Sealed Revealed 4: Ravnica/Guildpact Cardpool #3

I tried to stay away. Really, I tried.

I couldn’t.

The thing is, my testing for this Sealed format has reached a plateau. I’ve opened countless packs, both real and virtual, searching for some semblance of clarity… yet with each one, the waters become muddier than before.

I really, really, want to qualify for Prague. Really.

I don’t know why it’s so important to me… it’s probably something to do with this job. Now I read about Magic all day, for a steady paycheck, I feel I should be winning stuff. Matches. Tournaments. Hell, even Pro Tours.

I’ve two Pro Tour Qualifiers this weekend, and I want to cram as much practicing into my schedule as possible. This means opening product, building decks. And writing about the process.

Last night, I’d reached my final Ravnica tourney pack. My final two unopened Guildpact boosters. I was saving them for Friday evening, to do some last-minute cramming before the weekend.

I tried to leave them be. Really, I tried.

But I succumbed.

Crackle went the plastic as I tore it from the packs. I threw the detritus on the floor. It was my own house, after all, and I was free of the judges’ glare. Although Corky, my cat, is black and white.

I scanned the cards. I piled them into colors. I tried to make a deck.

I wish I hadn’t.

Before last night, I thought I was feeling confident. I’d ploughed through hundreds of cardpools, real and virtual. I felt I was getting a grip on the intricacies of the format. Most importantly, I felt I was able to take a bad selection of cards, and make a playable deck.

After this pool? I’m not so sure.

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Here we are again. Another day, another dollar, another seventy-five select. Officially my last cardpool before the fun and games of the coming weekend.

You know the drill. Bring forth the cards!

You can see my dilemma. Where are the good spells? Where are the good creatures? Oh, there are a few nice guys in the swimming pool, but overall? Nothing. Man cannot dine on Signets alone.

Build me a deck, folks. How would you handle this one?

Ya want dots? Ya got em!

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Please, put away those razors. I know it’s bad, but don’t do anything rash. Your parents love you.

If I open a pool like this at my Pro Tour Qualifiers this weekend… let’s just say I’ll leave the event a little better at sidedrafting.

Here’s what I think of the cards. Pay attention, you at the back.

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White

It’s strange. My love affair with White seems to be officially over. How I can say that when I still seem to shoe-horn some White cards into my builds, I’ll never know. Even so, the days of multiple Kabuto Moth and Kitsune Blademaster are long gone. Ravnica White just hasn’t got the stamina.

I shouldn’t complain. I get to play with the Green guys these days.

The Ravnica White

As usual, I’ll be giving a nod to the Ravnican cards in a single paragraph. This pool of Ravnican paleness beings with an elephant. I know all about the Loxodon history, and its place in White culture, but even so, elephants should be Green, damn it! Did Call of the Herd teach us nothing? Anyway, Loxodon Gatekeeper, at four mana, is a fine controllish card. It slows down your opponent something chronic. While a 2/3 body is just passable for four mana, it can have a devastating effect on the game’s development. Polishing this guy’s trunk, we have a couple of fine early drops. We have the porn-master general, Veteran Armorer, and the steadfast first-striker, Nightguard Patrol. While the Patrol is prime for pinging, the Armorer supplies him with a fine set of chainmail underpants. Benevolent Ancestor is a healing Wall — sorry, spirit — but I am loathe to play him in any aggressive deck. Next up we have the goggle-eyed freak, Courier Hawk. He’s surprisingly effective, as he trades with a number of airbound beasties. Bringing up the rear, with a pack of moist towlettes and a sheepish grin, is the diabolical Dromad Purebred. I’ve seen better players than me run with this hideous tat, but that doesn’t mean he’s good.

As for spells, we fare badly. Festival of the Guildpact is a cheeky Fog, and it cantrips to boot, but I’m never happy playing this Woodstock replica. I mean, just look at ‘em. Flowers, beards, beads, and smiles. It’s enough to make me vomit into my shoes. It’s definitely a “say hello to Parsley” card. Wojek Siren is a passable combat trick, but again, it’s not first-pick fodder. I’m unhappy with filling an entire deck full of “twenty-third choice” cards. Rounding out the White, we have Conclave’s Blessing. Let’s face it, it comes from the Conclave, but it’s hardly a blessing.

The Guildpact White

Let’s hope we fare better after examining the new cards. Of course, you have seen the card list above, and you know it’s all downhill from here.

• We’ll start strong with the Shrieking Grotesque. He flies, he’s a 2/1, and he costs three mana… plus he brings a Ravenous Rats ability to the table. One of the better cards from the Guildpact bunch. Even though he’s lovely to play, he’s hideous to look at. No wonder he’s shrieking… it looks like somebody’s wee’d in his eyes. I’d be shrieking too under such terrible circumstances.
• Absolver Thrull, the ground-based Aven Cloudchaser, would be playable without the amount of enchantment targets in Ravnica and Guildpact. As with the Loxodon Gatekeeper, his 2/3 body for four mana will hardly stomp all over your opponent’s turnip patch… but he’ll get the job done one way or another.
• At last, a card I can really get behind! Belfry Sprit brings us five power of flying excellence for the bargain price of five mana. Sure, you’ve got to jump through haunt hoop to get the true value, but I’m more than happy having bats in this particular belfry. (The guys he produces are bats… can anyone see a combo with Skeletal Vampire? Heh.)
• The guys in this pool are rounded out by the, frankly unimpressive, Skyrider Trainee. “As long as Skyrider Trainee is enchanted, it has flying”. What’s so special about that? Hell, if I was enchanted, I’m sure I could fly too. In fact, I don’t need to be enchanted — all I need is an airline ticket. Then again, he’s a 3/3 guy, while I’m only a 1/2. I worked out my own strength and toughness by the following deductions: I think I’m strong enough to defeat a squirrel in combat, but not a bear. (I stole this joke from the forums. Blame them if you’re not laughing.)
• To Arms! To Arms! To Arms! Rubbish. Ok, so this draws us a card, and the untap ability may be randomly useful, but I’d rather have any creature in its place. It may be worth considering in a Boros build featuring multiple Viashino Fangtails and Thundersong Trumpeters.

Rounding out, there’s the Guardian’s Magemark, a terrible Aura for terrible players. Look, if you have to play this, you may as well drop and Draft right now. It’ll save you some valuable time in the long run.

The plain White cards are frankly uninspiring. We’ve a couple of nuggets — Loxodon Gatekeeper and Belfry Spirits spring to mind — but there’s nothing here that cleans my pipe. Having said that, I think this whole card pool is entirely awful. We’ve such a dearth of creatures, we may be forced to run with the only colour that brings soldiers to the table.

Boros R/W

We’re not playing Boros. That much is bloody obvious. For true Boros goodness, we need Thundersong Trumpeter, Skyknight Legionnaire, and possibly Sunhome Enforcer. This pool is missing Thundersong Trumpeter, Skyknight Legionnaire, and possibly Sunhome Enforcer. Slightly deficient, I’m sure you’ll agree. We have Rally the Righteous (yay!) and Boros Signet (yay-yay!), but I’m just making up the numbers here. Let’s hope the other guilds actually have, you know, cards in them.

Selesnya G/W

I think I’ve been spoilt of late with decent Selesnyan options. This is perhaps the biggest disappointment of this pool for me — there’s no broken Green/White goodness. We have Chorus of the Conclave, the eight mana legendary dryad lord, and I suppose it has some uses, but I’m not exactly singing over this chorus. I’ve only played against the Chorus once, in a bizarre game that saw my Phytohydra (equipped with Pariah’s Shield) holding off an army that included a 13/13 Frenzied Goblin. I won that one. The other Selesnyan cards in this pool are Guardian of Vitu-Ghazi and Selesnya Signet. Combo! One accelerates mana, and one costs mana! Lame. I’ll play them both, but I don’t dream about opening them.

Orzhov B/W

• We’ve three cards from Orzhov, and all three have their uses. Pillory of the Sleepless is an excellent removal Aura. Slap this on a Streetbreaker Wurm and laugh as your opponent weeps silently into his Dr Pepper. This card, along with Blind Hunter, is the marquee common of the Orzhov guild.
• Castigate is a decent spot discard spell, with the added value it can hose the dredge strategy if your opponent is caught with his trousers down. I love the art on this card — it’s fantastically creepy. Although I see no harm in a fat man torturing his gimp every now and again.
• The final Orzhov card is the Orzhov Signet. We seem to have an abundance of twiglets in this pool. Shame really, because we’ve got f*** all else.

I don’t like the White. I don’t like the Boros White, the Orzhov White and I don’t like the Selesnyan White. That said, I don’t like the Black, I don’t like the Green, I don’t like the Blue, and I don’t like the Red. This was to be my last pool before my PTQs this coming weekend… talk about demoralising.

Black

We already know we’re playing Black — it’s the only colour with any stamina in this pool. Of course, basing your entire game plan around a Skeletal Vampire hardly fills my heart with joy and fluffy bunnies.

The Ravnica Black

Chengo! Chengo! Chengo McFlingers! Disembowel is a fine card, and the artwork is stuff of nightmares. While we’d like a Last Gasp, our removal suite is rounded out by Brainspoil and Clinging Darkness. We’ve not got the caviar, but we’ll make do with the spam. Vigor Mortis is a nice reanimation card, and I’m more than happy to include it as a virtual creature in this monster-light selection. Sadly, after these dubious gems, the Black cards tarnish at a lightning rate. Infectious Host is atrocious… or is it? In this new Blind Hunter environment, does the host has a place at the party? Probably not, but it’s worth asking. Golgari Thug is far too slow, even though I once enjoyed his company at the Ravnica pre-release. Necromantic Thirst is usually filler… but in this pool, with it’s lack of decent guys, maybe it has a place. Our last Ravnican Black sweetmeat is Sins of the Past. I don’t like it, but it’s effect is obviously powerful, given the right targets in the graveyard. Thoughts?

The Guildpact Black

• Finally we’re getting somewhere! Skeletal Vampire is an obvious bomb. While a 3/3 flyer for six mana isn’t wonderful on its own, the fact that the Vampire brings two batty bats into play boosts this guy from a bony bore into a fangtastic fiend. Given enough mana, this guy will make you an army. I love the creature type on Skeletal Vampire: vampire skeleton. I mean, with a name like Skeletal Vampire, what do people expect? A badger giraffe?
• Orzhov Euthanist is a tricky removal spell on a 2/2 body. He definitely has his uses. Perhaps the best of these is in the bluff — I find that many opponents will neglect to block my tiny attacker with their fat-assed blocker, purely through the threat of this card. He also reminds me of Crocodile Dundee. I mean, look at the size of that knife.
• What do you guys think of Revenant Patriarch? A 4/3 for five mana would be acceptable… if the bloody thing could block. His comes-into-play ability is largely useless, but he is a warm body, and can swing for the game. In a creature-weak pool such as this, the Patriarch is a walking compost heap that will probably make the final team.
• We fly in the face of fear, and end the day with the Poisonbelly Ogre. This guy is a chump, and nothing more. He may make the roster as a last-resort beater, but his ability can be both intrusive and debilitating. A possible board option against the token-toting Selesnyans, but he’ll only work there in a build which piles on early pressure. Say he comes down on turn five, with a G/W opponent already in possession of an active Evangel and, say, 3 tokens… Unless they Selesnyan mage is on less than ten life, the Ogre’s bleed ability will be next to useless. Definitely not for me, if I can help it.
• We’re being forced into Black by the Skeletal Vampire and the workable removal available. Last time out, we had double Douse in Gloom… this time, we’re pissing biscuits with the Necromancer’s Magemark. At first, the Magemarks were heralded with a big Whoopee. Lotsa folks saw them as cards with Limited appeal (note the capital L). However, it’s clear that they’re little more than filler. Sure, the Blue Magemark is fine… but it’s the best of a bad bunch. The Black one? Passable, I suppose. I’d rather eat feces, mind.
• Cremate is a sideboard card for those Dredgeaholics amongst up. If your opponent has a Moldervine Cloak (or similar), feel free to bring it in. Playing graveyard removal maindeck is the sign of an intensely weak cardpool, even if it does draw us a card.

Yeah, we’ve a flying bomb. Skeletal Vampire, if left unattended, is nuts. He dies to Last Gasp, though… which is a little worrying. Maybe including the Magemark in this pool (protecting the Vamp from both Last Gasp and Brainspoil) isn’t a bad plan…

Golgari G/B
So far, the golden guild cards have been pretty weak. The pain, unfortunately, continues. For six mana, we do receive the brilliant Drooling Groodion, but Golgari Germination? Please. Having said that, I once lost to it on Magic Online. Then again, I’ve lost to people running Pro Player Cards on Magic Online. It’s no fun being beaten down by an Osyp, no matter how you look at it.

Dimir U/B

The Dimir cards, an obvious bedfellow of Blue scum-sucking atrocity, present us with some tasty morsels. At four mana, Moroii is excellent. A 4/4 flyer is usually very expensive. Sadly, his drawback can be one hell of a burden. Ever had your Moroii neutered by a Pillory of the Sleepless. Of course you have. This pool presents little in the way of sacrifice effects, and this must be considered when making final choices. Consult the Necrosages is a wonderful card that presents options. While I generally avoid discard, Consult gives us this option free of charge. Finally — not including the welcome Dimir Signet – there’s the 1/3 annoyance that is Dimir Infiltrator. He’ll do more damage than we think, and he’ll transmute for our Last Gasp. Except we haven’t got one of those. *grumble grumble*

The Black cards have thrown us a much-needed lifeline. While I still hate these cards with a fiery passion, we have the makings of something playable. Let’s hope the Blue will aid us with the Dimir build. Or (fingers crossed) our Green will eclipse all things and blind us in the shimmering light of its monstery goodness.

Blue

The Ravnica Blue
Just when things were beginning to go well… Where are my Drift of Phantasms, my Snapping Drakes? Where’s my Mark of Eviction, my Peel from Reality?

Ah well, no point dwelling on what cards we don’t have. That could take all night.

Our two Blue creatures, Terraformer and Surveilling Sprite, are hardly movers and shakers on the mean streets of Ravnica. We’d play them, of course, but only if we’d other options in the color. Stasis Cell is an Aura too far for me, and as for Muddle the Mixture and Dizzy Spell? Filler, pure and simple.

I know I hate Blue. You know I hate Blue. But there’s nothing here to make my knees tremble and my pods jiggle. Even with the Dimir goodness, only out Guildpact Blue can rescue this color from its self-inflicted quagmire.

The Guildpact Blue

• Admittedly, things start brightly enough. Four mana is the benchmark for 2/2 flyers, therefore our double Torch Drake action is a welcome addition even without the Firebreathing effect. Looking forward to our Red contingent, perhaps that’s just as well. However, while drafting Drakes might be a strong play, we can hardly expect to win the game on the back of these vulnerable yet evasive threats. Coupled with Moroii, then maybe… but in a vacuum, then never. NB: Don’t try playing Magic in a vacuum. You’ll have a devil of a time getting the dust out of your cardigan.
• Here’s a question for you… how good is Vedalken Plotter? Now that the world and his dog has climbed aboard the Bounceland Bandwagon, is this little guy a sleeper hit? He creates a tempo swing, he screws opponents out of a certain color, and he can randomly steal a Vitu-Ghazi, the City-Tree or similar. Stealing a Watery Grave would be nice, especially if you could keep the stolen land afterwards.
• Crystal Seer is another semi-playable man, as he’s able to smooth your draws and return from chump duty without a scratch. He’s a little expensive, but that shouldn’t matter too much in the slow molasses of Ravnica/Guildpact Sealed. Apparently, he gains most of his knowledge through gazing into crystals… Is that the Ravnican equivalent of Surfing the Internet? If so, I hope he gets his dodgy Boros pr0n in a decent resolution.
• One mana, Drowned Rusalka. A cheap card quality engine that will likely avoid removal… but his ability is a little steep. Traditionally, Blue tends to avoid losing creatures in combat, so this little lady will likely be nothing more than a sub-standard cantrip capable of blocking a token. If the Drowned Rusalka had a kid with the Scorched Rusalka, would their offspring be a Lukewarm Water Rusalka? Enquiring minds demand answers!

Izzet U/R

• Do Dragonauts come in varying sizes? The Wee Dragonauts are obviously small… are the Massive Dragonauts? Medium-Sized Dragonauts? In fact, are small versions of Wee Dragonauts called Wee-Wee Dragonauts? Probably not, as that conjures up an entirely different image. An image that is predominantly yellow. Would I play this? Sure. In this pool? Not a hope.
• Nivix, Aerie of the Firemind. Jesus Toasties, that’s a bad card. I’ve heard that this card is the reason that babies cry at night.

Overall, the Blue cards bring a few flyers to the mix, and dabble in card draw spells. Unfortunately, there’s nowt to make me smear myself in marmalade and run screaming through Leeds with my bits a-floppin’.

Moving onto Red.

Red

You know who I miss? Dan Paskins. I wish he’d write more. Dan, if you’re reading this…. Pull yer finger out!

Where was I? Oh yeah… the Ravnican Red

The Ravnican Red
We’ll start with everyone’s favorite red staple, the Galvanic Arc. At least, we would start with it, if we actually had one. No, this pulsating turd of a pool coughs out Cleansing Beam as its only source of Red removal. Now, I like the beam, but it’s no use by itself. I may splash for it, I suppose, especially if facing a weenie horde a la Selesnya or Boros. Flash Conscription is a Grab The Reins/Blinding Anger variant, and sadly much worse that either. Sure, it can screw with combat and gain a two-for-one trade when an opponent decides to block his attack with his own guy, but it is useless in many situations. I’m probably wrong on this, but I’d rather have Boros Fury-Shield in any Red/White deck.

Just as the Red spells are a pauper’s anus, the Red guys are similarly dank, unkempt and smelly. Sell-Sword Brute is serviceable, and Ordruun Commando passable, but Viashino Slasher and Barbarian Riftcutter. Not in a month of Sundays. As for Goblin Fire Fiend… remember, folks: “the defending player blocks Goblin Fire Fiend if able.” Not the defending player’s creatures…. The defending player. If I play a game where someone attacks me with Goblin Fire Fiend, I’m going to climb on the table and lie down in front of the card. I may get a warning, but it’d be worth it.

The Guildpact Red.

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Not again!

Unbelievable. Two cardpools, four Guildpact boosters… and not one mono-Red card to be seen. How bizarre.

People say Wizards are hosing Blue in Constructed Magic. Well, they’ve been hosing Red in Limited for bloody years.

Gruul R/G

• To be honest, I don’t know why I’m bothering with a bullet-point here. There’s only one Gruul card in the pool, if you discount the Gruul Turf. Wild Cantor, the moss-haired mana-druid. We have two of her. Whoopie-friggin’-doo. She can help accelerate into our late-game bombs, I suppose. If we had any. Christ, I’m being so Emo today. A quick comment on the art — Ravnica is a planet entirely covered by buildings. It is a city world. In that case, where the hell is the Wild Cantor standing? In her window-box?

I thought Blue was bad. I thought White was worse. But Red? It’ll see as much play as Kai Budde DCI card.

Green, don’t fail me now.

Green

The Ravnica Green
*scans the cards*
Well, there’s Bramble Elemental. He’s okay. Oh, we’ve got no offensive Auras.
*re-scans the cards*
Greater Mossdog is alright. He dredges.
*keeps scanning*
Carven Caryatid… it doesn’t attack. Elvish Skysweeper… useful. Oh, we’ve no token generators.
*keeps scanning. Getting desperate*
Green is the color of manafixing… nope, none of that.
*throws cards across the room*
Anyone fancy a game of chess?

The Guildpact Green

• After the disappointments of the Ravnica Green, I’d hoped that the Guildpact offering, I’d hoped that Guildpact would bring some milkshake to the yard. No such lick. Wildsize is nice, of course — a card that pumps, grants semi-evasion, and replaces itself is exquisite. As for the rest…
• Gruul Scrapper: as we’re not playing Red, this guy is nothing more than a non-Dredging Greater Mossdog that dies to Douse in Gloom. Gruul Scrappers are stupid: throw rocks at them.
• Gruul Nodorog: Some much needed beef, I suppose… but again, no Red (and no mana-fixing to fetch a single Mountain) means he’s a poor man’s Bramble Elemental. This pool is the definition of a poor man’s offering, so we may throw him into the final mix.
• Beastmaster’s Magemark: Combos well with the bin, I’ve heard.
• Earth Surge: What in the Blue Funk is this? A Limited waste of cardboard. “Each land gets +2/+2 as long as it’s a creature…” How incredibly useless. What next? “Your opponent’s graveyard can’t attack?” “Libraries gain fear until end of turn?”

Mediocre creatures. Mediocre spells. In this pool, it may be that mediocre is the best we’ll do.

Other Cards

Leashling.

No.

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How was it for you? Did you feel the crushing weight of a thousand gloomy days pressing hard against your chest? Could you hear the screams of desolate waifs wandering the streets, cold and hungry, in search of food and shelter?

No?

Perhaps that’s just me.

For the record, here’s what I did with the above calamity.

I took the Black cards as a base. Seriously, what other choice was there? The Red was an auto-drop, being full to the brim of unplayable nonsense. Two color was idiotic, and four-color nigh-on impossible without non-Signet manafixing. The only choices I had were B/W/U, B/W/G or B/U/G.

By avoiding White in B/U/G, it took out a number of much-needed early men. The Armorer and the Patrol, while not game-winners, are fine. The Gatekeeper is also nice, and the Belfry Spirit gives us much needed synergy with the Skeletal Vampire. The guys just weren’t there in B/U/G. It also removed the Pillory of the Sleepless.

It came down to a choice between B/W/G and B/W/U. Believe me, it was a tough one. In the end, I separated the cards into their piles, and measured the relative strength of Blue versus Green.

Blue brought us:

Surveilling Sprite
Crystal Seer
2 Torch Drake
Moroii
Consult the Necrosages
Dimir Infiltrator
Vedalken Plotter (?)

Green brought us:

Bramble Elemental
Guardian of Vitu-Ghazi
Greater Mossdog
Carven Caryatid
Elvish Skysweeper
Drooling Groodion

I had to go for Green.

I may be wrong in my final choices. As usual, I’m keen to hear your thoughts. Come to the forums and share.

Good luck this weekend, guys. The PTQ season continues. Hopefully, no-one who reads this will get such a god-awful pool as we’ve trawled through today.

Maybe, by getting this pool out of the way now, I’m ripe for pulling Glare of Subdual/Tolsimir Wolfblood/Loxodon Hierarch. It’d make a change, believe me.

As usual, I live in hope.

See you next week.

Craig Stevenson
Managing Editor, StarCityGames.com
Mail us at https://sales.starcitygames.com/contactus/contactform.php?emailid=2