Adam Prosak is a name that strikes terror into the hearts of West Coast Magic and Vs players alike. And yet, as you’ll see in his triumphant return to StarCityGames.com, the owner of the “ihatepants” account on Magic Online is as much buffoon as master, even when he’s winning PTQs.
I won last year – but needless to say, I wanted to defend my prestigious title. Most of my testing occurred by playing formats other than Champions Standard. That last statement is a bit misleading, since Mirrodin Block and pre-Kamigawa Standard are pretty much the same format as the States. You play Affinity and try to win the mirror match, or you play a deck that does nothing but beat Affinity and go home when you play someone who didn’t get the memo.
Phimus Pan was literally the only person left that I wanted to team with. Despite what Roberto Gonzales may feel, two people does not a team make. To my rescue came James Davis. His team did not fare well in Phoenix, and his other Phoenix-based teammates did not want to make the 7.5 hr trek to New Mexico. Pants Pants Revolution was born!
My preparation for the Grand Prix involved convincing my fellow Arizonans to actually go the GP, begging them to play respectable decks, and least importantly, fine-tuning my old deck. Besides fixing the blatant metagame errors (four Masticore/ zero Mindslaver main) I made at the Pro Tour, I also gave my deck the ability to go off with Stroke of Genius and Metalworker. With three Strokes, three Gilded Lotus, and three Cunning Wish, I could simply win by tapping Metalworker to fuel a large Stroke of Genius, (hopefully) drawing a Voltaic Key, using it to untap the Metalworker and play a Gilded Lotus, giving me the Blue mana to continue playing Stroke of Genius and Voltaic Keys, until I had enough mana to Stroke an opponent out.
I have a confession to make: I am Adam Prosak and I have an addiction to Wild Mongrel. I also have an unholy love for Quiet Speculation, which was so good to me that it placed me 5th at Grand Prix: Cleveland and won me the Kentucky Open (sorta), so you know I’ve been playing U/G since it began. And though I’m qualified for Nationals on ranking, here’s a complete listing of the U/G build I would play if I were to go to Regionals, the sideboarding strategyes, and what to watch for in each matchup.
I could spice up the story by saying that I prayed to the almighty and dropped a flying elbow on my deck, but I just calmly flipped the top card of my deck onto the table… And it was Upheaval. So I played my land, and ended with a hand of five lands and Wild Mongrel. Her board didn’t have any early drops – just Arrogant Wurm, Wonder and Equilibrium, and her next two draws didn’t reveal a chump blocker. I realized that I no longer had the right to complain about any topdeck ever.
