Warning: A tired old joke will shortly be arriving in Paragraph Three.
Felicitous greetings to you my desirous readership on this th’occasion of my [wait a sec … one .. two … three … (long pause)] something-th article for StarCityCCG; and to celebrate this auspicious moment, sit yourself down and have a cup of tea – there may even be a buttered scone in it for you if you’re especially good!
Now! As some of you may already be aware, as an Englishman I go to work each day on the train wearing my Bowler hat and pin-striped suit*, carrying an umbrella, and tutting loudly about the state of the country / the weather / foreign Johnnys**, etc etc. It was only the other morning, as they were scraping the remains of a particularly unpleasant Stockbroker from the tracks, that I took it upon myself to imagine how Magic: The Gathering could progress in the years to come, and recalled an article/rant of mine from a while back (pre-StarCity)*** that proposed that WotC would kill off a bunch of its games and re-use their mechanics in later M:TG releases – that sounds like a cool proposition, doesn’t it ?
So here are some new M:TG mechanics based not just on old WotC product, but on alternative game mechanics and some of my own ideas too.
Some Ideas for Spicing Things Up A Bit
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("That’ll be the ‘Summat Borrowed’ bit then – eh, Tony?")
1. Hidden resources or ‘builds’ (after Battletech)
We sort of had something like this with Invisibility, but the idea of ‘building’ hidden resources and then revealing them with a cry of victory and a shower of spittle is quite an appealing one (as long as you’re the spittler rather than the spittlee, of course). Prime permanents for this treatment would be Artifacts, Artifact Creatures, and (Legendary) Lands. The sequence is: play them ‘for free’ facedown; add a counter each upkeep (or when instructed to do so by another permanent, creature ability, instant or sorcery), reveal when required as long as the minimum number of counters is present.
Construction cards can only be targetted by specific cards or abilities while ‘hidden’, but disenchanted / stone-rained etc when revealed (as per normal).
2. ‘Terrains’ (or Lands that have enchantment-like effects, after LOTFR)
Slap down one of these lands and you can either tap it for mana. or it gives you an enchantment-like effect if it remains untapped e.g.. Sylvan Academy (acts like a
Sylvan Library), Fortress of the Abyss (acts like an Abyss), Underground Maze (all your creatures gain <LAND>walk) etc – how cool would these be?
3. Silver cards
It’s been a long time since Gold cards appeared in a set, but we remember them fondly EVEN IF SOME OF THEM WERE HORRENDOUSLY, HORRIBLY, HOPELESSLY BROKEN***** where (layman explanation mode=ON) there were different coloured mana requirements in the casting cost. How about Silver cards? Same idea, sort of, but
there are two casting costs i.e. two spells on one card
e.g.
Shocking Salve
R/W
Instant
Deal 2 damage to target creature or player
OR
Prevent up to the next 3 damage that would be dealt to
target creature or player.
4. Re-use the Bleed stuff from Jyhad / Vampyre the Masquerade, etc
I never played this, but I overheard someone using the word ‘BLEED’ in the pub during a game, and it wasn’t in the same sentence as ‘sanitary towel’. Anyone care to enlighten me ideas in the Discussion Forums?
5. Triple-word Scores
Erm.. basically a sort of Rhystic-like mechanic where if the condition on the card is met, then something else occurs – I think it’s best if I show you an example to avoid vigorous scalp-manipulation, e.g.
Residual Sparks
2R
Instant
Deal 1 damage to target creature or player. If that creature or player has already received at least 3 points of damage this turn, Residual Sparks deals an additional 3 damage to that target.
Lightning Bolt YOU! Residual Sparks YOU! That’s seven points of damage for 4 mana, folks! Is this ba-roken?
6. Bit-parts
I kinda thought that R&D missed a boat of opportunity with those Ramos artifacts. I mean, it would’ve been great to play all five of them and turn them into a sicko, 12/12 trampling, untargetable artifact monstrosity.
"This is getting way too sensible – anything stupid to finish with, Tony?"
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Ok – you asked for it. Here are the Magical Star Signs! A sort of ‘Abyssal Horrorcope’, if you will:
VIRDIGRO
(24th Orggust – 21st Steptember)
Favourite Card(s): Flying Hy-Men, Purelace, anything with cHaste…
SYLVAN LIBRA
(22nd Steptember – 21st Okktober)
Favourite Card(s): Balance, Noetic Scales
PIT SCORPIO
(22nd Okktober – 24th Unnervember)
Favourite Card(s): Venom
MAGITARIUS
(25th Unnervember – 23rd D.C.I.mber)
Favourite Card(s): Jolrael’s Centaur, Windseeker
Centaur, Centaur of Ivy (oops)
JESTER’S CAPRICORN
(24th D.C.I.mber – 23rd Banuary)
Favourite Card(s): Squirming Christmas, Toymaker
SACQUARIUS
(24th Banuary – 22nd Scrubruary)
Favourite Card(s): Part Water, Water Carrier Pigeon, anything from Portal: Second Age (of Sacquarius)
HISCES
(23rd Scrubruary – 24th Forced March)
Favourite Card(s): Three Fishes, Fishmonger
TELIM’TAURUS
(25th Forced March – 23rd Kird April)
Favourite Card(s): Raging Bull, Hungry Heifer
FAERIES
(24th Kird April – 24th You-may)
Favourite Card(s): Puffer Extract, Gay Ogre
HALL OF GEMINI
(25th You-May – 23rd June*)
Favourite Card(s): Clone, Morphling
LANCER
(24th June*-23rd Duely)
Favourite Card(s): King Crab, Horseshoe Crab
A-LEO-PILE
(24th Duely – 23rd Orggust)
Favourite Card(s): Savannah Lions, Lions Eye Diamond, Jamuraan Lion, M’tenda Lion, Iron Like A Lion In Zion
God Bless,
Tony Boydell
[email protected]
P.S. Three bare arses on a bench****
* – Though quite what the train is doing wearing my Bowler hat and suit I’ll never know! (long pause) I’m sorry.
** – Delete all but preferred stereotypical whinge
*** – I’m sorry, but this footnote is not here right now – if you’d like to leave your name and number after the beep… etc.
**** – Summat U (-ish)
*****- Two words…10 letters and 5 letters.