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The Combat Phase – Ace of Cakes

The StarCityGames.com Open Series comes to St. Louis!
Monday, June 14th – In today’s edition of The Combat Phase, King of Fatties Jamie Wakefield ventures out from behind the neon MTGO glow and participates in some honest-to-goodness FNM spell-slinging! He also continues updating his Green deck du jour, with an eventual eye on the PTQ prize…

So, it is Tuesday and we are waiting for the finale of Glee and “Losing it” with Jillian. Jillian is a personal trainer, and each week she goes to some family’s home and takes someone’s virginity… No wait, scratch that, it’s about weight loss.

The day has been spent doing chores, testing decks, finding out about where to play Friday Night Magic this week and debating if we should go to the Providence PTQ this weekend. Wendy went to school in Providence and is anxious to return, but it does not have to be this weekend. Since the Magic scene in Middlebury is non-existent right now, I have no way to play with physical Magical cards until FNM or the Providence PTQ. If we’re going to Providence, it is for the weekend and my first game with physical cards will be at the PTQ. That doesn’t seem wise to me. I can hear the future cries of “Judge!” and then “Judge!” and then “Judge!” echoing in my head already.

I order four All is Dust. I called the place that does FNM, wishing to support them, but they also have zero. StarCityGames.com is out of stock. So, I have them on overnight delivery so I can practice at FNM. It is now the end of the day, and chores are done; it is time to relax.

While waiting for something good to come on, we look through the guide and find Ace of Cakes. Wendy heard it was good, and we love food TV. I have no desire whatsoever to watch a show about making cakes. Show me grilling. Show me seafood. Show me new locations and how the delicacy is horse tongue.

Cakes? Really?

I have a saying that all husbands should learn: when Wendy requests something, I say “Your whim is my command.”

More on that later. It is actually relevant.

Today’s deck is called “Combined,” where I have tried to combine elements of both decks that at one point I have been very excited about, and at other times, despondent. Taking some tips from the responses to last week’s article, I come up with this.


I don’t have any answer for Black other than Tajuru Preserver, which seems awful, but I thought I would try him and see. People are asking in forums why I am not using the more expensive Eldrazi, and it is because, I can assure you, even the difference between 7, 8, and 9 mana is huge. Going higher than that, without some alternate way to get 11 and 15 mana creatures into play, is not feasible. Even with an alternate route, if that alternate route doesn’t show up, it’s just nice to be able to cast them.

This isn’t the original version, but one with which I started to have success. I started to get discouraged, did a lot of thinking about what was going wrong, and came up with this. I sign up for a match in the practice room and get a nice opponent who always says “good game.”

Game 1 — Magic has decided not to save that game, so I have nothing to tell you other than I recognize it is Super Friends and side in 4 Pithing Needles

Game 2, I start off with some Forests, a Llanowar Elf, Rampant Growth, then Explore, drawing Arbor Elf which I immediately play. Let’s see… I have a potential six mana on the board on turn 3. I am holding two Pelakka Wurm and an Artisan. He has two Seaside Citadels in play, one of them tapped.

He plays a Forest, Sea Gate Oracle. I untap, draw Explore, play the Forest I drew. He plays Elspeth and starts to level her up. I play Forest, Pelakka Wurm, he plays Vengevine (who does not attack). My Wurm attacks Elspeth and he throws everything he has in front of it, killing the Wurm (I draw a card) but leaving him with only Elspeth and Vengevine on the board. I play my Artisan, getting back my Pelakka Wurm and going up to 34 life. He plays Oblivion Ring on the Artisan. I draw a Pithing Needle and play it naming the Planeswalker, and attack with the Pelakka Wurm. Then I play another and a Llanowar Elf. He plays Jace, draws three cards, and says “GG” and we move to game 3.

He gets a turn 3 Elspeth off a Bird of Paradise, while I ramp up using Arbor Elf and Rampant Growth. I play Pithing Needle and he Bant Charms it. He makes a soldier and I make a Pelakka Wurm. He plays a Sea Gate Oracle, Noble Hierarch, flies in for 4 with a soldier token.

I draw All is Dust.

Attack with the Wurm, Wrath of Everything, and draw a card off the Pelakka.

He plays a land. I play Forest, Artisan, returning Pelakka Wurm, going up to 25. He promptly Oblivion Rings my Artisan, so I play another Pelakka, swing with the first. He plays Sea Gate Oracle and says “Good Game.”

Better lucky than good?

I don’t know, his draw seemed as good as mine; he just wasn’t expecting the All is Dust. I holler up to Wendy who is working in her office upstairs, “I just beat the best deck in the format two out of three!”

“You rock!”

But based on what I just learned, I make it into this —


See, now that I am not trying to get to three mana on turn two, Explore, Rampant Growth and Terramorphic Expanse now make sense. I played against a guy playing Summoning Trap and I thought “WTF have I been thinking? That’s Green’s way of putting Ulamog into play. That’s my Natural Order.” Okay, NOW this deck has some depth and some tricks.

The first game goes well against B/W Vampires when I have a fast start with Joraga into Rampant Growth. Another Joraga and an Eldrazi Temple gives me an Artisan on turn 4. He plays a Sign in Blood and then he starts sacrificing permanents and taking a lot of damage. It’s over on turn 5.

Game 2 I get a Joraga again and he immediately Oblivion Rings her. I play land, he plays Hypnotic Specter then Mind Rot. Not good. For me. I draw a Joraga and play her, level her up twice with the extra mana I have. He attacks with the Hypnotic and luckily, for me, strips a land from my hand and I get to keep my Summoning Trap. When he attacks with the Hypnotic and a Vampire Nighthawk, I cast the Summoning Trap and get to choose Ulamog, the Infinite Gyre and put him into play. Some bad. For him.

I draw an Explore, play it, draw another Explore, play it, draw another Gyre. I attack with the first and he’s sacrificing land and Oblivion Rings. He draws and concedes.

As cool as these results are, I am wondering which will be the wiser path? Go big or go home? Or play castable fatties? I’m totally sold on Artisan since he only costs nine, but the Gyre is eleven mana. Unless I get a Summoning Trap, aren’t I mulliganing down to six every time I draw him in the opening hand? Wouldn’t a Crusher be better? But if I go the other route, shouldn’t I take the Gyre out and put in Emrakul, which immediately wins me the game if I see him off a Summoning Trap?

I buy four Emrakul and take out the Gyres. See, if I can beat the decks I should with bad draws, then get great draws against the decks I should lose to, casting Summoning Trap and Emrakul, then I win.

My first opponent with the revised deck is playing Vampires, and that usually terrifies me when I see a Swamp hit the board. Green hates Swamps.

I get a nice draw of Llanowar Elf, Land, 2 Explore, and Emrakul. Essentially, unless he is playing discard, I have mulliganed down to six. The game goes, well, like a dream. Land, Elf, next turn land, Explore, put a land into play, Explore, another land into play, draw Summoning Trap. He kills the elf, plays some vampires. I play Summoning Trap and get Emrakul when he attacks. I block and kill a vampire. He has six permanents on the board. To add insult to injury, I draw All is Dust and for some reason cast it before attacking.

Game 2 I have a phenomenal draw and he loses connection to the game…

Explore, Joraga Treespeaker, and Summoning Trap have become my favorite cards in the format.

I make no changes, and my next opponent is R/W Steppe Lynx, Cunning Sparkmage, Burn, Basilisk Collar. Things look bad in the first until I Summoning Trap into a Emrakul and he doesn’t have a Cunning Sparkmage with Basilisk Collar to kill him; I block and kill his Steppe Lynx, and then he sacrifices 6 permanents (all but two of everything he has) and concedes.

The second game we both get a slow start, but he gets Cunning Sparkmage plus Collar and kills everything I put on the board, including Emrakul. All is Dust doesn’t even help because he is holding another Sparkmage.

I side in Pithing Needle and get one on the draw. When I play it naming Basilisk Collar he exclaims “Nice play!” I reply with “Thanks!” and a smiley face.

You would think that would be good, but I am mana shy and he just runs me over with Steppe Lynx and Goblin Guide on about turn 4.

It is time to do dishes and reflect. Indestructible is pretty good. So are walls. Of course, so is Pithing Needle and a little more mana… I decide to change nothing.

My next opponent is playing a B/G rogue deck.

Game 1 is insane. Forest, Elf, to Forest, Explore, Forest, Elf, turn 3 Eldrazi Temple, Summoning Trap on his turn to Artisan. Turn 4 another forest, Pelakka Wurm. Why are you not conceding? I attack, leaving him with two Swamps and he concedes on his fourth turn. Yeah, fourth turn I have Pelakka Wurm and Artisan on the board.

Game 2 shows the danger of playing this deck. I draw land and fatties, but not enough mana producers, and he draws a lot of fast Black attacking creatures and reduces me to two on turn 6. I cast All is Dust, clearing his board, but then Bloodghast is Unearthed and I am a sad panda.

Game 3 is like game one. Forest, Elf, turn 2 Forest, Joraga, tap the Elf, level up Joraga (who he promptly Doom Blade). Forest, do nothing, Forest do nothing, on your turn tap everything to cast Summoning Trap — Emrakul . Draw Eldrazi Temple, cast All is Dust to kill your three creatures, attack, leave you with zero permanents on the board – win.

I think I’m ready for FNM tonight, and I also join the queue for the online PTQ on Sunday morning starting at 6:00 a.m.

I call the game store an hour away where I am playing Magic tonight. “Do you guys save cards for people coming to play Magic tonight?”

“If it’s a short list, we can do that… what do you need?”

“Four Summoning Trap.”

“We have those.”

“Four Emrakul, the Aeons Torn.”

He laughs in my face. “Sure you do. No, we don’t have those.”

Oh yeah, Mythic… “Okay then, I’ll look through your Eldrazi when I get there, thanks.” (For those who think I am making a snarky comment, I am not. I am merely saying I forgot they were ultra rare.)

I go upstairs into the eaves to look for Forests, Rampant Growths, and Llanowar Elves. I finally find my box of Green cards and start looking through it. Thirty minutes later I’m halfway done. Did I really used to spend this much time looking through cards? MTGO makes it so easy…

What would make it easier is if I actually took the time to throw out the old cards I’m never going to use. Do you know how many Craw Wurms, Grizzly Bears, Ironroot Treefolk and Durkwood Boars I have? Hundreds. It is quite the journey through time. Lure of Prey — ah, so fun, the beginnings of Secret Force. Craw Giant “Ho ho ho. Midgets, you think you can stand in my way?” Trample, Rampage 2. Try and first strike him dead with your White Knights. Go ahead — try. Saber Ants. So cool. Gaea’s Liege. So bad, but you wish with all your heart he was good. Tracker + Aspect of the Wolf = win. Simian Grunts — “Darwin comes into play, destroys a land, and runs through the Forest to attack you! Simian Grunts rip his head off! Oh, the carnage!”

Force of Nature. Sigh. He was in the first pack I ever opened. Destiny?

Time shift.

It is Saturday morning, and I need to finish this up for Craig and get this submitted. I went to bed at 2am and it is now 8:30am. I awoke instantly and thought two things.

1. I need more sleep or the day is going to suck
2. I should get up and write about last night and play some more.

Wendy is deeply asleep next to me. I slide out of bed, close the door behind me and slip down the stairs, quietly, and go to my fresh laundry and find sweatpants and a green t-shirt (natch). Coffee happens, but not fast or strong enough. It was a mistake to get up, but I must continue.

My cards arrived from a number of places. One package arrived addressed to THE Jamie Wakefield, which made me and Wendy laugh. Hey, these days I need all the support I can get. Sue me.

We watched the finale of Top Chef, and I told Wendy I had two favorites: Rick Bayless and anyone who beats Marcus Samuelson. Susur should have won, but Marcus does, and I am happy that at least he has a good charity for the money to go to. We watch some “So You Think You Can Dance,” and I sleeve cards and make adjustments based on availability. What I can play physically is not the same as what I have online. At 3:10 I get restless and tell Wendy I have to go.

“Nooooo! You told me 3:30!”

“I need to do some stuff, and I I’m getting restless.” Which was a good choice, because I have forgotten my DCI number and I want to look that up online, which I find nearly impossible, and I need to print out my current decklist so I can buy the cards I need at the shop. After fifteen minutes of trying, I give up finding my DCI number and Wendy springs into action, calling WOTC customer support and telling me she will call me on the road once she has it. I am so tight on time I forget to change my shirt into something geeky, like a PT shirt or Superman logo or Sandman himself.

She calls me on the road and tells me that the store I’m playing at should be able to look it up, but they can’t give it to her over the phone since she is not me.

I have found a bunch of cards to sell and a bunch of cards I need. I arrive at Quarterstaff games to find friendly staff that happily find me four Summoning Traps, four Explore, and zero Joraga Treespeaker. What do you mean, zero Joraga Treespeaker? I guess I’m going with Arbor Elves that, luckily, I have with me.

I end up with this:


The logic is:

1. Platinum Angel is almost an auto win against Mono Green Aggro.
2. Anyone running White will have O-Ring for me to Naturalize and then swing for 8 and Annihilator 2.
3. Hopefully, Preserver will help against Mono Black.
4. Destiny will help against Red Deck Wins.
5. Pithing Needle naming Jace for Super Friends.

I get a $173.00 in credit for cards I will never use again. I sign up for FNM, buy my cards and an oversized D20 using said credit, and sleeve up. There are two guys at the only table I see in the shop and go over to get ready. “You guys here for FNM?”

One of them laughs. “Well, it’s a Friday, and we’ll be playing Magic, but we won’t be in FNM. We’re casual players and we’re meeting here then going to my house to play all night.”

Neat.

“How do they play FNM here? I heard they get 12 to 20 people, and I see this one big table.”

“The play room is next door.”

Oh, that used to be a hair salon. I go look and see six massive tables, a time clock, a Gauntlet video game, bathroom, and two vending machines, one selling soda the other snacks. Awesome.

We have quite a mix for FNM this week. Middlebury was a pretty well developed crew with few newcomers. Here, there is the obvious serious players, a dad with two kids, a couple of casual players, and one poor guy who has an illegal deck in the first round because he doesn’t know what Standard means.

I approach the obvious tournament players and try to engage them because I need people to test against, friends that play Magic, and a new cast.

A new cast? Yes.

We start to watch “Ace of Cakes,” and they don’t start building cakes. They start with their “Fail” folder, which is printed copies of emails that are so badly worded or ludicrous. They have a stamp that says “WTF” and stamp each letter multiple times. Hilarious. The office staff is seen chuckling, and they are introduced. They talk about how much coffee they are going to need, and their new French press coffee maker. I prefer my single cup. Yankees versus Red Sox rivalries in the office are brought up. It is suggested that Elena was conceived in Fenway Park. A bass guitar is played. There is cake building, but there are no recipes, no flour, no eggs, no instructions. And yet it is great. The personalities are engaging, the cake making is a small part of the show, but I laugh multiple times and find the personalities engaging.

There are people who used to like my writing in the past, and have said they think that it is now suffering. They are probably right. I think this is because in the past I had a vast and interesting cast of characters, and now… I have Wendy. She is an interesting character, but she (we) cannot carry the show by herself (ourselves). Hence I must expand the cast of characters, and today I will. As Adrian asked in the forums, “Where is Joshie?” Well, Joshie abhors the current Standard and is planning a wedding in July, so he’s too busy and not playing. Alan Webter has a new baby and is not playing Magic right now either. Those two provided a lot of the humor of the articles, so I need a new cast.

Side note- Okay, I have just seen the new trailer for New Moon (which, oddly enough, is an ad in the middle of Ace of Cakes), and I have betrayed everything I have ever believed in by squealing like a little girl… I’m sorry, the first book was crap. That is not good writing. They improved from there, and I am ashamed to admit I read all four. The trailer with the werewolves fighting the vampires is stunning. I will be there opening day, and I hate myself for it.

I see Jund versus Super Friends and watch the game. “So, any of you guys go to PTQs?”

A short discussion is had about who goes and who doesn’t, and it is explained to me that tonight’s FNM is low on people because some of the PTQ players are down in Providence tonight for tomorrow’s PTQ. I make friends with Zack, who knows who I am and tells me his story of getting his fourth Jace last week out of a random pack. He also tells me he is friends with Justin Olson, who was up here a couple days ago playing one of my Green lists. Awesome! At least one of my old crew is playing.

Justin is an amazing guy. Funny, emotional, original, and very good with women. He doesn’t give a sh** what you think, and paints his nails (both toes and fingers) black sometimes and wears whatever the hell he wants. I have been asked if he is gay by two or three people, and I reply “Nope. That man loves women. He scores more than anyone I have ever met, except for Hilary.” And the women he dates are usually model-quality beautiful. Stunning.

I look around the room and realize that I am very glad I did not change my shirt. Everyone here is dressed in nice, casual clothes. There are no superhero shirts, no Flash emblems, no Magic shirts, nothing. Weird.

My first opponent of the day is Wesley, who is with his own variation of Esper Control. He is one of the players I watched earlier that was clearly serious. Damn, I was hoping to get one of the kids for my first match-up!

He is thin, good looking, with a great personality, and is very kind to someone who is used to the computer making sure he doesn’t make any mistakes. He reminds me to fetch a land when he casts Path to Exile, and shows me his cards when he plays them and explains things. I do my best to get back into the groove of playing physical Magic perfectly. Since his deck is his own creation, I have to read a few of the cards. (To my detractors: yes, I do know all the cards in the typical top Standard decks, but I do not know ALL the cards in the current Standard. When I see something out of the norm, yes, I do have to read it. This is one of the reasons why I am constantly looking for new cards for my deck, because I use cards no one else I see playing online.)

Of course, my deck decides to betray me against the first serious player I have faced in years, and I get land screwed and do nothing good; he beats me 2-0. His deck was perfect for beating mine, was very tight, and he probably would have beaten me even with my good draw. I’m not trying to take anything away from him by saying my deck didn’t perform… I just mean it would have been nice to have had a better match against a serious deck and serious player.

The amazing Ben Klein is our judge today, and he is presiding over the two kids who have been paired together in the first round. They have sixty permanents on the board, and Ben is patiently explaining the steps of what happens in each phase, how you have to do Annihilator first before blocking, and how upkeep effects happen before drawing. He is very cool. They finish their first game with two minutes remaining in the round.

My second round opponent is one of those kids, Denver, who is ten, turning eleven in July. He is a very good kid, and while we shuffle he asks me “What’s the best card in your deck?”

So funny.

“I would guess Artisan of Kozilek. What’s yours?”

He names a card I don’t recognize.

He is very cute, very fun, easily distracted, and has the typical unfocused ten-year-old deck. Of course, in this match I never have to mulligan, get perfect draws, curve out perfectly, and crush him in two straight very quickly.

Wesley is playing the other ten year old, Alex, who he beats 2-1. Wait, what? 2-1? Yes.

Zach hollers over to me. “Jamie! Justin just texted me. Come read it.”

He shows me his phone, but my eyesight is getting worse as I get older and I cannot read it. I ask him to read it to me. He does, and it is something along the lines of “Burn Boy says hello, you are a scrub and you know it.”

Zach asks me, “Any reply?”

“Yeah, tell him that, if he hasn’t committed any crimes that prevent him from leaving the country, he should go get a passport. I’m going to Montreal next weekend for the PTQ, and I need company.”

Denver has won the tournament in the second round.

How? By buying a pack and pulling a foil Gideon Jura. The crowd is in awe.

My third round opponent is Alex, the other ten-year-old. As usual, my deck curves out perfectly, gives me Summoning Trap, All is Dust, Eldrazi fatties etc. I never mulligan and get lots of Explore and Rampant Growths. I think I will rename this deck “Ten-year-old crusher.”

I watch the match between Sea Bass (short for Sebastian he tells me) and Wesley. Sea Bass is playing Beastmaster Ascension with Bloodbraid Elf, Siege-Gang Commander, and Nest Invader. Wesley plays out a Lodestone Golem, and even though I have seen it before I think “That is a Juggernaut that screws my opponent. I could replace my Pelakka Wurms with those and have a lower casting cost threat, something that survives All is Dust and screws my opponent. Why did I not realize that earlier? Keep everything Green low casting cost, everything big colorless.” And then I realize I am a dork, and All is Dust and Eldrazi fatties are not actually artifacts…

Why are you so bad, Wakefield?

I don’t know!

Sea Bass takes it in the third, with some huge fatties swinging really early and fast.

This is ten pages now and the Beautiful Wendy is wondering when I will be done, in the sense that it is Saturday and we need to go do a whole bunch of stuff and I have been writing for two hours. So, the conclusion to FNM, evolution of the deck, discussion with Sea Bass about “why not just Overrun,” the other cool people I met, and hopefully reports of casual Magic night Monday (which I hope to attend) will continue next week.

But I have found a new cast. EVERYONE I met at FNM was cool, socially adept, some tournament level experience, and with welcoming natures. Awesome. It might be an hour’s drive away, but I have not felt such a sense of community since Comics and Collectibles.

Jamie Wakefield
www.JamieWakefield.com