– Draw a card. Play all the cards in your hand that you can. Attack. Done.
– Brainstorm main phase and Tim you for one.
– Giant Growth this guy, attack you.
– Dark Ritual, make 3 Swamp tokens, tap ’em for stuff…and I keep ’em forever.
Yes, the fun days. End of turn – what’s that? The stack – what the hell? It’s okay to admit it. The Newbie Phenomenon – where any card that costs more than seven must be GREAT!
Alas, those days are long gone… for me, at least. I’m happy to say that I have learned most of the stack stuff, timing, upkeep (and the abuses thereof), and the rest of the really, really boring stuff that makes a good player. And I suck more than ever.
I was brought up to believe that the more one learned about a particular endeavor, the better one became in said chosen endeavor. That’s the theory anyway… right, mom? Well, in my case, the opposite is true. How the heck did I get so friggin’ good at Magic, while simultaneously stinkin’ up any joint where I dared to show my face? See, we all start out at a 1600 rating. The theory is this: Get better, get more points. When you look at your rating and it is LESS than 1600, perhaps you suck. A lot. Like me.
Go to tourney. Make no mistakes. Play the best Magic I have ever played. Lose 80 points.
Go to tourney. Play against 6 Net Decks. Make a ton of mistakes. Play like crap. Gain 35 points. Neat.
Build Rogue deck. Beat opponents bloody on Apprentice. Go to tourney. Lose to "This is my first tournament" guys, twice. Neato.
So I watch my opponents:
Opponent 1: Draw, play land, cast two creatures, attack with all the wrong guys, pump up the wrong guys, done.
Opponent 2: Try to regenerate a Chilling Apparition that had Steal
Strength played on it. Then try to regenerate it from the graveyard during his attack phase later in the game.
Opponent 3: After blockers are declared, use my Opposition to tap your guy, which makes his block illegal.
And I lose. To these guys. Therefore, I must suck at Magic.
Frigginrizzo: <—-Sucks at Magic.
I read everything I can about the game. I practice WAY too much. I build the Net Decks to playtest against. I play a ton of Apprentice. I get better every day. But I continue sucking at Magic.
This may be the reason:
I read everything I can about the game. I practice WAY too much. I build the Net Decks to playtest against. I play a ton of Apprentice. I get better every day.
Wakefield was right. Screw the metagame.
Frigginrizzo: <—-Screws the metagame.
Since each hour I spend analyzing the metagame equates to roughly three to five lost rating points, I have hereby decided to screw the metagame. That means bulding a deck that’s cool to ME. Forget Waters. Forget Rebels. Mageta who? Forced what? In prepping for the August 5th and August 12th MBC Qualifiers, I have eliminated ALL thoughts and concerns for what others might be playing. I will prepare in a vacuum. Total tourney report blackout. How can I do worse than I already have?
Frigginrizzo: <—-Goes underground.
The way I figure, I keep guessing wrong. So I’ll eliminate the guesswork. Unless, of course, I’m just destined to be a scrub for life.
So I’ll bring my homemade pile to the Qualifiers, and see what happens. I’ll probably write a report on one or both events, regardless of outcomes, to let others attempt to, perhaps, cull some wisdom from my grand experiment. I’d ask you to wish me luck, but I used up all my luck that night the perfect 10 walked into the pool hall. Heh.
I need a cool close, still.
John Friggin’ Rizzo
The most underground Rogue on the net. Well, on AoL at least.