When I volunteered for this week’s SCG Daily, I had exactly zero ideas for columns. Pretty smart, huh? Volunteer for five – count ’em, five — columns, and have exactly five fewer ideas than that for things to fill up the spaces. At about the same time, I was in the “library” (the real men know exactly where I was) reading an awful interview in a magazine that will go nameless because they may get a chance to publish something of mine someday, and I don’t want to burn my bridges before I even get there.
The interview was awful, not because of the subject, but because of the questions and the lack of follow-up. Seriously, think about it. How many times have you read an inane question posed to someone who’s surely been asked that question three hundred times.
“So, Peter Jackson, Oscar winning-director of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, why did you want to do film versions of LotR?” Oh, good one. No one’s ever asked him that before. I’ll bet he gives the real answer to that one.
“Um… because every geek who’s ever thought about making a film has wanted to be the one who did LotR and did it right.” I wish. No, we got the “it’s a timeless classic” answer. *yawn*
“Did you have any idea the movies would be as successful as they ended up being?”
Now, what’s Jackson gonna say to that, huh? “Of course, I did. Every geek and nerd in the world was going to see the things at least once. So, the second that I signed the contract, I put in a bid for the island of Saint Barths. We closed the next Tuesday.”
Again, he spouted the pat answer, “I thought it would be good, but I had no idea blah blah blah.” These types of questions are akin to the kind that elicit “I was so ugly in school that no one asked me out” answers from lingerie models.
If you can’t tell, I don’t like those questions. The answers tell me nothing about the subjects.
Do you know the best way to learn about someone? Just like with batters in baseball, throw them curve balls. Any good hitter can hit a fastball down the middle of the plate. It’s called “batting practice” for a reason. Curve balls tell you something about the person. They also engage the person. When the subject is engaged, you get better answers.
Twenty-two years ago this month, when I was seventeen, I interviewed Stevie Ray Vaughan. Yes, really. Texas Flood has been out for a few months… Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble were going to be playing at UT’s Alumni Gym. I was the editor of the entertainment section of our high school paper, and my staff and I covered a whole lot more than just the school play and the choral group. I got people into plays, movies, and other concerts. This one would be mine, though.
I did everything I could to get into the show and get an interview. After numerous calls to Columbia (the record company), Texas (the state), and SRV’s manager (the person), I got two press passes for me and a friend – Doug Kowalczyk, who went along as my photographer. An interview wasn’t guaranteed, though.
After the show – still the best I’ve ever seen – I hung around with Doug. It turned out that no one else had asked to interview SRV. Not the local paper. Not the university’s paper. No radio or television station. No one. That left me. I was in heaven.
The only problem was that I couldn’t get him to open up about himself. So, I took a different tack. I asked about his family and friends. As reticent as he was about himself, he was that animated about his brother, Jimmie, and his wife. For about two hours, I asked questions and listened to answers from a man that I still consider the best guitarist that I’ve ever seen.
After thinking about all of this, I realized that I couldn’t remember reading a decent interview with any Magic writers. I’ve read some quick question-and-answer things with some Pro Tour players who also happened to be writers, but even those left a lot to be desired. I had my idea. I’d interview some of the writers whose stuff you enjoy reading.
I hope that you enjoy what you read in the next week. I also hope that you feel that you’ve gotten to know the writers a bit better. If you have, I’ve done my job. If not, well, I’m pretty sure that you’ll let me know, probably in a most embarrassing manner.
…
If you read my stuff, I’m as close to a hundred-per-cent sure that you read Jay Moldenhauer-Salazar‘s stuff. He really doesn’t need any introduction. So, let’s just get on with it.
CBR: I’m keeping track of this one… it’s interesting to me that the non-Magic players in the world presume that all Magic players started out as Dungeons & Dragons players. Are you now, or were you ever, a role-playing gamer?
JMS: Yep. I’ve played a lot of role-playing games in my life, starting with Dungeons & Dragons in elementary school. Pathetic as it sounds, I met one of my lifelong friends during middle school in the D&D Club. By the time I reached high school, I was playing mostly superhero role-playing games like Champions, Villains & Vigilantes, GURPS Supers, and a British RPG called Golden Heroes. I played a little Battletech, Car Wars, Gamma World, and D&D during those years, too. In college and graduate school, I played Champions almost exclusively.
Interestingly, after my Ph.D. program I started playing D&D again. Maybe it was because my wife is into traditional fantasy way more than superheroes, or maybe it was Magic’s thematic influence. Now D&D is the only RPG I play. Last year, I DM-ed a campaign with a group of ordained ministers, which tells me a bit about the freakish twists my life has taken. Anyway, I don’t really have time to play any game besides Magic as much as I’d like. I would say these days that I’m lucky if I can play a few times a year.
CBR: A lot of folks think that Magic writers are rich and get paid so much that we actually roll around in foil Rishadan Ports during our free time. The truth is that we have other jobs. You have a couple. Would you tell the lovely folks out there what you actually do to pay the bills?
JMS: Yeah, I would hate to think anyone started writing about Magic for the paychecks.
I have a Ph.D. in organizational psychology, which basically translates into “business.” For the past eight years I worked at Sun Microsystems as an organizational development consultant, getting promoted pretty aggressively.
As I said in my February 6th MagicTheGathering.com article, I just left Sun to be the Director of Leadership and Organization Development at Taco Bell. I would explain what that really means, but I’m pretty sure folks would fall asleep and never finish reading the interview. Suffice it to say, I may be the only corporate executive who writes Magic articles.
I suppose the other job I have is as a contract worker for Wizards of the Coast. Not only do I write a weekly column for them, but I’m also an ongoing member of their Creative Team in R&D, writing card names and flavor text. Again, not something to do for the paycheck… but it sure is cool.
CBR: Ph.D. in psychology, huh? Is the glass half-empty or half-full?
JMS: Interesting. Do you ask that question because you are struggling with your own inner optimism? Are you questioning the choices you’ve made? Are things alright at home? Here. Take a seat on this couch and tell me about it…
CBR: Oh, I think it’s very simple. Even though I say that I’m not materialistic, I really am a greedy S.O.B. The glass is always half-full to me. I always want more. I guess it all started when… Hold on, I’m asking you the questions here.
Seriously, though, congrats on the new job. Out of curiosity, if you work at Taco Bell like that, do you get free Taco Bell lunches?
JMS: I’d say about seventy-five percent of people who hear about my new job ask me if I get free food. The honest answer is that I don’t know, but since Taco Bell is owned by a parent company that also owns KFC, Pizza Hut, Long John Silvers, and A&W, I’m guessing that free food is one of the perks.
CBR: I’d get so bloated. There’s not one thing you said there that didn’t make my mouth water: Pizza Hut; KFC; and, of course, free. Anyway, you wrote a novel called Birthright. When do we get the next book in the storyline?
JMS: God, I hate that book. Seriously. I really enjoyed the process of writing it, but I made about one bajillion newbie-writer mistakes such that it’s painful for me to flip through it now. Probably one of the biggest mistakes I made was only essentially telling half a story, such that it begs for a sequel. I have Wrong-Born, the sequel, outlined, but to write it I would have to go back and revise Birthright, which is a major chore. It’s much more likely that I’ll publish an unrelated novel under a pen-name before I ever pick up my Birthright storyline.
CBR: Okay, how about your other writing job; the flavor text thing. Of the ones you’ve done, what’s your favorite that made it onto a card?
JMS: You know, I don’t know that I have the time to look through it all and decide which I like best. It turns out that after twelve Magic sets, I’ve written for an awful lot of cards! I will say, though, that the one that most sticks in my mind is the flavor text for Channel the Suns. The reason is that when Zvi [Mowshowitz] did his StarCityGames.com set review for Fifth Dawn, he called out Channel the Suns as the set’s best flavor text. Him saying that made me really proud, partly because Fifth Dawn was my first set, and partly because I value Zvi’s opinion on most things Magical.
CBR: You’re married with two children. Many Magic players long for a romantic relationship. As a man who, like Rizzo and Romeo, landed a woman better than you probably should have, what advice do you have for those romantically challenged Magic players?
JMS: Hmm. Jeez. I don’t know. I’ve always been one of those bizarre “nice guys” who dates women way hotter than he has any right to. My friends have postulated that it must be pheromone related, since I am utterly clueless about what it takes to actually pursue a woman. Strangers assume I have a big schlong, which doesn’t bother me in the least.
Anyway, my wife and I have a pretty great relationship, even through the strain of two children. I figure it’s based on three pillars: Honesty; Respect; and Trust. When all three are mutually in place, we’re humming. We’ve also done a good job of always putting our relationship over things like careers, hobbies, etc… but that’s all advice for once you’re in a relationship. I have no idea how to start one.
CBR: Sorry, kids. No advice on picking up babes from JMS, just some great advice on keeping one. Speaking of kids, will you try to get your kids into Magic – as Rizzo has done – hoping that they can succeed on the Pro Tour level, or will you just see if they fall into it on their own?
JMS: I couldn’t care less about them playing a Pro Tour, but I am definitely getting my kids into Magic. I’ve already worked hard to make my four-year-old son Jonah both a superhero and fantasy nerd, so I’m on my way.
CBR: Recently, you played twenty games of Magic against Chris Romeo. How did you stay sane?
JMS: He wasn’t using his mutant bizarro powers on me, thankfully. Apparently, he was watching TV and not paying attention to our games, the loser.
CBR: I’m sure he’s very sorry. Artists always have others in their field that they admire and whose style they wish they could emulate. What writers, Magic and otherwise, do you read and say, “Man, I wish I could do it like that”?
JMS: I’ve never aspired to be one of those Magic writers who will dazzle you with my turn of phrase. I like reading folks like Rizzo, Josh Bennett, [Geordie] Tait, and others but that’s just not me. I suppose I’ll never make any Hall of Fame Writer ballots, but that’s okay. I try to make my writing accessible to the widest global, audience, and I always try to write from my genuine enthusiasm for the game. The Magic writers who really impress me do so with their clarity of thought as well as with their style. Jamie Wakefield articles drew me into writing about Magic, and he’s still somewhat of a writing role model for me. Others might surprise you: Aaron Forsythe; Mike Mason; and Ted Knutson. I’ll read anything they publish, and often want to write when I’m done. As for fiction, George R. R. Martin and Robin Hobb blow me away.
CBR: Ted Knutson? Hmm… doesn’t ring a bell. Which leads me to my next question. I learn more from my mistakes than my successes. What mistakes have you learned the most from?
JMS: I’m assuming you mean with regards to Magic. As cheesy as it sounds, I feel like I learn something valuable every time I fail, whether it be losing in a tournament or getting blasted in the forums for one of my articles.
Sometimes I learn when I win a tournament or hit an article out of the park, but much more infrequently.
CBR: What piece of personal property means the most to you? I mean, if the house were burning down, the wife, kids, and pets were all safe, and the fireman said they could save one thing, what would it be?
JMS: My wife’s life is encased in her PDA and mine is encased in my laptop. It’s the first thing I’m grabbing. Once that’s safe, I would send someone in for my original framed artwork for “Moment’s Peace.”
CBR: You have an original Moment’s Peace print? How did you get that?
JMS: Not “an” original. The original, painted by Rebecca Guay. I can’t remember what started it, but about three or four years ago I decided that Magic was a significant enough a part of my life that I wanted a memento. Rebecca is probably my favorite Magic artist, so I contacted her and asked what Magic paintings she had for sale. Once we got the list, my wife really fell in love with the image for Moment’s Peace, and that’s the one we bought.
We had a chance to meet Rebecca in Anaheim two years ago at GenCon, which was great. She remembered us, and we couldn’t help but buy another one of her (non-Magic) paintings. I’m guessing that in about ten or fifteen years our house will have quite a few Guay originals. We’ve looked at other Magic artists’ stuff, but none of them strike a chord like Rebecca’s.
CBR: So, we’ve established that you like Rebecca Guay. She’s one of my two or three favorites. What’s your favorite piece of Magic art that she’s done?
JMS: I’d have to say that Moment’s Peace is now my favorite. Aside from that, I like a bunch of stuff, including Hana Kami, Kaysa, Barbtooth Wurm, Norwood Archers, Norwood Riders, Norwood Warrior, Lynx, Mobilize, Dwell on the Past, Starlit Angel, Vodalian Hypnotist, Embolden, Youthful Knight, Priest of Titania, Sky Spirit, and the new Elvish Piper. I think she was at her best in the Portal and Starter sets. If I had to pick a favorite from that list, it would be a toss-up between Kaysa and Norwood Warrior. They both make me want to play D&D.
CBR: The new WB/UPN network is looking for a movie-of-the-week, and they’ve decided to make the story of your life. You get to cast it. Who plays you and the other main cast members?
JMS: Several people close to me call me the “Faceless Man.” I get mistaken almost daily for random people. Almost everyone who’s met me says I remind them of a friend, relative, etc, and people will wave to me across the street yelling “Hey Abe!” or “Nice to see you, Steve!” When I was in Mexico, everyone thought I was a local. When I was in Amsterdam, everyone thought I was a local. It’s weird. I missed my calling as a CIA operative.
Pretty much anyone could play me, I guess. Maybe Steve Carell [from THE OFFICE and THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN]? My wife Sarah probably gets played by Kelly Preston or a 1980’s Kelly Lynch. Sadly, I have no idea who else would be considered a main character in the movie of my life.
CBR: Sunrise or sunset?
JMS: Sunset.
CBR: Coffee, Tea, or Milk?
JMS: Diet Coke.
CBR: CDs or LPs?
JMS: MP3s.
CBR: Science Fiction or Science Fantasy?
JMS: What the hell is “Science Fantasy?” I used to read both science fiction and fantasy, but now it’s all traditional and high fantasy (again, blame my wife and/or Magic for this). I have a wall-length bookshelf in my house dedicated to fantasy.
CBR: Sittin’ on the dock of the bay or up on the roof?
JMS: Dock of the bay. I don’t live by the beach in southern California for nothing.
CBR: When you say “live by the beach,” for those of us who can’t wrap our minds around the concept, do you mean “in a beach town,” or do you mean “I can look out my back window and see women in bikinis jogging down the beach”?
JMS: I moved to southern California three years ago (from the SF Bay Area). At first we rented a beach condo in Dana Point that had a panoramic view of the ocean. We could walk to the beach, and did so daily. The original plan was to only stay there a couple of months while we found a place to buy, but it was such a sweet location that we stayed for over a year. The house we eventually bought is inland, so now I can glimpse the ocean when I turn the corner onto my street but I’ve got a drive ahead of me if I actually want to be there.
CBR: Mother Goose, Brothers Grimm, or Aesop?
JMS: Honestly, I tried reading Brothers Grimm to my son last week. It scared the crap out of both of us. I’ll go for Aesop.
CBR: Michael Bolton or Michael Bolton?
JMS: Is that a trick question?
CBR: Let me be more specific: Michael Bolton the “singer” or Michael Bolton the Office Space cube dweller?
JMS: Is that a trick question?
CBR: American Idol or American Bandstand?
JMS: My wife is also way too into reality TV. I’m semi-hooked. American Idol.
CBR: I know that you know how this works… it’s a Desert Island Top Ten. You’re going to be stranded on a deserted island for a year, but you have electricity to run an entertainment center and all the food you need. What ten DVDs do you bring? Or CDs, or books? Whatever you want… you’re the one being stranded for a year.
JMS: It’s a weird question, because it isn’t anything like a “favorite DVDs, CDs, and books” list. I bring the first four books of the A Song of Ice and Fire series, to re-read. I bring a couple of dry workbooks that can help my career but that I never make time to read (let’s say The Innovator’s Solution and Good to Great). I bring two epic-length computer games that don’t require an internet connection, like Neverwinter Nights and Freedom Force vs. The Third Reich. I probably bring some long DVD that I’ve never seen, like the new Justice League of America, Season One DVD. I probably also bring a p0rn DVD to remind me what life is like when I finally get home.
[Romeo’s edit: Just as I was wrapping this up, Jay dropped a bombshell. He is leaving the world of weekly Magic writing to concentrate on his new job. I had to ask a couple of final questions.]
CBR: If it means leaving Magic writing, why, oh why, would you take the Taco Bell job? Think outside the bun, man. (Sorry.)
JMS: I think you’re being facetious, but you’re shifty. So, I’ll respond as if you aren’t. I guess the glib answer is that Magic doesn’t pay my mortgage or for my children’s childcare. As much as Magic writing is a part of my identity and self-concept, Magic is a hobby, whereas the corporate stuff is a career. So far, it seems, my career hasn’t reached the plateau.
One thing I want to clear up, though, is that I’m not leaving Magic writing. I’m leaving the demands of a weekly column. Names and flavor text is easy to fit into my new schedule, because it’s effectively “here are fifty cards, get me two names and three pieces of flavor text for each in two weeks’ time.” It’s flexible, as far as time commitments go. Not only that, but it’s two weeks on, two weeks off (while Matt and Brady make decisions), with several weeks between sets. A column is playing and writing every week without fail, which is something that was a heck of a lot easier to do before I had kids and my career took off. Anyway, the point is that during the down times of names and flavor text, I can almost guarantee that I’ll be itching to write Magic articles. Scott [Johns, MagicTheGathering.com head honcho] has already said I can write some Feature Articles for MagicTheGathering.com, and everything else I do will show up here on StarCityGames. I’ll still be writing articles, just not on a weekly basis.
…
I think I can safely say that Jay Moldenhauer-Salazar will be missed, even if he does write an article once in a while. It won’t be the same, because it won’t be enough.
One final thing that Jay wanted to let the world know: Chris Romeo no longer has a p0rn ‘stache. In fact, he doesn’t have any ‘stache at all. He is, however, still one freakishly handsome devil. [Romeo’s edit: That last sentence was all me.]
Tomorrow, the prodigal son. Figure it out, Becky. If you’re easily offended, skip to Wednesday.