What the cards in your card pool will not be when you open them.
The part of the prize that you are not eligible for.
The part of the turn where your stuff gets tapped by Blinding Beam.
If you’ve kept a two-land hand, one of which is an artifact land, the card your opponent will play on the first turn.
As a PTQ player, something you very likely are.
The part of the prize that you don’t win.
1. A spell with the added text”Draw a card.”
2. What you say when you don’t draw what you need.
1. Magic theory that is the basis for most correct lines of play.
2. The reason that guy with triple Spikeshot Goblin is in the Top 8.
Choice Of Top 8 Rochester Draft Seats
The reason the 7-0 guy will refuse to draw with you.
1. The uncommon that beats you if you miss a land drop in any of the first six turns of the game.
2. The uncommon you almost never have in your deck.
3. The uncommon you don’t draw if you do have it.
1. What you should do to the decks of all of your opponents at a PTQ.
2. What you’ll want to do to the designer responsible for Loxodon Warhammer.
Declare Attackers Step
The part of the turn that happens immediately prior to your opponent casting Soul Nova.
Declare Blockers Step
The part of the turn that occurs immediately prior to your opponent casting Predator’s Strike.
1. The part of the turn where you fail to draw what you need.
2. The part of the turn where your opponent draws exactly what he or she needs.
What your first round opponent will do two rounds after beating you.
1. The card type that you don’t have enough of.
2. The card type that your opponent has tons of.
The guys you will play in rounds five and six, but only if you all have one loss at the time.
Grab The Reins
The uncommon that your opponent will have two of.
1. Something you will likely never be in position to take.
2. If you are in position, something your opponent will decline.
1. The guy you’ll call over when you plan to screw your opponent on the rules, but want to look like a nice guy.
2. The guy that will tell you that you misregistered your deck.
1. The type or permanent you don’t have enough of.
2. The type of permanent you have too much of.
1. A perfectly balanced card of elegant design, costed perfectly by R&D and assigned a rarity that does not, in any way, make it disruptive for Sealed Deck play. Games featuring Loxodon Warhammer are always decided by nothing but the skill of the two players involved. A fine card in all respects, and a testament to the abilities of the fine people in charge of making this game.
2. If you finish just outside of Top 8, the card that was likely responsible for 75% of your important losses.
1. The part of the turn where you get outplayed.
1. Something you do twice per game while playing for Top Eight.
2. Something you never do against any opponent of note.
The common you will have three of.
The card that you will topdeck when you have six creatures in play to your opponent’s none, but only if he has just used a Mindslaver on you. (This actually did happen to me at the PTQ. In Round 7.)
1. If you have a Spikeshot Goblin, the amount of Equipment you’ll have that will work with it.
2. If your opponent has Loxodon Warhammer, the number of artifact removal spells you will draw.
3. The amount of satisfaction you’ll take in paying $25 just to lose four times to the same uncommon.
4. The amount of respect you’ll have for R&D after #3.
1. What your opponent will draw to knock you out of Top 8 contention in Round 7.
2. What you will draw against the ten-year-old kid in Round 2.
1. The sheet of paper that tells you which of your friends you are playing.
2. The sheet of paper you get squashed between ten fat guys while trying to get to.
The card your opponent plays when he has no other outs.
What you’ll utter a lot of after playing against Loxodon Warhammer.
1. The reason for at least one of your game losses.
2. What you’ll have to contend with for the first 20% of the Deck Construction period.
1. The card that, while good on paper, doesn’t do much for you on the day.
2. The card that is always insane for your opponents when played against you.
Something that happens while you’re already on the way home.
1. The card you will draw when you have a piece of equipment out, and your opponent doesn’t.
2. The card you won’t draw when your opponent has Empyrial Plate.
What the 5-2 guy you got paired down with (at 5-1-1) will refuse to do on the fifth extra turn.
What your Asian opponents can always do faster and more dexterously than you.
1. Magic slang used to describe the decks of your opponents.
2. What you’ll become after taking one look at the venue’s only urinal.
The event you play in after Round 2.
The common your opponent will have three of.
The sheet of paper where you read the bad news.
Tempest of Light
The uncommon that you will have two of.
The reason you won’t make the cutoff for prizes.
The part of the turn that you proceed into too soon, forgetting any relevant end step effects. Also the part of the turn where you neglect to untap Goblin War Wagon and Goblin Dirigible.
The part of the turn where you forget to pay maintenance costs for your important permanents.