Wait, I have to have this in by when?
Holy damn.
Alright guys, sorry, nope, no article today. Sorry, the writing mill is closed. I still don’t know what people want me to write, I’m a casual writer anyway, and I don’t want to do one of those god-awful “I have nothing to write about” articles, because, well, it’s my get-out-of-jail free card, and I wanna keep those close to my chest.
It’s a double-XP weekend, there’s three areas of national disaster, and nobody on the Mothership has said anything that’s prompted an angry rant from me. No way I can produce a cogent whole of an article with just three or four days to work with.
So that’s it. Sorry. Thanks for turning up, and it’s great to see you guys, but serious; check back next week. Though I’d really like to know about your opinions on the four article ideas I tabled last week.
Take care, everyone!
Hugs and Kisses
Talen Lee
talen at dodo dot com dot au
PS – I have to share this anecdote, because it struck me as utterly hilarious, even though… well, yeah. Bragging is never nice. Anyway, during one recent Prismatic game, an opponent, in my turn, snarkily says, “You die next turn.” I blink, look at my life total, play a Hierarch and pass; he plays a Rorix, and comments how I was “lucky” to have gained a turn.
He then cast Trade Secrets.
Now, I don’t know if Trade Secrets can work out for you. I mean, I suppose in a combo deck it might give you the option of digging gooood and deep, with an over-ambitious opponent. I remember Rosewater saying that Spikes like cards that give you the chance of out-skilling your opponent, stuff like Mana Tithe. Whatever that type of card gets called, Trade Secrets is the exact opposite.
My opponent had tapped out to cast these two spells. I was not so mana-fettered (indeed, I was flooded). I drew over two hundred cards, until I found:
Yosei, the Morning Star
Damnation
Ancestor’s Chosen
Jotun Grunt
Oversold Cemetery
The sequence is relatively obvious; Yosei plus Damnation one turn (thanks for the free turn), discard over two hundred cards at the end of turn, untap, draw, play an Ancestor’s Chosen and gain 200+ life, with a Jotun Grunt and an Oversold Cemetery to recycle what of those 200 cards I most wanted to keep.
Of course, he conceded about the point I drew my 200th card, since I think he was stalling. But it was still a pretty amazing blowout waiting to happen.
PPS – What’s with the discussions in the casual room lately? It’s bizarre, watching people render high-minded metaphors and grand linguistic constructs trying to explain things that they have exactly wrong. It’s like listening to Aristotle talking about Absolute Rest and the like. How many times over can a player complain about Jitte, over a year after it’s left Standard?
PPPS — Recently, playing Prismatic, I’ve been finding that cutting colors is easy… in the colors you don’t want to cut. Black, Red, and Blue have a lot of options that mean you can play the cards without ever playing a single mana of their colors that do something beyond “drawing a card.” Red gives you Chartooth Cougar (for the dual of your option), Homing Sliver, and Gathan Raiders, and that’s a decent start, with Giant Solifuge and any Guildmage of your variously appropriate type pinch-hitting. The Wizardcycler adds to Blue’s already impressive options for Avoiding Blue, and even makes another neat, little mini-toolbox to put in your deck.
PPPPS – Man, are wizards an awesome tribe in Prismatic! Hell, in Standard, I get all tingly when I play Ana Battlemage. A Blue/Green wizard deck sounds neat: I mean, you could use Vedalken Aethermages to tutor up a whole range of guys, like Teferi, or Ana Battlemage, or Voidmage Prodigy. Plus, Linessa, and oh, I’m sure there are some other dudes. Hmm. That sounds pretty cool, actually…
PPPPPS – Why do R&D keep putting the oppositional forces to things in the same color? Why does Blue get draw and discard, counters for counters, free spells and the way to stop them? Why does Black get the means to use its graveyard as a resource and the means to strip away the graveyard? By this logic, Green should get Wrath of God… but, then, by the same logic, Green should be getting good creatures.
PPPPPPS – Few things are as “un-useful” as pointing out the obvious, and yet as a writer, I get called on it if I don’t. It’s so surreal – I mean, I don’t know why. Flores can talk crap for seventeen pages, change decks at will, and remind everyone that he’s friends with his total bestest pal Jon “I Am Friends With Mike Flores” Finkel.
PPPPPPPS – Further on “un-useful,” building a writing style on doing nothing fruitful but bashing on another writer is pathetic. You know who I’m looking at here… Making fun of Mike Flores is not hard, nor is it big, nor is it clever. Seriously. Mike has a whole battery of writers here that spend quite a lot of time making fun of him. They then go and write, you know, actual articles to go with them.
PPPPPPPPS. Chris Romeo recently said, “you can go without bad rares.” This isn’t true, but not for the reason he was given. “Try harder” isn’t a good enough stance on the matter, either. See, the thing is, the problem is, that cards in a set are graded relatively to one another. Wild Mongrel, and I say this with some degree of an unassailable position as nobody can prove me right or wrong, would have been a bad card printed back in Tempest Block. The worth of the Mongrel was balanced alongside the cards he interacted with, and how he didn’t really make you lose cards in exchange for damage – he just gave you more damage.
PPPPPPPPPS. Every rare, in my opinion, should have some value to someone. As much as I hate One With Nothing, I recognize that there are players who seriously do like it. They want it to exist, and it has a niche use. Steamflogger Boss’s point was to be a joke, to reference something that would never exist. That’s not something that it needs to be rare to do. Indeed, I honestly think the guy would have served better as an uncommon, because then you could have fun collecting them in Limited games and get the occasional “here’s my hasted 4/3” turn.
PPPPPPPPPPS – Why do all the Magic protagonists suck?
PPPPPPPPPPPS – I mean it! Like, all the main characters have been bland and uninteresting. It’s basically seems that, instead of character designers and writers, they have a pack of D&D goobers who genuinely thinks people Want To Hear About Their Paladin. Don’t get me wrong, this is the best kind of environment to try and get that story to fly, but it’s still not going to pick you up any chicks.
PPPPPPPPPPPPS – Also, could Creative hire someone capable of writing a book to, y’know, actually write their books?
PPPPPPPPPPPPPS – I know, I know. I’ve used this device before. In fact, last time I did it, I was sulky and bored because Craig kicked my ass at Magic. Now I’m just being lazy because I had my timelines short-sheeted on me. Hopefully, you’re reading this on your Tuesday, or I’m going to look really stupid for using a cheap trick and getting it in late.
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPS – Oh, yeah. I’d better add a decklist:
Red Deck Remains
4 Pyrohemia
4 Molten Phoenix
4 Rough/Tumble
4 Bottled Cloister
4 Coldsteel Heart
4 Skred
4 Dead/Gone
4 Ghostfire
4 Phyrexian Ironfoot
20 Snow-Covered Mountain
2 Kher Keep
2 Keldon Megaliths
So far, this deck seems to work better in multiplayer than it does in duals. In multiplayer, the Hemia represents a much stronger threat on its own, and Kher Keep generally always has somewhere it can go. I’ve considered running Gargadons in place of the Ironfoot (if you have to Hemia away your own Gargadon, I suspect you’d probably be in a losing position anyway), and I wanted to keep it rare-light, so this is the list you get.
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPS – Have I stuffed up with the posts yet?