Wacky Wednesdays #21: It’s Okay, They’re Just Elves!

It’s CHAOS! Chaos Magic, that is, and how someone did sixteen points of elf damage on the first turn. Say, why don’t you share your craziest multiplayer stories and get $5 in StarCity credit?

Chaos Magic; you either love it or you hate it. Just after the release of Unglued, we decided to have a Sealed tourney. Each player would receive a starter 5th edition and three boosters of Unglued. We thought we could do better and decided to have a round prize for the coolest play of the round, random round time (40+1d10 minutes), and a random Vanguard card for each round for everyone.

Vanguard cards are untargetable, oversized cards, which act like enchantments. For a complete list, you can click here.

We thought this would make the tournament a lot more fun. Guess what? When the Head Judge (I only helped organize the tournament, since I definitely wanted to play) announced it, one of the players actually announced that he wouldn’t have bothered to show up if he had known that from the start. See, some people just don’t like Chaos Magic. My play of the day was when the Vanguard card was Hannah; she makes all spells one generic mana cheaper. On my first turn, I played a Forest and used it to play Nature’s Lore and fetch a tapped Forest out of my deck, then played a Blacker Lotus

Blacker Lotus



Tap: tear Blacker Lotus into pieces. Add four mana of any one color to your mana pool. Remove the pieces from the game afterwards

…and ripped it apart for four green mana. I play a Durkwood Boars (4/4) and then an Ashnod’s Coupon.

Ashnod’s Coupon



tap, Sacrifice Ashnod’s Coupon: Target player gets you target drink.

Errata: You pay any costs for the drink.

I sac the coupon and have my opponent get me chocolate milk and pass the turn. I had been planning to only sac the Blacker Lotus to my Atog the whole day, but this first turn was just too good: Two Forests, a 4/4, and a drink.

Okay, enough about that tournament; let’s see what happens when the elves get all chaotic.

It’s Okay, They’re Just Elves! By David K Kadonsky

My favorite multi-player format is Chaos four- and five-way free-for-all… So much so that I updated the outdated Chaos Magic list. In this game, my friend rolled the Enchant World Land Aluren. This was quite fortunate for me and my Elf deck. At the end of the player to my right’s turn, I played out quite a bit of my hand:

Llanowar Elf

Llanowar Elf

Quirion Ranger

Priest of Titania

During my turn, I dropped a forest, tapped my Priest and Forest for five mana and played an Overrun. Untapped my Priest and attacked the poor soul to my left. Given, it was”only” sixteen damage to one of my opponents, but starting the game at four life will put a crimp in any player’s day.

Next week

I’ll be going to PT Nice this weekend to do some serious judging and hopefully get a couple of nice games of 5-color in with Mr. Montanhas himself: Rui Oliveira. Who knows? Maybe we’ll have some other people join and I’ll have him write a Wacky Wednesday article. I got some nice stories lined up already, though, so I probably won’t even have to write an introduction next week. If you have any comments or stories, email me at [email protected].

‘Til next week, have fun,


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