The Weekly Guild Build: Bye Bye, Borborygmos

Ah, Guildpact. The PTQ season for Sealed is largely over, meaning that the sharks will swim out of the pool and back into playing whatever other format will get them the Pro Tour points they need. The rest of us, however, will still be trying to analyze the damned format — because frankly, it’s so durned complex that we need all the practice we can get for whenever Dissension arrives. Or perhaps, you’re just looking to try to figure out what the best Sealed Deck practices are for that Two-Headed Champs thing coming up.

In any case, I’m still here, pluggin’ away. That’s my job; I’m Sealed Guy. And here’s a Sealed Deck.

What more do you want? Humor?

Well, I don’t know whether I should give it to you.

See, there’s an interesting thing that happens when you move up to the “Strategy” section of StarCityGames.com. Back when I was Casual Multiplayer guy, ranting about whatever Magical issue happened to cross my path raised my hits considerably. If I went off on a tirade about Vintage or the latest inept Wizards business practice, my readership doubled. Casual players like that kind of stuff.

But now that I’m stuck here in the stuffy ol’ Strategy section, whenever I stray from being your deckbuilding monkey, my hits drop. Last week, I mused upon the Invitational and how it may be mis-structured* — and compared to the number of people who normally tune in, almost nobody read it.

Since I use this column as a partial way to plug my Web comic, Home on the Strange, that’s a distressing thing, and I need as many of you as possible to go visit my new site. This week, we’re discussing Buffy the Vampire Slayer. How can you see my funny when you’re not clicking past the title?

Seriously, though, I’m not sure why the numbers differ… But boy, do they. When I wrote what I think is one of my best articles ever, The Rye or the Kaiser, it sank without a trace. (Admittedly, I could have chosen a better title, like “Free Nude Pictures Of Catherine Zeta-Jones.”) But when I wrote a fairly boring article about a build where I left Borborgymos behind, that did great.

I sort of envision the strategy crowd as sniffing at such things as “Magic issues,” passing by any article that doesn’t specifically say, “This will help you win your next game now OMG OMG OMG.” They’re a critical crowd, and I suspect they’re looking at this introduction right now and sneering, “Stop with the side note and get to the deck, you buffoon!”

But I don’t get the lack of response. I mean, it’s not like I stopped looking at Sealed decks to ramble on about the Invitational. Heck, if you didn’t like what I had to say about the Invitational, you could scroll right down to the actual deckbuilding part. But apparently, if you’re a Strategy guy, you don’t want any chaff, and the slightest whiff of non-decky stuff on the front page sends you screaming for the hills.

Unless it’s Rizzo. Rizzo gets great hits. And Chris Romeo can do anything and he still gets fifteen zillion people reading him. Their audiences expect weirdness from them, I guess…. Which means that perhaps, people are now expecting me to write in a sober fashion.

When did I become a serious strategy author? That’s a little distressing. I might need to kook this column up a little in the future. But as the Editor-in-Chief of this here site here, I figure I should know, so lemme ask you a question:

What gets you to read an article?

Not just my articles, mind you; any article. When you arrive at the front page of the mighty S-C-G, and it’s not an author who you’ll automatically read because you’re a fan, what’s the sort of thing that will lure you into clicking on the link? Is it strategy? A recommendation from the editor? A sample of a writing style that sounds funny? The promise that you will win games if only you read this fascinating tidbit?

I’m curious. Sound off in the forums.

But that’s enough exploring my own colon with my forehead. From here on out, I’m your dancin’ monkey-building deck boy.

So here’s your deck. If you want funny, go visit my web comic.

Sealed Deck

Ferrett Steinmetz

Test deck on 03-19-2006

Ravnica Limited

Creatures (40)

Lands (3)

First, let’s take a look the way that we usually do: what insane rares do we have that we want to smash face with?

Well, in this particular deck’s case, it’s pretty simple: Borborygmos. But alas, that doesn’t help us a whole lot, since the Green is weak. So let’s break it down color-by-color instead:

White:
I love getting double-Devouring Light these days, since I can do the big fake-out — I’ll Devour you, and then when you think it’s safe, I’ll do it again! Mwoo hah hah! (Just, you know, cast the non-foil version first if you can.)

Basically, this White is the uber-defense package. You’ve got your Devouring, a Fetters to take care of anything that doesn’t feel like attacking, and a Droning Bureaucrats to ensure that anything that doesn’t get Fettered or eaten doesn’t feel like attacking.

(Incidentally, even after typing about the damn card for half a year, my initial instinct is still to type Faith’s Ferretts. When a card name is so close to your name…)

We also have Hour of Reckoning, which is a card that is all that, but is not all that and the bag of chips. I mean, it’s a Wrath of God effect in a format that’s scarce on them, so I’m never not going to play it if I can… But there are a lot of regeneration effects out there, and it does not say “cannot be regenerated.” Also, triple-White isn’t to be scoffed at, particularly since at this stage we don’t have a whole lot of White creatures to convoke with.

I should add that I thought Absolver Thrull would be an absolute house in this format… And I was wrong. Yes, there are a lot of enchantments running amuck, but it seems like I always draw the Thrull in the early game when I need a body, before anyone’s gotten an enchantment out. And once he’s on the table, everyone’s smart enough to play around him. Again, he’s not chopped liver, but he’s not the auto-include I once thought he was.

I also know a lot of people who play with Caregiver, but he’s no Plagued Rusalka. Sacrificing a creature to prevent a point of damage is a bit much — unless, of course, you have a deck where you need to sacrifice on command. But even then, I’d rather have Thoughtpicker Witch.

Green:
Last week, I got a Green pool that had power, but it was all in late-game creature with double-Green mana, so I couldn’t splash it. Wait, is this last week?

Yep. Fortunately, the only single-Green critter we can splash, Battering Wurm, is absolutely insane — yeah, he’s seven mana, but in the slower Sealed format you can often get to seven. Plus, if we go with White we’ll have infinite ways to draw out the game, making him a damned fine finisher. In particular, the Wurm punishes Blue and Black for not playing with beef, which I always like.

I spend my days looking at the Scatter the Seeds, which is so great on turn 4… But there are practically no other Green creatures to Convoke it with. And then I cry a little cry.

Red:
Red is populated with weenies… Which is fine, but it seems like whenever I lose, it’s because I either can’t handle my opponent’s fat or can’t put him on a quick enough clock. I mean, War-Torch Goblin, Tin Street Hooligan, and Bloodscale Prowler are nice, but essentially their abilities are so situational they’re almost generic dudes.

(Okay, Tin Street can take out a second-turn Signet, which is nice, but that assumes I’m playing Green as a main color.)

Ghor-Clan Bloodscale, however, I have come to loathe, mainly because I’m always playing against him. He seemed expensive to me at first, and yeah, he’s vulnerable to anything that that has “-x/-1” in the text… But that whole first-striking thing makes him better than I gave him credit for at first. It costs a lot to pump him, but he can be the difference between a win and a loss in the late game when you’re both topdecking.

Coalhauler Swine? I have lost to you for the last time. You’re great if I’m ahead, but when I’m behind, you hurt me more. I don’t want a win-more card. I hate you.

As far as removal, we’re… Okay. Galvanic Arc has become increasingly conditional in a format plastered with Last Gasps, Douse In Glooms, and Repeals. It’s still good, but not as good (even if it works well with the Fencer’s Magemark). And Rain of Embers? Maindeckable? Maybe.

Black:
This is some decent black, filled with decent creatures and good removal.

I have grown to adore the Thoughtpicker Witch, since she’s basically a low-grade Lurking Informant. I mean, I always thought she was decent… But as time has gone by, the cost of “1: sacrifice a creature you were going to lose anyway, screw your opponent’s next draw” seems horrifically cheap. Not to mention that she fizzles lifegain from Ferretts, Ribbons, and Douses.

And she works well with Savra, you say? Well, of course she does. The problem is that I’ve played the Savra/Thoughtpicker combo before, and it doesn’t work as well as you might think. It requires a third element — some form of unhindered token generation — and its fairly rare that you can keep all three on the table at once. When it works, it’s a charm, but don’t bet the house on it. Usually, you just gain a life or two, or manage to force a Diabolic Edict effect before your opponent finds some way to neutralize it.

Daggerclaw Imp, too, has been rising on my list of loves. She’s no good against White or Blue, of course, but against Green and Red she’ll race almost anything they have to offer.

Blue:
As always, Blue has a lot of tricks but few creatures. Ethereal Usher is a brilliant late-game card, allowing you to slam your beefiest creature through for damage, and I’m sorry I underestimated it in the past. The Infilitrator’s Magemark, however, I have not underestimated; it’s vulnerable as an enchantment, of course, but it can get through for the big win.

A note on Tidewater Minion: good players remember that it untaps things, and take that into account upon the board. Bad players forget, sometimes letting that bounceland go untapped and leaving them vulnerable. Don’t be a bad player.

I played with Vertigo Spawn, and the jury’s still out. At 0/3, it’s frequently not big enough to survive the tussle with whatever you don’t want to hit you twice. (I mean, nine times out of ten, I can take a hit from a 2/2 without worrying.) I like the idea of it, but an extra point of toughness would make it golden.

Selesnya:
Okay, there’s some stuff that can pull me into a color. A lot of people underestimated Pollenbright Wings at first, but it really is quite good; wait until your opponent taps out, slap it on something cool, and then beat for a bunch of tokens. (I particularly enjoy it on a Glass Golem, which fits nicely into the curve.) Then again, am I telling you anything you don’t know?

I trust the pre-built combo of Selesnya Evangel and Hour of Reckoning will be obvious to you all. Congregation at Dawn, however, I’m not sold on… Well, I am in almost every card pool but this one, which a) doesn’t have a bunch of power creatures to fetch and b) would have difficulty hitting the double-Green power. When I cast Congregation at Dawn, I want to get a Tolsimir Wolfsblood, a Keening Banshee, and a piece of beef. Still, Dawning for Borborygmos would be nice.

Boros:
Where’s my Rally the Righteous? My Lightning Helix? Two creatures are okay, but not worth the effort.

Orzhov:
Yes.

Golgari:
The Guildmage is, as always, a welcome addition. Savra, I’ve discussed earlier.

Izzet:
The Djinn Illuminatus is just taunting me. See, the best instants are in White, but if we go Red/White/Blue then we miss out on the power of Hour and all that luscious token generation. If we go Red/Blue/Black, we can Douse in Gloom it up, but anything else is pushing it.

Leap of Flame always sounds good, but I’ve found in this three-color format, it’s hard to Replicate it more than once. The dual-mana requirements are just a bit steep, which doesn’t mean it’s not a good one-off.

Okay, looking at this pool we have what I see as four legitimate ways to go:

White/Black with a splash of Green, which gives us the best of two powerful colors at the cost of few creatures to work with;
Blue/Black/Red, which has some cool tricks but leaves us trying to sail to victory on the backs of tiny creatures;
Red/Blue splash Green, which gives us Borborygmos.
White/Blue/Black, which gives us a lot of options.

Now, I usually try to play out the potential decks to see how they work in real life, but I have limited time to work with. Thus, I tried out the two I saw as the most legitimate — R/U/g and W/B/g.

Here’s the R/U/g deck:

1 Battering Wurm
1 Bloodscale Prowler
1 Borborygmos
1 Compulsive Research
1 Dimir Aqueduct
1 Djinn Illuminatus
1 Drift of Phantasms
1 Ethereal Usher
1 Fencer’s Magemark
4 Forest
1 Galvanic Arc
1 Ghor-Clan Bloodscale
1 Infiltrator’s Magemark
5 Island
1 Izzet Boilerworks
1 Izzet Signet
5 Mountain
1 Peel from Reality
1 Streetbreaker Wurm
1 Surveilling Sprite
1 Terrarion
1 Tidewater Minion
1 Tin Street Hooligan
1 Torch Drake
1 Train of Thought
1 Vertigo Spawn
1 War-Torch Goblin
1 Wee Dragonauts
1 Wild Cantor

I went an abysmal 1-3 with this deck, partially because this deck cannot handle fat. “But Ferrett,” you say, “It has Streetbreaker Wurm and Borborygmos and Ethereal Usher! It must be good!”

The problem is that if you look at what we have to work with, there are no instants that can help you win in combat aside from Peel from Reality. My opponents, on the other hand, seemed to be excreting Gather Courages and Wildsizes like they’d been eating Mexican for a week. What that left me with were a bunch of x/2s that crumpled under the assault of a single 3/3 with a boost effect. By the time the big guys finally arrived to save the day, I was usually on the back foot… And that’s not where an aggressive deck wants to be. (Plus, usually they’d been saving their Disembowels and Ribbons for the big targets, so they were often DOA.)

When I won a game, I usually won it with Usher+ Streetbreaker. That’s a nice combo. But this deck felt very underpowered, and I lost twice to a Stratozeppelid that I could not answer.

Should I have played Leap of Flame over, say, one of the Magemarks? Maybe. I don’t know that it would have helped, and they never arrived when I sideboarded them in.

Incidentally, I never had a problem casting Borborygmos when he arrived. Just save the Terrarion. It could have been a problem, but it wasn’t.

The W/B/g deck, however, did a little better. Take a look:

1 Absolver Thrull
1 Battering Wurm
1 Daggerclaw Imp
2 Devouring Light
1 Dimir Aqueduct
1 Dimir House Guard
1 Douse in Gloom
1 Droning Bureaucrats
1 Faith’s Fetters
4 Forest
1 Glass Golem
1 Golgari Guildmage
1 Hour of Reckoning
1 Mortify
1 Mortipede
1 Netherborn Phalanx
7 Plains
1 Pollenbright Wings
1 Ribbons of Night
1 Savra, Queen of the Golgari
1 Seeds of Strength
1 Selesnya Evangel
1 Strands of Undeath
5 Swamp
1 Terrarion
1 Thoughtpicker Witch

This deck did better, going 5-3 in random matches… Which sounds terrible, and it is, but I also got land-screwed with this deck more than any other deck I’ve had. Five times, I kept three-land hands and never drew another. That was hard to come back from, especially in a mana-hungry deck, and I didn’t.

It’s not all bad luck, however, since my initial configuration of this mana base was wrong. The mana base you see above is correct, and it’s when I started to pull out wins on a regular basis, but before that I had six plains and six swamps since there were an equal number of mana symbols. That’s blatantly wrong, since your best spells involve double-White mana, and you don’t have enough White creatures here to guarantee Convoking. I lost a fair share of games when I was desperately trying to walk my opponent into an Hour of Reckoning, and yet couldn’t draw the third White mana to (quite literally) save my life. Whereas all my Black (save for the Guildmage) is a single-Black, and you have the bounceland to help.

Don’t piss off the Mana Gods.

The creature count in this was still lower than I’d like, however — when I lost, it was usually to a deck with heavy removal and when I won it wasn’t against the best opponents. (It took one of my opponents several tries before he realized that a Fettered Gleancrawler and a Thoughtpicker Witch still worked quite nicely, and he seemed to stumble upon it by mistake.) I could neutralize their creatures, but I often couldn’t protect my own.

The last card cut was Withstand, which given how critical the few creatures you have are, arguably has a place here. But you can’t cut a creature, and I’m not sure what other instant I’d cut.

Now, that still leaves us with Blue/Black/Red, which might have worked… but I suspect that you’d still have the issue of not being able to answer opposing beef. White/Blue/Black, on the other hand, I would have liked to play — even though there are no good Gold cards to use here, there’s a lot of power. Maybe I’ll experiment some time over the next week.

Signing off,
The Ferrett
TheFerrett@StarCityGames.com
The Here Edits This Here Site Here Guy

* – Incidentally, Ken Krouner seemed to think that since I said the pros do not play for us, I must believe that the pros do not love to play the game. This is not true. I myself love to play Magic Online, but a camera pointed at me would reveal nothing more than a man clicking and occasionally grimacing. There is a huge difference between playing to entertain an audience and playing to entertain oneself — and if the Magic Invitational is supposed to represent the love of the game, it can’t be expressed via internal love.

You gotta have players who shout and yell and jump around, going “Whoopee!” I love Kai, but he’s German. Germans are physically incapable of going “Whoopee!” though this is partially made up for by their dazzlingly Teutonic grins.

If you disagree, send me a video of a German going “Whoopee!” You’ll see how fake it looks. It’s like a white guy trying to do the “Can I get a whoop whoop?” thing; no matter how hard they try, it looks either fake or ironic. Thus, when you think Kai, you do not think “Whoopee.”

Creatures (40)

Lands (3)

Spells (32)