News Flash! Mark Rosewater’s Monday Column Leaked!

Oscar,

Love your column, and I’m sure you’re going to love this.

I was assigned to do the graphics for MaRo’s column, so they just sent me the draft.

Aside from the Roseanne jokes, MaRo is going to play up Buehler’s past column and apologize for printing too many good green weenies in the new sets. He included his Type I Miracle Gro decklist that goes at least 60% against”The Deck” and every other staple thanks to its secret weapon: Wild Mongrel.

Oh yeah, he said Stompy with Wild Mongrel is insane because it beats his Gro.

Now he knows all you Type I writers are going to tear him a new a-hole after Monday, so he included playtesting results from Zak Dolan, Bertrand Lestree, and Alexander Blumke. You can’t touch him this time.

He’ll end by thanking all the Type I players for buying new sets after MagicTheGathering.com points out the broken cards like Living Wish and Browbeat. Expect similar Type I discussion in the near future, especially since he thinks Type I players will be the only market for physical cards after Magic Online brainwashes everyone else.

The guy’s a real jerk. I make this beautiful montage of Ancestral Recall and Mirror Universe, and he sends it back because the market research consultant said Type I players would rather see Gush and Quirion Dryad.

D.T.

PS – Tell Geordie Tait to suck it. The girls are the best players in R&D. Rosewater can’t beat any of them at Magic, Twister and arm wrestling.