I want to apologize for the lateness of my report; I suspect it was Rizzo’s Bruce that made me dawdle.
I could go on for six or seven pages about why I brought the deck that I did – but this is a prerelease, so instead I’ll just give you the deck that I built.
Firebolt
2x Flame Burst
Pardic Firecat
Ember Beast
Frenetic Ogre
Anarchist
Molten Influence
2x Nantuko Disciple
Wild Mongrel
Muscle Burst
Springing Tiger
Lithatog
Junk Golem
Cephalid Scout
Scrivener
Cephalid Broker
Aven Fisher
Syncopate
Laquatus’s Creativity
Rites of Refusal
Dematerialize
6x Mountain
5x Forest
5x Island
Timberland Ruins
Cephalid Coliseum
I wasn’t very happy with the deck, but I was just playing for fun, so…
Round One – David Williams
He seemed like a nice enough guy. Everyone there appeared to know who he was, so I expect that he has played Magic at least a little bit before the prerelease. We each shuffle the decks, shuffle each other’s decks, and get started. The first game was crazy. David obviously drew just the card he needed exactly when he needed it. The match was over so quickly, there really isn’t much to say.
We shuffle up for game two, and someone just a couple of tables down starts screaming”Get bent!” David starts to freak out, screaming that his cards aren’t bent. Judges dressed in military fatigues come barreling in and scoop up David’s deck and perform a deck check. After ten minutes, the judges emerge from behind the impenetrable wall of cloth to announce that I had won the round and David had been disqualified. The judges, under DCI gag order, would not tell me why David had been DQ’ed.
1-0 (sort of)
Round Two – Casey McCarrel
When I was introduced to Casey, I felt bad. I mean, here is this young man who barely looks eight years old! I felt confident that I would be able to handle this match.
We start to shuffle, and I watch him shuffle my deck. I had tears in my eyes, as it was quite clear the young man had some kind of physical disability, and was unable to shuffle my deck in any natural way. I waited patiently as he slowly shuffled my deck. I suggested that if he liked, we could get a judge to shuffle my deck. He became quite indignant, and I apologized for my insensitivity to his plight. A judge happened to be walking past our table and I made eye contact with him, pointing him towards Casey’s awkward shuffling, hoping he would understand and offer to help. Instead, the judge gets this insane look in his eyes and screams,”McCarrel, if I ever catch you in here again, you’ll be banned for life! Get out!” I could not believe the insensitivity the judge was showing, but I sat silently through the verbal assault.
2-0
Round Three – Theron Martin
Our match began quietly and calmly. After matching up creatures, my Anarchist took over and brought me to victory in the first game. Here I was at 2-0, and I had just managed my first victory!
Game two was a much tighter affair. I must have seen half of my library gradually fade away, but the game was still ridiculously close. I finally managed to steal a victory with the Flame Bolt.
Theron was clearly upset, but was a sportsman about the whole thing.
3-0
Round Four – Mike Long
This was the last round of the tournament, and I knew I was playing for a box of Odyssey. I was nervous, but confident.
Mike was eager to get started. We shuffled up and were on our way. Mike was playing a B/G deck that was heavy with creatures. I was managing to hang in there and the game was really tight. Mike’s superior creatures eventually overwhelmed my defences and I suffered defeat in game one.
Game two appeared to be all mine. I had a situation where he was short a blocker each round. I was working him down and thought I had the victory – and that’s when it happened. Mike lowered his cards to his lap, and there was a grimace on his face. He almost seemed embarrassed, when I realized what had happened: Mike wanted to win so badly, he had soiled himself. I felt so badly for the guy, who clearly had a better deck than I did, and would probably win game three.
Imagine my shock when he plays a card I didn’t see in the spoilers: Juzam Djinn! This thing is an absolute powerhouse. It is so cheap. He blocked my attacks and starting pounding me with this Djinn… Which just proves that you can’t always trust the spoiler lists. He squeaked out the victory, leaving me with second-place spoils.
When he stood up to shake my hand after the match, at least twenty Magic cards spilled out in every direction. I told him that he should put his decks in boxes so this wouldn’t happen, but he was too busy scrambling around on the floor scooping up his cards. A judge spotted this, and after another twenty minutes behind”the curtain” I was once again handed the victory. The Odyssey cards were mine!
Twenty minutes later, the rankings were put up. Although I thought I had managed a 4-0 run, apparently I was only 2-2, and Theron Martin managed to win the event! My congratulations to Theron on a hard-fought tournament victory.
Bruce Richard, the only person writing tournament reports who has never participated in a tournament.
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