My first deck at my first Pro Tour was slow out of the gates and low on tricks to help me outplay my opponents… But with Savages on the board and manageable pressure from the other side, it was like a combo deck. Nerves? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have butterfly tokens in my stomach.
I remember talking to the Ferrett about OMC, a.k.a. the inestimable Josh Bennett, and I said something to the effect of”I think I can be as good as OMC when I’m on my game.” We weren’t talking about Magic, as I’m sure you know. His response was both correct and slightly stinging:”You’re not OMC,” he said.”No one is.”
I told you I’d be back. It was a while ago that I had to take my leave of you, the most wonderful audience a writer could hope for, in order to do a little life maintenance. And now we’re about to find out what I’ve got left in the tank, because a story needs to be told, and I have arrived to do the telling.
Anyhow, I was playing this Etherlords computer card game with a couple of other guys. I had a good time, and after about five games, I wondered aloud to myself what was so different. Then I realized: There were no lands. And hot on the on the cranial-pathway-burning heels of that thought was this:”Man, this is nice.”
Thoughtbound Primoc really reads:”If your opponent is playing bad cards, he may gain control of this creature sometime during the game, if your removal and Sparksmith doesn’t get rid of the 1/1 after he pays 2U for it.”
Goblin Sligh might just be fast enough to work in Extended. First turn Lackey, second-turn Flunkies, attack for one, drop Goblin Piledriver. Third turn Piledriver #2, Reckless Charge it, attack for twenty-one!?
Geordie won his PTQ this weekend drafting W/R. No less a figure than Kai Budde says that W/R is the way to go in Onslaught Draft. And what card is key to the W/R archetype? Well, you know it’s not a card that begins with”G” or later, but maybe you oughtta read the article to find out.
Oh, did I mention that I won a PTQ in Detroit on Saturday? I’m going to see you all in Chicago! Come January, I’m going to be slinging spells with the big boys – and I’m going to do my damndest to bring you all along for the ride. No detail will go unreported.
*dances the TDS dance*
The two could not be more different – and as a result, the set is bear-trap for unwitting columnists. Beware! If you try rating the set in absolutes, the result will be a train wreck of a review. Case in point: Josh Lytle’s article on common Onslaught cards.
Grinning Demon is not strictly superior to Juzam. If you morph him into play, he might attack one turn sooner – but you wasted your third and fourth turns waking him up, serving him coffee, trying to get him motivated. In that way, he reminds me of me.
Geordie goes nuts and has to stop the article short at False Cure? Why is that, you might ask? Well, because he found a way to kill in Turn 3 with it in Extended. Interested?
Here, Aaron Forsythe is saying,”Yeah, Phoenix Foundation is pretty good, but here’s what I would have done.”
Any illusions that I once had about being able to do Aaron Forsythe’s job, even a little, have been shattered like so many cheap trinkets falling off the back of a truck
Down the road, when great asshammerings are talked about, in hushed tones, over stout mahogany tables littered with historical documents detailing the asshammerings of old, when venerable breath pushes the word”asshammering” past aged lips, this is the asshammering that will outshine them all; the asshammering by which all other prior and subsequent asshammerings will be judged.
Are your creatures about to eat a Mutilate? Read the Runes! Drawing too many land? Read the Runes and clear out that deadwood! Is someone casting Armageddon? Read the Runes, you won’t need the land anyway! Did you draw a redundant copy of some card? Read the Runes, and cycle it along! Wife sleeping with the mailman? Read the Runes can’t help you there…. Unless you’re Gambit from the X-Men, and then you can use your powers to imbue the card with kinetic force!
