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The Beautiful Struggle – The Goblin Disaster

Read Mark Young every Thursday... at StarCityGames.com!
It’s kind of eerie how Boggart Shenanigans, with the spoiled casting cost of 2R, seems to fit as perfectly for a Goblin beatdown deck as Astral Slide did for a White control deck. It’s almost like one card is a photonegative of the other. The Shenanigans turns each Goblin card (note that this includes Tarfire) into an extra point of damage without extra mana spent or loss of card advantage.

Man, it was pretty embarrassing to write all of those Treefolk decklists last week, because as I was finishing up the article I looked at the MTGSalvation.com spoiler and saw this card:

Boggart Shenanigans
2R
Tribal Enchantment — Goblin
Uncommon
Whenever a Goblin card is put into your graveyard, Boggart Shenanigans deals 1 damage to target player.

Hey, I love trees, but I think most players find this card a lot more exciting. I almost hope that casting cost was spoiled incorrectly, because otherwise it would seem that Wizards R&D learned nothing from Astral Slide.

With Astral Slide, you may recall, the problem was that its ability had no mana cost; the card was lacking the phrase “whenever you cycle a card, you may pay 1 [or W, or whatever]. If you do…” as part of its ability text. Multiple members of the Wizards of the Coast who write for MagictheGathering.com have since expressed regret that Astral Slide turned out that way, as a powerful anti-creature card kind of nullifies the Onslaught block’s “we want you to fight with creatures from these tribes!” theme.

With Slide, the end result was an almost perfect control card; for only the cost of cycling aggressive creatures like Goblin Piledriver could be fended off with no loss of card advantage. There wasn’t even a loss of mana, since those cycling costs were probably going to be paid anyway. The Slide also happened to fit perfectly in the mana curve for a cycling deck: “turn 2 Lightning Rift, turn 3 Astral Slide, turn 4 morphed Exalted Angel with mana up to cycle and Slide it out” was the nut draw for the cycling decks of the day, and it was not at all easy to defeat. If Astral Slide had cost, say, 3W, it would have been a lot more unwieldy, possibly even unplayable.

It’s kind of eerie how Boggart Shenanigans, with the spoiled casting cost of 2R, seems to fit as perfectly for a Goblin beatdown deck as Astral Slide did for a White control deck. It’s almost like one card is a photonegative of the other. The Shenanigans turns each Goblin card (note that this includes Tarfire) into an extra point of damage without extra mana spent or loss of card advantage. Like Astral Slide, my opinion of the card would drop considerably if it were to cost even one colorless mana more; as spoiled it fits rather well into the curve between Mogg War Marshal and Wort, Boggart Auntie.

The same day I read the card on the spoiler, it caused me to immediately assemble this deck, which is on my short list to play in the Top 8 Magic Mockvitational next weekend:

The Goblin Disaster
A Standard deck by Mark Young

4 Mogg Fanatic
4 Mogg War Marshal
4 Emberwilde Augur
3 Wort, Boggart Auntie
4 Siege-Gang Commander
4 Tarfire
4 Incinerate
4 Boggart Shenanigans
4 Molten Disaster
4 Terramorphic Expanse
4 Auntie’s Hovel
4 Graven Cairns
2 Swamp
11 Mountain

Sideboard:
4 Dead/Gone
4 Stingscourger
3 Avalanche Riders
4 Cryoclasm

I’m sure that I could have gone for Mad Auntie or Goblin King or some other Goblins that are legal in the format, but I would just rather burn the face. I want to burn the face so badly, in fact, that I never seriously considered Greater Gargadon for the deck. Instead I went for the idea that “you won’t want to kill my guys, but you don’t want me to untap with them in play, either.”

Those Molten Disaster slots might be responsible for the deck’s name, but they’ve almost been cut many times over the last week. I make no secret about loving Beacon of Unrest in concert with a Siege-Gang, but more than that I got excited when I saw the spoiled Profane Command. The idea of playing the Command for X=5, making the opponent lose 5 life and reanimating a Siege-Gang Commanderstimulates me. I would say more, but this is a family website. If I were to lose a game where a play like that happened, I would hope that the loss came in some really flashy way, like Coalition Victory or Barren Glory.

Nonetheless, I went with Molten Disaster because playing it with kicker can give you an edge against everyone. G/W decks would like to use Saffi Eriksdotter or save their guys with Stonecloaker; control decks would like to play Tendrils of Corruption or just counter the Disaster. None of that will be happening. By the time the end of Block season rolled around, Molten Disaster was the only card I was legitimately afraid of because I really had no outs to a deck built around it. Similarly, if you have a Shenanigans in play (or, God forbid, two), then just about any creature in the deck is a giant threat in concert with Molten Disaster. Those extra points from the Shenanigans really add up as you count down to a critical-mass X to end the game with Split Second.

Now let’s look at another fellow, who we know to be correct because he was previewed by another strategy site:

Knucklebone Witch
B
Creature — Goblin Shaman
Rare
Whenever a Goblin you control is put into a graveyard from play, you may put a +1/+1 counter on Knucklebone Witch.
1/1

Man, that Moriok Rigger was a bad card. Apparently, he needed to be a 1/1 for one with a tribal theme to be any good. No wonder he didn’t see any play! Eh? What’s that you say? Moriok Rigger appeared in four out of the Top 8 decks in the last Mirrodin Block Constructed Grand Prix? Wow. Then what’s up with this Knucklebone fella?

The conditions around him are not quite the same as with the Rigger. The Rigger benefited from an already-broken linear mechanic (Affinity, obv) being in the format, and a card that was later determined to be broken (Aether Vial) sharing a deck with him. Sure, there was a “Shock” in the format that could kill the Rigger (Electrostatic Bolt), but it was usually headed aimed at other, more dangerous artifact creatures. Also, Wizards R&D has learned their lesson from the Affinity era; Tarfire doesn’t feed this fellow, and they actively decided against printing any cards with type “Goblin Land.”

The Witch is certainly a good card, and I wouldn’t be surprised if more than one States was won with him in the maindeck, but I’m not so sure he makes the Goblin deck extra-busted in the same way the Rigger did for the artifact deck. I didn’t include the Knucklebone Witch in my decklist above because I think he might say “win more” where Boggart Shenanigans just says “win.” The Witch doesn’t have trample (Shenanigans doesn’t need it) and he folds to Mogg Fanatic, Tarfire, or any other removal spell (who will be running enchantment removal in the maindeck for Shenanigans?).

On the other hand, if I am interpreting Siege-Gang Commander’s current Oracle text correctly, his ability can be activated by sacrificing Boggart Shenanigans or any other permanent with subtype “Goblin.” And, of course, the Knuckler does gain counters when permanents of subtype “Goblin” are put in the bin from play. So Knucklebone Witch may yet make it into my Goblin Disaster deck! For now, though, I’m thinking about the Witch in Extended, because there was already a well-known set of Goblin decks that wanted their minions in the bin as soon as possible:

Dirty Kitty by Billy Moreno
2006 Magic World Championships

4 Bloodstained Mire
4 Wooded Foothills
4 Stomping Ground
1 Blood Crypt
6 Mountain
4 Skirk Prospector
4 Goblin Piledriver
4 Goblin Warchief
4 Goblin Matron
1 Goblin Sharpshooter
1 Goblin Sledder
4 Mogg War Marshal
4 Seething Song
4 Rite of Flame
2 Brightstone Ritual
4 Empty the Warrens
4 Fecundity
1 Grapeshot

Sideboard
4 Clickslither
4 Cabal Therapy
2 Pyroclasm
2 Krosan Grip
2 Ancient Grudge
1 Goblin King

Goblins by Roy Williams
6-0, 2006 Magic World Championships

4 Barbarian Ring
1 Goblin Burrows
12 Mountain
4 Mogg War Marshal
4 Skirk Prospector
2 Goblin Sledder
4 Goblin Piledriver
4 Goblin Warchief
4 Goblin Matron
4 Goblin Ringleader
1 Goblin Sharpshooter
1 Goblin Pyromancer
1 Siege-Gang Commander
4 Empty the Warrens
4 Rite of Flame
2 Seething Song
4 Chrome Mox

Sideboard
3 Blood Moon
2 Clickslither
2 Goblin Sharpshooter
4 Shattering Spree
2 Gempalm Incinerator
2 Pithing Needle

(Incidentally, I couldn’t find these decks in StarCityGames.com’s Deck Database, I guess because they’re a year old. I was, however, able to find something called “My Multicolored Thingy.” Y’know, there are antibiotics you can take for that.)

I thought of these decks as a result of seeing Knucklebone Witch, but the reality is that they gain all sorts of goodies from Lorwyn. In Billy’s deck, for example, you no longer have to go off until you find the Grapeshot; Boggart Shenanigans is a tutorable win condition with the same idea. Roy Williams’ deck might benefit from some Tarfires to remove blockers or a Mad Auntie to pump up its Empty the Warrens spawn. And of course they both get Mogg Fanatic from Tenth Edition (essential just to have a chance against Bridge from Below and Cephalid Breakfast).

There was one point where I really wanted to run Goblins in a PTQ at Dream Wizards last year, and I cannot for the life of me recall why I gave up on that plan and ran Affinity instead. I think I might have been concerned with the increasing popularity of Assault-Loam decks, or the so-called King in the Castle deck (U/G/W with Trinket Mage and Loxodon Hierarch). Or I may have simply thought that the little Red men were underpowered compared to the artifacts. Regardless, I dug up an ancient decklist and decided to give it another go with the new cards:

4 Mogg Fanatic
4 Skirk Prospector
4 Goblin Piledriver
4 Goblin Warchief
4 Goblin Matron
4 Goblin Ringleader
1 Knucklebone Witch
1 Boggart Shenanigans
1 Siege-Gang Commander
4 Empty the Warrens
4 Rite of Flame
2 Brightstone Ritual
4 Chrome Mox
1 Blood Crypt
1 Stomping Ground
4 Bloodstained Mire
4 Wooded Foothills
9 Mountain

The sideboard would be much like Moreno’s: Ancient Grudge and Krosan Grip to start. I would probably also want Molten Rain to beat TEPS and Tormod’s Crypt to beat Life From the Loam decks.

The Witch and Shenanigans basically take the place of the Sharpshooter and Sledder in Williams’ deck, as both are cheaper. The Shenanigans does basically the same thing as the Sharpshooter (1 damage per deceased creature) while not needing haste. The Sledder would clearly be better than the Witch in a Fecundity deck, but I think that in a mono-Red build the Witch is a finer choice, as one of two things will happen. Either the opponent will kill your creatures to stop your beatdown, or a large number of Goblins will be sacrificed to power up a huge Empty. In both of those scenarios, the Witch benefits more than the Sledder.

The big question is simply if Goblins, despite a whole new tribal set to add on, are fast enough to win in a world filled with Tarmogoyfs and Counterbalances. I’m not going to guarantee that they are, but it wouldn’t shock me to see them in force in Magic Online premiere events a month or two from now. The best tribe may spend more time in the Swamps these days, but that doesn’t stop them from being the best tribe.

This article written while reading Matt Vienneau’s LiveJournal. You may recall that Matt’s sister went missing in Syria last spring; it appeared on the StarCityGames.com front page for a day or two. She has not yet been found. If you have a few bucks to spare, I would urge you to go to FindNicoleVienneau.com and make a donation, to help cover travel costs and other expenses as Matt and his family continue their search.

mmyoungster at aim dot com
mm_young dot livejournal dot com
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