Wacky Wednesdays #22: Infernal Drinks

As usual, win $5 in StarCity credit for your craziest multiplayer story! On the table this week: Brandy-fueled Necratog shenanigans!

This week’s article is written by a friend of Rizzo.

Infernal Drinks, by friend of Rizzo

If you’re looking for deck lists, strategy, and the latest Tech, you’re definitely going to be disappointed by what you find here.

Today is Friday. Friday is my Magic playing night. Friday is my favorite day of the week. Unfortunately, I will not be playing Magic tonight. Tonight, I will be making Broccoli Salad for thirty people. Tomorrow morning, I will be driving my family to New Prague for a baby shower. The baby is already two months old, but that’s how things work out sometimes. My wife’s entire family will be there, and none of them play Magic. Oh well, I can always drink; I’ll probably just play with the children.

Last Friday I played Magic at Chris’s house. I have a standing invitation for 7:00. I call if my plans change.

Chris and I are partners in the ownership of our Magic cards. We build huge, unfocused decks built around bizarre themes, using virtually every card ever printed from 4th edition onward. We keep these decks in boxes. We choose which decks to play via a random method so that no one knows what they’re playing with or what they’re playing against. No fair peeking! We just draw seven cards and play what is dealt. We allow free mulligans for all land or no land hands.

The time has just passed 2:00 in the morning, and we are playing our twentieth game of the evening. It turns out to be a black-on-black mirror match up. It starts normally as we both are dropping lands and creatures. I play a Kormus Bell, and Chris plays a Wall of Shadows. I play a Sadistic Glee on a Necratog before playing a Nausea. Chris taps and sacrifices his Armor Thrull to save his Wall of Shadows, and I put 13 +1/+1 tokens on my Necratog. Three turns later, I’m hitting him with a Phyrexian Ghoul while he blocks the Necratog with the Wall. I’ve got him on a very short clock now.

Chris topdecks… Spike Cannibal!

I just about hand him the thirteen tokens when I catch a clue and sacrifice the Necratog to the Ghoul. Now we’re at a stalemate, with both of us in topdeck mode. Chris plays Anvil of Bogardan, which allows us to draw two cards each draw phase, discarding one. Slowly, we build up opposing armies playing land after land, creature after creature until I draw a bomb: Infernal Denizen! I have seven swamps in play, but I know it’s a just a matter of time before I draw an eighth land. By this time, the ground war is in a horrible stalemate, but we each have Abyssal Specters staring at each other across the red zone. I know that I’ll soon be ruling the skies.

Chris pulls Bottomless Pit. Good-bye, Denizen! I start to give Chris grief about his topdecking genius when I pull Volrath’s Stronghold. Zip zap tap tap tap, Infernal Denizen is on the top of my deck. Now I can really cackle. All I have to do is draw Mr. 5/7 off the top and it’s all over but the crying. Chris, of course, won’t hear of it. He topdecks Rain of Tears! Sayonara, Stronghold! Now when I draw my Denizen I can’t play him and during my following upkeep I have to discard him – again! I know, I know! It was a rookie mistake to use the Stronghold before I absolutely had to, but it was 2:30 in the morning and I’d had my share of a liter of Brandy. Poor excuse. In reality, I was just being cocky.

My favorite part of playing Magic is when threats are played then thwarted, played and thwarted until that final bomb that can not be stopped. I love games that flip back and forth with every card that’s played. My next draw… Minion of Leshrac! Chris looks at his top card and scoops. A fine end to another fun-filled night of Magic. We shake hands and say our goodbyes.

Next Week

PT Nice was great, I managed to play a couple of games of five color with Rui. The first was won by me, casting a Coalition Victory; Rui and his hordes of large creatures swarmed in two other games, though. We also played some multiplayer, and maybe I can get him to write about it. Next week we’ll see an old tournament staple make into the kitchen table.

‘Til then, have fun,


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