Hey guys, it’s me again. Still remember who I am? It’s ok if you don’t; it’s been a while since I’ve written. If you’ve forgotten who I am, the title is a pretty apt description. Or at least, it was for GP Boston (aka GP Woostah). For those that don’t know, that tournament took place this past. The format? M13 Sealed. So how was I the biggest idiot in the room? Did I make a play mistake that cost me Day 2? Did I misregister my pool and get a game loss? Or maybe I showed up late and got a game loss during one of my rounds? Well, truthfully, none of the above happened to me. Although they would have been better than what actually happened.
I misbuilt my deck in what was probably the most obscenely misbuilt deck of all time. I’m not talking about one or two cards being wrong. I’m talking about playing 35 cards that were wrong.
Yeah, it was bad. It was so bad that I don’t think misbuilt is even the correct term. Butchered or maimed would be a much better term to describe what I did with my pool. Hell, it was so bad I showed my friends what I registered compared to my pool and they all laughed at me. I showed one friend, and he passed it around for others to laugh at. I would ask for it back, and they would keep passing it around instead. It was like the bully was holding my lunch just out of reach while laughing at me. Even my opponents, after handily winning game 1, were shocked at how soundly they were beaten games 2 and 3, and they asked me “What happened to that other deck?” I was not having fun getting what was essentially a game loss every round.
After all that hype, here’s what I registered
Creatures (11)
- 1 Wind Drake
- 1 Fog Bank
- 1 Guardians of Akrasa
- 1 Kraken Hatchling
- 1 Welkin Tern
- 1 Archaeomancer
- 1 Ajani's Sunstriker
- 1 Faerie Invaders
- 1 Jace's Phantasm
- 1 Watercourser
- 1 Chronomaton
Lands (17)
Spells (11)
So that was the magnificent deck I had to play with every round for game 1. To answer your question, no, I have literally no idea what I was thinking when I registered this as my deck. Not a clue. I could make excuses about how I was tired, sleep deprived, and even inexperienced in the format, but honestly, this deck has no excuse. At least not compared to the proper build of my sealed pool.
Creatures (13)
- 1 Silklash Spider
- 2 Canyon Minotaur
- 1 Centaur Courser
- 1 Vastwood Gorger
- 1 Goblin Arsonist
- 1 Garruk's Packleader
- 1 Torch Fiend
- 1 Sentinel Spider
- 1 Rummaging Goblin
- 1 Flinthoof Boar
- 1 Chronomaton
- 1 Timberpack Wolf
Lands (17)
Spells (10)
Now this is a Sealed deck. It’s got removal, it’s got dudes, and it’s got a bomb or two. This is definitely the deck I should have registered. Hell, it was the deck I ended up siding into every round. I’d give you a tournament report, but all my rounds basically went like this. Game 1, I got crushed. I stood a chance stand a chance in game 2 and would win nine out of ten times. By game 3, my opponent realized what was going on, and I would lose in a close game. Had I built my deck correctly, I feel like I could have definitely made Day 2.
As far as the non-Sealed portion of my weekend went, it was a blast seeing everyone that I only get to see once every few months. It was also pretty amazing meeting new people and getting recognized by my “Swasey Shuffle” deckbox. It’s always a pleasure when someone says they enjoy my articles; it means a lot to me.
From Thursday to Sunday I had Jonathan Sukenik staying with me. A big draw of this GP other than it being local to me was that I was able to see all my friends and find out what’s been happening in their lives for the last few months. In the case of Jonathan, we caught up and basically watched movies and drafted whenever we had a spare moment.
It turns out that if you force green and pick all the Timberpack Wolf, you’ll almost always make the finals of your draft. And by almost always I mean 100% of the time. Our record was a playset of Wolves. Let’s just say that I’ll be forcing green whenever I can, keeping a watch for Timberpack Wolf especially. Also, the next time you’re building a Sealed deck, try not to be the biggest idiot in the room like I was.
Props
- The Magic community: You guys really made this weekend something special.
- rk post: my favorite Magic artist that just happened to be at the GP.
- Jonathan Sukenik: You certainly made the weekend far more enjoyable.
Slops
- Massachusetts: Holy moly, that’s a lot of toll roads.
- Worcester: You’re certainly no Boston.
- My brain: I squandered a perfectly reasonable Day 2 opportunity by building the worst Sealed deck ever known to mankind.
krazykirby AT gmail DOT com
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