How To Get Ripped Off On Magic Online: A Few Case Studies

Thieves have always been the scum of the earth, but with online gaming they’ve really hit the jackpot – and a new low. Never before has it been possible for some toenail clipping of a human being to take away so much from another human being, with so little effort. Thousands of hours. Thousands of dollars. Thousands of precious little things taken and laundered, scattered across the internet and into the eager hands of unknowing buyers, never to be seen again. And if you want to avoid that fate, gentle reader, perhaps you best click on the link above.

I have something to talk about today – but I’m afraid you might not understand. Don’t get me wrong: I believe you, gentle reader, are a sublimely eclectic and intelligent person. Still, as I sit here bookended by a bottle of Coke and a friend playing FFX on my weathered Zenith television, the question on my tongue is not what to write, but how to write it. How to make you understand. Swathed in day-old clothes and wearing a mask cobbled together out of stubble and grumpiness, I ask myself:”How can I say this with authority, and still get the right message across to people who might not share the level of gaming immersion that I do?

I think I’ll just give you some credit. I believe you’ll understand, if I do my job. The reason for my apprehension? Well, despite my continuing existence in a world I know to be rife with suicide bombers, suburban tragedies, social inequalities and a thousand other evils, I’m about to set aside those persistent troubles to talk about how much a simple game can hurt.

I know what you’re going to say:

“My girlfriend left me, my dog just died, I have brittle bones and kidney stones, my father was a drunk, and my sister has webbed feet. I got teased every day at school, I’m underpaid at work, and the Jews and Arabs are on the brink. Korea has more bombs than Urza Block, the hole in the ozone layer is growing, my water isn’t as potable as it was twenty years ago. I’m getting old, I’m gaining weight, I’m losing my hair. There are demotions and diatribes and disintegrating relationships crashing down in every direction. I’m dodging bullets both social and ecological, living amidst crises both personal and national in scale… And you say a game can hurt?

Geordie Tait, you don’t know what hurt is.”

There isn’t much that I can do about that attitude – except maybe to advise you that maybe you should consider a career as a country singer. I can also tell you that it’s for those reasons – especially those reasons – that people latch on so vigorously to their hobbies. These things, they’re a beacon of light in a world with plenty of bad news to go around, salvation in a fickle cube with sides numbered one to six. Recreation keeps you sane, see – it keeps you going.

That’s why games can hurt. If the”hard” parts of life can be likened to a heavy burden, then every card I deal, every draft I run, is a support column that lightens that load.

With that said, let’s switch gears and get down to what I’m really trying to talk about.

I’ve played a lot of online games in my day. These games, called”massively multiplayer online roleplaying games” or MMORGs, are a lot like life except you don’t have to physically move, and sometimes you get to slay things. Aside from those important differences, most aspects of online existence mirror those of physical, three-dimensional, non-digital day to day drudgery. People are always striving to get ahead. Everyone wants to be the best. And, of course, everyone wants something for nothing.

You can probably ascertain, then, that just as the flesh-and-bone human race is sprinkled liberally with bad apples (like a turnover recipe gone horribly wrong), so too is the online world. There are thieves. There are liars. There are scammers – and not of the noble and harmless type, though that is sometimes the case. Time was, a trickster could spend all day gluing money to the sidewalk and laughing at the clods trying unsuccessfully to claim it, and go home happy. Not anymore! No, this is the nasty new millennium, where miscreants aim to liberate everything you own without so much as a”thank you.”

Ever get your wallet lifted? Purse snatched? Lunch money pilfered by a guy with no neck? Not much fun, is it? And is a so-called”recreational” possession any less painful to lose than a more traditional tool for modern day living? I say”no.” Truth be told, it still hurts like hell.

Say John Smith from down the street has his car stolen – a machine he’s been working with for years. He gets angry, and he is sad that someone would do such a thing. Well, if I have my Magic collection stolen, the product of years of collecting and likewise worth tens of thousands of dollars, I’m going to be sadder than the proverbial”sad Japanese man.” (For those who don’t know, that’s pretty damn sad.)

To go a step further, if the possession happens to be not just recreational in nature but also digital, is anything different? It’s still the product of blood, sweat, and tears. In other words, effort. In this way, Magic Online cards, accounts, and collections are precious things. Somewhere over a hill, across a border, and through a wood, there’s a server with something that belongs to me, and I can never really touch it – but that doesn’t bother me. Everyone else is in the same boat. Maybe I can’t touch it, gentle reader, but I know I earned it. I know I made it, built it with my time and money, as surely as if I’d gone down to a physical store and bought the packs with crisp twenties straight off the paycheck.

Luke Skywalker once said that”Lifting rocks is one thing…this is completely different.” And then the voice of Frank Oz piped up to tell him that it was only different in his mind. I ask you now: Do you think that losing a tool for survival hurts any more than losing a treasured recreational item? No. No different. Only different in your mind. Critical tools are just tools for the job. Cards, dice, decklists, digital or not – they’re tools for the soul.

Supplemental Quick Interview: (Cory Braiterman, a.k.a. KrmtDFrog, a.k.a. Lackey)

What follows is an interview with an experienced online trader and Magic player: Cory Braiterman. Cory, better known to some as”KrmtDFrog” of #mtgwacky (and other IRC channels), has completed hundreds, if not thousands of card transactions using pretty much every possible medium, both physical and digital, and also serves as president of E-League, the venerable online Magic league for users of Apprentice.

GT:”First of all, can I get you to state your name and your MODO nick?”

CB:”My name is Cory Braiterman. My MODO nick is ‘Lackey’.”

GT:”Now, with Apprentice and MODO, you’ve got a lot of experience with online Magic…”

CB:”I’d be willing to bet that I’ve played more online Magic than 99% of the Magic-playing world.”

GT:”A little background for the readers – you’ve done some pretty infamous MODO trades. Could you provide a link to the screenshots for the people reading?

CB:”By all means.”













GT:”Heh. Now, some people might see trades like that as unethical – but really, you can’t claim that the person you were trading with wasn’t satisfied. After all, they agreed to it, right?”

CB:”Well, here’s the funny thing – in all of those trades, I just say ‘I’m pulling cards I’m interested in overall’, and then ‘make me an offer’. I have not once suggested to a person that such and such is worth this or that. If they ask me a price, I quote a fair price. If I don’t know, I say ‘no idea’.

GT:”And if they end up underpaying, it’s screenshot time.”

CB:”Basically yes – like, trade.jpg, for example. He goes, ‘Let me get out my price guide.’ And I say to myself: ‘YAAAAAUUUUUUUUSSS!”

GT:”Because real life price guides are so skewed compared to actual MODO values, right?”

CB:”Indeed. I say ‘What do you value these cards at [in tickets]’, he says ‘Arcanis 7, Quicksilver Dragon 8, Millstone 5.’ I’m like, ‘Excuse me while I go run a few victory laps’.”

GT: *laughs*”Just to give my readers an idea of how off that is, what are the current ticket values for those cards on MODO?”

CB:”One, one, and maybe two. To put that trade into perspective dollar-wise, I gave up about $10-12 worth of cards, and got $50 in return. Some of the other profit margins are even more insane.”

GT:”Congratulations!” (Don’t try this at home, kids.) :And it’s important to note that you never quote a false price, or lie about a trade being even when it isn’t. Right?”

CB:”Correct. You can look at any chat window there – heck, in one of them I even offer to throw in more stuff!”

GT:”Now, moving on to more sinister topics… MODO scammers. What sort of scams are floating around MODO these days, and how do you protect yourself from them?”

CB:”Well, there are a few notable scams. For example, ‘buy my collection’ [via Paypal]. Look for people who aren’t verified, or have a verification of one, or something really low.”

GT:”Before we get into this example, let’s talk a bit about Paypal for those who might not be familiar with it. It’s growing in popularity as a tool for online exchanges, correct?”

CB:”Yeah – it’s the most popular and easiest way to send money. ‘Verified’ means you have an identity of some sort with PayPal. Of course, some people will set up a dummy account and make one exchange with their main account so the dummy has positive verification.”

GT:”So basically, a verification of one should set off alarms for traders and sellers?”

CB:”Zero or one, yes. Ideally, you want to deal with accounts with high verification. Twenty-plus. Mine is like seventy-five. It shows you are established and have invested enough time. It shows you aren’t a scammer.

GT:”Are there any other scams worth noting?”

CB:”There are a couple of doozies. For example, you get someone who wants to buy tickets [via PayPal] – this is best done via email or whatever – and after they send the money to [email protected], you tell them to see a MODO username. Except the username isn’t [email protected]; it’s just a poor slob who has nothing to do with it. You just sent money to some random guy.”

GT:”So you’re stuck trying to get tickets from some guy who has no idea what you are talking about.”


GT:”How do you prevent this?”

CB:”Don’t buy tickets from random people… Especially if the deal seems too good to be true. Tickets are valued at 85-90 cents. If someone wants to sell them cheaper, it’s probably a scam. Buy your tickets online – you’ll pay about 93 cents on the dollar, but you have some protection and know who you are getting them from.

GT:”Fair enough. Good advice for the people reading. Any other notable scams?”

CB:”Well, there used to be a trade scam before they made a confirmation window – people would offer a Birds of Paradise and thirty-one commons, and then right before hitting confirm, they’d yank the Birds and end up trading thirty-one commons for your mid-range rare. Now, with the second confirmation window, it’s nearly impossible, since you can see what you’re getting. Unless you’re incredibly dumb and don’t look that last time, this shouldn’t happen to you.”

GT:”Have you ever had anyone steal your account password?”

CB:”I don’t think so.”

GT:”Has it ever happened to anyone that you know?”

CB:”You’d have to be really dumb to have someone do that. Maybe someone’s tried it – whether or not it has worked I have no idea.”

GT:”Do you share your account with anyone?”

CB:”Me personally? No. I’ve had friends give me passwords to finish matches, and I know a bunch of people who do share accounts. I do share a locker at Neutral Ground with someone.”

GT:”Now, I’d never scam anyone. I assume you never would either.”

CB:”I charge reasonable shipping rates, and I don’t sell cards with no intention of shipping them.”

GT:”What sort of mindset do you think you need to actually rip attempt to screw someone over and take their hard-earned money?”

CB:”I don’t think you go into the place with the mindset of being a crook. I think a lot of ripoffs happen because the guy says, ‘F*** it, I’m too lazy to ship off my product’.”

GT:”That’s pretty sad.”

CB:”I’m not gonna lie – I’ve done it once or twice over the years.”


CB:”It’s like, I’m at college, it’s half a mile to the nearest post office, I have no envelopes… Screw it, I’m keeping his five bucks. You get lazy and rationalize it. You take the hit, the auction site yells at you, and if applicable you can have your account suspended.”

GT:”But obviously, some people can rationalize a lot more than $5.”

CB:”Well yeah – I’ve never done that on a large deal. On small things, people don’t care or pay as much attention, because it’s nickel and dime stuff. It’s happened to me before from the other end – and is it worth my time to complain about my $5, or should I just say ‘f*** it’ and get on with life?”

GT:”I understand – but I find that a little surprising, coming from a veteran trader.”

CB:”We’re human. I’ve also got a fairly large lazy streak. I’m an expert procrastinator, so I’ve cost people a few aggravation points and $5 here and there. Sorry, all – at least you can know that it’s happened to me, too. FedEx randomly lost an uncut Arena sheet I paid $200 for. I never saw the money or the sheet. Just now, I just Paypalled someone for a box, and the user got their account suspended. Something tells me that’s sixty bucks down the drain. And I got ripped on that first MODO scam I told you about, for $80. So I’ve lost far more than I’ve ever cost people. But no, I’d never do it on a large trade – deep down, I’m a nice guy, I have a very large part of me that wants fairness.”

GT:”I see.”

CB:”I’ve got a regular job now, so losing $80 sucks, but it’s not going to be the difference between paying rent and being out in the street. To a lot of other people, mostly college or high school students, that may be all the money they see in a month.

GT:”Have you ever had to deal with Adepts or MODO Customer Service with regards to trading scams and so on?”

CB:”Adepts won’t get involved unless someone has violated the contract somehow.”

GT:”If you could say something to all the scammers of the internet world, what would it be?”

CB:”Die. You’re the morons who make my life harder. Scammers, I hope you get cancer, spend thousands on chemotherapy, lose all of your hair, and become a social outcast. Then have the cancer go into remission for a year. After it’s remission, spend additional thousands of dollars on more chemotherapy. Finally, after your final chemo session, I hope to see the cancer has been completely removed from your system – but when you step outside the clinic, I hope you get hit by a goddamn bus. In other words: Please die.

GT:”Thanks for taking the time to do this interview.”

CB:”No problem.”

We’ve established that virtual, recreational items have great value, enough value to make a man laugh and to make a man cry. (I’d say”woman,” but let’s not kid ourselves – you can write the name of every female MODO player on your pinky finger, and still have room for a full transcript of the last State of the Union address)

It follows, then, that it is inexcusable to simply steal them. Unfortunately for fair-minded folk, there are those out there that find it easy to ignore this and attempt the stealing anyhow.

Thieves have always been the scum of the earth, but with online gaming they’ve really hit the jackpot – and a new low. Never before has it been possible for some toenail clipping of a human being to take away so much from another human being, with so little effort. Thousands of hours. Thousands of dollars. Thousands of precious little things. Taken and laundered, scattered across the internet and into the eager hands of buyers, all unknowing, and never to be seen again.

A scammer can do all of this by getting their grubby mittens on a password, by hook or by crook. They don’t need a crowbar or even a ski mask; these dregs need not arrange for pneumatic drills to take out the floor of a museum, nor obtain armaments enough to take down a Brinks truck. They just need a random word – a set of characters that very often isn’t random at all. Heck, a man could stumble onto one of these passwords almost by accident. Maybe someone shares an account and pasted the password into the wrong channel. Maybe someone trusts someone else a little too much. Whatever the circumstances, P.T. Barnum said that there is a sucker born every minute (it was not, in fact, W.C. Fields) and a scammer will have no qualms about taking this particular sucker for a ride down a very sad and costly road.


Scammers and thieves are the lowest of the low, but the online versions are especially cowardly. A MODO account thief can strip your account down to nothing and then message you and laugh from across an uncrossable digital gap. Literally the worst thing that MODO adepts can do to such a person is to mute him or her. I am not kidding. You will never get a chance to see the thieving bastard that took your two hundred rares. At least carjackers have the courtesy to stick a gun in your face and get up close and personal. Not these guys.

You’re at home, powerless. They’re in Nowhere, U.S.A.

“I’ve got a regular job now, so losing $80 sucks, but it’s not going to be the difference between paying rent and being out in the street. To a lot of other people, mostly college or high school students, that may be all the money they see in a month.”

Truer words were never spoken, unless you count”Don’t get involved in a land war in Asia.” The above statement is true, and the absolute truth it contains is enough to keep me on the straight and narrow path forever. I’ll never hack an account and take what isn’t mine. For those with less scruples and more time, if you find a reliable account infiltration method that works, the Holy Grail of MMOG theft, then it’s like a license to print money. After all, EverQuest accounts sell for thousands of dollars online. Diablo II items and MODO cards are flying off the virtual shelves, and the PayPal barons are growing fat and happy.

Even so, I can’t imagine myself taking what isn’t mine from someone who might not have much else. How can you steal from someone if you don’t know (or care) what effect that theft will have? I bet such oblivious theft makes it easier on these scammers, whoever they are, wherever they are. They don’t know you and they don’t want to know. All they want is a lot of two things:

a) Free stuff

b) Impunity from prosecution

With electronic property as valuable as it is, and electronic property laws as nonexistent as they are, well… There’s plenty of both a) and b) to go around.

Even my beloved Triple J’s are not immune to this sort of chicanery. Recently, a good Canadian boy from the prairies, Chris Parton (a.k.a. Dr. Btings) had his account looted by some bastard who overheard his password when it was pasted into the chat window of a money draft. Chris didn’t change the password immediately because he assumed everyone in the draft to be trustworthy.

Unfortunately, when the only ID you have to show is a screen name, all sorts of sinister games can be afoot. Turns out one of the participants (using the ultra-hip login name mknofx) was a random kid playing on his friend’s account, and one thing led to another, and boom! Chris Parton, good Canadian boy from the prairies, snappy dresser, money drafter and all-around 3-0 guy, gets a harsh lesson in password security.

I’ll tell you straight-up, by the way, that I don’t want to hear a lot of bitching in the forums from people who believe there would be no theft if everyone kept their possessions under constant lock and key. I do not want to live in a world where when I hit Denny’s for the Grand Slam Breakfast, I have to ask the waitress for the key to the sugar.

This sort of thing doesn’t happen often, but it will happen from time to time, usually because good-natured people don’t expect their so-called peers to stoop so low as to rip them off. You might be interested to know that while MODO can’t reimburse you for losses incurred due to this unfortunate combination of carelessness and bad luck, you can get information on exactly who it was that put the screws to you. With Chris’ permission, I’m going to reproduce parts of his correspondence with Wizards customer service.

Supplemental Info: The Tale of Dr. Btings

Here is the original message sent by Chris to Wizards. Any emphasis is mine.

From: Chris Parton [mailto:********@hotmail.com]

Sent: Thursday, August 14, 2003 12:52 AM

To: Magic Conduct

Subject: stolen account

Hello, my account was recently broken into and I had all my items of value stolen. Seventy tickets, one draft set, approximately a hundred and ten rares, and one thousand uncommons. Commons are undetermined.

I have not given out my password to anybody, but I strongly believe I know who stole my account items. Magic Online name”mknofx” may have tried to relate my password at the time to my mirc name or Magic lingo, and somehow he got in. I know someone was on my account because my password was changed – and when I was at my friend’s house playing Magic Online, my account popped up and was asking to borrow cards and tickets from everyone.

I have heard rumors and stories from clanmates that Wizards is able to track down one accounts trade records; I would be very interested in that service. The account was looted at approximately 10-11 p.m. on Thursday, August 7th (Saskatchewan time), and the person would had to have made multiple trades fairly quickly to an account during that time.

Even if I do not receive some kind of refund, I would appreciate knowing who actually would do this to me.

My Login Name: Dr.Btings

My name: Chris Parton

E-mail address: *********@hotmail.com

I do not know the trade number because I wasn’t logged on to my account.

The event occurred in-between 10-11pm, August 7th 2003.

I would appreciate all the help and information your company could give me to have another chance of playing Magic Online again. Thank you for your time.


Here is the (abridged) response from Wizards, and you’ll notice that the thief is caught red-handed:

From:”Magic Conduct”

To:”Chris Parton”

Subject: RE: stolen account

Date: Thu, 14 Aug 2003 12:21:47 -0700

Hello Chris,

I am sorry this happened to you. It looks like someone has access to your email account, as the password was changed and sent to the account email several times during the time period in question. I recommend you change your password immediately and scan your computer for Trojans or Spyware. I am sorry we cannot offer a refund or reverse these trades, as account security is the owner’s responsibility, but I did include the trade history on the account from 8/7 on.

I hope that helps. Good luck.

Paul Quinn

Magic Online Community Manager

Trade record from 8/7

5254561 8/7/2003 20:25 Dr.Btings the_soulfly 1 / 1

5254835 8/7/2003 20:41 Dr.Btings Intellectx 10 / 3

5255309 8/7/2003 21:10 CardzNStuff Dr.Btings 0 / 5

5255564 8/7/2003 21:24 CardzNStuff Dr.Btings 5 / 0

5255605 8/7/2003 21:35 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255606 8/7/2003 21:36 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255608 8/7/2003 21:36 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255611 8/7/2003 21:37 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255615 8/7/2003 21:38 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255618 8/7/2003 21:39 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255622 8/7/2003 21:39 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255631 8/7/2003 21:40 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255633 8/7/2003 21:41 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255636 8/7/2003 21:41 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255652 8/7/2003 21:43 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255658 8/7/2003 21:44 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255666 8/7/2003 21:45 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255673 8/7/2003 21:45 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255681 8/7/2003 21:46 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255690 8/7/2003 21:46 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255701 8/7/2003 21:47 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255708 8/7/2003 21:47 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255714 8/7/2003 21:48 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255720 8/7/2003 21:48 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255727 8/7/2003 21:49 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255731 8/7/2003 21:49 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255738 8/7/2003 21:50 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255742 8/7/2003 21:50 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255751 8/7/2003 21:50 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255759 8/7/2003 21:51 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255761 8/7/2003 21:51 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255769 8/7/2003 21:52 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255774 8/7/2003 21:52 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255784 8/7/2003 21:53 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255791 8/7/2003 21:53 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255800 8/7/2003 21:54 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255807 8/7/2003 22:03 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255813 8/7/2003 22:04 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255821 8/7/2003 22:05 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255833 8/7/2003 22:06 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 32

5255842 8/7/2003 22:08 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 31

5255899 8/7/2003 22:13 wannago478693 Dr.Btings 1 / 32

5255917 8/7/2003 22:15 wannago478693 Dr.Btings 1 / 32

5255925 8/7/2003 22:16 wannago478693 Dr.Btings 1 / 32

5255951 8/7/2003 22:19 Dr.Btings wannago478693 32 / 1

5255958 8/7/2003 22:19 Dr.Btings wannago478693 32 / 1

5255966 8/7/2003 22:20 misedotdec Dr.Btings 0 / 5

You can see above that during the period in question,”misedotdec” took thousands of cards off of the Dr. Btings account. Quick, Watson! The needle!

Does anyone here have the slightest idea what sort of waste of space would do something like this? He would have to have no concept of what effect these larcenous actions have on other people. Throw in cowardice, lack of morals and ethics, and a general bad attitude and I think we’ve got a pretty good character profile.

Sigh. You know, sometimes I wonder about people. I know that guys like misedotdec are the painful rectal itch of humanity, and I know that there are thousands of people out there who would not take advantage of another person in way that he did, but still. Frustrating.

So yeah, misedotdec and mknofx (or his friend, or whoever) should be strung up by their own entrails. I’m sure that Dr. Btings, who once ran the 3-0 ship with yours truly at Canadian Nats (I kept it tight with an 0-3) has learned his lesson. All this story needs now is a happy ending.

You readers can provide that happy ending by taking this whole scenario to heart and not letting it happen to you. If you wheel and deal online, or if you plan to start, make sure you don’t set yourself up for the fall. Take the precautions that Kermit recommends – it’s not easy being green. Guard your password. If you share an account with a friend on occasion, as Dr. Btings did, change your password right away if it slips out, even if you think the only people that heard it are trustworthy.

The money you save could be your own. And more than money – you could save yourself a lot of hurt. The world at large will always find it hard relate to the pain you might feel over the loss of some digital information on a server tucked in an air-conditioned room somewhere – but I understand it. All too well. My cards get rid of stress. They make the world an easier place to bear. They’re my hobbies. My games. The results of my most intimate efforts. If these things get taken, yeah, I hurt.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a trip to take, and a visit to pay. There’s man I need to find – he’s got something that belongs to a good friend of mine. I’m not sure if I’ll catch up to him, but if I do, there will be hell to pay. And I think I know where to start.

Nowhere, U.S.A.

Geordie Tait

[email protected]


P.S.: If you see misedotdec on MODO, tell him he’s a rat bastard. Say that Geordie sent you. And mise, if you’re reading this, it’s not too late to give Dr.Btings his cards back. Jerk.