Geordie Tait with three byes is like a mule with three spinning wheels. No one knows how he got’ em, and damned if he knows how to use ’em.
Right now, it’s about 6:20 PM EST and I’m at home, watching as the Grand Prix unfolds. I’m finished feeling bad about not making Day 2 – so though I appreciate your sympathy, it’s not necessary. This is going to be a short article; just something to throw up to begin the week and to preface the larger, more detailed reports to follow, so don’t expect the full details of my Grand Prix: Cleveland experience to grace these pages just yet.
Here are some down and dirty notes and personal observations from the weekend, right off the top of my head:
1. Peter Szigeti was wearing the same retro Houston Astros shirt that I’ve seen in any number of rap videos. The man is in touch with hip-hop culture.
2. We brought eight people in total to the event.
3. I’m not trying to brag or anything, but I kicked everyone’s ass in the GPT on Friday Night, finishing first in the Swiss (out of 152 people) and winning one of the four available sets of byes.
4. I’m not trying to brag or anything, but I then proceeded to lose my first two GP matches, eliminating me from contention and disappointing Josh Bennett, who had hoped that I would have a good enough record to eventually swing a feature match.
5. Instead, Ferrett got featured… Though through no fault of his own it was the worst feature match I have ever seen. Brian Kowal, who was covering it, almost fell asleep. More importantly, Ferrett’s opponent also almost fell asleep, yawning every two seconds and looking totally disinterested in actually playing. Poor Ferrett: He wore a cape for that? I’m torn as to whether or not I’d rather watch a replay of that match or take time-lapse photos of my toenails growing.
6. Prior to the weekend, I had never seen”Good Man Of The Week” author Ken Krouner in person, and I only knew what he looked like from the neck down. Then I saw him at the Grand Prix and the first thing I thought was: “THAT is what Ken Krouner body looks like?” Can anyone else say that they have experienced this phenomenon? Ken’s clean-cut, angled face doesn’t seem to match his stocky physique, complete with a shambling, carefree walk that is makes him stand out in a crowd.
7. Dave Williams is a snappy dresser when compared to most other Magic players. Then again, who isn’t?
8. The Sarnia contingent had the foresight to bring along a hot chick named Ashley to distract hormone-driven opponents, lend moral support and to console the losing Sarnia players with hugs. While at the event, she was photographed by Team Academy – we expect her to make a run for the”Babe Of The Month” title. (Hell yes – The Ferrett, awestricken)
9. On the way to Cleveland, I missed one exit, took two wrong exits, ran two red lights (one while turning left in front of oncoming traffic), and almost got into four accidents by making ill-advised lane changes. And a partridge in a pear tree.
10. I finally met The Ferrett in person and he was pretty much as I expected, which is a good thing. I also got to talk to Adrian Sullivan, who said he liked my writing, and did some jawing with judge Allen Pengelly, fellow All-Canadian boy Josh Bennett and tournament organizer Mike Guptil.
11. Unfortunately, I chickened out on my original plan, which was to corner Aaron Forsythe or some other Wizards rep and ask about prospective employment opportunities.
12. Who doesn’t make Day 2 with three byes?
13. I’ll say again: Who does that?
14. Adrian Sullivan has a head of hair that can only be described as”lionine.” Watching him play was a treat, though he got demolished anytime I was anywhere near his table.
15. Speaking of heads of hair, OMC is still a white-guy-outta-control. You don’t style it, you experience it.
16. Saw Andystok for the first time. He’s a big guy. I had planned to sell him a stack of junk rares, but he was busy and I was afraid to bother him because I thought he would call me sh*t in true Team Academy fashion. My ego can’t take that sort of bruising.
17. It again pleases me to note that the DCI judges continue to cultivate impressive, authority-enhancing midsections. From affable and capable tournament organizer Mike Guptil to head judge Nat Fairbanks to dedicated tertiary judges like Shawn Jefferies and Chris Page, they’re all men who know what it’s like to have the minute-to-minute maintenance of a high level event placed squarely on their massive shoulders, and they seem to come up big every time.
18. I got two warnings for misrepresentation: One for forgetting to sacrifice my own Standstill, and one for forgetting to sacrifice a permanent to an opposing Braids.
19. Craig Wescoe didn’t show up, so Peter Szigeti couldn’t fight him. To my knowledge, he didn’t end up fighting anyone.
20. The food and parking prices at the venue were, for lack of a better turn of phrase, an utter and complete hammering of the ass. There was no re-entry covered by the parking voucher. If you left to get food, you paid the extra $7 for parking when you returned. If you didn’t, the food court would shake the extra $7 out of you anyhow. I guess technically there was re-entry, but not in the accepted sense of the word.
21. Sarnia player Kevin Phelan also won the trial (though he wasn’t first in the Swiss… That was me! Woohoo!) and had three byes. He finished 69th (ha!) because – get this – he thought the lunch break was an hour and took too long to get back from Wendy’s. Match loss.
22. Andy Kornet, another Sarnia player, went 1-6 at the Grand Prix. He decided to drop after Round 7, maybe to save his rating.
23. Ferrett took a picture of me that will probably be included in his recounting of the event.
24. I had to pop a cop because he wasn’t giving me my props in Oaktown.
25. I may or may not have spent an hour laying next to a future”TA Babe Of The Month” on a hotel bed after Day 1. Best trip ever? Mise.
That’s about it. Thanks to everyone who participated in the Magic Anagram Contest over at MiseTings – I’ll post the winner and the runners-up soon.
See you tomorrow, or perhaps in a couple of days… Between the trip down, the Trial, the GP and the trip back, I have a lot writing to do.