The Top 10 Ben Bleiweiss Articles of All Time

About Ben Bleiweiss: Ben Bleiweiss is one of the most popular Magic writers on the internet, if you include everybody. Aside from failing to make Day 2 on the Pro Tour seven times, Ben managed to choke the one time he did make the second day in Mainz, going 0-2-1 the last draft table to finish in 24th place. When he’s not presiding over his duties as janitor of StarCityGames.com, Ben has been known to be a part of the Wizard Pro Tour coverage team, where he is ranked first worldwide in fetching McDonalds for Josh Bennett and the R&D staff.

When Ted approached Ben Bleiweiss to write one of Ben Bleiweiss famous home-cooked Top 10 lists, Ben Bleiweiss was much obliged! Ben Bleiweiss thought that Ben Bleiweiss would be the perfect person to write about Ben Bleiweiss, since Ben Bleiweiss had written all of Ben Bleiweiss works. Ted gets his Ben Bleiweiss Top 10 list from Ben Bleiweiss, and Ben Bleiweiss would like to thank God for this opportunity to let Ben Bleiweiss have the proverbial home court advantage on this very special day. Ben Bleiweiss also thanks Ben Bleiweiss fans for all their support of Ben Bleiweiss over the years. This one is for you!

Without further ado, Ben Bleiweiss presents a Top 10 list of epic proportions: The Top 10 Ben Bleiweiss articles of all time, as presented by Ben Bleiweiss, voted on by Ben Bleiweiss, and written by Ben Bleiweiss.

10. Uncommon Knowledge: The Zoo

Ben Bleiweiss remembers this article fondly. It was Ben Bleiweiss failed attempt at prose, at a time when Ben Bleiweiss was going through a precocious artistry phase. This experiment did not work for Ben Bleiweiss, though it did prompt Ben Bleiweiss to have the longest conversation of Ben Bleiweiss life with Mark Rosewater. And by conversation, Ben Bleiweiss means that Ben Bleiweiss ass was chewed so raw that Ben Bleiweiss couldn’t sit for a week. Ben Bleiweiss never missed another deadline for Ben Bleiweiss editor at the time (Aaron Forsythe) again, and Ben, Aaron and Mark lived happily ever after.

9. Selecting 9th Edition Dilemma: Gratuitous Violence

Little known fact: Ben Bleiweiss had sent this off to be filmed by a friend of Ben Bleiweiss in New Orleans, with real actors and everything. Seven months later, Ben Bleiweiss is waiting for the first film reel to show up. Ben Bleiweiss curses Nicholas DiNatale for having other priorities in life other than making Ben Bleiweiss short films. Ben Bleiweiss thinks that Nick’s family should starve and that Nick should stop taking paying jobs, and spend a couple of weeks making Ben Bleiweiss short Magic film for free!

8. I’ll Bet 100 Words Per Card That These’ll All See Play In The New Extended

Ben Bleiweiss was pleased that Justin Gary finished in first place that Pro Tour with his Angel of Mercy deck that Rob Dougherty reanimated Jhovall Queen for the win several times, and that Darwin Kastle was a huge fan of Captain Sisay. Mission accomplished. [It’s too bad you didn’t make that bet this year. – Knut]

7. The BEST First turn Type I Play EVER!!!!!!

Ben Bleiweiss was born in a ramshackle tavern in the backwoods of Missapouriana, and wrote this post while strung out on cheap moonshine. Ben Bleiweiss awoke the next day to find a fine woman named Bertha sleeping on his arm. Ben Bleiweiss hacked off Ben Bleiweiss arm with a machete and reattached it later with some catgut and pure determination.

6. Uncommon Knowledge: Tap One Mountain, Part 2

Ben Bleiweiss thinks that this is Ben Bleiweiss best article on MagicTheGathering.com, give or take Ben Bleiweiss Top 50 lists. Ben Bleiweiss would also like the people to know that Ben Bleiweiss cares about you and will give you a hug when you need one.

5. Who’s the Beatdown

Ben Bleiweiss would finally like the world to know that Ben Bleiweiss pen name is Michael J. Flores.

4. Blog Fanatic: [author name="Brian Kibler"]Brian Kibler[/author] Bingo!

Ben Bleiweiss had five people simultaneously message Ben Bleiweiss “Bingo” on the day of the Pro Tour. Ben Bleiweiss would like to thank these people for their fine support of reading Ben Bleiweiss articles, as the message matched the hit counts on Ben Bleiweiss entire Blog Fanatic run.

3. Blog Fanatic: Big Jeff vs. The Brubaker

Ben Bleiweiss wishes that he could watch more games between Big Jeff and The Brubaker, if just so that Ben Bleiweiss could see the Brubaker still tapping tapped permanents with Icy Manipulator and to see Big Jeff build a Sin City theme deck centered around Grollub, Goblin Kites, and Mirozel.

2. Blog Fanatic: Red Sox Suck! A.k.a. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKE GUPTIL!

Ben Bleiweiss would like to make two observations here. One, Ben Bleiweiss knows that the Yankees will beat the Red Sox this Sunday. Ben Bleiweiss guarantees this, or Ben Bleiweiss will shave his head bald! Ben Bleiweiss also accidentally deleted this article while performing website maintenance and Ben Bleiweiss would like to apologize to the legions of Yankees fans who missed out on seeing this article on its’ first run. Ben Bleiweiss has asked Ted to restore this article, and Ted has graciously acquiesced to this request under threat of Ben Bleiweiss sending Ted nude photos of Ben Bleiweiss basking in the evening sun.

18,000 Words: The 100 Worst Magic Cards of All Time.

Part 1 (100-81)

Part 2 (80-61)

Part 3 (60-41)

Part 4 (40-21)

Part 5 (20-1)

Ben Bleiweiss also dedicates this article to Ted Knutson, who pushed Ben Bleiweiss to write this awesome series not knowing that each installment would run over 7,000 words and would have to be edited daily. The moral of this story: be careful what you wish for, you might just get the Ben Bleiweiss.

Ben Bleiweiss can be reached at [email protected].