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The Top 20 Reasons I Didn’t Attend A PTQ This Weekend

20. There was no Friggin’ PTQ, damnit! 19. My Universal Net Deck wasn’t ready. 18. Someone had to beat about the head, neck, chest, and breast with discarded Invasion deckboxes at the Prerelease, right? 17. I was answering fan mail. 16. I was hacking computer and inserting random nasty words into every article in his…

20. There was no Friggin’ PTQ, damnit!

19. My Universal Net Deck wasn’t ready.

18. Someone had to beat Aaron Forsythe about the head, neck, chest, and breast with discarded Invasion deckboxes at the Prerelease, right?

17. I was answering fan mail.

16. I was hacking The Ferrett computer and inserting random nasty words into every article in his inbox. (So that’s you – The Ferrett)

15. My wife didn’t have a headache.

14. But I did.

13. I was waiting for Becky Heibert to call me and confess her love.

12. I was waiting for Zvi Mowshowitz to call and ask for tech.

11. I was waiting for Godot.

10. I was still laughing aloud from Bruce Richard list.

9. I had dates with all four members of Destiny’s Child.

8. I overdosed on Diet Coke and candy corn.

7. My kids tied me up and pummeled me with random Toy Story merchandise.

6. I was still translating Tony Boydell last article.

5. I was still translating OMC’s last article.

4. I was still translating my last article.

3. I did attend but was incognito.

2. I had front row seats to the Back Street Boys or N’Sync.

1. I was trying to find the spoiler for Planeshift on MTGNews.com.