Battle Royale Round 7: Where’s Billy?

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Battle Time came and went, and Magic’s bearded pro was nowhere to be seen. Today’s article is a brief one, outlining the reasons for the no-show…

Hey everybody. It’s Billy here to regale you tales of how I destroyed Evan in this weekend’s Battle Royale.

What’s that you say?

You heard a vicious rumor that I needed the world-class Richie Hoaen to handle my heavy lifting? That maybe I wasn’t man enough to take my expected beating in person?

Perhaps I was just afraid of success and all the expectations it would bring… after all, one more win puts me in rarefied territory, sharing the all-time Battle Royale title with Talen Lee. What if I’m a fluke? What if I can’t win again?

Bah, I say. This weekend was a formality, and I was late to the show because I couldn’t figure out how to put on my clip-on bowtie. I tell you, this match was won in the war room. I could’ve let General Custer lead my troops Sunday evening. Evan’s Little Red Men were pox infected, and it really wasn’t a fair fight. Anyone who looked at the decklists last week was expecting a bloodbath.

I’d like to take credit for a brilliant metagame read, but I got lucky. I mean, I was happy with the deck as a budget translation of something I’m actually working on, but thank god I didn’t need his Wrath. I’d like to give you a more in-depth analysis of the match, but I wasn’t actually there for any of it. Like I said on Monday, I’m on vacation in Texas, and I just lost track of my playdate amidst the hustle and bustle of visiting old friends. On the plus side, I will be talking about the non-budget version of the deck next week. So you have that to look forward to.

I was hoping maybe we could make a tradition out of this week’s accident – having me design the budget decks and letting Richie battle, the two of us taking on all comers. But Rich is the grumpiest and didn’t want the obligation. Oh well, maybe you guys can beg him.

Next week, I’ll be defending our title all by my lonesome. And I promise I’ll show up… as long as I figure out what I’m going to wear.

Until next time,