1. And Timmy did tappeth his Green mana, bringing forth creature after creature, each increasing in girth and dimension, and Spike did look on and weep.
2. And Spike did see his life-total dwindle from a heavenly twenty to a hellish zero.
3. And yea did Timmy win the game and match, and the Sacred Slip was signed.
4. Lo, Timmy and Spike did shake hands in friendship, but Spike was much afeard, as Timmy did knock him out of Top Eight contention.
5. Spike did rail at the world, and gnash his teeth, and vent his spleen, but no good did come of this Emo whining.
6. And Spike did crash and Spike did burn, and there was much rejoicing.
Chapter 4, Verses 1-6 of the Book of Wakefield
The Gospel According to MaRo.
I think we can safely agree that Magic: the Gathering is the Best Game in the World. Sure, there are problems – manascrew is a curse, for example – and there may be times our interest wanes as the blocks and formats whiz past like Northern bullets… but when the chips are down and the dice is loaded, there’s nothing that can beat it.
I think it’s also safe to assume that we all want to improve. After all, we visit StarCityGames.com for play-tips with an alarming regularity, sometimes two or three times an hour if work is particularly flaccid. There is advice to be had, be it free or premium… but what do you believe and what do you ignore?
For me, it’s simple. If you’re ever in doubt ask yourself this:
WWMD?
What Would MaRo Do?
In Magic, Sin is everywhere. Luckily, MaRo is there to guide us. When pressed, we can consult the Good Book and learn how to spot the signs and dodge the badgers.
We are gathered here today, Magical Brethren, to discuss the Wages of Sin. As we know (if we study our Pitt), there are Se7en Deadly Sins. Our task could not be clearer: examine each sin with reference and relevance to Magic: The Gathering. Thus, we will learn, and improve.
Turn, if you will, to your well-thumbed copy of the Gospel According to MaRo. I’ll be referencing it throughout today’s sermon. Pay attention, I may ask questions later.
Sloth.
1. And Lo, did Spike view the PTQ with a lazy eye.
2. He quoth: “I’m a mad l337 pl4y4, what need have I for preparation and practice?”
3. Thus Spike wassailed and caroused the night away, partaking of mead and attempting to lie with wenches.
4. Yea, when Spike did attend the PTQ sporting a hangover most grim, he was handed his arse on a plate round after round, thus finishing 0-3-drop.
5. And there was much rejoicing.
Chapter 2, Verses 1-5 of the Book of Osyp
The Gospel According to MaRo
We start with arguably the most prevalent sin among the deadly seven: sloth. Aside from being a cast-member of the Goonies, sloth is defined as “the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.” So, basically, it’s laziness. In fact, as it has three fewer letters than “laziness,” we can see that sloth is in fact laziness for the lazy.
In the realm of Magical cards sloth translates into many examples. Perhaps the most telling, at least for those looking to improve their game in substantial increments, is the active avoidance of practice. Sure, we all say we’ve thrown our deck against all twenty of the tier one offerings at least 100 times each both pre and post boarding… but let’s face facts… we don’t actually do it. We may play a few matches here and there in order to obtain a general overview, or we may crank up Apprentice and attack the goldfish, but actual games against real-life opposition? Not so many.
Of course, it’s quality rather than quantity of testing… for example, let’s take the recent Kamigawa Block season. Testing the White Weenie mirror-match seems simple enough, with each game lasting anything from two to three minutes. The Gifts mirror, however, became the “cricket” of the block, with each game lasting up to five days and generally resulting in a draw. Under these circumstances, it’s easy to see why sloth can creep in. To improve, one must batten down the metaphorical hatches and put in those hours. One must play through the pain barrier and endure those hard-to-stomach matchups rather than concentrating on the easier “fun” games. Harsh, I know, but true.
Aside from more practice (and by extension more study – read those web-sites, people!), what else can we do to banish sloth from our games? We can sharpen our focus on tournament preparation, that’s what! An off-shoot of the Flores-penned Operations Management, comprehensive tournament preparation will translate into percentage points in the long run. We all know that we should get a good night’s sleep before the big day, but how many of us actually do?
While by no means a comprehensive list, here are some more ideas on this issue:
- Make sure your deck is ready for action the night before the event. Write up your deck-list if required.
- Gather together a pen, paper, a dice and some counters too. Also, polish your trade binder if you’re that way inclined (if you’re having fun during the day, you’ll play better).
- Eat a decent breakfast before setting off, and take along some food and drink (especially if you’re unsure of the venue facilities).
- Plan your route to the venue beforehand. If you rely on others for transport, make sure you have their contact details (and a set of back-up directions, just in case).
These are all simple things, and therefore relatively easy to overlook. With adequate preparation, you’ll set yourself up into the perfect frame of mind, freeing yourself from the mundane that can pull focus and cause sloppy play.
And finally, on the subject of play… don’t be lazy. Read the f**king cards! Countless games are lost through basic errors in comprehension.
“Oooh, I forgot that guy had Bushido.”
“He pumps blockers and attackers? Who knew!”
“How big is he? Jesus! That’s me dead, then.”
Concentrate and cogitate. Keep your mind on the job. By banishing such slothful approaches, you’ll win more matches guaranteed.
Greed.
1. And Spike did sit with seven good men in order to draft the Magical cards.
2. With scrubs to the left and scrubs to the right, Spike was overrun with tasty options.
3. Thus Spike did feast upon precious removal, acquiring red and black spells aplenty.
4. Time did pass and Deck Construction did commence, at which juncture Spike learnt a terrible truth.
5. Spike had drafted NO creatures, and thus he was battered by Timmy and his deck of Numai Outcasts.
6. And there was much rejoicing.
Chapter 12, Verses 1-6 of the Book of Eisel
The Gospel According to MaRo
Next, we move onto greed. Greed is defined as “the desire for material wealth or gain.” Immediately, we can see how rampant this can be amongst the higher echelons of the Magical hierarchy. Anyone who dreams about winning the Pro Tour can be accused of the Sin of Greed. Still, take heart, as it’s obvious that those quitting this wonderful game for the ephemeral promise of millions won at the poker table are much more blatant sinners than our good selves.
Greed can be a confusing concept, often being mistaken for the Sin of Gluttony (which we will address later). In what way can we banish greed from our Magic philosophy?
When I started out in this fair game so many moons ago, I decided to set myself one yearly goal. One overriding ambition by which I measured my progress throughout the seasons. My first goal was to win “Donny,” a local Type Two tournament held once a month in the town of Doncatser with an attendance of between forty and sixty (and a £50 first prize). It took me six months to achieve. My year was a success.
The following year, my goal was to qualify for English Nationals. I did so, and also made the Top 8 of my first Grand Prix tournament (thus qualifying me for my first Pro Tour, in which I placed 30th). My year was a resounding success.
Before you accuse me of the Sin of Vanity (which we will come to in good time), I must add that it’s all been downhill from there.
My point is a simple one: by setting myself such goals, I effectively challenged myself to improve. However, as the first year clearly states, I did not get greedy after my first Donny win and declaim “look at me, I shall win six Pro-Tours this year!” No, my goals were important yet modest. They were benchmarks, but with a concerted effort they were achievable. I suggest that you realistically gauge your level, and set yourself such targets for the coming year. Thus, if you hit the mark you can go home happy, and if you over-reach the goal you’re a sure-fire winner.
Moving on to actual game strategy, greed can be especially dangerous in Limited play. You crack open your Sealed pool to see Kumano, Kokusho and Uyo? All double colored bombs that can win games on their own… but grouping all three in a single deck could well see you die from mana-issues. It’s important to avoid greed in such situations. Try to limit splash colors to a minimum; justify the inclusion of each card in your deck; avoid the convoluted three-card Limited combo. Give yourself the best chance by keeping your deck streamlined and sleek. After all, greed only makes you fat.
When drafting, it’s also important to keep an eye on your deck when evaluating cards. There will be occasions when the best pick in your colors is not necessarily the best card for your deck. Say you’re playing Red/Black and have picked up quality removal spells thus far. However, you’ve very few creatures… so maybe the Takenuma Bleeder is better than the second Horobi’s Whisper this time. It’s all about focus and relative strength. If you simply hoover up the removal and rely on Skullsnatcher beatdown, you’ll find yourself sent to the dirty tables by Shimmering Glasskites and Hands of Honor all day long.
Beware of greed as you enter the last pack of the draft, too. Generally, it’s not worth splashing for that Celestial Kirin or that Kagemaro. However, the question of whether or not to rare-grab is between you, your wallet and your conscience.
Finally, it goes without saying that one should avoid being greedy when trading with kiddies. I don’t care if you can get three Pithing Needles for your Iname As One from some ten-year old moon-faced juvenile, because if you rip him off you’ll make God’s sh*t-list. Make a profit, by all means, but don’t fleece the poor lad. Throw in a fistful of fifty-pee rares or some nice foil cards… stuff you’ll never trade away to the tourney crowd but that will make the lad feel happy. Believe me, you’ll sleep like a baby if you do.
Wrath.
1. Yea, Spike did swing with men, reducing Timmy’s life-total to three.
2. Spike did summon another creature, safe on ten life against a cardless Timmy, knowing that one more attack would seal the match 2-1.
3. Timmy did draw his card, tap all his land and cast Urza’s Rage with kicker targeting Spike.
4. And Lo, the red mist did descend to blind Spike, and his vengeance was violent to behold.
5. When the tables were fixed and the blood mopped away, Spike did receive a lifetime ban for Unsporting Conduct, Arguing with Officials, and Stabbing.
6. And there was much rejoicing.
Chapter 9, Verses 1-6 of the Book of Schneider
The Gospel According to MaRo
Wrath, or anger, is defined thusly: “manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury.” Wrath is a common occurrence whenever two people battle it out in any contest involving luck. One person will be lucky and win, while one person will be unlucky and lose. Under such circumstances, it is not often you’ll hear a match being won on something as ludicrous as skill.
During a tournament, all manner of things can go wrong. Hell, the horror can commence before the event begins. Your pen may leak in your bag, for example. You may miss your bus to the venue, or leave your cool new deck-sleeves on the kitchen table. As for actual play… you may receive the slackest Sealed Deck pool in the history of the game, or face the current National champion in round one.
Matchups can go against you; opponents can luck-sack their victories; you may make deck registration errors, and have judges make bad calls against you. Hell, your cards may be stolen by Bosnian midgets for all I know. Whatever happens, it’s important to keep such things in proportion, and not explode in an impotent fury.
Yes, thing can (and will) go wrong, but the proverbial sh*t does, proverbially, happen. Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things. There’s simply no point in lashing out with no warning. Before you take your opponent out for a meal with Mr. and Mrs. Pain and order up some violent quiche, you’d be wise to take a deep breath and look at the kitten picture. The one on the left is Phillip. Look at his eyes.
Keep it cool, keep it calm. Keep things in perspective, and keep Magic fun.
Of course, there is a thin difference between letting things slide and getting trodden upon. In no way do I condone letting yourself be used as a doormat, unless this is a latent fetish you wish to explore in private. If your opponent top-decks the victory from out of nowhere, take the defeat with good humor. However, if he is rude and obnoxious and intimidating, calmly take steps to rectify this. Don’t punch him in the face: that’s a mug’s game. Simply call a judge and let him handle things. That’s why the zebras are there, after all.
When playing, it is important to keep your wrath under control. If you’re the beatdown, facing the evils of Blue/White, and your opponent plays his third successive Wrath of God to decimate your team, do not resort with your own “Wrath of Spod” and throw your toys out of the pram. Simply grimace and regroup. Nothing comes of playing Magic with an angry face. Avoid playing “on tilt”, as those giants you see are probably no more than windmills.
There is no place in Magic for wrath, unless it’s a board-sweeping sorcery for 2ww.
Gluttony.
1. And Yea did Spike view the game-state with a happy smile.
2. Timmy sat at two life, the victim of mana-flood, while Spike did lounge at twenty with much burn in hand.
3. But Lo, the Path of Overkill did sing to Spike, beckoning him to danger.
4. Spike did choose to forgo the easy win in order to construct a complex combo victory primed for the following turn, tapping himself out in the process.
5. Thus Timmy did resolve Biorhythm and swung for lethal damage, ending the game and extending the hand.
6. And there was much rejoicing.
Chapter 20, Verses 1-6 of the Book of Wise
The Gospel According to MaRo
Gluttony, defined as “an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires,” is easily confused with the Sin of Greed. On closer inspection, it is clear that there is a distinct difference in the two. While greed shines the spotlight on the long-term acquisition of success, wealth and power, the Sin of Gluttony is much more immediate and visceral.
The greedy man will hoard things, while the glutton will devour them.
Translating this to the realms of Magic, we can learn practical lessons by examining the cause and effects of gluttony.
The glutton, in general, likes things big, bold and brassy. He will never be content with a single cake: he’ll gorge on them until they are gone, indigestion be damned. Consider, then, the glutton in charge of a beatdown deck. While he may have the necessary rampant recklessness or bravado to pilot such a deck in a mirror-match, when faced with a more ponderous control player the wheels will fall from his wagon.
Turn 1, make a guy; turn 2, make a guy; turn 3, make two guys; turn 4, make all the guys.
Wrath of God, you say? Scoop.
Gluttony leads down the Path of Overkill. Your opponent is on ten, and you can do five damage a turn with the guys on the board? The wise man holds back the 3/3 in his hand. The glutton says “cast him anyway, mass removal be damned!”
Similarly, the control-loving glutton will shoot his bolt long before he’s got the upper hand…
Llanowar Elf? Mana Leak!
Ravenous Rats? Hinder!
Birds of Paradise? Rewind!
Distress? Discombobulate!
Kokusho? … … … … Sure.
Be it control or beatdown, one must temper one’s game-plan with restraint. Without restraint, how can one conserve one’s resources for the long game?
The Path of Overkill has many forks and branches, each more perilous than the last. The danger presented by the Super-Cool Win is especially treacherous.
Your opponent is tapped out on two life with no cards in hand?
The wise man casts Shock and extends the hand.
The glutton taps out for The Unspeakable! He’ll win next turn for sure!
NB: This almost happened to me at the Champions prerelease. Opponent on three after my attack, one card in hand, some guys. Me on twenty, holding Yamabushi’s Flame and The Unspeakable (heh). The temptation to tap out for that bad boy was incredible. Luckily I simply passed the turn, and was able to kill him in response to his unexpected Reverse the Sands. Yoinks!
When given the option, show no mercy. Don’t fall prey to gluttony and attempt the Flash-Bang-Wallop finish. If he’s on two and you draw the Shock, send it to the dome.
In Limited Magic, Gluttony can also lead to drafts and deck construction that lean to the top-heavy end of the Mana mountain. The glutton is not content with simple 2/2s for two and 3/3s for three. The more eight-mana monsters, the better!
Gluttons are fat. Thousand-Legged Kamis are fat. It’s a match made in Heaven.
Tighten the belt, discard the donut. Throw away the wobbly monsters.
Do the professional thing, and just win.
Envy.
1. And Spike did survey the board, and Lo the sight was grim.
2. Timmy was one-nil up, with creature superiority, more cards in hand and a higher life-total.
3. Things did look bleak for Spike: his arse did go and his head did drop.
4. Envious of Timmy’s position, Spike did become sloppy in play and slipshod in attitude.
5. Thus Spike did miss several opportunities to gain advantage, eventually losing the game despite having a fair chance of victory.
6. And there was much rejoicing.
Chapter 7, Verses 1-6 of the Book of Aten
The Gospel According to MaRo
Envy, defined as “the desire for others’ traits, status, abilities, or situation,” infiltrates Magic on numerous levels. We can envy the analytical prowess of Zvi, the natural talent of Johnny Magic, the sexual athleticism of Osyp… but all things considered, envy can be damaging to our progress towards expert spell-slinging. It can hard to concentrate with the wormy black maggots of jealousy gnawing away at our insides.
On a practical level, one should never envy an opponent’s luck. As I’ve mentioned, it is hard to keep the emotions in check when faced with problems beyond our control. While it’s unadvisable to succumb to wrath when lucked-out of a match, it is just as important to avoid vocalizing your envy. Succumbing to Wrath this way can lead to physical peril: succumbing to envy leads to mental strain.
For a start, whining like an Uber-Emo Idiot achieves just one thing. It makes you look foolish. To the casual observer, it cheapens both the sniveler and the game itself. And anything that presents Magic in a less-than-savory light should be avoided.
“Yeah, nice pull, Bozo. Better lucky than good, eh?”
“It must be great to have such bombs to work with, man.”
“Geez, I hate this matchup! Three stinkers in a row!”
“Why can’t I play n00bs? All my pals are!”
Whine, whine, whine.
Cheap, cheap, cheap.
Grow up and suck it up, fella.
So, on the surface it seems that petulant displays of envy achieve nothing but derision. If we dig a little deeper, however, we can see that such outbursts are actively destructive to success.
We’ve all been there…
You think the game is in the bag, when boom! The bomb hits from nowhere, and your head drops…
You pilot a red deck and face maindeck CoP: Red in each round, while your roadtrip-buddy burns his way to the final…
You keep a four-spell three-land hand, and stall. Your opponent keeps a one-lander yet has all five land-types out on turn 4…
When our opponent can do no wrong, what’s the point in playing?
Some guys get all the luck, the complaints go. And when the complaints get going, the concentration is quick to follow. In order to excel, one must ignore the emotional charge that stems from envy. When dwelling on what-might-have-been, we are in no position to adequately focus on what-actually-is. Unless we can concentrate on present threats, and handle them without being engulfed in an emotive fog, the game is lost for sure.
One more thing: envy at its most basic can see the sinner yearn to obtain all the jewels in the box. Not content with controlling their own permanents, such envious folk resort to Rancid Blue in order to wrest control of everyone’s fun and quash their own pangs of jealousy. Cards such as Confiscate, Bribery, Acquire or Steal Artifact are to be avoided, folks. They stink of resentment.
Please, whatever you do… don’t give in to Evil.
Lust.
1. And Spike did love his mono-red burn deck, as it did trouble the major archetypes of the format.
2. Yea, Spike did christen his deck “Spike Red” and attempted to have the deck’s babies, though sadly this did fail.
3. Time did pass, and the metagame did shift, weakening “Spike Red” to a mere support role.
4. But Lo, Spike did ignore the portents, so blind was he in love with his own creativity.
5. Thus, when Spike did play “Spike Red” to a 0-3 performance at a high-profile tournament, no-one did bat an eyelid.
6. Spike did not shirk, as he still did love “Spike Red” and did continue to sing its praises to anyone close enough to hear.
7. And there was no rejoicing.
Chapter 14, Verses 1-7 of the Book of Flores
The Gospel According to MaRo
Ah, lust. If we’re honest, this is everyone’s favorite sin. But lust… at a Magic tournament? Some mistake, surely! How can you lust after anyone at a tournament when 95% of the participants both look and smell like Play-Doh?
Of course, I am not talking of the more baser, carnal lusts here. There is something deeply wrong in having your primal urges surface over patterned cardboard rectangles. Although a close friend of mine admits to feeling rather giddy whenever he draws Akroma.
So how does the Sin of Lust affect our Magic play? The definition of lust is as follows: “an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.” Frankly, this is no use to us. However, if we expand the definition to read “an inordinate craving for unhealthy pleasures of any kind,” then we’re officially cookin’ with gas.
There are a number of pleasures in our fair game that can be described as unhealthy. For starters, there is the pleasure one takes from creating a successful deck. If, for example, we create a PTQ-winning behemoth, it’s all to easy to wave at the world screaming “see that? I made that!”
It’s a natural temptation, and there’s nothing wrong with spending some precious moments in the sun. But if you become too attached to your creation, and disregard the obvious frailties that will inevitably be revealed in a modern shifting metagame, you can appear blinkered and unresponsive. Last week’s tech just doesn’t win tourneys.
At the other end of the scale, we have the Lust for deck creation that is doomed from the start. I myself fell perilously in love with a pet deck of mine during Invasion standard. It involved the fringe discard staple Megrim and the utterly ridiculous Urza’s Guilt. Having my opponent lose ten life on turn 4 seemed the value, I can tell you.
I had very high hopes for my deck. I called it “Urza’s Quilt.”
Unfortunately for all involved, the deck proved to be complete and utter bobbins.
I carried on development regardless, and was almost grimly relieved when Planeshift rotated out. My development of the Quilt wasted valuable energy.
Of course, I was younger then. It was an innocent time. I needed the money.
*ahem*
The lesson I learnt? Sometimes things just don’t work.
From lusting for decks, we now move onto lusting for cards. While this is functionally similar to deck-lust in development, it is radically different on the battlefield itself. For example, I’m sure everyone has played a game which included a counterspell or removal fight over a particular creature or card. Pernicious Deed, maybe, or Meloku. We’ve all been at the receiving end of kickings administered by said cards, I’m sure… so when they are cast, the prudent player must do everything in their power to remove them from the equation.
Right?
Not always.
We all formulate strong opinions over certain cards. We value some, and neglect others. In play, it is vital that we don’t judge the cards against their historical place. Rather, we must judge cards on their current potency in the present game state. It is too easy to have a knee-jerk reaction, for example, when Meloku hits the opposite side of the board on turn 5. Your heart screams “counterspell,” as the flying fop can turn a game in a second… but what if you have a Boomerang? Or a Pithing Needle? Or a Night of Soul’s Betrayal? Mr. Meloku suddenly doesn’t look so clever.
Evaluate according to current strength, not historical strength. Don’t overvalue anything. Such lusting leads to mistakes, because sometimes Meloku is nothing more than an Azure Drake.
Another danger of inappropriate lusts is the Pre-Tourney Itch. If our preparation and practice has been good, we have a deck and sideboard we’re happy with. Sure, our play may have grown a little dull through repetition, but this is the price you pay. We arrive at the venue and hook up with some friends. Inevitably, deck comparisons are made. And, also inevitably, someone will chime up with this:
“Duuuuuude! I have the perfect sideboard card for you!”
or
“You’re playing the Goons main? Put ’em in the board, run with Piledrivers!”
And of course, we’re tempted. We lust for innovation, for fresh ideas, for sparks of creativity. But it is wrong wrong wrong. On all levels.
You’ve practiced and practiced, and made your decisions. Have some bloody faith in the conclusions you’ve drawn.
Don’t be lured into the sordid brothel of the Last-Minute Change.
You’ll have five minutes of sloppy fun, and go home as a loser with various body parts stinging.
Vanity.
1. And Spike did win a Pro-Tour with a balance of skill, dedication and fair fortune.
2. Lo, did Spike’s head expand to monst’rous size.
3. Quoth Spike: “I am the greatest thing in all of Magic: there is nothing that can stop me now!”
4. But Yea, we know that Pride Cometh Before a Fall, and Spike’s fall was long and hard.
5. Spike did fare badly at a subsequent event, and did blame his losses on ill-fortune and idiots, never once questioning his own part in his downfall.
6. The World did look on without pity… and there was much rejoicing.
Verses 1-6 of the Writings of the Angel Gadiel
The Gospel According to MaRo
We end the sermon today on the sin that spawns all others… the Sin of Vanity. Vanity goes by many names, arrogance, narcissism, conceit, ostentation, smugness, egotism, pretension… All defined as “excessive belief in one’s own abilities.”
It’s easy to see where I’m going with this.
Vanity is a modern blight on Magic. One can argue that the Sin of Sloth is the Daddy of our particular playground in that it causes the most harm to our progress, but the Sin of Vanity is leagues ahead of the rest in sheer volume. And vanity can be poisonous if left unchecked.
On a public level, the Sin of Vanity leads us to appear childish, petulant, rude and foolish.
On a private level, the Sin of Vanity leads us down dark paths to face unexpected beatings, with all the negative baggage that produces.
I’m not suggesting for a moment that a healthy self-belief is a damaging trait. Some of our game’s leading lights possess focus and determination of welding-torch intensity. In order to be the very best, one must have conviction… but if that conviction becomes inflated by hype, and one starts believing the rumors, then the downfall will be swift.
Coping with self-belief and avoiding excessive vanity is achieved in a number of ways:
- Win, lose or draw, it is extremely bad form to publicly belittle your opponent. If they were friendly and fun to play but terrible at Magic, then it’s common courtesy to gloss over certain aspect and accentuate the positive. Offer constructive criticism, praise them for their temperament and spirit, but don’t point at them and bellow “STFU n00b.” Of course, if your opponent is an offensive arsehole who makes the game of Magic a tedious chore, then they deserve anything they get: knock yourselves out.
- You may consider yourself to be Kai Budde, or John Finkel. Sadly, there are only a limited amount of Kai Budde and John Finkels in this world, and only one of each is outstanding at Magic. I don’t care if you’ve won a bloody Pro-Tour, there are still things to learn. When receiving advice, listen with respect and then present your counter-arguments. Frankly, this is something everyone should learn, not just we who play with cards. Similarly, do not be too proud to ask for advice. Gems of tech can spring from the most unusual places.
- When giving advice, be courteous and constructive. Your arrogance may scream that you’re casting pearls before swine, but we all started somewhere and we all have opinions. For example, instead of simply declaring that life-gain is weak because “only idiots play Nourish,” take the time to demonstrate by example. While I do not agree with all his conclusions, Grant Babcock wrote a fine article which demonstrates such a process.
To conclude, I must make a surprising plea. While I thing we can agree that the Sin of Vanity is largely abhorrent, I urge some of the, shall we say, riper members of the Magic community to demonstrate a little vanity now and again. There’s no sin in having pride in one’s appearance, or personal hygiene.
I’m talking to you, Play-Doh Boy.
…
Thus endeth today’s lesson on the Wages of Sin. While rather lengthy, I hope you found it held some insightful comments.
For those who took one look at the article length and thought “bugger that”, I present you with a crib-sheet. Those who took the time to read it… look on this as a handy re-cap.
Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work.
To combat sloth, I present the following advice:
- Practice, practice, practice.
- Make sure preparation is complete regarding travel, food, sleep, deck-list etc.
- In the game, concentrate and cogitate.
Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain.
To combat greed, I present the following advice:
- Set yourself realistic goals, and work toward them.
- In Limited, draft the best card for your deck, not the best in the pack.
- Be appropriate and approachable in all trading: don’t scam the kiddies.
Wrath is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury.
To combat wrath, I present the following advice:
- If the game, match or day is going badly, chill out! It’s only a game.
- If your opponent talks trash or cheats, calmly take appropriate measures.
- Keep calm under pressure, and ensure all actions are governed with a cool head.
Gluttony is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires.
To combat gluttony, I present the following advice:
- Concentrate on the Simple Win, rather than the Flash-Bang-Wallop.
- Do not over-extend when playing beatdown/devour your resources when playing control
- In Limited, do not go mad on the 8cc guys.
Envy is the desire for others’ traits, status, abilities, or situation.
To combat envy, I present the following advice:
- If the situation looks bleak, do not let your head drop.
- Do not envy the luck of your opponent: it makes you look cheap.
- Do not envy your opponent’s card pool: if he has the bombs, beat him anyway.
- Avoid playing evil cards like Confiscate, Bribery, Acquire or Steal Artifact.
Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body.
To combat lust, I present the following advice:
- If you’re well prepared, do not make last-minute deck or card changes.
- Do not “fall in love” with a deck idea or choice: if it doesn’t work, bin it!
- Do not overvalue a threat on either side: sometimes Meloku is just a chump blocker.
Vanity is excessive belief in one’s own abilities.
To combat vanity, I present the following advice:
- Do not belittle your opponent or over-inflate your own skill-level.
- Do not be too proud to ask for advice, and take heed when it is offered.
- When offering advice, be respectful and constructive.
CAVEAT: Have a little pride in your appearance.
To draw a veil over the proceedings, I’ll leave you with a final excerpt from our Holy Book.
1. And Spike did click “refresh,” re-loading the hallowed texts of StarCityGames.com.
2. Spike did read the new article by Craig Stevenson, the cheeky Scouse ragamuffin that does sport a bald head and glasses.
3. Verily did Spike disagree with the words contained therein, thus Spike did charge to the Fabled Forums to make his complaints known.
4. There Spike did join forces with Timmy, and Johnny, and Randy, and Kai, and everyone else who’s ever picked up a Magical card at any point in their life.
5. Yea, the Anti-Scouse Collective did deride the works of Craig Stevenson, driving him into hiding weighted with the deepest of doldrums and depression.
6. Lo, he did cease to contaminate the net with his scurrilous filth… and there was much, MUCH rejoicing.
Chapter 85, Verses 1-6 of the Book of Scouse
The Gospel According to MaRo
Go in peace, my children.
Until next time,
Thanks for listening.
Craig Stevenson
[email protected]
Scouseboy on MTGO
P.S.: any resemblance to folk living or dead is meant in good humor. I love you all, I really do.