Wednesday, May 28
I have just landed in Orlando, Florida, and am about to board my flight to San Juan, Puerto Rico. As I sit down, I realize what is in front of me, and start thanking the heavens that it is there. It doesn’t take much to make my day, and this is just what I needed.
A television.
Jet Blue has televisions with live channels for each seat. So, on my three-hour flight to San Juan, instead of listening to babies cry through my music, I got to watch Rome is Burning, Around the Horn, and Pardon the Interruption. What a wonderful life!
Getting to my hotel via cab was easy enough, and while Hotel Miramar wasn’t the nicest in the world, it had two beds, a working shower, and plenty of room to game, which was more than enough for me. Did I mention the awesomes that I got to stay with?
Tommy Ashton
Stephen King
AJ Sacher
Most of you know AJ by now, since he writes here, but if you haven’t met Bashtion and the self-proclaimed “Laziest Man on the Planet,” you should probably get on that right away. We had way too much fun this weekend, and I look forward to staying with these doofuses at another event in the future.
Wednesday was spent brainstorming Zendikar Block Constructed, doing an MTGO draft or two, and dismantling Pat Cox over and over again in a small testing session.
Coming into the Pro Tour, I was testing like a madman. I hate Red decks more than fat people hate salad, but they seemed like the most powerful thing you could be doing coming into this Pro Tour. Someone had to be the guy who went turn 1 Goblin Guide the whole tournament, and I saw no reason why it couldn’t be me. Sure, you couldn’t beat a Kor Firewalker, but a lot of decks didn’t play that card, and the ones that do may not draw it.
I was testing Mono Red variants while everyone was at Grand Prix: DC, and could not stand how close the UW Control matchup was. Pitfall Trap was a huge problem, and nothing made me more upset than having my opponent cast Day of Judgment and then following it up with Gideon Jura. Those games simply aren’t winnable for an aggro deck. It was time to move on!
I started checking out online results and saw that an Eldrazi Ramp deck was performing very well for a little over a week, so I decided to give that a spin. I’m not the biggest fan of ramp decks as they are control decks with no card drawing, and even the one that had Harmonize was pretty bad too. But this ramp deck felt a lot more like a slow combo deck that got to interact than a bad controlling ramp deck. This one felt a lot like a combo ramp deck that I used to hate.
A lot…
It felt a lot like Tooth and Nail. And boy, did I hate Tooth and Nail.
Sure, it wasn’t the exact same, but a lot of cards sure did seem similar.
Expedition Map = Sylvan Scrying
Eldrazi Temple = Cloudpost
All Is Dust = Oblivion Stone
Ondu Giant = Solemn Simulacrum
Alright, fine. The last one is a bit of a stretch, but you get the point. Tooth and Nail and Eldrazi Ramp play very much the same and have the same goals in mind. The goal, of course, is to ramp up to a giant moron before a control deck gains complete control or before an aggressive deck has killed you.
The positives of Eldrazi Ramp were that any deck packing Jace, the Mind Sculptor was a bye. Being able to beat the most powerful card in the format is a huge bonus, especially when I knew that the best players in the room were going to be playing the big Blue mythic rare. In order for me to top eight this Pro Tour, I needed a deck that was going to be able to beat Nassif, Scott-Vargas, Ochoa, and other Blue-piloting masters in the room. This was that deck.
The negative, of course, is that I wasn’t going to be able to beat the donks playing Mono Red. As good a matchup as UW Control was, that is how bad a matchup Mono Red was. My goal Thursday was to test the matchup with someone on-site, and see if it was fixable.
Thursday, May 29
It was time for me to get to the event site and get some work done. I said my hellos, picked up my ties from the StarCityGames.com booth, and got to testing. A friend of mine, Nate Siftar, had done a lot of work on Eldrazi Green online and was deadset on playing the deck at the Pro Tour. I told him that I was interested, and we got down to testing the mirror. All the chatter around the Pro Tour was that everyone was playing Eldrazi Ramp, so I wanted to make sure I had a clue what was going on in the mirror. After losing seven or so games, I figured out a few things:
1) The first one to cast an Eldrazi won the game
This may seem pretty elementary, but it’s the truth. Just like the first one to resolve Tooth and Nail won, the same can be said here. The mirror match was a total ramping race to see who could get to Kozilek or Ulamog first.
2) All Is Dust is a dead card
Each of us played our deck without Overgrown Battlement, so All Is Dust was a dead card in the mirror match. As good as the card is, it could not be more useless here.
3) Skittering Invasion won the mirror match
Every time Nate cast a Skittering Invasion, I was dead the very next turn. Skittering Invasion ramps a player up so far ahead that if the opponent doesn’t have an Eldrazi to cast the next turn, the game simply ended. It’s the best mana acceleration card you could play in the mirror, and it even gave you something to sacrifice to Annihilator in case it came to that point.
4) Casting Everflowing Chalice for one was always wrong
Everflowing Chalice is a card that is meant to be cast for at least four mana in this deck. Giving yourself a short-term burst of mana is simply not enough, unless your draw calls for it, which is extremely rare. Every game that I played Everflowing Chalice for one, I lost. I thought it was a mere fluke, but watching Nate cast it every game for at least two showed me what I was doing wrong.
The mirror felt like a total crapshoot, but we both wanted to be informed on what our best plan of action was. Skittering Invasion felt like the best way to go about winning the game, so we made sure we had some of those in our decklist.
After running my head into the mirror match a few more times and losing terribly (I think I won one game in twelve), it was time to head to the player’s party. When I got up there with my crew, the food was already gone, but we were told more food would be ready in an hour. The area of the player’s party was outside, and it was nice enough outside that we waited the hour and did some testing to hold us over.
I really wanted to find a way to beat Mono Red, so we got to testing that matchup. Game 1 was a huge joke, and I lost the games so quickly and in such comical fashion that we decided to move on to the sideboarded games. We tried a lot of different plans:
1) Pelakka Wurm
2) Summoning Trap + Pelakka Wurm
3) Tanglesap
4) Living Destiny
5) Summoning Trap + Pelakka Wurm + Tanglesap
6) Summoning Trap + Pelakka Wurm + Avenger of Zendikar
All of those plans failed, and they failed miserably! Mono Red was far too fast, and if they came out of the gate with Goblin Guide, it was hopeless. After another hour of discussing what could be done, we decided to give it up. Sometimes things are hopeless, and instead of wasting time trying to figure out what kind of goofy plan can be crafted, you just have to move on. I was prepared to concede the match at the Pro Tour if I got paired against it, as long as my other matchups were extremely positive.
We left the player’s party and decided to start our list from scratch. We wanted to make our deck as positive as possible against everything except Mono Red. This is the main deck we decided on:
3 Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre
2 Kozilek, Butcher of Truth
2 Ondu Giant
1 Emrakul, the Aeons Torn
4 Ancient Stirrings
4 Everflowing Chalice
4 Explore
4 Growth Spasm
4 All Is Dust
4 Expedition Map
2 Skittering Invasion
12 Forest
4 Eldrazi Temple
4 Tectonic Edge
3 Khalni Garden
3 Eye of Ugin
This configuration gave us a lot of game in the mirror match, since a lot of people were playing GW Ramp without Expedition Map. Expedition Map is the second most important card in the mirror match behind Skittering Invasion, and plays a very important role against Blue control decks. The rest of the list was very stock, but we really liked our numbers. This list was very well positioned against Blue control decks, other ramp decks, and whatever mid-range garbage people brought to the table. Conceding to Mono Red wasn’t the best feeling in the world, but you can’t beat everything in a rock-paper-scissors format.
As we went to develop our sideboard, we realized that the only card we really wanted in our board was 4 Mold Shambler. Mold Shambler was a great catch-all that was our primary answer to Luminarch Ascension. It was also great in the mirror at blowing up opposing Eldrazi Temples or Eye of Ugins. Outside of Mold Shambler, though, we weren’t really sure what we wanted.
It then dawned on us that our matchups were so good against the other decks in the format, we could afford to “waste” slots trying to mize against Red. We considered a lot of options and we came up with this:
4 Mold Shambler
4 Pelakka Wurm
4 Summoning Trap
3 Avenger of Zendikar
The 11 card package came in against Mono Red and Boros to try and steal wins. We didn’t want to build the deck this way, but we went through Gatherer for every option and none of them were too appealing. Summoning Trap would be pulling double duty as it had a major impact in the mirror match. Instead of ramping into an Eldrazi, you got to play the lottery instead! What fun!
The rest of Friday was spent watching a Ron Artest switch from moron to master under a minute to beat the Suns, watching Tommy try to convince Stephen to play a Magosi, the Waterveil in their maindeck, and listening to AJ tell us a story about a bum shrugging off a tazer attack.
I guess I should try to retell that story…
If this isn’t as funny as it should be, I apologize.
Apparently, AJ and some others went to a convenience store in San Juan one of the days I wasn’t there, and a homeless man was in front of it just hanging out. AJ and crew were shopping around and the homeless man came into the store. The store security guard was keeping a close eye on him, and understandably so. When the time was right, the homeless man grabbed a bag of chips and ran out of the store. The person running the store saw this and told the security guard to chase him down. In this chase, the security guard apparently caught up to the man and gave him the tazering of a lifetime.
And by “tazering of a lifetime,” I mean the homeless man shrugged it off and got away with the chips.
I, of course, was dying of laughter at the thought of a homeless man surviving a tazering of a lifetime just for a bag of chips, and without missing a beat, I said…
“That guy is completely psychotic, but I have nothing but respect for him. I hope he turned to the security guard and said ‘Who’s got the chips?!'”
Friday, May 30
The clock struck 5am, and I was wide awake. I do not sleep well before Pro Tours, and this was no different. My will to win is so high before a big tournament that I cannot get any sleep beforehand. AJ, Stephen, and Tommy were all out kold, which left me with showering, listening to Britney Spears on repeat, and shuffling my Tooth and Nail deck on my own for two hours.
Tommy finally came alive while I was trying on my swanky StarCityGames.com ties, and after some chatter, the other two children finally woke up. We headed over, collected the rest of the cards for our decks, and got ready for battle.
Fingers crossed for no Mono Red!
Round 1 versus Benjamin Peebles-Mundy (White Weenie)
(Uncovered) FEATURE MATCH!
Peebles and I sat next to each other in the player meeting, and I knew what he was playing the day before. He told me he hadn’t changed a card from the White Weenie deck Stuart Wright built for him three months ago. To say Ben’s deck was underpowered was an understatement, at least compared to what I was doing.
Games 1 and 2 are both pretty blurry, but a lot of things became dust and then some pissed-off alien came in and finished the day. Ben said he could have won game 1 with a different line of plays involving Brave the Elements, but it would have in turn changed my line of plays, and I informed him that he still could not win.
A general rule of thumb to my readers out there. If I am not playing White Weenie at a tournament, YOU should not be playing White Weenie at a tournament.
1-0
Round 2 versus Conrad Jackson (Boros)
Conrad is a gentleman I have seen hanging around with his very attractive girlfriend (no sarcasm, actually) for a few months now. Our paths have never crossed until now, and he was a pleasure to play.
Conrad was on Boros, which I was less than thrilled about. Boros, while not as bad as Mono Red, was not a favorable matchup. Game 1 I was able to accelerate out a Kozilek, Butcher of Truths ahead of schedule, but was unable to attack with it. The next turn, Conrad deployed a ton of threats and dared me to draw an All Is Dust. I drew…
Now things were interesting. I had a lot of mana in play and needed to find an All Is Dust to win the game. I decided to attack first and see what he would sacrifice. He opted for all but one land and a piece of equipment. I cast my other Kozilek and drew into blank, blank, blank, and Ancient Stirrings. Ancient Stirrings found me the All Is Dust that I desperately needed, and I was able to clear his board. Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre came next, and we were on to game 2.
Game 2 was the first mistake I made in the tournament. Conrad had a bit of pressure on me, and had Cunning Sparkmage + Basilisk Collar out ready to handle any and all aliens I planned on summoning. I was sandbagging an All Is Dust pretty hard, and when he finally drew his second Red mana, I was prepared to put my Eldrazi Temple in the graveyard, dismantle his board, and stabilize at a healthy five life. Conrad had other ideas, and played a threat that I had no chance to beat:
Lodestone Golem. Cute.
All Is Dust would leave me at five and him with a 5/3 in play. Awkward…
Game 3, I was getting beaten down so hard by a Kor Duelist that I had to trade an All Is Dust for it. How embarrassing! Things got a little worse as he played a two Student of Warfares and leveled them both up to level 3. Conrad played some equipment, suited up his people, and walked into battle.
But.
I had laid a Trap.
And my Trap brought some plants with it.
Avenger of Zendikar showed up off Summoning Trap and ruined his attack. The next turn, I played a land and Ondu Giant, and now I was on the offensive. Conrad drew his card and conceded. We stole one, boys!
2-0
Round 3 versus Noah Swartz (Beastmaster Green)
Noah had been testing with G/W Ramp the night before, so I was hoping he was still on that deck and hadn’t audibled to Mono Red. Instead, he’d audibled to something much worse for me and much better for the tournament.
Game 1 was a game where I needed to draw All Is Dust to win, and I simply could never find one. Noah would have been okay if I had drawn one, but it also would have given me a fighting chance.
Game 2, Noah was giving me the beatdown and decided to cast a Gigantiform on his Vengevine. Instead of his Nest Invader, Eldrazi Spawn, or Jorgara Treespeaker.
Noah – “That was probably the wrong target.”
Me – “Probably?”
The board state got very cluttered, as he kept summoning creatures but didn’t have a Beastmaster Ascension or Eldrazi Monument to put me away, but did have a Tajuru Preserver to counteract my two All Is Dust. Meanwhile, in Cedricland, I was casting Summoning Traps into Pelakka Wurms and Avengers of Zendikar, but needed an Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre to handle the troublesome Tajuru Preserver.
I was finally able to find an Ulamog to blow up his Tajuru Preserver, but Noah drew another one the next turn and I had my back to the well. Eye of Ugin tutored me up another Ulamog, and that one blew up his other Tajuru Preserver, but I had to shuffle them both back in due to their legendary status. Now all I needed was for Noah to draw land number five so that I could cast All Is Dust and clear his board.
He drew Eldrazi Monument and killed me for exactsies. Rats!
2-1
Round 4 versus Oliver Polak-Rottman (Gw Ramp)
Game 1 is extremely favorable for me against Gw Ramp, because where they have cards like Wall of Omens, Gideon Jura, and Day of Judgment, I had more ramp spells and Expedition Map. Better yet, my All Is Dusts aren’t dead because they can blow up Overgrown Battlement and Gideon Jura. Unsurprisingly, I won game 1 in fairly easy fashion.
Game 2, I stumbled around and did nothing as my opponent ramped into Mold Shamblers and Iona, Shield of Emeria. I looked at my four mana sadly, picked those up, and opted to play first for game 3.
Game 3 was probably the highlight of Day 1 for me. I was ramping well enough and then Oliver played a Summoning Trap into Terastodon. I thought I was going to lose right there on the spot, but he went very deep in the tank. He wasn’t sure what he should blow up, and settled on my Eldrazi Temple and my Forest. Journey of Nowhere hit one of my 3/3s, and it was time to start chump blocking. Oliver had a Mold Shambler the next turn, and I was in some serious trouble. I needed to start peeling well, and fast.
First came Everflowing Chalice for two, followed by trading with Mold Shambler and blocking Terastodon with a Khalni Garden token. The next turn I ripped Skittering Invasion, and just like that, I was back in the game. I took nine from Terastodon and was able to summon Kozilek, Butcher of Truths. It drew me into an Ulamog, but Oliver had other plans, and hard-cast a Terastodon. He blew up two Journey to Nowheres and his own land, and passed the turn back.
I couldn’t attack with Kozilek, so I simply cast a Mold Shambler on his Stirring Wildwood and put some more mana on the table. Oliver sent in with his boys, and I made the appropriate blocks to stay alive and hoped he didn’t have a follow up. He didn’t, and it looked like the coast was clear to send in with Kozilek. I did, and he sacced four lands. Alright, no Summoning Trap to worry about!
Ulamog came post combat to blow up his other Terastodon, and Oliver conceded the game. We were both left wondering what he did wrong, and I’m still not entirely sure. Michael Jacob came up to me after the match and said that Oliver had surely punted, but neither of us were sure how. I just know that any game where my opponent plays a turn 5 Terastodon in a mana ramp mirror and doesn’t win leads me to believe that he made a mistake. He had to blow up another land with Terastodon, but no one is sure if it should have been mine or his own.
Either way, a little good fortune never hurt anyone!
3-1
Round 5 versus Julien Hammann
Game 1, I played a turn1 Ancient Stirrings and Julien let out a sigh and let it resolve. On his turn 1, he played a Celestial Colonnade.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Both games were spent with Julien trying to counter every mana spell I played, but there aren’t enough counterspells in UW Control to do that. Eventually I was able to tutor up Emrakul and finish Julien off in two rather lackluster games.
The matchup against UW Control really is that boring, by the way. They look like they are casting a bunch of spells, but they aren’t actually doing anything while you are ramping up to Eldrazi. The best part about the Eldrazi, and why this matchup is unwinnable for them, is because you get the effect they provide whether they counter the spell or not. Countering the spell is mostly irrelevant since you get a chance to draw them again, and Eye of Ugin can tutor up whichever alien you seek.
4-1
37th place after five rounds of Constructed, and on top of the world due to my innate ability to dodge Mono Red; if you had run into me at that point, I was a very happy Ced. But, as you will find out next week, by the end of the weekend, I was a very sad Ced.
Come back next week for the finale of my Pro Tour story, as well as what I feel might be a very interesting way to shake up Standard.
Until next week!