The Can't Get Angry All-Stars And Additions

Commander is the format of big bombs and swingy plays. There are powerful cards which do powerful things. As I’ve pointed out in a series of articles over
the years (first,second,third, and fourth), there are some of them that you simply can’t get angry about
when someone blows them up. You should just shrug, say “fair,” and move on, since you know you were about to do broken things with them. Today, we’re going
to take a somewhat lighthearted look at the cream of that particular crop, cards which you should actually thank your opponents for getting rid of, since
what they’ve done is kept you from being that guy. Then we’ll talk about some cards which have come out since the last list was produced, back in
April 2013, or whose stock has risen, so to speak. Here’s the compilation of the previous lists:

The “Best” of the “Best”

These are my selections, a lucky fifteen if you will, from that list of 114 cards (you math people will note that 114-15 is 99, although I’m not really
sure what that means), which are the ones you should just admit you were up to no good with. When someone gets rid of them with targeted removal, simply
move them to the graveyard or exile zone and continue on. I’ll note that none of these cards are currently under consideration for banning.

Cabal Coffers: Everyone loves big piles of mana. I don’t mind cards like Mana Flare, since you’re being nice and sharing. Keeping it all to yourself seems
downright unfriendly.

Consecrated Sphinx: Once one of the most talked about cards in the format, I see it now occasionally get mentioned, but for the most part its heyday seems
to have passed. Its advantage can be significant, but manageable for the other players-until, of course, someone inevitably copies it and then things get
out of hand quickly. If you’d like to draw cards for no mana in a more under the radar fashion, try Arcanis the Omnipotent instead.

Grand Arbiter Augustin IV: Speaking of greedy, GAAIV having either ability would probably be fine. Slowing down everyone else while speeding up yourself
seems un-neighborly.

Greater Good: Should be called greatest good (or by its Italian name, Bene Supremo). It does three things that you want done: drawing piles of cards,
having a sacrifice outlet in case someone wants to do bad things to your creatures, and putting creatures in the graveyard to reanimate later. It’s the
linchpin of all that I love to do in this format, and there’s no argument to be had against making it go away.

Humility: Creatures are the heart of Commander. Please don’t take away our creatures. Sure, you can kill them. We can reanimate them later or reshuffle
them into the library-but this makes them useless. Humility is one of those cards that you can expect will get you orc-piled in short order.

Iona, Shield of Emeria: This card comes up every now and again in our Rules Committee discussions. Many people have floated the idea that this goes onto
the banned list and Painter’s Servant comes off. Ugin, the Spirit Dragon is the end of that particular discussion.

Jin-Gitaxias, Core Augur: I might not blame you for trying to strip away everyone’s hands (okay, I’m going to blame you a little), but whining about it
when you don’t get to is another story. I once played with someone whose whole deck just revolved around getting Jin-Gitaxias and reanimating it. It was a
pretty miserable experience.

Mana Reflection and Mirari’s Wake: What did we say earlier? Mana doubling without sharing is rude.

Mindslaver: Taking someone else’s turn and screwing them over in creative ways is that joke that gets less funny each time it’s told. Yes, there have
occasionally been completely epic Mindslaver turns. They’re the exception. One Mindslaver is fine, but the people that tend to play it are the same ones
that can’t resist doing it over and over.

Necropotence: Of all the cards we’ll talk about here, this is the closest card to being on the banned list, since it’s pretty close to Yawgmoth’s Bargain.
The minor factor in keeping it off the list is the discard clause. You can’t over-draw, discard, then have all that available to plop the big Living Death
off of next turn (although the presence of Rise of the Dark Realms is making some people rethink their own reanimation strategies) or whatever other
graveyard tomfoolery you have up your sleeve. The obvious and major factor is simply that you don’t get the cards right away.

Omniscience: “I’ll use this responsibly,” said no one ever who was telling the truth. Why then, I can hear you ask, is it not banned? Because it’s an
enchantment that costs ten mana. About the only way to cheat it into play is with Academy Rector, and even then, it’s only circumstantially dangerous. It’s
not the kind of card we see causing problems in the format.

Survival of the Fittest: In recent times, I’ve seen Survival used reasonably fairly. There’s this great balance of the Survival player getting value out of
it without brokenness in hopes of continuing to get incremental advantage. “See, I just pitched Big Game Hunter to get rid of that Consecrated Sphinx. All
I searched for was Indrik Stomphowler. You know, so I can blow up that Mirari’s Wake.” Still, when it gets got, there is no complaining, since it’s a very
inexpensive, high-quality engine.

Vicious Shadows: The better red gets (and it’s definitely getting better), the more dangerous this card becomes. When there are cards like Prossh,
Skyraider of Kher flying around, the V-Shad damage will pile up very quickly. Of course, it’s also nice protection against other people creating mountains
of creatures-when they eventually get wiped away, you can punish them for creating a hostile environment. Either way, Vicious Shadows has the potential of
dealing orders of magnitude more damage than its casting cost (which isn’t cheap) suggests, so don’t get too salty when somebody nukes it.

Vorinclex, Voice of Hunger: It’s like Mana Reflection and Mirari’s Wake on steroids. It doubles your lands’ mana production while effectively halving
everyone else’s. I also think there should be a rule that the person who bites the bullet and does something to take care of the on-board Vorinclex earns
some kind of immunity for a turn or so. Seems only sporting.

The New Additions

Like the older cards, I’m not advocating any of these cards actually get banned. They’re powerful weapons in your arsenal. You just can’t get dyspeptic
when someone deals with them. If someone spite-nukes your Fellwar Stone, feel free to rage. These cards? You were going to abuse them.

Butcher of Malakir, Dictate of Erebos, and Grave Pact: I actually sometimes have fun trying to play around the Grave Pact effect, but for the most part,
since I love my creatures, these have to go. One Butcher of Malakir and one Clone, the board is empty, and there are so many triggers that you’ll be
clicking until Doomsday.

Gaddock Teeg: When you shut people out of playing the game, expect to draw some ire. The card doesn’t generally bother me all that much, since my decks are
somewhat creature heavy. That makes the card doubly good for me when someone plays it-it slows down other folks and makes the caster into the focus of the
hate. I don’t see much of it locally, but I definitely read about it.

Martyr’s Bond: Just because this card was designed by fellow RC member Scott Larabee doesn’t mean you should cut it any slack. In fact, it means you should
probably cut it less. I didn’t want to lump it in with Grave Pact and friends although it’s basically the same effect, because it does so much more.
Imagine how stupid it would be if it didn’t say nonland.

Narset, Enlightened Master: Although I haven’t seen it played locally, I’ve read a great deal of byplay about Narset and some thoughts that it should be
banned. Banning seems like a bit much, but killing it on sight sounds like a measured response. Especially if you’re using it to take extra turns, you have
no room to complain when Narset gets domed.

Nekusar, the Mindrazer: You have even less to complain about when this gets destroyed since it’s probably your commander and you can just cast it again.
You keep telling me that you’re my friend because you help me draw extra cards, but then it hurts. Friends don’t hurt friends like that.

Prophet of Kruphix: It’s the card which has generated the most chatter over the last year or so. Yes, it’s strong. Yes, it has the potential to fuel some
insanity. Those aren’t banning criteria, those are reasons to play it, because they’re reasons that we love the format. I think the point here is that it
isn’t the insanity itself, it’s just the enabler. It’s an absurdly good enabler, but that’s not a sin. There has to be a best card in the format (although
I’m not necessarily arguing that this is it), right?

Purphoros, God Of The Forge: It’s a great deal harder to get rid of than other stuff because it’s indestructible. In the world of gods, you need exile and
sacrifice things. Purphoros is very strong because it hits all opponents. Red already being a pretty good token generator, and Purphoros being pretty easy
to splash into decks that can make mana and creatures, makes it dangerous. You can’t get around it with True Believer since it’s not targeted. Your choices
come down to having an extremely high life total, killing the player with Purphoros, or making use of Silverchase Fox (and friends). As a side question,
does anyone ever actually use the activated ability?

Wound Reflection: This is obviously not a new card, and I’m not quite sure how it escaped notice before. It’s effectively a damage doubler, but unlike
Furnace of Rath, which you can mitigate some with creatures, there’s not much you can do about it other than get rid of it before the end of turn. When you
resolve Wound Reflection, everyone is going to wonder if Magister Sphinx or Sorin Markov isn’t far behind. Thank the person who blows up your Wound
Reflection; they’ve kept you from becoming the target.

This list isn’t meant to be exhaustive, and you’ll notice they’re all permanents. I suppose eventually I should do the “Can’t Get Angry When Someone
Counters Them” sub-list. There are many great cards in Magic and many different schools of thought on what’s a threat. There are any number of cards which
situationally must be answered right away (if you’re at one life, the lowliest unblocked 1/1 is the most important thing for you). The Can’t Get Mad list
is full of things that you should probably consider dealing with right here, right now if you’re facing them. If you’re using them, expect to take your
lumps.

This week’s Deck without Comment is Lavinia Blinks:

Lavinia Blinks

Sheldon Menery

0th Place at Test deck on 06-09-2013

Commander

Creatures (33)

Planeswalkers (2)

Lands (38)

Here is the latest database version of all my decks:

ADUN’S TOOLBOX
; ANIMAR’S SWARM;AURELIA GOES TO WAR;CHILDREN of a LESSER GOD;DEMONS OF KAALIA;EREBOS and the HALLS OF THE DEAD;GLISSA, GLISSA;HELIOD, GOD OF ENCHANTMENTS;DREAMING OF INTET;FORGE OF PURPHOROS;KARN, BEATDOWN GOLEM;HALLOWEEN WITH KARADOR;KARRTHUS, WHO RAINS FIRE FROM THE SKY;KRESH INTO THE RED ZONE;LAVINIA BLINKS;LAZAV, SHAPESHIFTING MASTERMIND;ZOMBIES OF TRESSERHORN;MELEK’S MOLTEN MIND GRIND;MERIEKE’S ESPER CONTROL;THE MILL-MEOPLASM;NATH of the VALUE LEAF;NYLEA OF THE WOODLAND REALM,OBZEDAT, GHOST KILLER;PURPLE HIPPOS and MARO SORCERERS;ZEGANA and a DICE BAG;RAKDOS: LIFE IS SHORT;RITH’S TOKENS;YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF;RURIC THAR AND HIS BEASTLY FIGHT CLUB;THASSA, GOD OF MERFOLK;THE ALTAR of THRAXIMUNDAR; TROSTANI and HER ANGELS

If you’d like to follow the adventures of my Monday Night RPG group (in a campaign that’s been alive since 1987 and is just now getting started with a new
saga called “The Lost Cities of Nevinor”), ask for an invitation to the Facebook group ” Sheldon Menery’s Monday Night Gamers.”

The Can’t Get Angry All-Stars And Additions

The “Best” of the “Best”

The New Additions

Creatures (33)

Planeswalkers (2)

Lands (38)

Spells (26)