Rizzo once mentioned in one of his articles a class of player who always dominates the local scene but can’t quite cut it on the actual Pro circuit ? such as Randy Wright. They instill fear into the hearts of locals and laughter into the minds of the top breadwinners. It kind of sucks to be a big fish in a small pond ?and as such, most of them are ashamed to share their opinions and experiences with the public.
Well no longer.
I’m Tim Aten. I live in northern Ohio, and I’m a quasi-pro. I have had a measure of success on the local scene, which has netted me a whopping five Pro Tour points over the past year. I went to New Orleans, where I made day 2, and San Diego where I… um… didn’t. I also played in the 2001 U.S. Nationals, and am currently qualified for this year’s Nationals. This column is about my misadventures as I try to actually make some money at this game that’s taken so much from me.
In order to best tell my story, however, I need to provide information about my supporting cast ? or my”squad.” These are the players that I go to nearby PTQs and other events with. They all frequent the local store, Compendium. (Compendium will often be abbreviated as SS, for ‘Secret Store,’ as it is where Jason Opalka came to get easy rating points during the heyday of Reality Recess).
Familiar Name: Rodman
Real Name: Dan Rodemann
Information: The two most important things to know about Rodman are his legendary luck and his desire for deckbuilding notoriety. Often, Rodman will show blatant disregard for statistics and play a 4-color deck in limited. Regardless of mana fixers, we can all rest assured that he will have four different types of basic land on turn 4, a phenomenon known locally as”Rodman Draw.” As for the deckbuilding, Rodman has wanted a deck named after him for as long as I can remember. His first attempt at this was”Rodman Blue,” a deck featuring evasion creatures and Sigil of Sleep. Most recently, he played a deck he called”Rodman Tog,” which was, in actuality, a 99% copy of Zevatog. He wants the credit without the effort, basically. Also of note is Rodman’s sister, Eatlin. The child simply never stops eating. One time Rodman and I went out to do something, and as we were leaving, she was busily smashing a bag of cookies. When we got back some ninety minutes later, she was smashing a bag of steak fries. Life for her is one perpetual meal; she’ll undoubtedly be making an appearance on Springer in due time.
Accomplishments: winner, PTQ-Nice; along with Nate Clarke and David McElhattan, won a PTQ for New York; top 8, 2002 Ohio Valley Regionals
Catch Phrase:”Why don’t you take a nice chomp?”
Familiar Name: Joey Bags
Real Name: Joe Gagliardi
Information: Joey Bags currently mans the register at SS. Continuing the proud tradition of Opalka, he keeps the store open until nearly daybreak several nights a week to allow an environment of nonstop drafting. He’s truly one of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. And I know a lot of people say that about a lot of other people, but in this case it’s really true. As I write, he is currently in the process of finding me a fabled mp3 called”Fathom” by Greta. He has two personalities that he’s aware of ? his normal self, and his”crowd pleasing” self. He sometimes wonders if he spends too much time in the latter phase, effectively becoming a caricature of himself. But I digress. You came here for Magic, not for a psychoanalysis of someone you’ll probably never meet.
Accomplishment: top 8, PTQ- New Orleans
Catch Phrase:”(name)…a manchild.” (originally from”Kingpin”)
Familiar Name: Hunka
Real Name: John Hunka
Information: According to Hunka, there are three phases in the career of a Magic player as concerns social status. When you are single, you game nonstop. When you are dating, Magic comes to a halt. Finally, when you get married, you no longer give a damn and game whenever you please. Hunka is fortunately approaching stage 3, meaning he frequents SS again. His skills never disappeared, but merely stayed dormant during his absence from the game, during which time he spent his days rounding. Definitely one of the most important additions to our squad, as he brings much wisdom and experience. Heh.
Accomplishments: qualifying for so many tours he skipped that he earned the name Darkwing Duck, 2nd place at 1999 U.S. Nationals, 11th place at PT; Pangaea
Catch Phrase:”Sorry about your luck.”
Familiar Name: Rand
Real Name: David W. McElhattan
Information: Initially getting his nickname from being the rand-om guy that was often needed to complete a draft, Rand has now become one of us… Sort of. Bless his heart, he’s still not particularly good. I guess my view of him has been skewed due to recent events, one of which was a simple game of Monopoly in which he simply refused to make a trade that would allow us both into the game and resulted in me buying Rodman’s miscellaneous worthless properties for every dollar I had. So he can be a bag and a loid. But like I said, he’s still one of us. Sort of.
Accomplishments: actually managed to win a PTQ thanks to being on a team with Nate and Rodman
Catch Phrase: (No one really pays attention).
Familiar Name: BillF
Real Name: Bill Fegan
Information: Before Opalka left for bigger and better things (read: moving to Vegas and gambling 24-7), he left us with his legacy in the form of BillF. Specifically, he spent his last few months preaching to everyone how good BillF was until Bill eventually started to believe it. This gave him quite an ego. He has fortunately settled down in recent months. Bill is in shape, and has something of a social life due to what are evidently good looks. I don’t know this directly, but rather from anecdotal evidence concerning Eatlin. Apparently Eatlin was hitting on poor Bill one day at Rodman’s house…. But that’s another story. Bill is known for his desire to game nonstop and a thin layer of filth that chronically covers his hands due to his work at UPS.
Accomplishments: Got his nipple pierced, I guess (Hey! – The Ferrett)
Catch Phrase:”I disagree.”
Familiar/Real Name: Jon Holt
Information: I don’t know much about Jon other than that he spends almost as much time at SS as Bags and BillF (who works there on the weekends). He used to game back in the days where younguns actually knew what a”Lotus” was, quit, and recently got back in.
Accomplishments: Kilt him a b’ar when he was only 3
Catch Phrase:”Where’s your squad?”
With that background information out of the way, it’s time to talk about Magic itself. I guess the big story of the weekend involved GP trials for Milwaukee, which Joey Bags, Rodman, and I will attend. I already have two ratings byes, but I figured that I mise well try for a third. Rodman and I made the drive to Michigan, and Joey Bags was supposed to come with us but had car difficulties.
I decided to play Green/Black Braids/Nest because it looked like fun. And it sort of was… Until I had to play the mirror. Rodman used the old standby, Zevatog, which is obviously the best deck in the format. Perhaps I should have gone to win instead of merely to play. I definitely would have played ‘Tog, in hindsight. As much as I just want to have fun playing Magic, I find it hard to do unless I am also winning. Sometimes I long for the days of multiplayer, opening packs and discovering cards I’d never heard of, and casting Force of Nature and then enchanting it with Web. But I can’t say I’m likely to ever go back.
I was all set to write a nice match-by-match report… Until I scrubbed out. That’s right; I went 0-1-1 drop in a frickin’ GP trial. And yes, I did play two of the biggest Chrises in the room. Granted, they were nice people. But my first-round opponent, who was running Blue/Green madness/threshold, really had no clue what he was doing. He just copied a netdeck and drew his Roars when he needed them. Well, God bless. And my second opponent ? wow! Not only is the mirror match exceptionally boring, not only is it solely based on who draws the most Mongers and Nests… But skill is 100% irrelevant. Some of his plays were blocking my Spiritmonster with six squirrel tokens, and saying loudly enough for me to hear,”Let’s see if you fall for this,” as he attempted to Slay my Monger when I had a forest untapped. Such was my day. After barely eking a draw out of that match due to time, I couldn’t help but laugh at my situation and sing a few lines of Fuel’s”Bad Day.”
Rodman’s day was a little better than mine. He went 4-1 in the first five rounds, a good enough record for him to draw in and end up in 8th. His first opponent in the top 8 was a miser, to say the least. His name was Chester; he was sporting a visor; and he offered Rodman an Altoid or something at the start of the match. How random.
As it would turn out, Chester sent me brooding for a few reasons. First, he was very polite to Rodman before the match. He shook Rodman’s hand (twice, actually) and as mentioned, offered him a breath mint. And it wasn’t because his breath had Rodman Funk; he was just doing it out of courtesy. However, Chester’s mannerisms during the match were a bit different. He complained from the first turn of game 1 to the last one of game 2, sighing and rolling his eyes every time Rodman countered one of his spells and tossing his all-land hand onto the table in disgust after game 1. I really hate it when people pretend to be nice when they’re actually bags at the core. Even if they’re kids.
Take 2000 States as an example. One turn, I attempted to search with a summoning sick rebel. My opponent, Brendan, insisted on calling a judge out of respect for procedure; he assured me that he wasn’t trying to be an ass. And yet, when the judge merely issued me a warning and made me mana burn, Brendan was quite persistent that I receive a greater penalty. Perhaps he was looking for a game loss. So much for being on my side. He didn’t want what was right or fair; he wanted to screw me over for his own benefit. Several people are totally different once they become planeswalkers of Dominia. Competitive Magic can really bring out the worst in people.
Another thing Chester made me realize is that nothing you can do can really influence what others think of your play skill. If you lose, you suck. If you win, you’re good; it’s that simple. In the end, only results matter. Who’s better: Alex Shvartsman or Matt Rubin? Alex has been known to mana burn after trying to cast Breakthrough during someone’s end step, and to attack Ambassador Laquatus into a graveyard Beast Attack. Matt Rubin isn’t perfect, of course, but he’s at least as technically sound as Shvartsman, to my knowledge. So who’s better? Shvartsman. Because he wins. A lot.
People only care about who makes the money and gets the match wins. (This is somewhat frustrating for me, as I’m currently in a slump.) It doesn’t matter if you manascrew your opponent or outplay him. Chester lost; so he’s bad. The whining about his poor luck (which, in his defense, he did have) didn’t legitimize his skill at all. No manner of pointing out whose play was better will help. Complaining about a loss only transforms you from being a loser to being a sore loser.
This isn’t how I’d like it to be, of course. It’s just how it is.
In the end, Rodman took 4th in that trial. The next day, he, Jon Holt, and Rand traveled to Pittsburgh for another trial, which Rodman also took 4th in. He’s proving to be a really consistent player. God only knows how. But congratulations to him nonetheless. 😉
Finally, on with the Limited review of Judgment white. I’m far from the best player in the world, but I’m sure that I’m skillful enough to provide useful insight about the format of OD/TO/JU draft. In my column, I will first explore each color individually, and then conclude with a discussion of post-Judgment draft archetypes. Joey Bags and I have grown accustomed to rating cards by the”Gary Wise method” of what pick they should be taken, so I’ll continue that practice here. And keep in mind that these appraisals are preliminary, as I’ve obviously had no experience whatsoever actually playing these cards.
Card Name: Ancestor’s Chosen
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 5WW
Type & Class: Creature- Cleric
Power/Toughness: 4/4
Card Text: First Strike. When Ancestor’s Chosen comes into play, you gain 1 life for each card in your graveyard.
Obviously, this thing costs infinite ? and as such, it had better be pretty good to warrant inclusion in your deck. 4/4 is quite a large body for white, and first strike is a valuable ability that should not be underestimated. How many creatures can kill this in one-on-one combat? Throw in the life swing, and you’ve got probably the most expensive non-bomb card I’d be likely to play in a draft. 3rd-5th
Card Name: Aven Warcraft
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 2W
Type & Class: Instant
Power/Toughness: none
Card Text: Creatures you control get +0/+2 until end of turn. Threshold – Creatures you control also gain protection from the color of your choice until end of turn.
This card is somewhat reminiscent of Solidarity from Urza’s Destiny, which really did not see much play. This card doesn’t really do enough to impress me. Most cards can be useful in at least a few situations, so the fact that this helps with combat and damage spells is not enough to make it a high pick. Threshold can be somewhat difficult to achieve in some white decks, from what I’ve seen. Nonetheless, I deem it a very solid 23rd card, from its ability to protect multiple creatures to the possibility of a late-game Falter. 5th-7th
Card Name: Battle Screech
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 2WW
Type & Class: Sorcery
Power/Toughness: none
Card Text: Put two 1/1 white Bird creature tokens with flying into play. Flashback – Tap three untapped white creatures you control.
The nature of this card is quite conducive to its flashback. As long as you have another white creature, you can get yourself four bird tokens in short order. A flying swarm can be difficult to deal with, as we learned from Ordered Migration. I’ve even seen the spirit tokens from a Thresholded Kirtar’s Wrath go the distance on numerous occasions. Flying is good, and multiple creatures for a single card are good, so this card is ________. That’s right. 3rd-5th
Card Name: Battlewise Aven
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 3W
Type & Class: Creature- Bird Soldier
Power/Toughness: 2/2
Card Text: Flying, Threshold – Battlewise Aven gets +1/+1 and has first strike.
By now I would hope that most of you are familiar with the strength of evasion in limited. Also, it is fairly common knowledge that four mana for a 2/2 flyer is pretty standard these days. Thus, this card will usually be played when you draft it, barring an already extremely top-heavy mana curve with a lot of flyers. Since threshold can be difficult in white, it won’t always be a 3/3 first striker, but its base ability is powerful enough. 4th-6th
Card Name: Benevolent Bodyguard
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: W
Type & Class: Creature- Cleric
Power/Toughness: 1/1
Card Text: Sacrifice Benevolent Bodyguard: Target creature you control gains protection from the color of your choice until end of turn.
I don’t know if this guy lives up to the hype Buehler gave him in a magicthegathering.com article, but he’s still extremely useful. It can save any creature from targeted removal or combat damage without the requirement of untapped land. It’s a solid one-drop in a color that, like most, doesn’t really have any. But it is still a 1/1, so don’t take it too highly. It’s most analogous to Standard Bearer; your creatures are safe until it dies, but it’s not that tough to kill. 4th-6th
Card Name: Border Patrol
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 4W
Type & Class: Creature- Nomad
Power/Toughness: 1/6
Card Text: Attacking doesn’t cause Border Patrol to tap.
Talk about boring. I doubt this”wall” will be entering the red zone too often, but it’s quite useful at holding the ground while your flyers do their job. There are several other creatures that can fulfill this job, though, such as Blessed Orator and Mystic Zealot. While the Patrol is harder to kill than either of those, it just doesn’t pack enough power to make the cut over them. 6th-8th
Card Name: Cagemail
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 1W
Type & Class: Enchant Creature
Power/Toughness: none
Card Text: Enchanted Creature gets +2/+2 and can’t attack.
This card has a similar function to the Patrol, but it only affects one creature. It won’t help you any against flying creatures, and putting it on one of your own doesn’t seem like a card-efficient idea. Throw in your opponent’s ability to bounce or grant protection from white to the enchanted creature, and you’ve got a mediocre card. 10th-12th
Card Name: Chastise
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 3W
Type & Class: Instant
Power/Toughness: none
Card Text: Destroy target attacking creature. You gain life equal to its power.
Destroying creatures is nice. This one has the added benefit of suckering in unexpected attackers when your opponent thinks the coast is clear (since you’re a mana shy of being able to cast Second Thoughts). The life gain can be important in the tempo race… But I’d still rather draw a card. 2nd-4th
Card Name: Commander Eesha
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 2WW
Type & Class: Creature- Bird Soldier Legend
Power/Toughness: 2/4
Card Text: Flying, Protection from creatures
Except when blocking flyers, Eesha’s flying is redundant. Still, it is extremely difficult to kill and impossible to block, and it can fend off any non-trampling attacker. I will rarely take anything over this big brother (or is it sister?) of Beloved Chaplain if I’m white. A word of caution, though; creature-based damage prevention, of course, cannot target the Legend. 1st-3rd
Card Name: Funeral Pyre
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: W
Type & Class: Instant
Power/Toughness: none
Card Text: Remove target card in a graveyard from the game. Its owner puts a 1/1 white Spirit creature token with flying into play.
The card is versatile, but it’s not really effective at either of the things it tries to do. While many 1/1 flyers can make an effective swarm, a single 1/1 flyer isn’t really strong enough to warrant inclusion in a deck. Even if there is a card you really want to remove from your opponent’s graveyard, there are probably better ways to do it. 11th-13th
Card Name: Glory
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 3WW
Type & Class: Creature- Incarnation
Power/Toughness: 3/3
Card Text: Flying. 2W: Creatures you control gain protection from the color of your choice until end of turn. Play this ability only if Glory is in your graveyard.
I’ll start out by saying that this is the best white card in the set. 3/3 flyers are often consistent damage sources that can win you the game as long as they stay alive. This creature, however, is one that you actually want to die. You can pitch it to a Mongrel or Patrol Hound, too… But I’d rather see if they can handle the 3/3 flyer before going to the”backup plan.” Once in the yard, Glory becomes simply disgusting, rendering 99% of removal ineffective, dominating creature combat, and preventing blocking whenever you want. Once this card is verified, I would almost expect there to be a”use this ability only once each turn” clause included. 1st
Card Name: Golden Wish
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 3WW
Type & Class: Sorcery
Power/Toughness: none
Card Text: Choose an artifact or enchantment card you own from outside the game, reveal that card, and put it into your hand. Remove Golden Wish from the game.
If the wish cards work the way Ring of Ma’Ruf does, you’ll only be able to get sideboard cards or cards that were removed during the course of the game. As such, the wishes aren’t really that good; in most cases, you’d be better off just playing the card instead of sideboarding it. A notable exception would be if you had multiple Spheres. If this is the case, Golden Wish becomes a tutor for whichever one you need in a given matchup. 12th-14th
Card Name: Guided Strike
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 1W
Type & Class: Instant
Power/Toughness: none
Card Text: Target creature gets +1/+0 and gains first strike until end of turn. Draw a card
Guided Strike is almost unfair. Back in the Weatherlight days, this was one of the most brutal and feared combat tricks around; I don’t see how this would be any different now. Opponents anticipating an even trade or possibly a chump block on your part will soon realize that not only does your creature live, and not only is theirs kold… But you draw a card! 3rd-5th
Card Name: Lead Astray
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 1W
Type & Class: Instant
Power/Toughness: none
Card Text: Tap up to two target creatures.
Cards like this rarely do enough on their own to be playable. Deluge taps down the whole board, and that only makes the cut in certain decks. There are much better ways to handle problem blockers or attackers than to neutralize them for a turn. Many useless cards like this would be much better if they were cantrips… But not all cards can be good, I suppose. 10th-12th
Card Name: Nomad Mythmaker
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 2W
Type & Class: Creature- Cleric
Power/Toughness: 2/2
Card Text: W,T: Put target enchant creature card from a graveyard into play enchanting a creature you control.
This creature has an interesting ability that could be broken if there are multiple Enchant Creatures in graveyards. However, the amount of enchant creatures in the environment that you’d actually want to put on your men is fairly low. This is why I see the Mythmaker as essentially a Gray Ogre that gets better with each Enchant Creature in your deck. It obviously gets better with more cards like Floating Shield and Seton’s Desire in your deck. 5th-7th
Card Name: Phantom Flock
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 3WW
Type & Class: Creature- Bird Soldier Spirit
Power/Toughness: 0/0
Card Text: Flying. Phantom Flock comes into play with three +1/+1 counters on it. If damage would be dealt to Phantom Flock, prevent that damage. Remove a +1/+1 counter from Phantom Flock.
In the end, I’ve decided that the phantom mechanic has roughly equal merits and disadvantages. While a Fiery Temper merely decreases the bird’s size instead of killing it, an opponent’s Chainflinger can make short work of it ? something that normally isn’t true of 3/3s. I would therefore take this at about the same time as I would any other 3/3 flyer. 3rd-5th
Card Name: Phantom Nomad
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 1W
Type & Class: Creature- Nomad Spirit
Power/Toughness: 0/0
Card Text: Phantom Nomad comes into play with two +1/+1 counters on it. If damage would be dealt to Phantom Nomad, prevent that damage. Remove a +1/+1 counter from Phantom Nomad.
This phantom isn’t nearly as interesting as the Flock, coming into play with only two counters and not possessing any evasion abilities. Even so, it is reasonably priced and can get some quick damage in before an opponent has time to set up. It isn’t so great in the late game, though. I guess it could serve as a double chump blocker while you attack in the air, but there are better cards for that purpose. 7th-9th
Card Name: Prismatic Strands
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 2W
Type & Class: Instant
Power/Toughness: none
Card Text: Prevent all damage that a source of the color of your choice would deal this turn. Flashback – Tap an untapped white creature you control.
This card is a reusable Pay No Heed ? which, even though it’s a fair card, is generally inferior to simply having another creature in your deck. Being able to use it twice makes it more attractive, but I’d still rather have Embolden or Shelter. Unfortunately, these are going to be more difficult to get with only one pack of Odyssey. 8th-10th
Card Name: Pulsemage Advocate
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 2W
Type & Class: Creature- Cleric
Power/Toughness: 1/3
Card Text: T: Return three target cards from an opponent’s graveyard to their hand, Return a creature card from your graveyard to play.
The ability to resurrect a creature every turn is very strong, but often it will come at quite a cost to you. With so many ways to use discarding to one’s advantage, even if you give your opponent three lands out of the graveyard, this can often result in card disadvantage for you. The fact that you can”flash back” a creature during combat makes this powerful nonetheless. Often, the threat of being able to do something is as effective as actually doing it. 5th-7th
Card Name: Ray of Revelation
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 1W
Type & Class: Instant
Power/Toughness: none
Card Text: Destroy target enchantment. Flashback – G
It’s effective and efficient, but there are so many enchantment destruction spells in this environment that there is probably no need to draft this one. Take it if you have somehow managed not to draft any in the first two packs. 12th-14th
Card Name: Selfless Exorcist
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 3WW
Type & Class: Creature- Cleric
Power/Toughness: 3/4
Card Text: T: Remove target creature card in a graveyard from the game. That cretaure deals damage equal to its power to Selfless Exorcist.
It’s unlikely that the Exorcist’s ability will be used too often, but it can be used in a pinch to thwart a Gravedigger or an Ichorid. It does, however, provide a fairly hefty body for a reasonable price, giving white some much-needed muscle. 3rd-5th
Card Name: Shieldmage Advocate
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 2W
Type & Class: Creature- Cleric
Power/Toughness: 1/3
Card Text: T: Return target card in opponent’s graveyard to their hand. Prevent all damage that would be dealt to target creature or player this turn from one source.
I think this may be better than the Pulsemage Advocate solely because of the difference in amount of card disadvantage suffered to activate it. We all know the merits of damage prevention against red decks or simply in creature combat, so this guy can obviously be quite a nuisance for your opponents. 4th-6th
Card Name: Silver Seraph
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 5WWWW
Type & Class: Creature- Angel
Power/Toughness: 6/6
Card Text: Flying, Threshold – All other creatures you control gain +2/+2.
This is a typical ridiculous fatty. If you can circumvent its prohibitive mana cost, or if you can somehow reliably get to nine mana before the game is a lose-lose proposition, she’s insane. Sometimes I wonder if R&D just tries to cram as many abilities onto a single creature as possible, knowing that its mana cost will keep any of it from ever mattering. She may as well also have first strike and trample, amIright? Even so, nine mana is actually a very real possibility, and she’ll probably win you some games, so it may be in your best interest to take her. 2nd-4th
Card Name: Solitary Confinement
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 2W
Type & Class: Enchanment
Power/Toughness: none
Card Text: At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Solitary Confinement unless you discard a card. Skip your draw step. You can not be the target of spells or abilities. Prevent all damage that would be dealt to you.
This one’s a little trickier to gauge than most. It grants you the ability to simply never lose the game (barring Organ Grinders, Caustic Tars, and the like) as long as you can discard for it. Even without a reusable source of card drawing, this can buy you several turns while you try to finish your opponent off with flyers or unblockables. It is quite fragile, since its time in play is automatically limited, and is further reduced by Disenchant effects and even discard. You also have to have some form of board advantage. You don’t necessarily need to be ahead; you can play it if you have a Commander Eesha and your opponent has a swarm of creatures. And if you ever lose Confinement due to failure to pay upkeep, then you’ve probably lost. 7th-9th
Card Name: Soulcatcher’s Aerie
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 1W
Type & Class: Enchantment
Power/Toughness: none
Card Text: Whenever a Bird you control is put into a graveyard from play, put a feather counter on Soulcather’s Aerie. All Birds get +1/+1 for each Feather counter on Soulcatcher’s Aerie
You’d have to have an almost solely bird deck before this card becomes useful. In most cases, I’d rather just keep my birds alive through Shelter and damage prevention than have the rest of them benefit from one’s demise. 11th-13th
Card Name: Spirit Cairn
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 2W
Type & Class: Enchantment
Power/Toughness: none
Card Text: Whenever a player discards a card from their hand, you may pay W. If you do, put a 1/1 flying white Spirit token into play.
The utility of this card hinges on whether you and your opponent have a lot of discard effects. If you manage to scrape up a couple of Looters, this enchantment can be quite powerful, netting you an army of 1/1 flyers as you get card quality advantage and approach threshold. Even so, it is situational, and I doubt I’d maindeck it unless I had about five or more sources of repeated discard in my deck. 7th-9th
Card Name: Spurnmage Advocate
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: W
Type & Class: Creature- Nomad
Power/Toughness: 1/1
Card Text: T: Return two target cards in an opponent’s graveyard to their hand. Destroy target attacking creature.
Destroying creatures is a good thing, even if it results in card disadvantage. In the case of the Spurnmage Advocate, since you’re killing a creature of your choice and giving your opponent back his two most worthless cards in the graveyard, the creature gives”card quality disadvantage” to your opponent. And, as mentioned, the mere threat of being able to use this can serve as a deterrent. It is fragile, but it also fits nicely into your mana curve. All in all, this is one of the best white cards in the set. 2nd-4th
Card Name: Suntail Hawk
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: W
Type & Class: Creature- Bird
Power/Toughness: 1/1
Card Text: Flying
Flying Men, Scryb Sprites… And now Suntail Hawk. I would only play this in the most dedicated of flying beatdown decks. Evasion is useful, but a power of one simply isn’t enough to make much impact on the game. 10th-12th
Card Name: Test of Endurance
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 2WW
Type & Class: Enchantment
Power/Toughness: none
Card Text:At the beginning of your upkeep, if you have 50 or more life, you win the game.
Not a chance. If you somehow find yourself with fifty or more life, you’ll probably win the game anyway. This is unless you’ve drafted the Life Burst deck, in which case the only way you can possibly win is by drawing this. You probably don’t even have enough gas in the tank to get to fifty life, anyway. I’ve spent enough time explaining the obvious… 15th
Card Name: Trained Pronghorn
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 1W
Type & Class: Creature- Antelope
Power/Toughness: 1/1
Card Text:Discard a card from your hand: Prevent all damage that would be dealt to Trained Pronghorn until end of turn.
This ability would have been much more effective on a larger creature. Like the Suntail Hawk, it is simply not large enough to be effective. 9th-11th
Card Name: Unquestioned Authority
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 2W
Type & Class: Enchant Creature
Power/Toughness: none
Card Text: When Unquestioned Authority comes into play, draw a card. Enchanted creature has protection from creatures.
This card is going to be amazing. The enchanted creature gets all the benefits of”Chaplain’s blessing” ? unblockable, holds off your opponent’s largest attacker, can’t be the target of creature-based removal like Cabal Torturer ? plus, you draw a card! Just be careful to play this when your opponent can’t kill or bounce the target in response. 4th-6th
Card Name: Valor
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 3W
Type & Class: Creature- Incarnation
Power/Toughness: 2/2
Card Text: First Strike. As long as Valor is in your graveyard and you control a Plains, creatures you control have first strike.
Like Glory, Valor is probably better off dead. First strike is an excellent ability; Pardic Collaborator has proven to be almost as good as its Balshan cousin, for instance. This seems like it would be at home in a green creature deck with a lot of monsters, making gang-blocking impossible. Giving all your creatures a decided edge in combat is a good thing. This obviously gets better if you have a lot of creatures and a way to discard it, but you can always play it and let it die. 4th-6th
Card Name: Vigilant Sentry
Card Color: White
Mana Cost: 1WW
Type & Class: Creature- Nomad
Power/Toughness: 2/2
Card Text: Threshold – Vigilant Sentry gets +1/+1 and gains”T: Target attacking or blocking creature gets +3/+3 until end of turn.”
It goes without saying that the Sentry is mediocre without threshold and insanely good with it. Try to figure out how likely you are to get threshold when determining whether you should pick it. 3rd-7th
And there you have my initial appraisal of Judgment white. Tune in to next week’s installment, when I will cover blue and possibly black. There shouldn’t be too much in the way of tournament-related hijinx since I’m busily finishing up a semester at college, but that will likely change in the summer.
As a final note, here is a glossary of a few unfamiliar terms that were used in the article:
loid, lloyd, chris, christopher, christopher lloyd: All alternate names for”mongoloid,” used here to describe players who don’t know what they’re doing. I know that’s not nice. I’m not nice.
bag: Shorthand for scumbag, a person of questionable character.
kold: Old Team Sped lingo meaning”dead” in this case, but can also mean a variety of other things.
Until next time,
Tim Aten
[email protected]
“We do what we like and we like what we do.” -Andrew W.K.,”Party Hard”
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