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Dead Words

Kack-handed Introduction: "We began before words, and we will end beyond them. It sometimes seems to me that our days are poisoned with too many words. Words said and not meant. Words said AND meant. Words divorced from feeling. Wounding words. Words that conceal. Words that reduce. Dead words."+ Things have been really busy at…

Kack-handed Introduction:
"We began before words, and we will end beyond them. It sometimes seems to me that our days are poisoned with too many words. Words said and not meant. Words said AND meant. Words divorced from feeling. Wounding words. Words that conceal. Words that reduce. Dead words."+

Things have been really busy at Star City this year, haven’t they? I mean, just consider the sheer quantity of material that has been published in the last twelve months – if we take an average of three feature articles per day++ plus a couple of ‘submissions,’ and consider 240 working days or so – that’s well over…

…hang on…

…I’ll just get me calculator…

…twelve hundred pages of stuff – even more when you consider Alongi, Rizzo, and myself are prone to writing novellas.

And, I expect, like the saps you are, you (dearest of all dear readers) read the bloody lot, didn’t you? You surfed your way each day and digested the whole shooting match -and that’s just on Star City!

Maybe each site should produce an end-of-year special – a sort of ‘Best of the web…’ affair with… oh, I don’t know… a balance of serious versus stupid articles with, perhaps, EXCEPTIONALLY VALUABLE CARDS as awards?

Hmm? Would it work?

  • Bullet Point One:

    It’s been a while, I know, since I wrote anything coherent or considered (some would argue that I’ve never written anything coherent and considered but, hey, they suck eggs like their Grandmas taught ’em), what with being tied up on that Parallax Survivor island and all. Man, I don’t know about Anthony Alongi, but that whole exercise got VERY tiring towards the end – trying to keep the format different for you guys, trying to keep it interesting and original – and he carried on with the Pillar Of Excellence (TM) that is Casual Fridays as well!

    So, what did you folks think of P.S?

    Either you were sending all your mailbombs to AA, the network was down for three months, you’re all desperately shy, or nobody actually read it; basing these assumptions, as I do, on the distinct lack of any feedback in my e-mail – I won’t bite your heads off, you know, drop me a line.*

  • Bullet Point Two

    Well, what a year it’s been, eh?

    Let me summarise, tritely – feel free to send in rants and raves about any and/or all:

    • The fall and (slow) rise of The Dojo;
    • The fall and recent Phoenix-like emergence from the embers of Meridian Magic (this IS something to celebrate – go see its new look) (Yes, DO! –The Ferrett);
    • The banning of Ritual;
    • Trix and Replenish dominate the Summer, followed closely by the Trinity Green Please-keep-me-secret fiasco;
    • The limp one-month suspension of Mike Long;
    • The loss of Urza’s block, much to the relief of most of us;
    • Star City recruiting just about everyone in the Magic community to Feature Write for them;
    • Jon Finkel winning friggin’*** everything (he even took the bottle of Harvey’s Bristol Cream** at our local church raffle last weekend – the bastard);
    • Invasion proving to be rather good actually (TM);
    • Me getting a writing gig with some form of recompense; me qualifying (and coming 54th) at the English Nationals; me producing my first game**** and so much else besides.*****

      Perhaps it could fall to someone more serious than myself to produce a definitive ‘Review Of The Year’ – Ferrett, fancy the gig? Oh yes! Thanks for reminding me – there was a change of Captain at Star City; Ferrett hasn’t so much as ‘filled’ Omeed’s shoes as sprayed them with fluorescent paint and nailgunned them to the fender of a souped-up Chevy! Let me be the umpteenth to heap some praise on the aforementioned hirsute editor-type – ’tis a man’s job you’ve done, sir… (It’s too bad she won’t live! But then again, who does? — The Ferrett, grateful master of obscure references)

  • Bullet Point Three:
    The one thing the Magic Community seems to be missing is some sort of award ceremony – I mean, you’ve got Rankings and Ratings and PT Points and the like, but the people need to find a voice; plus, I love all those award show things!

    So, for your delectation and consideration, here are some possible categories – perhaps someone could take THIS on, too (I’m saving myself a lot of work here!):

    • Best Player In The World Today
    • The Worst Thing About Magic: The Gathering
    • Best Strategy Writer
    • Best Non-Strategy Writer
    • Best New Writer
    • The Best Individual Article Of The Year Award (gotta nominate "Purge Mode: ON," here)
    • The Players’ Favourite Deck
    • The Players’ Most-Despised Deck
    • Special Contribution To Magic: The Gathering Award
    • Event or Moment Of The Year
  • Ill-Considered Conclusion:

    That’s all, really. I’m tired and I want to go to bed. So, until the postman of Time exacts retribution for a piddling "Christmas Tip" by inserting the doggy-doo of Fate into the letterbox of Destiny, have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

    God Bless,

    Tony Boydell

    + – Taken from "Beyond Words" by Ben Okri, included in the sampler compilation "Birds Of Heaven"

    ++ – Based on research conducted in Eastern Europe by people pretending to be scientists in order to get ‘filthy Yankee dollars’

    * – It will make a nice change from BananaLotto spam

    ** – Fortified wine drunk by purple-rinsed nonagenarians with little finger ‘in extensio’; and sad, urine-soaked beardy-weirdies down at the bus depot who think that you are ‘their mate.’

    *** – And talking of "friggin," one of my personal highlights of the year has been the (re)discovery of Mr John Friggin’ Rizzo – whose anger and aggression I find both com- and re-pulsive – let’s hope 2001 follows in the same vein as Purge Mode: On…

    **** – Yet ANOTHER shameless plug for COPPERTWADDLE – come see us at: http://www.surprisedstaregames.co.uk

    ***** – It’s all ‘me, me, me’, isn’t it ?