Bad Times For Eduardo
Someday, somewhere, someone will actually play Hypnox from his hand. And then the sky will open up and thee will know thy wrath of thy Lord! Well, actually, it happened to me. Twice.
That New Card Smell And Punks Galore – Torment Prerelease
Dear punks: I used to be on your side, but when you crossed over and grabbed the chance to be one of the”cool guys that pick on the nerds,” you lost my sympathy vote. Go to hell.
PTQ Osaka: Deconstructing Enchantress
Pictures of Rizzo and hot babes having fights! Rizzo attempts to convince you that his tongue tech is good! Rizzo is proven right on Nightscape Familiar! What else do you want?
A Frank Discourse: The Relevance Of Malcolm X In The Twenty-First Century
Just think of how many people will turn to The Net to research Malcolm X and get linked to this article. I get all giddy. Also, I’ve apparently sold out.
Worrying About The Vase
Rizzo looks at his last year’s predictions, then he makes more predictions for this year. They’re all ridiculous, of course, especially that thing about Zvi and Budde.
PTQ – Osaka: The Importance Of Being l33t
You know, as an editor, trying to summarize Rizzo’s random tourney reports in a pithy sentence is a real pain. YOU try it sometime.
Until then, here is a Rizzo report. Thank you for your time.
A Review Of My Accelerated Black
Rizzo gets ahead of the arrogant and acne-ridden and reviews his own article before it can be reviewed elsewhere! Look out, kiddies! Using needlessly harsh language means everyone knows you’re TOUGH!
PTQ – Osaka: Is That A Smokestack In Your Pocket?
So of COURSE when Rizzo could take pictures of Jill Costigan, his camera stops working. Still, you get to hear about his mono-black deck, playtested right at the tourney!
The Avatar Of Woe Plays White Cards: PTQ – San Diego
John Rizzo cheating at a PTQ? The Friggin’ One comes clean.
A Tournament Report I Wrote
Event 1: Rizzo leaves CMU.
Event 2: Turian wins GP: Montreal.
Event 3: Eubroken wins GP: Atlanta.
Coincidence?
Maine States: Tickling Millikin Under The Chin
Q: What’s the difference between me and Gary Wise?
A: One of them sucks at Magic, while the other is a booger head.
A Really Long Road Up And The Effect Of Escape Artist On The Metagame
Still whacked out after moving cross-country, random even by Rizzo’s standards, the Friggin’ One still manages to discuss Nate Heiss’s private parts.
How White Weenie Made Me A Bitch
An overdose of Rocky quotes, random decklists, humiliating pictures, and a paean to White Weenie.
I Think I’m Tough Because I Have Overrun:PTQ – SD
Rizzo’s movin’ to Maine and tryin’ his hand at them old cards. With pitchures an’ everythang!