I don’t understand the precise intent of this whole “SCG Daily” business, but it sure is neato! It’s like a livejournal that people might actually read! And if today’s column is bad, there’s a solid chance tomorrow’s will be considerably worse, making you forget allllll about whatever I choose to blather about!
Today, I’ll be casting my votes for the Magic Hall of Fame. Unlike with the Writer’s Ballot for the Invitational, I’m not actually on the panel, so my vote is completely meaningless instead of just 95% meaningless. Before I tell you my four choices, here’s a quote from Brian Kibler about an undisclosed product:
“I’m no marketing genius, but I do know teenage and preteen girls.”
And also, some trivia questions whose answers will be revealed at the end of the article:
1. Who does Kai Budde dread playing against more than anyone else?
2. How many people who have played on my team in DCI sanctioned events have been banned by the DCI at some point?
3. What was the first thing I said after becoming a Grand Prix champion?
I started writing this about two weeks ago, but because of the delay between writing and publication in this particular case, everyone has already given an opinion on the issue. Unfortunately, I’m committed to writing about it now. You can’t go back without going forward. Better press on.
The voting criteria are pretty ambiguous, and how they should be “weighted” is pretty open to interpretation. Everyone on the list except Kurt Burgner has impressive “accomplishments,” and everyone on the list possesses some sort of spellcasting prowess (except for the Kraaaaaaaak). That’s how they got those hundred Pro Points, amiwrong? Sportsmanship is a horsecrap category, since it’s not something that leaves a lasting impression on the game and is likely to go completely undetected except in the most extreme cases. How many people could have any idea whether Svend Geertsen is a scumbag or a sweetheart when you sit down across from him? Basically, sportsmanship is as much of an “okay, we want you to vote for Comer on this one” category as Resident Genius was an “okay, we want you to vote for Fujita” category. God bless whoever wrote the requirements, though.
Integrity, naturally, is the trickiest subject, since there are very few people on the list who are completely innocent (Comer, Pustilnik, and a few others) and a select few (Mike Long) people who’ve made very good careers (Mike Long) by forgetting that the word “integrity” existed (Mike Long). I can’t think of any examples offhand.
Ha ha butseriouslyfolks. If this were just a history-of-the-game sort of deal, it would be easy to include Mike Long. Not only is he a prominent figure in the Pro Tour’s history, he’s also on a Magic card. At the same time, he is best known not in spite of his lack of integrity, but because of it. There’s a difference between fame and infamy. There’s no “villain” quota in the Hall of Fame. The tiebreaker for me was that I recently acquired stock in Long Enterprises, and I think it will be worth a lot more when he is once again a fixture on the circuit and can claim to be a Hall of Fame inductee in his advertisements. For some reason, my stock (purchased for an undisclosed sum) appears to be McDonald’s gift certificates with Mike Long’s picture crudely drawn on the Big Macs, but I’m sure that’s just a formality.
Jay kay. Wouldn’t vote for Long.
Tim Aten Unofficial and Completely Meaningless Hall of Fame Ballot
1. Jon Finkel
As I said earlier, I’ll be revealing my “four” choices for the Hall of Fame. This one clearly doesn’t count as a choice. I can’t imagine how stupid or pseudo-avant garde one would have to be to exclude this living legend from his list.
2. Brian Hacker
I had my ballot all ready to go, then I opened up StarCityGames.com and saw that KK had beaten me to the punch. Trust me when I say that Hacker was already on my list. Trust me also when I say that I will now copy off Kenneth’s test to provide the reasons why I’d vote for Hacker. Hacker was one of the earliest money drafting regulars, and from what I hear they were more likely to run it for Grants and Benjis back in the day than Old Abes* like people do nowadays. He was in fact a pioneer of limited strategy, making significant contributions to deck construction ideas that we now hold as gospel; he was one of the first to exploit the mana curve. Finally, if I remember correctly, he was at the MTV Beach House alongside Mark Justice in 1996, talking about swinging with “G Hounds.” How could you not vote for this man?
3. Darwin Kastle
So many pro points. So many consecutive Pro Tours. So much money in lifetime earnings. Avalanche Riders. Even if he’s a shadow of his former self, even if you don’t particularly like him, you really have to strongly consider adding Mr. Kastle to your ballot.
4. Olle Rade
He won a Pro Tour and the Invitational, and he ultimately became the first Player of the Year. Sure, Alexander Blumke was world champion before Rade started to make a splash, but Rade was the game’s first true international superstar.
5. The Kraaaaaaaaaak
Has Ken Krouner ever made the Kraaaak Good Man of the Week? If so, someone please link me. If not, he needs to get on top of that. Needless to say, I wouldn’t actually vote for the Kraaaaak. I’ll just give in to all the coercion and vote for Comer. He, like, did okay in the Pro Tour and stuff? And like created some really innovative decks and whatnot? Know what I mean? Plus, ya know, he like called the judge on himself for stuff? Yeah, man.
Answers to the Trivia
Despite the fact that it unnecessarily bloats my word count, which I despise**, I will repeat the questions to spare you the agony of scrolling back up or trying to remember what they were on your own. It’s been like 400 words since you read them. Don’t hurt yourselves.
1. Who does Kai Budde dread playing against more than anyone else?
If you said Jon Finkel, you are sorely mistaken. While he is the only person who can contest Kai’s title of Best Player Ever, Finkel never gave Budde too many problems in one-on-one combat. No, the man who can read Kai like a book while never betraying any information about his own plans or holdings is none other than Ben Rubin. Kinda makes me feel better about only having beaten Rubin once in my life,
2. How many people who have played on my team in DCI sanctioned events have been banned by the DCI at some point?
Being an old, old man, my memory, she ain’t what she used to be, but I’m pretty sure the number of teams to disappear from my DCI Ratings History is two. One of these was Juiscseces, comprised of myself, Matt Rubin, and previously banned player Steve Horowitz; the other was Masters, made up of me, Kenny Hsiung, and *gasp* Nick Eisel. Oddly enough, Eisel and Horowitz were actually banned at the same event.
3. What was the first thing I said after becoming a Grand Prix champion?
“Tajooooordan!” My associate Ryan Opalk was watching the match with his ridiculous girlfriend, and as soon as I dealt the deathblow to Chambers, he shouted out “Oh Pippen!” I was pretty excited at the time, and I couldn’t leave a brotha hangin’, so I finished the “famous” line. I would like to take this time to say that I’d really like this mannerism to make a comeback. It never even really got much play while it was in vogue, and it’s a lot better than a good amount of the drivel we have to deal with nowadays, but that’s a topic for another day…
And that day is tomorrow. Is tomorrow good for you? Killer.
Tim Aten
The Most Diabolical Hater This Side of the Mississippi
Sampson McAdoo on Modo
[email protected]
*Thanks Geddes.
**I mean.