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Insert Column Name Here – The Casual Player’s Bargain-Hunting Guide, Part 2

Read The Ferrett every Monday... at StarCityGames.com!Monday, November 24th – I just looked through Magic’s first six expansions, hunting for old bargains – every card in Arabian Nights, Antiquities, Legends, The Dark, Fallen Empires, and Homelands – and all I could wonder is, “HOW THE HECK DID MAGIC SURVIVE?” Still, just as I looked through Alpha last week hunting for cheap cards that will be useful in a variety of multiplayer decks, this week I trawled through a wealth of absolutely terrible cards to pull out the gems. And here they are.

I once read a book called “The Good Old Days… They Were Terrible!” It was an eye-opening book about how utterly godawful it was to live back in the 19th century. And if you had fond ideas that living back then was wonderful, well…

They didn’t really clean up after the horses a lot.

So you had three-foot piles of horse poop in the streets. And in the summer, it dried up, and when the wind blew down the canyons of tall buildings there were literal sh*tstorms of horse feces, so foul that you’d walk out of the house with a white wig on and return home with it so black you’d have to spend two hours picking at it with a brush and some powdered soap.

The reason I bring this up is because I just looked through Magic’s first six expansions, hunting for bargains — every card in Arabian Nights, Antiquities, Legends, The Dark, Fallen Empires, and Homelands — and all I could wonder is, “HOW THE HECK DID MAGIC SURVIVE?”

Seriously. Nothing but craptastic card after craptastic card, from the overcosted and under-doing-anything cards from Legends to the overly specific twaddle of The Dark to Oh God, not the endless, badly-done tribal repetition from Homelands and Fallen Empires.

Anyone who says that Magic used to be better back then should be strung up by his colon. Those cards were terrible.

Still, just as I looked through Alpha last week hunting for cheap cards that will be useful in a variety of multiplayer decks, this week I trawled through a wealth of absolutely terrible cards to pull out the gems. And here they are, presented for you.

Citanul Druid ($0.50)
Flexibility: 6
Price: 8
Overall: 7

I myself love cheap “Cockroach” spells, as Anthony Alongi called them — spells like Essence Warden and Taurean Mauler that casually gain strength as time goes by, creating threats that get bigger as the game goes longer. Getting a +1/+1 counter whenever an opponent casts an artifact isn’t quite as effective as it would have been when the world was Mirrodin-crazy, but there are still enough Obelisks and Signets out there that in a large-scale game, you can be assured that it’ll be picking up a +1/+1 counter every turn, making for a large (if generic) dude that you can use for cut-rate blocking or attacking purposes.

Alas, it doesn’t trigger off of your own artifact spells. Can’t have everything. But for roughly half the cost of a pack, it’s a worthy investment.

City of Brass ($3.00)
Flexibility: 9
Price: 3
Overall: 3

City of Brass used to be the go-to guy for mana-fixing — you could get any spell, but it’d cost you a life. And back then, it was totally awesome, and I would have told you to spend $20 to get a full set.

So what happened? Wizards decided to make better mana bases.

In these days, you have the new Shards of Alara taplands (at $1.00 apiece, they’re really decent options), the shocklands and bouncelands from Ravnica, Lorwyn’s filterlands — all of which provide solid mana at a pain-free rate.

Sure, they’re more expensive than City of BrassBut you still have a good chance of cracking one open randomly in a pack when you draft, or finding a bunch for reasonably cheap trades for modern rares. So even though the shocklands are $8 apiece on the books, you can probably trade a bunch of recent rares you don’t want for lands you’ll use forever. Which is, sadly, a better deal than City of Brass.

Fellwar Stone ($0.20)
Flexibility: 8
Price: 9
Overall: 8

People loved the Ravnica Signets, which cost two mana and got you your choice of two Guild-related manae. Fellwar Stone, in casual multiplayer, almost always guarantees you a full five colors at the same price, making it one of the finest non-land mana-fixers ever in group games.

Oh, it can bite you in the butt. It doesn’t help if someone’s just cast an Armageddon effect, and if one of your opponents is color-screwed it can color-screw you, and yadda yadda. For eighty cents, you can get four, and at two mana it’s a good ramper. Just get some.

Goblin Grenade ($0.75)
Flexibility: 9
Price: 8
Overall: 8

I’m basing this on the assumption that you’re going to play Goblins. Everyone plays Goblins. I’m pretty sure that Dick Cheney, who has never admitted to playing Magic in public and has no listed DCI number, has a Goblin deck in his basement that he occasionally destroys Dubya’s Elf deck with.

If you play Goblins, you need four of this card.

Fallen Empires did precisely two things: it made goblins explode, and it made you discard two at random. And that was before we had goblin tokens! Turning your Dragon Fodder or Empty the Warren tokens into five damage to the face for a single mana and a card is such a ludicrously cheap cost that for a long time, you couldn’t pick up a deck without WHAM! Goblin to the face.

Do yourself a favor and pick these up. And thank God that Wizards was wise enough to say that Isochron Scepter could only imprint instants, or every casual player worth his salt would have a Goblin deck with token-generators and Isochron Scepter imprinting Grenade. That would be just mean.

High Tide ($0.50)
Flexibility: 3
Price: 7
Overall: 3

Some folks go, “Well, High Tide was one of the best combo decks of all time!” And then they pick this up, only to discover that combo pieces tend to suck abysmally if you’re not playing that deck.

Admittedly, there are a few ways to abuse double the mana-making for a turn… But they’re all combo. Meaning that if you’re not a combo player, leave this here in our storerooms.

Homarid Spawning Bed ($0.50)
Flexibility: 2
Price: 5
Overall: 2

I do not play with this. But it’s one of those hidden gems of casual Johnnies everywhere; essentially, it’s an enchantment that lets you sacrifice blue creatures to get X 1/1 tokens, where X is the converted mana cost.

I’m not a Johnny, so I don’t get it. Yet many players go nuts when they hear about it, their eyes dancing with ideas to sacrifice blue creatures for an effect and getting these lovely tokens to use for nefarious purposes. I have yet to see a good Homarid Spawning Bed-based deck — but if you have one, email it to me and maybe I’ll talk about it in a future article.

In any case, I put it here so some Johnny can look at it and go, “That card exists?! Why, I could…” And his day will be made.

You’re welcome, Johnny.

Hurkyl’s Recall ($1.50)
Flexibility: 4
Price: 4
Overall: 3

Mentioned here only because it’s a highly entertaining response to someone’s artifact-based decks going off for fatal damage. If they really like Affinity and all their artifact lands, or just enjoy the thrill of trying to make trouble with a Myr Matrix, then you can watch the look on their faces as this long-forgotten Casual classic smacks ‘em in the butt.

Not so great with Storm-based decks, though.

Hymn to Tourach ($1.00)
Flexibility: 3
Price: 3
Overall: 3

Last week, I discussed the problems with discard in multiplayer. (Short version: You made Ashley discard a card. What about Jason, Fred, and Hannah?) Hymn to Tourach is arguably the second-best discard spell ever printed — with the first-best discard spell being, depending on your preference, either Mind Twist or Cabal Therapy — but is that enough for multiplayer?

Not really. Two at random can be devastating, and for two mana it’s a great value, but it’s not enough to take a table. If you’re building a casual discard deck, though, this is absolutely a keeper, since on turn 2 you can destroy an opponent if your luck goes right.

Ivory Tower ($2.00)
Flexibility: 6
Price: 4
Overall: 4

Oh, you academics, sitting in your ivory towers! Oh, you lifegain players, sitting in your Ivory Towers, gaining life for stockpiling cards in your hand!

Ah, I love it when flavor and mechanics meld, don’t you?

That said, this is a decent, but not great, addition to a lifegain deck, because it plops a big sign on your lawn that says, “VOTE FOR STUPIDLY LARGE AMOUNTS OF LIFEGAIN FOR ME IN ’08!” And anyone with half a brain will go, “Okay, he’s going to gain a lot of life by keeping cards in his hand — perhaps I had better affect that situation by, oh, I don’t know, attacking him and forcing him to use the cards in his hand!”

There are some decks that can use it profitably, and Ivory Tower is only a single mana, making this useful in a variety of decks that want to keep cards in hand and would like some lifegain. (I’m thinking it might make a good fit with the “hand size matters” mechanic from Saviors of Kamigawa.) But at $2.00 apiece, it’s probably not going to be as useful as you’d want it to be when you spend $8.00 to get a playset.

Joven’s Ferrets ($0.25)
Flexibility: 1
Price: 1
Overall: 1

I’ve arranged for a plane; we’re going to Miami in an hour. Try not to make a big deal of it.

I know it was you, Wizards. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!

Karakas ($8.50)
Flexibility: 7
Price: 4
Overall: 7

It’s a bit pricey, I know, and it’s rarely in stock at that price. But what you get is an uncounterable, unstoppable method of bouncing Legends back to players’ hands. Is someone about to cast that second Kokusho, the Evening Star? Well, bounce the first one back to his hand! Is Akroma, Angel of Wrath about to put the hurt on you? Boing! Is someone’s Kresh the Bloodbraided getting out of hand? Sproing!

Basically, if you throw this as a one-of into any White deck, you won’t regret it. Worst case, it produces White mana. Best case, it inadvertently destroys someone’s game plan. I wouldn’t get four, but having one or two of Karakas about the house never hurts.

Khabal Ghoul ($10.00)
Flexibility: 6
Price: 3
Overall: 5

If it wasn’t for the $10 price, this would be a must-have — but, he says sighing, I suppose this is why it’s $10. Unlike most creature-based triggers, which only react to things they sees when they’re currently in play, Khabal Ghoul remembers anything that went to the graveyard this turn. So for seven mana, you cast Damnation and then for three mana, the Ghoul comes into play with a billion counters — a stampeding beast.

Sadly, unlike Karakas, you really need four-of the Ghoul to make it worthwhile, and the trigger only happens at end of turn, making this less than ideal. If it was $3.00, I’d make it a no-brainer, but three times the price makes it far less attractive.

Land Tax ($4.00)
Flexibility: 8
Price: 5
Overall: 7

Land Tax is one of those cards you really have to see to believe. It’s not hard to get it to fire, and then — for an enchantment you can cast on the first turn — you can thin your deck by three lands every turn. In a group game, assuming you go second, someone will have more lands than you do, and after three turns you’ll have removed nearly half the lands in your deck, guaranteeing your land drops and making sure that your next draws are dynamite.

It is amazing. If you play any deck that has access to early White mana, you want this. I assure you. And unlike Khabal Ghoul, you’re restricted to only one copy in Vintage-legal play, so the $4.00 price tag isn’t too bad. Spend $12.00, get three, and put them all in three different decks.

Last week, someone mentioned in the forums that they don’t play Vintage-legal decks. That generally works for people because people quietly agree not to go balls-out, or they don’t have access to a lot of older cards. Playing with four copies of this is a good way to show you how annoying un-legal decks can be.

Library of Alexandria ($125.00)
Flexibility: 10
Price: 1
Overall: 2

Look, I own one. It’s awesome. I love it every time I draw it. But I got it back when it was $50, and even now I’ve only got it in one deck. Is it worth $125 to you to go in a single deck? Not unless that deck is superbad.

Mana Drain ($125.00)
Flexibility: 6
Price: 1
Overall: 1

A great card for competitive Counterspell decks. But you need four to make it work, and if you’re spending $500 to trick out a casual deck, I’m going to suggest that you’re probably not actually playing a casual deck.

Maze of Ith ($12.50)
Flexibility: 8
Price: 4
Overall: 7

Maze of Ith is one of those cards that casual players drool over — and rightfully so. It’s a land-based, uncounterable way of stopping an attacker dead in mid-flight, or a way of removing your needed attacker from a combat gone awry. It is, perhaps, one of the best casual cards to throw into a deck.

That said, you don’t want four — it’s a land that produces no mana, and it will slow you down. At best, you want two, and generally I go with one. And I count that one as a spell, not skimping on my other lands.

I also should add that in group games, you’ll want to very carefully decide who gets the Maze, since you can use it only once. I’ve seen people reflexively go, “Oh, wait! I don’t want to be attacked by that 2/2 knight!” and not think when Numot the Devastator hit someone else and took out their Maze. (Yes, you can do that.)

Admittedly $12.50’s an investment — but if you can afford it, it’ll help out in just about any deck. And if you wind up facing someone’s Exalted deck, well, you’ve just shut down their whole strategy. A great, great card.

Mishra’s Factory ($5.00)
Flexibility: 9
Price: 4
Overall: 7

Unlike Maze of Ith, you really need four to pull this off — but hey! Mutavault is going for $25.00, so you can pick up five of these puppies for the cost of a single Mutavault. And while they don’t get tribal bonuses, they do make each other bigger, which people always seem to forget. (The number of times a 2/2 has attacked into my Factory, only to forget that I can pump it to a 3/3? Legion, I tell you.)

I’m not saying to spend $20.00 on a set of these — but if you are serious about growing your collection, a playset of these suckers will never go unused. They’re that good. Really.

Night Soil ($0.25)
Flexibility: 6
Price: 8
Overall: 6

This would have ranked a 7 overall, except the recent printing of Necrogenesis — which, for a slightly trickier mana cost, is strictly better – has made this a little worse. But basically, even though you need your opponent to have two critters in the ‘yard, you can spend a mana to get a chump blocker.

That doesn’t sound particularly interesting, until you remember the existence of:

Unearth
Dredge
Animate Dead
Eternal Witness

And then go, “Oh, wait, this pretty much shuts down any deck whose strategy is to get things back from the graveyard!” And then you smile and realize that hey, this isn’t a token-generator, it’s a graveyard hoser with a token-generating upside. And for that, it’s worth the dollar to pick up four for your Green-heavy deck.

Sentinel ($1.00)
Flexibility: 6
Price: 5
Overall: 4

Okay, it’s a wall. And unlike most walls, it comes down on turn 4, way later than the early defense you’re looking for in a multiplayer deck. But this overlooked older card can block any creature, no matter how big, no matter what sort of Giant Growth effect they have stockpiled — and it stays that big.

It’s not my first choice of a card, but I can see it used quite well in a number of groundpounding, trample-heavy environments.

Shatterstorm ($0.50)
Flexibility: 4
Price: 6
Overall: 5

A once-awesome card slightly marred by the presence of indestructible artifacts and a faster environment where turn 4 and two Red may be a bit much to ask for, if you’re playing in an environment where artifacts are too much for you, this emergency bug patch is merely two dollars away.

Spinal Villain ($3.00)
Flexibility: 6
Price: 4
Overall: 3

You’ll need $12.00 to get four of these… But the good news is that in this Shadowmoor/Ravnica/Shards-happy environment, where all the colors bleed into each other like emo hemophiliacs, everyone’s playing Blue — sometimes inadvertently! And you can probably shoot something down every turn.

The bad news is that it’s a 1/2 that will draw its share of attention from anyone who might be affected by it, making it a pass-over for all but the most removal-free of environments.

Still, it has awesome art.

The Rack ($2.00)
Flexibility: 5
Price: 5
Overall: 4

Some cards got better in multiplayer — hey, I love that Aura of Silence affects everyone now! But The Rack got The Shaft.

The Rack (or, if you prefer, the slightly less often triggered Black Vise) is not good in multiplayer because it only affects one opponent. This opponent will have every reason to kill you, and the other guys will have every reason to sit back and let him.

It’s cheap, sure, and a great card for duels (and if you’re picking up four Hymn to Tourach for some duel-friendly discard deck, then pick up four of this), but it’s not the best for group games.

Urborg ($2.00)
Flexibility: 6
Price: 5
Overall: 4

The other decent legendary land from Legends, this won’t come in handy that often — but it’s basically a swamp with an upside. And you never know, removing first strike from something might come in handy, right?

Signing off,
The Ferrett
The Here Edits This Site Here Guy
TheFerrett@StarCityGames.com