of protection with that activated ability that he shamelessly stole from Palinchron.

The bottom line is that if he stays in play and you get to use him, you will almost always win. This is true of a precious few cards in Magic. Start those brains a’-workin’.

Artificial Evolution U

Instant R

Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of one creature type with another. The new creature type can’t be Legend or Wall. (This effect doesn’t end at end of turn.)

I guess a card like this had to come along sooner or later. I’m surprised they made it rare, since it interacts so well with the rest of the set in Limited. Uncommon would have been fine – I don’t mind opening a useless uncommon now and then when I’m busting boxes. Instead, they stick it in the slot where it won’t see much of the Limited light of day.

This card might see sideboard play if any creature theme deck turns out to be a serious beating. It cannot do anything, however, to counter what may be the strongest of the new”creature-type oriented” beatdown cards – white’s Shared Triumph. The creature type is named as that enchantment comes into play, and there’s no text to be changed. Actually, Artificial Evolution has that problem with any number of cards in Onslaught.

There are some fun interactions to be found with other cards. Phyrexian Processors can start pumping out 10/10 Faerie tokens. You can sneak two copies of the same legend in play. Deadapult can start flinging your Saprolings. Mogg Infestation can unleash a horde of little Dragons. For that matter, Dragon Roost will be able to populate your board with many a 5/5 Spuzzem.

Ascending Aven 2UU

Creature – Bird Soldier C


Ascending Aven may block only creatures with flying.

Morph 2U (You may play this face down as a 2/2 creature for 3. Turn it face up any time for its morph cost.)


Playing Ascending Aven is like breaking bad news to a spouse – timing is everything. In morphed form, you have a 2/2 who can block ground creatures, but not flyers. Unmorphed, stats naked for the world to see, Ascending Aven is a 3/2 flyer who can block other flyers, but not ground-pounders.

So if you want to block a ground creature and do the full three damage, you have to Morph after the block has been declared. If you want to block a flyer, you have to morph before the block is declared.

Did I mention that this guy is a 3/2 flyer for four mana, and likely to be one of the better cards in Onslaught Limited? Well, now I did.

Aven Fateshaper 6U

Creature – Bird Wizard U


When Aven Fateshaper comes into play, look at the top four cards of your library, then put them back in any order.

4U: Look at the top four cards of your library, then put them back in any order.


Sweet mother of God, there are people in Forbes magazine who would balk at this cost. Like Texas, everything about Aven Fateshaper is BIG. Big casting cost, big activation cost, big power and toughness relative to other common and uncommon fliers. I think they took a fair uncommon, multiplied all the numbers by two, and decided to print it.

Backslide 1U

Instant C

Turn target creature with morph face down.

Cycling U (U, Discard this card from your hand: Draw a card.)

Some things are better left unknown.

Thank heavens for cycling, but this should have been a cantrip. I think they took the cantrip out of every idea they had for Onslaught and just inserted cycling, which is inferior in every way, instead. I expect this to make my deck on occasion, just because you can turn that Grinning Demon back into a wimp right as he’s rumbling over to say hello. Then you feed him to whatever Aven you have handy.

Blatant Thievery 4UUU

Sorcery R

For each opponent, gain control of target permanent that player controls. (This effect doesn’t end at end of turn.)

“I’ll leave subtlety to the rich.”

At first I thought this was one of those”prevent Spoiler theft!” cards that moderators insert into their threads to prevent the shiftless from copying them verbatim. I guess it’s a real card.

I actually have several turn-2 kill strategies involving Blatant Thievery, but I’m going to omit them from this column in order to”preserve the mystery.”

Jokes aside, card will be fun for multiplayer. (Define”fun” – The Ferrett) Sometimes I yearn to go back to those dog-days of summer, when we’d get eight people at Future Pastimes in a giant free-for-all, slinging spells. What a blast it was. I had a Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale/Winter Orb deck. With Pendrell Mists, too. I had a deck with forty dragons.

I start to get all misty-eyed at times like this, and then I remember that I probably got a turn about once every two or three minutes, and that the outcome of every game was pretty much beyond my control.

Callous Oppressor 1UU

Creature – Cephalid R

You may choose not to untap Callous Oppressor during your untap step.

As Callous Oppressor comes into play, an opponent chooses a creature type.

T: Gain control of target creature that isn’t of the chosen type as long as Callous Oppressor remains tapped.


I’ve had a few callouses in my day, but this guy is the only one that has ever oppressed people. Obviously good in Limited while being simultaneously useless in Constructed, this guy is a good example of why Artificial Evolution will never reach its full potential – too many cards name a creature type as they come into play, and don’t include that creature type in the text.

If you run into a deck with nothing but Soldiers or nothing but Clerics, you might have to board the Oppressor out. If, on the other hand, you’re up against a deck with diverse creature types (this will happen less often in Onslaught than you think), he is going to dominate the table.

Chain of Vapor U

Instant U

Return target nonland permanent to its owner’s hand. Then that permanent’s controller may sacrifice a land. If the player does, he or she may copy this spell and may choose a new target for that copy.

You can’t really use this card like other bounce spells. If you use it to get a nice tempo advantage, your adversary might just copy it and send your biggest creature back home. If you try to save a creature in combat, it’s likely that the enemy creature will get a free ride home as well.

Chain of Vapor still works well in saving a creature or key permanent from removal, and it might have applications in Constructed. Played in a deck with few permanents, the likelihood of the spell being copied is quite low. That being said, I don’t think that the effect is powerful enough in the first place to warrant much Constructed play.

Choking Tethers 3U

Instant C

Tap up to four target creatures.

Cycling 1U (1U, Discard this card from your hand: Draw a card.)

When you cycle Choking Tethers, you may tap target creature.

I’ve always been hesitant to put Deluge or Turnabout-style effects in my draft decks, simply because they’re good for breaking stalemates and not much else. If you’re getting beat down, and you need that crucial spell, they just Fog for a turn and delay the inevitable. For that reason, the cycling on Choking Tethers is a welcome addition. Now, you can tap the whole enemy team and swing, or just cycle the card and remove that key blocker for a turn.

It’s common, too – you could load up a quick beatdown deck with these and really go to town. In the early game, it’s like Stun. Later on, it’s like Bedlam. More Red cards in Blue bodies.

Clone 3U

Creature – Clone R

As Clone comes into play, you may choose a creature in play. If you do, Clone comes into play as a copy of that creature.


Guess who’s back?

Back again?

Clone is back.

Tell a friend.

Well, what’s to say? It’s useless nowadays, but remains an old favorite, so what can you do besides sigh and clear out a nice cushy rare slot? Like Ernham Djinn from Judgment and Sengir Vampire from Torment, this geezer is going to be all up in our area in a month’s time, and the less nostalgic players are going to have to grin and bear it.

Three old boys from an era long-gone, sitting out on the porch at the Wizards old-cards home, swapping stories of the glory days.

Clone would talk about how it once copied the famous Hypnotic Spectre. Ernham would spin a yarn about Armageddons and burn. Sengir Vampire would talk about how it was once part of a Necro deck played by a Canadian scrub who would later become a StarCity columnist.

Then they’d all have a glass of warm milk and go to bed.

Complicate 2U

Instant U

Counter target spell unless its controller pays 3.

Cycling 2U (2U, Discard this card from your hand: Draw a card.)

When you cycle Complicate, you may counter target spell unless its controller pays 1.

I don’t see any reason not to play this, except for the fact that it’s slow. Strictly superior to a little-known card,”Force Void,” I’m liking what Complicate has to offer on turn 3. If the guy plays out a key 2CC or 1CC spell, you counter it. If your worthy opponent tries to get fancy with a 3CC spell, you cantrip your foot right up his ass.

I’m liking U/G control right about now. Cycled Krosan Tusker and cycled Complicate are both amazing plays off of a first-turn Birds Of Paradise. Throw the Cunning Wish/Moment’s Peace engine and some strong countermagic, and you’ve got a contender.

Complicate is going to be bigger than Disrupt, and maybe bigger than Jebus. Throughout the long and illustrious history of Magic, Disrupt has done more housing than Bob Vila. You say”no” to a Hymn and draw a card. It’s like a punch right in the face.

Well, like Disrupt, Complicate is going to kick ass, take names, swing games, and chew bubblegum.

Crafty Pathmage 2U

Creature – Wizard C

T: Target creature with power 2 or less is unblockable this turn.

The most valuable commodity in the pits is a way out.


A much better name than the similar”Dwarven Warrior” (a warrior, it should be noted, who couldn’t put a dent in a tin can), and in the correct color to boot.

Here’s the deal: We’re both adults here. I’m just writing for fun, you’re just reading for fun, right? Does another paragraph about Crafty Pathmage sound like fun? Let’s be honest with ourselves and just move on. Bare bones time.

Good if you need a Wizard.

Good if you want to make that Cabal Executioner or Skirk Commando unblockable.

Thus ends our in-depth analysis of Crafty Pathmage.

Crown of Ascension 1U

Enchant Creature C

Enchanted creature has flying.

Sacrifice Crown of Ascension: Enchanted creature and other creatures that share a creature type with it gain flying until end of turn. “Wisdom, clear my eyes.”


Put the kiddies to bed, there’s a new sheriff in town!

It’s like a more versatile Overrun!

Makes Hatred look slow!

Gives flying to more creatures than Morphling does!

Costs less than Yawgmoth’s Will!

Ladies and gentlemen, I present Crown of Ascension, the perfect card.

This card will inspire more stories than Kaervek’s Spite!

Dude, I was losing but then I won! Holy Pikula!

“To the air!”

Then you swing with your team!

The best card yet printed with”Ascension” in the title!

Arnjlot who?

Dude, I played my Crown and he just scooped!

Discombobulate 2UU

Instant U

Counter target spell. Look at the top four cards of your library, then put them back in any order.

“I said ‘pick his brain,’ not ‘tear off his head.'”

Riptide Project researcher

Discombobulate – potent polysyllabic permission, or pungent pile of putrescent poop?

Rabid fans of”The Andy Griffith Show,” R & D designed Discombobulate with the raw power of Opie, the speed of Aunt Bea, and the range and versatility of Floyd the Barber. Most importantly, this spell, like Barney Fife, probably won’t be ready to go if there’s unexpected trouble.

4CC countermagic should draw you a card or go home. Why couldn’t they just have reprinted Dismiss? Sage Owl was awful – and this, while better, isn’t what Blue needs if there’s going to be a re-emergance of classic Mono-U control.

Dispersing Orb 3UU

Enchantment U

3U, Sacrifice a permanent: Return target permanent to its owner’s hand.

“Like the seas, the Æther is fickle and ever-changing. If we can control one, we can master the other.”

Riptide Project director

The only thing dispersing faster than my will to plow through another 200 Crown Of Ascension-calibre cards is this card, which provides significant control in the late game.

If you survive into the midgame, and you have something like eight land, the right deck might be able to turn this enchantment into a major workhorse, provided you have the land or other permanents to spare. For one (undoubtedly flawed) example, nothing will stay on the board if you’re able to Compulsion/Spirit Cairn yourself up permanents at will.

And what about lock decks? This little piece of magery might come in handy in a deck with Annex, and plenty of mana, and maybe something like Words of Wind. The activation cost is a little steep, but the card has potential.

One interesting thing to note is the rarity. I thought something like this would be rare, but it isn’t – it’s an uncommon. That means you’re likely to see this card fairly often at the draft table. How good is Dispersing Orb in Limited? I guess the best way to look at it would be”like Attrition, but way worse.” I used to love getting Attrition in draft, and this is used in the same way… It’s just far slower and slightly more versatile.

Save any creature from damage. Save any permanent from destruction. And hey… If your guy is going to die anyhow, you might as well slow down the enemy. You won’t want more than one in a deck, but you will probably want one.

Disruptive Pitmage 2U

Creature – Wizard C

T: Counter target spell unless its controller pays 1.

Morph U (You may play this face down as a 2/2 creature for 3. Turn it face up any time for its morph cost.)

“Show weakness to hide your strength.”


Searching For Mundungu.

How good is this little bugger going to be? Disruptive Pitmage is like virtual land destruction, but he takes a turn to get going. When he’s not popping out to counter a key spell, he might be serving for two in his unmorphed form. Buehler called cards like this the “Gotcha!” card of the set.

Let me tell you all I know about a “Gotcha!”. I had a friend who used to do a lot of golfing, mostly at the little Holiday Inn course we have here near the outskirts of Sarnia. It wasn’t too challenging, but he had a good time and actually got pretty good – not”PGA Tour” good, mind you – but pretty good. He would always tell me stories about this weird old guy who would hang around the course.

“Weird Old Pete,” he called him. This guy, Weird Old Pete, was always at the course, hacking away, but he was god-awful. You never wanted to be behind him during a round, because he wouldn’t let anyone play through, and he always took forever on each hole, shanking every shot, four-putting every green. That was Old Pete.

So anyhow, one week he went out there for a round, and the course is pretty deserted except for Old Pete, who is just about to go out for a round. Now, my friend is scrambling to get out and tee off ahead of Pete, so he doesn’t have to get stuck behind the shot-shanking old geezer, but he comes up short and Pete is ready to tee off first. Something weird happens at that point, though – Pete turns to my friend and asks him if he wants to play a round, with $50 and bragging rights on the line.

Now, remember – Pete is well known to be the worst golfer to frequent the Holiday Inn course. That’s some feat, too – because the course isn’t exactly Pebble Beach… It’s designed with newbies in mind. In any case, he is God-awful. My friend knows there must be a catch, so he asks”Do you want a handicap?”

This is basically just him asking Pete what number of strokes he’d like subtracted from his score at the end of the game. That’s called”handicapping” and it lets poor players compete with excellent ones. Of course, Old Pete is so abysmally bad that my buddy could give him a handicap of 50 and still win.

Old Pete replies, “I don’t need a handicap. Just give me two gotchas.”

Naturally, my friend asks, “What’s a gotcha?”

Old Pete just grins and says “You’ll see.”

So it’s on. My friend goes to tee off on #1, a simple Par 3, and he’s just going into his backswing, when Old Pete reaches forward, grabs my buddy’s testicles through his khaki pants, and gives them a firm squeeze.

“Gotcha!” Old Pete yells.

Naturally, the shot is a disaster and goes all of three feet. They keep playing, and this is the crazy part – my buddy ends up losing the match and has to fork over the $50! Naturally, I was quick to ask him what happened.

“How did you lose? What did you shoot?” I asked.

My friend could only shrug. “I don’t know,” he said, “maybe 150, maybe 160.”

That was ridiculous, and I told him so. “But you usually shoot a 75! Sure, that gotcha lost you a stroke on the first hole, but Old Pete only had one gotcha left after that! How could you shoot a 160?”

He just put down his beer, looked at me, and replied: “Ever try to hit a shot while waiting for that second gotcha?”

That’s the story. So now, I ask…ever try to cast a four-drop while waiting for that second Gotcha?

Essence Fracture 3UU

Sorcery U

Return two target creatures to their owners’ hands.

Cycling 2U (2U, Discard this card from your hand: Draw a card.)

“Shaping reality is simply a matter of knowing where to apply pressure.”

-Ixidor, reality sculptor

Mmm… Forbidden tempo donut. (drool)

If you play creatures on turns 1-4, and then play this on turn five, you’re probably in the driver’s seat. Too bad it’s a Sorcery. This card will get played in much the same way that Churning Eddy did, in the same sort of decks, by the same kind of players, and probably with the same results. Cycling is a nice plus, but I doubt you’d cycle this card in Limited unless you were really digging deep for land or a specific answer.

Insert witty closing remark here.

Get further inebriated here.

Fleeting Aven 1UU

Creature – Bird Wizard U


Whenever a player cycles a card, return Fleeting Aven to its owner’s hand.

“Don’t become so enthralled with magic that you forget you can fly without it.”


I’m not sure, but I think this flavor text is a reminder to Magic players that they may want to take a shower and hit a singles bar every so often.

The new R & D color-pie regime is in full effect, and Blue flyers are taking the big hit; compare Fleeting Aven to Gustcloak Harrier. I’d hate to spend my third turn playing this guy, only to get him sent home by a cycled Choking Tethers. On the plus side, you can use the”cycle n’ bounce” ability to keep Fleeting Aven alive, popping it back up to your hand in response to creature kill.

How good is he? Don’t know. I’ll wait until Gary Wise covers Onslaught Blue and just leech some knowledge off of him, like the parasitic slug that I am.

Future Sight 2UUU

Enchantment R

Play with the top card of your library revealed.

You may play the top card of your library as though it were in your hand.

“My past holds only pain and loss. I will conquer it by creating the perfect future.”

-Ixidor, reality sculptor

WATCH LIST. Well, maybe not, but it could be.

Apparently Recycle wasn’t good enough, so they removed all the drawbacks and took a mana off of the total casting cost, and printed it in the most degenerate combo color ever. This card is dangerous. It’s very, very powerful. Not just in combo decks, either. Like Fact or Fiction, it might just be so generally strong that it’s an automatic inclusion in any Blue deck.

You get to keep your original hand, right? Then, like an unfaithful husband, you get a little something on the side. You get a hand with a maximum size of one card, and for every card you play from that hand, you draw a card. If you untap with Future Sight in play, you’ve got all sorts of options at your disposal: First, if the top card is a land, you get to cantrip it right off the top of your deck. That alone replaces Future Sight. If the top card is a creature, you get to cantrip it right into play.

What if you untap, play a land off the top of your deck, and then the next card is a creature, which you also play, and the next card after that is a counterspell? You didn’t even use one card in hand, and yet you’ve increased your manabase, you’ve put a threat on the board that your opponent must nullify, using his own precious cards, and you’ve got a counterspell to protect it.


No card that does that can be bad. Maybe it will turn out to be too sluggish off the blocks. Maybe the environment will be too fast, and the Future Sight deck will be an unworkable mess.

Or maybe this card will rule over everything with an iron fist. No card in Onslaught has more potential.

Ghosthelm Courier 2U

Creature – Wizard U

You may choose not to untap Ghosthelm Courier during your untap step.

2U, T: As long as Ghosthelm Courier remains tapped, target Wizard gets +2/+2 and can’t be the target of spells or abilities.


Yawn. I wish the activation on these guys wasn’t so steep – it’s almost like echo. If you want to keep Ghosthelm Courier at the ready, poised to counter pesky removal spells and lend strength on combat, then you’d best be prepared to keep three mana open until the end of time.

If, on the other hand, you want to use him like Zephid’s Embrace…you’d best be bettin’ that the first removal spell drawn by your opponent will probably seek out the Courier itself. Probably during combat. Probably just in time to two-for-one you.


Use at your own risk.

Graxiplon 5U

Creature – Beast U

Graxiplon is unblockable unless defending player controls three or more creatures that share a creature type.

“Attempts to revive this ancient species have not been entirely successful, but results indicate potential for future development.”

Riptide Project researcher


Swings like a brother, costed like your mother.

Imagecrafter U

Creature – Wizard C

T: Choose a creature type other than Legend or Wall. Target creature’s type becomes that type until end of turn.

When Otarians learned not to trust wizards, the wizards learned to adapt.


If you played Tidal Visionary in Invasion Block Limited, you will play Imagecrafter. Same concept. In a tight game, he will let you outplay your opponent. If it’s power you’re wanting, though… Best take a pass.

Information Dealer 1U

Creature – Wizard C

T: Look at the top X cards of your library, where X is the number of Wizards in play, then put them back in any order.

“One wizard is a suspect. Two wizards are a conspiracy.”

-Elvish refugee


This guy isn’t the only dealer that R & D has on speed-dial.

Ixidor, Reality Sculptor 3UU

Creature – Wizard Legend R

Face-down creatures get +1/+1.

2U: Turn target face-down creature face up.

“Reality has exiled me. I am no longer bound by its laws.”


That flavor text sounds like something you’d hear when some LSD is making the rounds. I can just imagine Ixidor and Arcanus hanging out in a three-room flat, getting blitzed.

Ixidor (hallucinating and shining a flashlight out the window and into the dark of night): “Check out this groove, Arc! Climb the beam of light! Reach the stars!”

Arcanus (also tripping): “No way in hell, Ix.”

Ixidor (honestly confused): “Why not?”

Arcanus: “Because you’re such a smart-ass, I wouldn’t get more than ten feet before you’d shut the flashlight off.”

Anyhow, Ixidor is obviously useless in Constructed, so look for him to make his mark at a Limited event near you. Power up those morph creatures, flip ’em for free, and he’s a Wizard on top of all that. One of the few that doesn’t fold when hit by a Fever Charm.

Ixidor’s Will 2U

Instant C

Counter target spell unless its controller pays 2 for each Wizard in play.

“Some dreams should not come to be.”

Just who is the executor of Ixidor’s Will? I didn’t know that mythical wizards needed lawyers. He left the golf clubs to his uncle, a big pile of Playboy and Penthouse magazines to his nephew, and the bulk of his estate went to the University of Maine, the same place that had to wait for twenty dogs to die in order to receive some rich benefactors dough.

This spell is garbage. A counterspell for the Onslaught Limited Wizard deck, and useless otherwise.

ARRRRRGH. I was going to end it there, but I can’t. WHY DOESN’T this spell cost U? Why? The real limiting factor is the fact that you need Wizards to have it do anything, so why the 2U mana cost? Even at U you can’t use it worth beans in the early game unless you play a lot of little Merlin-wannable jabronies.

See ya tomorrow,
Geordie Tait