The Day The Magic Died

John”Friggin” Rizzo’s articles had a great impact on my life; so I created this as a way of paying him back, if even in a small way. I couldn’t think of a higher honor than altering the lyrics to one of the greatest tribute songs of all time -“American Pie,” by Don McLean.*

To discover or the song (or to better appreciate my tribute), the original lyrics can be viewed here.

A long, long time ago…

I can still remember how that Magic used to make me smile

And I knew if I had my chance

I could write amusing rants

And maybe we’d be happy for a while.

But Mid-April made me quiver

With every word, I would shiver

Bad news on Star City

The loss of someone witty

I can’t remember if I cried

Seeing literary suicide

But something touched me deep inside

The day the Magic died

So bye bye, little Friggin’ Bald Guy

You brought up issues, now we miss you

Friggin’ G-to-the-Y

And if I e-mail you, I know I’ll get a reply

Saying: Sorry, Chief, but this is goodbye

Sorry, Chief, but this is goodbye

Did you write the Book of Rogue

And demand ID’s go out of vogue

Though the Pros will tell you to

Now do you believe in talking smack

About the dead, netdeckers, and all that’s whack

And can you teach me how to love gangsta rap

Well I know you searched for Wakefield

But his very essence remained concealed

You analyzed his ebb and flow

To just what lengths did you go?

You were a lonely writer trying to fit in

With a”heh,” a”booya” – a whole loony bin

But I wondered what you might have been

The day the Magic died

I started singing

Bye bye, little Friggin’ Bald Guy

You brought up issues, now we miss you

Friggin’ G-to-the-Y

And if I e-mail you, I know I’ll get a reply

Saying: Sorry, Chief, but this is goodbye

Sorry, Chief, but this is goodbye

Now for a month we’ve been on our own

And dust grows thick on a Wall of Stone

But that’s not how it used to be

When the Ants stepped in for the Sliver Queen

‘Cause they added haste to the green machine

And some fun that came from scrubs like me

Oh, and while Flores was looking down

John Rizzo stole the Writer’s Crown

CCGPrime was adjourned,

Were any lessons learned?

And while Fuller spent a long time banned

Alan Comer played with Sleight of Hand

Oh did you even understand

The day the Magic died

We were singing

Bye bye, little Friggin’ Bald Guy

You brought up issues, now we miss you

Friggin’ G-to-the-Y

And if I e-mail you, I know I’ll get a reply

Saying: Sorry, Chief, but this is goodbye

Sorry, Chief, but this is goodbye

Allegations flew in investigations

The DCI caused some frustration

Eight players banned and more to come

From Bob Maher to David Williams

You sang”sexual” praises of chocolate men

And used them in your deck again

And while Wachter touted Battle of Wits

‘Tog played friend to Zev Gurwitz

We all built decks”the best”

Oh, but most couldn’t pass the test

And while players tried to break the field

The metagame refused to yield

Do you recall what was revealed

The day the Magic died?

We started singing

Well there we were all at one site

When the news broke that fateful night

With accusations and questions rife

So please John be nimble, John be quick

John whipped out a black beatstick

‘Cause CREEPER is the crypt’s only friend

And as he left Star City’s stage

His words felt hollow on the page

No miser trapper in hell

Could break old Bruce’s spell

And as Psychatog dominated the night

And every rogue lost the fight

I saw netdecker laughing with delight

The day the Magic died

They were singing

Bye bye, little Friggin’ Bald Guy

You brought up issues, now we miss you

Friggin’ Y-to-the-I

And if I e-mail you, I know I’ll get a reply

Saying: Sorry, Chief, but this is goodbye

Sorry, Chief, but this is goodbye

I met a girl who had bad times

And asked if Riz could bust one last rhyme

But she just frowned and was not amused

Then I went down to the sacred store

Where I’d played some Magic times before

But the man there said the Magic didn’t stay

And on the Net the writers screamed

The Ferrett cried and Alongi dreamed

But not a word was spoken

About Millikin being broken

And the three men I admire most John Finkel, Zvi, and Chris Romeo

They all ID’ed in Ohio

The day the Magic died

And they were singing

They were singing: Bye bye, little Friggin’ Bald Guy

You brought up issues, now we miss you

Friggin’ G-to-the-Y

And if I e-mail you, I know I’ll get a reply

Saying: Sorry, Chief, but this is goodbye

Sorry, Chief, but this is goodbye

Feel free to send me your thoughts, feedback, gripes, comments, or opinions at: [email protected].

I look forward to hearing from you – unless, of course, you are the one who sent me that nasty virus, in which case I’m working on the voodoo doll, sucka.

Jeremy Edwards

* – Yes, I said”American Pie.” There was an American Pie before le pie was a gag in the ever-marketable teen sex,”stick-your-shlong-in-a-pie” comedy. For those of you who have never heard the song before, it is widely interpreted to concern the plane crash that took the lives of promising young rock talents Richie Valens, Buddy Holly, and the Big Bopper, in 1959. I picked the song for John Rizzo because his departure was sudden and shocking. I felt that, like them, he left before his time.