It is in the mind of almost every single rogue (“bad”) deck designer to one day discover an archetype, to be the man with their name in lights, and the one who gets to bequeath a stupid name upon a deck and hear people recite it whenever they chat about matchups. It’s a pipe-dream, of course, since enthusiasm and a lust for glory only make up a small fraction of good deck design, with hard work, skill, and an ability to play the game as well as build for it make up the majority of the rest. And unfortunately, a lot of tournament people play Rogue, not because they can play netdecks and choose not to (pride is a killer), but because they’re unable to get together the cards.
This hobby’s expensive. Simple fact.
Anyway, I have no illusions. I had my brief bout of moronics by thinking Witchetty GWUB could be an archetype – and I insist on referring to it by my GENIUS NAME – but I’m not fooling myself into thinking I’ve got anything on the real deckbuilders. But I do love the game, and I do love building decks.
What puts myself and this poor rogue designer in the same belt is trying to make the best with what we’ve got. What sets us apart is that I don’t think I’m doing anything special, and I certainly don’t think I can break any formats. I do like sweeping through the junky rare bins, finding the cards that are neither flashy enough to earn higher prices (Glimpse the Unthinkable and Ghostway, two functionally unplayable cards, are selling for two tickets each), nor actually showing up in currently good decks, and to see what I can “get away with.”
Coldsnap brought a surprisingly large number of these rares. Rivien Swanson has politely taken care of Phyrexian Etchings, meaning I’m free to examine the crap rares of Coldsnap, and see what I can manage with them.
Now.
The last time I did this, it was a fantastic excuse for an article, because in addition to being huge, it was also not very helpful. It didn’t do much to discuss why I did what I did, and more specifically, what was bad about each deck. So this time, I’m going to try and be more critical – show you why I don’t think these decks have any mustard beyond the casual tables.
Sek’Kuar
3 Chord of Calling
4 Elves of Deep Shadow
1 Golgari Grave-Troll
1 Golgari Guildmage
1 Golgari Thug
4 Nekrataal
1 Nezumi Graverobber
3 Phyrexian Arena
4 Sakura-Tribe Elder
4 Shambling Shell
8 Snow-Covered Forest
1 Snow-Covered Mountain
6 Snow-Covered Swamp
3 Gutless Ghoul
2 Highland Weald
1 Indrik Stomphowler
4 Into the North
2 Mouth of Ronom
3 Sek’Kuar, Deathkeeper
4 Tresserhorn Sinks
First, the deck has extra card drawing options in it. That’s good. Second, you do have an instant-speed trick or two, which is important in what is basically a dork deck. Third, Sek’Kuar himself, if he gets rolling, is nothing short of insane. He’s a four-power man who, assisted by a Shambling Shell, gets into the red zone for rapidly increasing amounts of damage, giving Shambling Shell “haste” of sorts.
With Sek’Kuar, I have had games – games, not matches – which degenerate into an ever-increasing wave of 3/1 hasters slamming into my opponent’s beleaguered attempts to make blockers. Long, slow, grinding games can often wind up with a ten-plus power Grave Troll making his presence felt, aided by Shambling Shells.
The deck has a lot of power – it has a mana engine that lets it routinely play multiple spells a turn, it can gain plenty of life to protect itself, and you could even slot in Golgari Germination to increase the potency of the Ghouls. When you win, you win – you have a horde of Graveborn tokens smashing over defenses, nine-plus damage “sneaking through” every turn as your Shambling Shells slowly swell Sek’Kuar to brobdignagian scale.
But there the good news ends.
The deck has a lot of power; it’s the same kind of power, however, that results in a fungus smashing its way through a pavement. It’s slow, inexorable, grinding… and amazingly fragile. A bit of land destruction ruins you (is that the manabase’s fault?), any decent creature removal strategy hurts too, and, well, unless your opponent lets you sneak an Arena into play, you probably can’t fight control overmuch.
One of the disappointments is Sek’Kuar himself. He dies to a lot of stuff, which isn’t such a big problem – between thugs and necromancer rats, you can often recover one, or use Chords to go get another one – but tapping out to make him is five mana, and then he sits on the board for a turn, scared to jump in front of even the most timid of bears. Once he does get rolling, he might as well be an enchantment unless you’re facing a trickless, removal-less deck that has no blockers. Such a situation is rare, and you do not need his help to win in those situations.
Your creatures all suck – you have no good way to get up in the grill of a flier, and you have one piece of enchantment or artifact hate in the whole deck. Alas, the absence of a playable spider is a damning condemnation on this deck (Silklash, while the pimp daddy of the anti-flier suite, and broad enough to block even Akroma herself, is no help against the Blue/White sky-studded assaults of the casual room who will often win with Anthems before he’s even shown his spindly face, let alone the mana to cast him). But what to cut for these slots?
The deck’s already hurting for space – land is necessary for your big plays. Life From The Loam could be good, but until we get Terramorphic Expanse, I won’t be happy with running Life in a deck like this.
Sometimes with this deck, you will get a nice draw that smoothly ramps you up to enough mana for Sek’Kuar plus Arena plus Shambling Shell. However, those games are not nearly as common as virtually mulliganing due to drawing two Sek’Kuar in the opening grip, or a Golgari Grave Troll showing up when none of your men are dead.
Dredge was a well-designed mechanic for Limited, in that your dredge cards were, classically, better than your worst card and worse than your best card. In Constructed, the only card in your deck that your dredge cards beats is another effing land. And sometimes you’ll be stuck in dredge loops, knowing you can’t afford to stop dredging a Shambling Shell to block your opponent’s Gee Wow What The Hell Is That or you’re going to lose – if only you could draw a land instead, so two turns from now… it’s quite disheartening to watch yourself die to the death of a thousand cuts.
So what do we lose? We lose Sakura-Tribe Elder. We lose Nezumi Graverobber. And for what we lose, we do not gain what we need. No cheap sacrifice outlet (Fallen Ideal does not count). We get Endrek Sahr, who is a fantastic guy for this deck… if not for the fact he is also a five-mana dude who needs a sacrifice outlet to get rolling. I think it’s time to bite the bullet and just put Nantuko Husk in the deck.
I also find myself wanting for a flier. A flier with sacrifice abilities that costs two or three mana. More sacrificial two-drops, ideally ones that don’t cost mana. Something better than the Golgari Guildmage, too. Whenever the Guildmage gets rolling you glare at him and wonder “Why couldn’t you have done this the ten other games I drew you?” Like it or not, Fallen Ideal is looking better and better.
Some flashback cards would probably be sweetness as well. And, Terramorphic Expanse so you can pop in Life from the Loam in exchange for the Elders. With that in mind:
Sek’Kuar
3 Chord of Calling
3 Scorched Rusalka
4 Elves of Deep Shadow
4 Llanowar Elves
4 Nightshade Assassin
4 Shambling Shell
2 Indrik Stomphowler
3 Sek’Kuar, Deathkeeper
4 Nantuko Husk
4 Into the North
8 Snow-Covered Forest
1 Snow-Covered Mountain
6 Snow-Covered Swamp
2 Highland Weald
2 Mouth of Ronom
4 Tresserhorn Sinks
Overall, it feels like the loss of the Elder – and the increased reliance on three-drops – is a problem. I’m this close to actually testing Fallen Ideal, but there’s nobody good to wear it – which says volumes for how bad the deck is in general.
This deck ultimately is a bit of poo – but I’m patient. Sek’Kuar has a long time before he rotates, and I’ll be back to see if he gets any better with time. Maybe I’m just using the wrong pieces here.
I will say this much – Nightshade Assassin, even sans madness, has to be better than Nekrataal. Damn thing never hits any of the threats in the format you want it to hit. Best it can do is force Solifuges to stay home – unless there’s burn on the horizons.
I.e., it never helps against Solifuges. God, I hate Nekrataal.
Hugs and Kisses
Talen Lee
Talen at dodo dot com dot au