Hello everybody! I am Evan Erwin, and this is your Magic Show for the week.
[The following is a transcript of the show, which you really should check out.]
[No, seriously. This is the biggest format change since I began.]
Much Ado About Tenth Edition
So Tenth is coming and we’re finally getting those delicious black borders back. This may actually compel me to buy some of the set, were it not for the unbelievably bad cards that you have to suffer through (Glory Seeker, I’m talking to you).
With that said, the rumors are flying at what may be coming back. Firstly we know that the big man of Extended, Troll Ascetic, is on his way back, and cards like Incinerate are supposed to make Radha good (head in her hand, man!).
The real question is this: Is Wrath in Tenth? It sounds like a dumb question, but just how far is Damnation from being the ultimate Black card, much like Wrath was the ultimate White one?
How long can the debate now rage that White Is Boring versus Green Sucks?
Only time will tell.
Ground Control To Major Forsythe
Over at MagicTheGathering.com, Aaron Forsythe asked his readers to tell him if they watched the recent PT: Geneva coverage on YouTube. Most didn’t.
And you know why they didn’t? Because you didn’t show the actual coverage, did you? You showed the wrap-ups. Jesus, do I really have to say this? Hello, McFly!
I love Brian-David Marshall and I think Randy Buehler is a brilliant guy. But I want the beef with my potatoes, you know what I’m saying? Give me some of the matches you guys keep under lock and FTP, and we’ll talk.
Here’s a challenge: Wizards, at your next big event that includes a webcast, post the matches on YouTube afterwards. I guarantee – guarantee – they will get at least three times as many hits as Brian and Randy’s wrap-ups.
For those curious of the reason they’re not on there already: Because YouTube’s 100MB limit is a b*tch. A straight up female dog that doesn’t give anyone more than 100MBs, and that’s painful stuff. This means that there will be…*gasp*…EDITING involved!
Yes, you see, where very few would enjoy watching 50 minutes of card-flipping with Flores yammering in the background, you can edit most three-game matches down to about 15 to 18 minutes, tops.
How do I know this? Because I do it, each and every time I cover StarCityGames.com tournaments.
While I appreciate the live webcast coverage, man, wouldn’t it be spectacular to have Cliff Notes’ versions of classic matches?
I mean, it’s not like you can’t get creative with this type of editing. You have multiple cameras rolling for these events, meaning you can bring out your dramatic moments. You can slow the video down at the right time, bring in the commentary, give us our Craig Jones Lightning Helix moments, but at the same time, I don’t need to waste 45 seconds of my life watching some guy count his mana, flip his cards like a man on fire, then pass the turn.
The problem right now is they’re not using the ‘Tube enough or well enough.
You guys want any more tips on the video thang, I’m just an email away.
That Crunchy Akroma
In the recent press materials that have gone out about Future Sight, we saw the following advertisement.
Now apparently in the future there are statues – some would call these “artifacts” – of iconic characters. Memorials, if you please. The only one spoiled at this point, an unconfirmed spoiler mind you, but it makes sense, is the Akroma Memorial. Let’s take a look:
Akroma’s Memorial
7
Legendary Artifact
Creatures you control gain Flying, first strike, vigilance, trample, haste, protection from black, and protection from red.
Now take that in. Think about it. Breathe. Let the air of Akroma and all that is a Legendary Angel run through you.
Done yet? Because as with every other rumor mill posting we have the same people saying it’s both broken and crap (“It’s broken!” “No, it’s the crapzor!” “I hate all of you people!”)
Others, of course, believe it may be something altogether different: a white enchantment, perhaps, that makes you pay seven mana to bestow Akroma’s abilities on target creature. “Oh, does Mr. Gwizzly have first stwike? Mister Gwizzly has first stwike and twample now, oh yes he does.”) Others think it may be equipment? But how you equip yourself to a statue I’ll never know, and that’s probably for the best.
I for one think this card, as it’s currently spoiled, is just another good-in-Limited-bad-in-Constructed card, GILBIC for short.
GILBIC: Starring in set reviews since 1995!
Drink Your Haterade
Have you noticed Chris Romeo is a little…upset lately? Not so much mad… more like… Disturbed?
(Queue the Disturbed Soundtrack)
Why you gotta be so mad, bro? You know I love your stuff, and you know your faithful readers love your stuff. What gives?
Well, after another admittedly painful week, Chris goes on to say he’s rethinking the Angry Old Man stance. And it’s a good thing. It fit about as well as a frog in a dress. Or a girlfriend on a Magic player. Or something.
Meanwhile, Geordie Tait finally got himself banned by blasting our own Rivien Swanson. Turns out he has quite the hatred for The Great Designer Search, as it – gasp – empowers we mere geeks to think for ourselves about the direction the game is headed in!
I know, it’s quite horrifying. Before you know it, those little bastards may actually learn something about design and development! Quickly children, to the bomb shelter!
Magic Online Finally Reaches Chaos
Yes Magic fans, your favorite online client finally received the expansion we’ve been busting packs of for over a month now. Congratulations to the Magic Online team for yet another month-delayed release: You did it! Late!
Dear WOTC: I love you guys. Please fix this. Hire programmers who can read NDAs, thanks.
“Hrm. It says here I have to keep these cards off MTGSalvation. I’m sorry, I’m just not that kind of coder.”
“What do you mean we can’t share the cards with my playgroup?”
It’s not that they aren’t out there, and it may be a question of money. How much money do you think they would make or lose by moving the online release schedule closer? Is this really a purely economic decision?
I once read that they have to delay the releases until the programmers can code the new cards, beta testing can begin, etc. Were they to give the programmers the cards early enough to make a difference, they could leak the information.
All I can say is, you already have Non-Disclosure Agreements with all sorts of people, why not your own staff? Doesn’t this sound silly? Why aren’t we beta testing the release of the set on prerelease weekend?
Those poor Magic players overseas need some love, guys. Can’t we make this happen?
Final Thoughts
A few things before I go:
#1 – Congrats to Raphael Levy. Gaea’s Might actually got there this past weekend (Oh yeah, that joke was awesome) and it couldn’t have happened to a better player. Everyone loves the Levy, yo. And with good reason. He’s good, he’s been good, and he’ll stay good.
#2 – Did anyone else note that there was a total of five cards from Planar Chaos in the Top 8 Grand Prix decks, and that four of those were Porphyry Nodes in a U/W Tron player’s sideboard.
What does this mean? Well, it means that Extirpate is Orson Wells on the radio!… right?
Oh, oh, wait. It means that players were too afraid of bringing something new to such a huge event, right?
Hrm. Perhaps it means that Extirpate is a better Standard card than Extended card… but that doesn’t seem to make sense.
For all you wacky deckbuilders, I suggest throwing at least one Extirpate in Dralnu control. You have no idea how scary it is to see Mystical Teachings grab one at the end of your turn.
And yes, that card is still completely ninja. Quarter bins of the word, watch out!
# 3 – A moment of silence for the Tait
Geordie may be banned from the forums, but don’t’ worry kids: he’ll forever hate us in his heart, even if he no longer gets the chance to explain just how badly we all suck.
Until next time, this is Evan Erwin, tapping the cards so you don’t have to.
Evan “misterorange” Erwin
dubya dubya dubya dot misterorange dot com
eerwin +at+ gmail +dot+ com
Inspired by Ze Frank
Music Credit: "Thirty-Three" by The Smashing Pumpkins