Here’s something for you to stab up your smart-hole: when you think about dying, do you think about it as missing out on a whole bunch of stuff that you would have done, but now won’t get to because you’re corpsified? In a weekend rife with missed opportunities, I’m surprised to have come away with…
The list of what went right this weekend is too short to warrant space on Star City’s server. I’ve broken this week’s story into Mini-Series form. This will be a long one, but it’s chock full of funny, and more than worth your while. Episode 0: The OMC consults an , Adam Consults for the…
This has been a week of finding out THINGS. One thing I found out this week is that the African Lion Safari slogan "Go Wild!" is neither imperative nor literal. It took me a little while to work myself into a nice feral blood lust, but once it got going, jiminy! I do wish they…
I think I’ve given up wholesale this week. Consequently, you, dear reader, are given a choice. Either a) It is only the fiery dedication that the OMC feels to his grateful readers that keeps him strapped to his word-mill, tirelessly pounding out whatever it is that he pounds out. Or b) The OMC has finally…
"If I don’t get my funk, I turn into a grump. Then I start calling people ‘Fool’." -Mr. T, and the OMC "He brings the Holy War: JIHAD." -Said about Paul Atreidies, and to a lesser extent, the OMC I come to you this week with empty hands. All of my well-laid plans have shambled…
This week’s article is being brought to you in spectacular HUBRISVISION, allowing you, the reader, a more realistic experience. More capitalisations! More rhetoric! Watch my ego grow in realtime! Bigger, faster, stronger, more! It’s all here with HUBRISVISION! And now, today’s feature, brought to you by Bounty (It’s the coconut-kick-in-the-face!) : Let’s take a quick…
Something has gone horribly, horribly awry. In many important ways, reality is not matching my expectations of it. This is cramping my style. For instance, why do I not get top billing on this site? It seems to me that my columns are a shining jewel in the crown that we call the internet. Yet…
Part of me wishes I had better news for you. I wanted to be able to start this week’s foray into the realm of words with a screamed-out "I’M ON THE TOUR!," and I really can’t. I mean, would I lie to you? Of course, but I wouldn’t lie if I knew I’d be found…
It’s a real shame that you, my rabid readership, can’t share in what I’m experiencing right now: . Total, blessed silence. Once again I’m writing into the total vacuum of the internet, with no feedback whatsoever. I’m free to believe whatever I please about you folks. It’s all pretty flattering stuff. You’re all really intelligent,…
Guten Tag from the Germany of my soul. I’m freshly moved into my new digs, and what with it being 11:30 pm, and this column horribly overdue, it’s time to kick it into overdrive and hope I don’t drown in mediocrity. Excuse any tense shifts you find along the way, it’s just me rehashing material…
