The Combat Phase — It’s Not Easy Being Green

Morning in Madrid. The sun streams in the open window. It’s nine thirty. The alarm went off at

8:00, Wendy banged it, went back to sleep. The joys of a couple that works from home. I’m awake

because Wendy just got out of bed, went somewhere, and has now returned and is standing over me staring. I

look up at her sleepily and smile. She sighs and gets back into bed.

“You are an evil tempter.”
“What? What did I do? I’m just laying here naked and warm.”
“That’s why you’re an evil tempter.”
“Without actually doing anything, I’m an evil tempter?”
“Yes.”
“What if I was to grab you and pull you into bed and beg you to sleep longer and ignore the

clock?”
“Then you would be a horrible evil tempter.”
“Ah, I see. If I make an effort, I get upgraded to horrible.”
“Yes.”
“You know what I just noticed?”
“What?”
“You have green eyes.”
“Yes I do. So?”
“I am the master of all things Green.”
“So.”
“The eyes are the windows to the soul.”
“So you’re my master?”
“That’s what I’m thinking.”
“Do with me as you will.”

The first ten days have been rough.

My thought when I got here was to keep to a rigidly defined schedule. I would get up, have some

coffee, then go out to the terrace and do some Pal Dan Gum while looking out over the city. After that

there would be push-ups. Then maybe some weeping from the pain. After that, more coffee, and then

I’d work at learning Spanish by doing lessons in The

Rosetta Stone for Spain. After that, the most perfect complex carbs in the world – a bowl of

oatmeal.

Then, to the Magic and to the Writing.

Oh, the well laid plans of mice and men. Nothing works out the way it should. Life is just too busy.

Too many plans. Too many things to get done. Health insurance to get. A new monitor, keyboard and USB hub

for Wendy’s laptop. Laundry. A party with seventeen of her closest friends. Grey’s Anatomy.

Stocking the cupboard with food I like by going shopping ten minutes away. Mexican dinner and Margaritas.

And soon, the bull fights. The days are just packed.

We’re getting there though. Finally getting done all the chores that needed to be taken care of

when someone moves in with you, or in my case, moves to another country and needs things. Finally getting

settled and into a routine where we can actually get some work done. Pal Dan Gum has been done a couple

times. I’m on lesson 1-7 of Spanish. I actually spent yesterday playing Magic!

We’re getting there.

Tomorrow, the Novel? Perhaps? Actually move forward on a writing career? Could it be? Is it she? Zut

Alors!

Okay, to some Magic.

As promised, last week I was talking about working on an Anthem deck.

Twelve ways to make my guys huge. A few ways to limit opposing guys. None of them that effective.

Faith’s fetters for aggro decks. Scragnoth because I hate Blue so very much. Worship

because it’s just so very funny against so many decks when combined with Silhana Ledgewalker. Riders

for decks that like to repeal and counter everything past turn 1. And Crypt for, well, a lot of things.

Match 1 – Scryb and Force with Groundbreaker.

Game 1, the only pump I see is Elvish Champions. He has two Boreal Druids on the board, and a Scryb

Ranger with Blanchwood Armor. No, of course I don’t see Condemn or Sunlance. I see four Elvish

Champions though. I could play those and help him kill me faster but I choose not to.

Game 2 I see one Plains. Mulligan. Two Vitu Ghazi. Mulligan. One Vitu Ghazi. Mulligan. No Land at all.

Mulligan. Keep a hand of Brushland, Llanowar Elves, and Glorious Anthem. He plays turn 2 Groundbreaker,

turn 3 Groundbreaker. Turn 4, I draw a Condemn. Which I’m holding when I die because he plays a

Silhana Ledgewalker. He draws Serrated Arrows and I’m pinged to death with my own Brushland and his

Ledgewalker.

Are 22 lands really not enough for a deck with 4 Llanowar Elves, 4 Boreal Druid, and 4 Wood Elves in

it?

Match 2 – G/R Magnivore.

Game 1 is picture perfect. Land, Ledgewalker, two Gaea’s Anthem, and a Condemn. I rip some more

land and an Elvish Champion. Soon, a couple of 4/4s are swinging at his head and he only seems to draw

more land destruction.

Game 2 I side in Worship, and he has no answer that I can see in 13 turns. He does deny me Green mana

every time I play some, and kill my Llanowar Elves, but the Wood Elves get me more and I play more

Llanowar off the Forests coming in. He reduces me to one with a huge Magnivore and a couple of Pouncing

Wurms that I don’t block, but eventually concedes when I get out enough Elves to reduce him to zero.

His deck is interesting just for the fact that it makes me think of Mwonvuli Acid-Moss and Wildfire.

And Shard Phoenix. And Molten Firebird. And Search for Tomorrow. The experiments with land destruction

that Josh and I did in Extended really made me fall in love with Acid-Moss plus Creeping Mold. I love the

versatility of Mold and I love the acceleration plus deceleration aspect of the Moss. Might be something

to explore when I get done with this testing.

Match 3 – B/G Nightmare, Sengir Vampire, Vampiric Link.

Game 1 I condemn his Sengir Vampire and swing repeatedly with pumped up Elves.

Game 2 he is land shy and I have Silhana Ledgewalker, Champion, Anthem, and Worship. That’s one

good thing about the elf version – Ledgewalker plus Worship.

Match 4 – Some sort of control thing.

He plays some Deserts, some Signets, some Remands, a few Think Twice. I swing with 2/2 Elves, and just

keep swinging until he’s dead.

Game 2 is identical. I keep playing out guys unfazed by the fact he might have Wrath of God or

Damnation, because I have Vitu Ghazi on the board.

Match 5 – Dragonstorm.

Game 1 – I get a slow start, he combos off on turn 4.

Game 2 – I get an okay start, but get land screwed after using the last counter on my Gemstone

Mine. I die with an Elvish Champion, and two Gaea’s Anthem in my hand with only double White and a

Vitu Ghazi on the board. I have three lands; he has seven when he kills me.

You know, I bet Chameleon Blur would be good against Dragonstorm…

Then I have an epiphany. Why is it that I am playing this deck when I should be playing Timbermare?

Why am I wasting my time on this deck when a card was made in tribute to Marilyn and R&D made it good

enough so I would play it? Am I doing a disservice by not play testing and perfecting that? Of course I

am. I did say I was going to qualify with the card, so I better get busy working on it, huh?

I throw some cards together that I think might work and plan on tuning as I play.

Yes, Utopia Sprawl. One of the things I’ve found with Boreal Druid is that they’re no

Llanowar Elves. They’re a bad second fiddle. Seriously, the number of times I’ve needed double

Green and had 2 Boreal Druid on the board sickens me. This deck even needs triple Green.

Match 1- Blue/Red Warrens.

Game 1 – He gets perfect draws with a Warrens for eight on turn 3. I draw too much land.

Game 2 – He gets perfect draws with a Warrens for eight on turn 3. I draw too much land.

Realizing all but one of my guys has one toughness, and therefore cannot block Goblin tokens, I add

Gaea’s Anthem to the main and remove the squall lines. I add Scragnoth to the sideboard just because

I hate Blue so very much.

Match 2 – Martyr of Sands, Sacred Mesa.

Game 1…

Turn 3: MLGreen.
MLGreen plays Forest.
MLGreen plays Giant Solifuge.

Turn 4: MLGreen.
MLGreen plays Forest.
MLGreen plays Groundbreaker.
MLGreen plays Might of Old Krosa targeting Groundbreaker.
MLGreen plays Might of Old Krosa targeting Groundbreaker.
machot_69 has conceded from the game.
machot_69 has left the game.

Swing for twenty on turn 4. While he’s at fifteen.

Game 2 –

Turn 3: MLGreen.
MLGreen plays Forest.
MLGreen plays Giant Solifuge.

Turn 4: MLGreen.
MLGreen plays Timbermare.
MLGreen plays triggered ability from Timbermare.
MLGreen plays Uktabi Drake.
machot_69 has conceded from the game.

Match 3 – B/U Slivers.

Game 1 – Utopia Sprawl, Gaea’s Anthem, Solifuge, Groundbreaker, Timbermare. Pure face

smashing goodness.

Game 2 – He’s land shy, I’m land heavy. I keep playing Scryb Rangers and Llanowar

Elves. Then I get a resize and use it a couple times and start to think Chris Romeo is right. I love cards

that are card advantage without actually drawing cards. Will have to experiment further with Resize.

Behind me, Wendy is banging on her computer and swearing. Wendy has no trouble swearing when pissed

off. She’s Irish. It sounds like her laptop is going to die an early death unless I intervene. I am

a computer tech after all. And since I’m not “handy guy” and can’t fix a damn

thing around the house other than computers, I better grab my chance to show my worth when I can.

I take the hammer out of her hand.

“Easy sweetheart. What’s wrong?”
“This damn touchpad. It won’t respond. Look.”

She clicks the left touchpad twice, which should open a document. Nothing happens. She does it again.

Harder.

“Look, Arg! See? Nothing!”
“Let me take a look at it. Go take a shower. Relax. Let me work on this for a bit.”

It takes about 5 minutes to discover that it’s not spyware or a mouse setting or anything other

than a broken left touchpad clicker. I give her the bad news when she gets out of the shower.

“So what should I do?”
“Well, you can double click on the touchpad without hitting the button. A lot of people find that

very convenient once they get used to it. And when sitting at your desk, you can just use your USB

mouse.”
“I shouldn’t have to do that but that whole computer is falling apart. It’s made out of

very lightweight material and it’s all falling apart after a year of use. All the rubber feet have

come off; the “N” key is losing all its ink. It’s banged up.”
“Get a new computer.”
“I just bought that computer last year. I love how light it is. Won’t Dell fix it for

me?”
“Sure, but you’ll have to send it to them.”
“It has three year on site warranty.”

I laugh.

“Dell always says that, but I’ve never known a “Dell tech” to ever set foot

“on-site.” They would have to have reps in every town and every city in every country in the

world they sell to. You will never get on-site service, but you could probably get that part replaced if

you sent your computer back to them. Make sure to do a full back-up first.”

Wendy calls Dell.

A Dell tech arrives the next day.

…

He replaces a good portion of Wendy’s computer case. It looks almost new. While he’s

there, Wendy discusses how thrilled she is that her computer looks new again and how can we keep this from

happening again?

“We should go get you a new monitor and keyboard. You already have the docking station for your

speakers, palm pilot and printer, let’s make full use of it and get you a full size screen and

keyboard.”
”Well, that was always the plan…”
“So let’s do it. You’ll love having a much bigger monitor and a full sized

keyboard.”

And we’re off on a quest.

Since her USB ports are all used up, we need to find her either a:

Monitor with USB Ports.
Keyboard with USB Ports.
A USB Hub.

We head to Fnac and they have a nice silver 19-inch widescreen Monitor on sale for $219. But no USB

ports, and no keyboard with USB ports. We decide to head to PC City in hopes of avoiding buying a USB hub.

But we strike out there too.

“Shall we head to Ikea and Media Mart and the box stores 40 minutes away or head back to Fnac

and buy that monitor, a keyboard and a USB hub?”
“That’s 40 minutes away. If we do that, you know that’s going to be our whole

day.”
“True, but we do need to go to Ikea anyway.”
“Okay, but lets head home and get some food first, I’m starving.”

Eight hours later we are on our way home, Wendy’s head on my shoulder, almost asleep on the

metro. Weighed down with curtains, a keyboard, USB hub, Monitor, Buffy Season III, and a very nice monitor

for $179. Oddly enough it was marked as being $249, but they charged her $70 bucks less. When she went

back inside to show them and make sure she got the right monitor, they confirmed that it was the right

monitor. She showed them the price she paid.

“Yes, that’s less, be happy” they told her.
“I’m not complaining” Wendy says.

I am tote and carry boy. For the past week we have done so much shopping that I am constantly walking

the streets of Madrid with twenty pounds in each hand. My shoulders are actually sore from this we have

done it so much.

“You brought me here just to carry things and satisfy your lustful urges, didn’t

you?”
“It’s true. You have found me out.”
“I’m okay with that.”

Match 4 – Blink Riders.

Game 1 – Elf, Anthem, Solifuge, Groundbreaker, Groundbreaker, Timbermare. GG.

Game 2 – Forest, Elf, Utopia Sprawl on my lone forest, Utopia Sprawl on my lone forest.

Avalanche Rider kills my lone forest and I never draw another.

Game 3 he plays Avalanche Rider, Blinks it twice, Booms his Flagstones of Trokair (killing another of

my lands), and Lightning Helixes my Elf. On turn 7 I have zero land on the board.

I add some land, remove the Resizes. In a “combo” deck like this, multiple uses of Resize

doesn’t matter. What matters is winning turn 4.

Match 5 – R/U Madness.

Despite swinging with a 15/5 Groundbreaker, I lose when he counters my Timbermare and then starts

playing Reckless Wurms off a Mindless Automaton.

Game 2 – Magus of the Bazaar allows him to not only sift through his deck but play a lot of

things for madness cost. Madness is really cheap. As in, inexpensive.

I remove all the GG type effects and add in Primal Forcemage. I think I’m up to 28 creatures

now.

Match 6 – Blue/Black Discard with Guildmages.

Game 1 – is a slow start and I decide its time to remove the Scryb Rangers and add Boreal

Druids. I need to have 3 mana on turn 2. My first drop is a Primal Forcemage and he already has a

Plagued Rusalka, a Guildmage, and a Hippy on the board. He empties my hand of Solifuge and Timbermare in

one turn, and then I rip two Forests.

Game 2 – He makes me discard an Anthem, I play two Primal Forcemage and then two Solifuge.

Game 3 – I do some early trample beats then he builds up an army on his side of the board.

Timbermare + Scryb Ranger win it.

Match 7 – Lightning Angel.

Game 1 – I reduce him to twelve since Solifuge only does one through a Court Hussar, then he

Wraths. I play a Timbermare, he Demonfires it. I rip some land and some Elves; He rips some Lightning

Angels and Numot, the Devastator.

Game 2 – Second turn Primal Forcemage, third turn Solifuge, fourth turn Groundbreaker and Uktabi

Drake.

Game 3 – Second turn Groundbreaker, third turn Solifuge, attack again, he Wraths, Timbermare

does the last five.

Tournament at 3:00, and I decide to enter.

I decide I should remove the Utopia Sprawls and put in Elves of Deep Shadow. Then remove the Drakes

and put in Elvish Champion. I have to have three mana on turn 2 or the deck doesn’t work.

Primal Forcemage has shown to be amazing. With sixteen Elves now, adding in Elvish Champion seems like a

no-brainer. More ways to keep my guys out of Darkblast or Desert range. And now the deck is a

Forestwalking trampling nightmare. At least, I hope so anyway. I enter the three o’clock tournament

with this.

Hail Storm is for the Goblin Warrens decks. Or even other Elf decks. Chameleon Blur is for

Dragonstorm. Leyline and Scragnoth are because I hate counters so very very VERY much.

Round 1, Match 8 with the ever-evolving Timbermare deck. — G/U/W Wrath, Loxodon, Elves,

Thelonite Hermit, Shapeshifter (grrr).

Me – Elf, Elf, Elf, Forcemage, Solifuge, Groundbreaker.
Him – Bird, Morph, Morph, Loxodon Hierarch, flip Thelonite Hermit, flip Shapeshifter.
Me – Need a Champion to win.
Him – Need nothing to win, just keep flipping until you die on turn 6.

I side in nothing.

Me – Get a near perfect draw reduce you to one.
Him – Play Worship.
Me – Concede.

This is starting to suck.

Round 2, Match 9 — Angels.

Game 1 – Roll you like nothing. You take too long and have no counters.

Game 2 – Mulligan to five, die with seven land on the board and three more in hand.

Game 3 – Keep a hand of four Forests, Pendelhaven, Champion, and Deep Shadow. Draw a lot more

land. Scream, curse, and smash another keyboard. Play a land every turn until turn 11 when I finally

concede.

Round 3, Match 10 – Smallpox, The Rack, maindeck Dunerider Outlaw.

Look, Dunerider Outrider main is dumb. Green is a non-factor right now, and mono-Black beats it

anyway. Seriously, when was the last time you saw Whirling Dervish in a deck? There’s a reason for

that.

Game 1 – Plagued Rusalka, Smallpox, Stupor, Dunerider Outlaw, Rack is enough to smash my face in.

Game 2 – Him – Darkblast your Elf, play an Outlaw, Confidant, Rusalka, Rusalka, Stinkweed

imp.
Me – I thought I was the beatdown…

I drop in disgust.

As Peebles Primer showed us on Thursday, I’m not the only one having trouble with Green, as not

a single Primal Forcemage or Timbermare has made an appearance in the Top 8 yet with four Standard

tournaments in the books.

Wendy and I go for a walk, and I stew.

“Is everything alright? You’re awfully quiet.”
“Lost at Magic all day today. That usually does bad things to my mood.”

I cheer up the more we walk, and I get some fresh air and work some tension out. We come home and she

makes us some Pistachio Chicken. (So far everything she’s made us for dinner has been amazing. All

this and an amazing cook. Lucky me.) We watch a few episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, and fall asleep

around 2am. We get up around ten, and I nuke some coffee while Wendy jumps in the shower. When she

emerges, I am building a G/W and G/R version of Timbermare.dec.

“More Magic?”
“Once more into the breach.”

Until next week,

Jamie