AuthorTomi Walamies

Now a full-time stand up comedian, Tomi Walamies has three Pro Tour Top 8s to his name, is 25th all time on the earnings list, and is considered to be one of the funniest Magic writers of all time.

Blessed: Pro Tour London 2005 *6th*

The story of how one of the funniest men in Magic started 0-2 and clawed his way all the way back to his third Pro Tour Top 8 appearance. This article is an absolute treat to all readers, whether you are a long-time Walamies fan or just discovering the Finnish master for the first time.

Punishment: An Interview With Gabriel Nassif

I have interviewed my man Gabriel Nassif for your viewing pleasure. This man is not only on a hot streak, but he also invented the saying “That’s for sure, that’s for sure,” making him a bona-fide celebrity.

T: When did you start making Top 8s in the qualifiers?
G: Actually, the situation when I started getting better was pretty strange. My mom would not let me play, so I had to play the PTQs in secret. I played three in a row where I went undefeated and then conceded, since mom would not let me travel.

Punishment: Ich Bin Ein Berliner (Worlds Report)

I did more playtesting and MODOing during this summer than in the previous two years combined. I really wanted to see if we could take the title, and felt that there was more than money on the line. This practice actually scared me a bit, since I had been mising nice prizes with little work for quite some time now. What would happen when I actually worked at it?

Punishment: Second-Round Bye, Last Round Win – Finnish Nationals Report *Champion*

I remember watching the finals of Nationals in 1995. The guy who beat me with the netdeck is playing it out versus some godawful Shivan Dragon special. He is losing anyway, as a sideboard with loads of Glooms and Flashfires is quite good against white weenie. I look at the winner’s expression, and wonder what he feels like. Would it be like the best thing ever, or more like a nice warm feeling in the stomach? I would like to be a National Champion myself. Maybe someday I will.

Punishment: But I Kept Rhymin’ (PT Venice Report: *2nd Place*)

What you are about to read is a report of one the most screwed-up Pro Tours by far. Pyromancers, twenty-six-land goblin decks, Explosive Vegetations that are used in the role of reanimation spells, people boarding Rorix in every conceivable matchup, and the Withered Wretch-Silvos-Akroma, Angel of Wrath deck that made top8. All this in the city of water and old buildings… And in the country that brings you the ex-porn actress/present parliamentary representative. I will most definitely not be discussing those all in detail, as it would just blow my mind.

Punishment: The Deck They Shoulda Used At The Masters

I have played some standard on Magic Online lately, and my favorite deck right now is monoblack control. I have done quite well with it, winning something like 70% of more than a hundred matches. Is this good? I haven’t played a lot of Standard in Magic Online before, so I don’t know if you need like 75% wins in order to show that the deck is good. The opposing decks did seem okay, if we exclude the guy who used Cabal Ritual to power out a speedy Dusk Imp.

Punishment: New Topics

I have, lately, been watching some of the internet conversations that have been going on – and came up with a few new ideas. The following topics, in my opinion, are of a highly urgent nature, and not surrounded with enough speculation.