I wish everyone all the best for 2002; I’m excited about this new year. I get new coins (I live in the Netherlands and as of yesterday, we all changed over to the Euro) and new cards; I heard some wacky rumors about Torment, and if they are true it is really going to be something we’ve never seen before.
But let’s get going with our own wackiness! Sheldon gave the e-Pen to David Phifer; this Magic dinosaur has written many articles about multiplayer, so let’s see what the most amazing thing that has happened to him is.
Sexy Rector, by David Phifer
As this year comes to a close, it is a natural time to reflect on all that has happened this past year. Of course, I am talking about memorable Magic games, specifically multiplayer. Pretty much everyone in our group has a memorable moment or two, something that everyone remembers when they talk about multiplayer. That time when Sheldon attacked Steve with all of his creatures, only for Steve to respond by casting Disenchant on Joseph’s Disk, forcing him to blow it in response. Then there was the time when Sheldon set up his hand to combo everyone out next turn and Steve played Wheel of Fortune, ruining Sheldon’s chances… Ah, the memories.
I had built a new multiplayer deck for a Casual Night that we do from time to time. Normally, I am pretty open about my decks for multiplayer and most are not too sneaky. Often I favor Recurring Hermits or something involving Death Pit Offering. This time it was to be different. This time no one would see it coming.
The first game I busted out the deck for was a letdown. I played land, some more land, and even more land. Sure, I played a River Boa or two, but nothing else of interest. But then I drew the Academy Rector! I played the Rector and began to calculate how I was going to pull off my evil scheme. I was low on life, though; I needed life. I gained some as my Rector decided he would rather be out plowing fields than helping me win. Meanwhile, the Pestilence deck was going nuts and creatures were attacking me and my River Boas with reckless disregard. Sure, I played a Heroes Reunion or two, but time was running out. I played another Rector. He lived long enough to die, so I grabbed the one card that could slow the bleeding – Humility.
It wasn’t enough, I am afraid. I died a slow death to hordes of 1/1s.
However my deck was supposed to be faster than that; it was only a bad draw, I assured myself. Normally when we play a new game, we all switch decks to keep it fresh. I kept the same one – I had to know if it would work.
We shuffled, I drew, I smiled. I played some land and gained some life. There is no better way to stop people from attacking you than dropping that Academy Rector. The Rector bought me some time, which is all I needed. For everyone else, the board turned ugly. Large non-flying creatures were rampant. They were pummeling other people into submission – everyone but my Rector and me. Lisa, Sheldon’s wife, untapped, drew a card, growled slightly as it was unhelpful, and surveyed the board. She needed to stay back on defense, but Sheldon had another plan,”Attack David; he’ll block with the Rector and get Humility.” This would, of course, stop the large creatures and give everyone (specifically him) time to get his own game plan going.
Lisa smelled trickery. She didn’t want to do it. She had to do it, though, to help keep her alive. She attacked. I blocked. I removed from game. I fetched… Yawgmoth’s Bargain.
A hush fell across the room. A gurgled”…urh?” was uttered by someone. I consulted my life total. I checked my mana. I cast Hero’s Reunion and went to twenty-five life. I drew twenty cards.
I checked the number of creatures in play. Plenty. I played Firestorm for twenty.
The card hung on the stack awkwardly as people digested it. Everyone glanced at their hands, their mana, to no avail. The trap was sprung. Lisa’s attempt to save the table had gone horribly, horribly wrong. Instead of everyone’s creatures being diminished they were now blazing infernos and crumbling into ash, just like their masters.
In one fell swoop, it was done. Cards were collected, life totals reset, and the deck was put away – never to resurface again. But for one moment, one fiery apocalyptic moment, I was king.
I have no confirmation for next week yet, so we will have to wait and see. I have some backup stories but more are always welcome, so if you want to have a chance at $5 Star City credit and help me out at the same time, send your wackiest multiplayer experiences to [email protected]. Any other comments are welcome too.
Until then, have fun,