Many, many, many moons ago (come to think of it, I don’t think the Moon had been captured by the Earth’s gravitational pull yet), when I first started playing Magic, I had a favorite deck that I played, competitively, for about a year — this was back around the release of Legends and Fallen Empires, if I remember correctly. Standard? What is this “Standard” you speak of? Heck, there wasn’t even a Type II yet! In those wild and woolly days, there was only one format and the earliest of the Restricted/Banned lists, chock full of dangerous cards like Orcish Oriflamme and Dingus Egg.
Yes, those were…interesting times. But I digress.
Now, some things never change. Even back then, Moxen, Lotuses, and their ilk from the pre-Revised days were damn hard to get a hold of, and I, like most Magic players, was on a budget, but found I could build a pretty good deck for just a few dollars and a few duals, and it all started with…a monkey!
Not just any monkey, mind you, but the gruesome twosome of Taiga and Kird Ape. A first turn 2/3 for one mana? All you needed were some massively reprinted Kird Apes from Revised and some easily acquired Taigas and you had the original R/G speed/burn deck. Now, my original version was based upon Kird Ape, other cheap one-mana beaters and the feared Giant Growth/Blood Lust/Berserk/Fork combo.
Don’t laugh, it actually was pretty scary back then. We were all also pretty dumb back then, too.
Since then, the R/G speed deck has evolved and gone through many iterations; Ernham and Burn ‘Em, Rocket Shoes, Fast Beats, Fires; some more control oriented, some more geared towards ending the game as quickly as humanly possible, depending upon the metagame.
When I discovered that a) Kird Ape was reprinted in 9th Edition and b) there was going to be a R/G dual land printed in Guildpact, I almost started drooling.
Once I got a look at the Gruul Clans, though, then I did start drooling. No, not literally, that would be disgusting. I may be old, but not that old.
Show me the monkey!
Creatures (27)
- 4 Llanowar Elves
- 4 Kird Ape
- 3 Elves of Deep Shadow
- 4 Dryad Sophisticate
- 4 Gruul Guildmage
- 4 Rumbling Slum
- 4 Scab-Clan Mauler
Lands (21)
Spells (12)
- 4 Umezawa's Jitte
- 4 Shock
- 4 Char
So, there you have it. A classic speed deck in all its vintage glory. Questions, anyone?
Uh, yeah…’Monkey Shines’?
Remember: it’s all about the catchy name. I mean, really, what sounds better: “R/G Beats” or “Monkey Shines”?
Kird Ape and Llanowar Elves I get, but why Elves of Deep Shadow? Why not Birds of Paradise or Sakura-Tribe Elder?
True, there aren’t a lot of uses for the Black mana the Elves of Deep Shadow produce, but they beat out the Birds and Elders for two big reasons: one, they go into the Red Zone and can be a bloodthirst enabler for a turn 2 Scab-Clan Mauler, and, secondly, they’re one mana cheaper than the Elder, who is much better at chump-blocking than attacking.
With seven mana producers in the deck, that also means you can get away with a Comer-esque mana base running a scant twenty-one lands.
How about Frenzied Goblin?
That actually not a bad idea, but the only one-drops I want at present must either a) produce mana or b) be a really big monkey.
There’s tons of Gruul Clan cards in here, where’s the Burning-Tree Shaman?
My original build did have Mr. Earth First in it, but there’s a few problems with him in this particular build of R/G. As you may have noticed, there’s a number of cards in the deck that have activation costs. My first thought was that, essentially, this is like an old-school Sligh deck; it doesn’t care about taking damage, it’s going to deal twenty before taking twenty.
But, let me tell you, those Jitte activations start to add up, not to mention Gruul Guildmage and Skarrg, the Rage Pits.
Speaking of which, while the Jitte gets all the attention, Gruul Guildmage and the Rage Pits are pretty damn impressive too. The Guildmage is primarily a beefier, more versatile version of Grim Lavamancer, and Rage Pits…I’m probably stretching the mana base too far by fitting in three copies of this (two is probably correct) but I’d go up to four if I could. Man alive, is this card good. Not only is it cheap, it’s provides not only a power boost but the magic word — trample. Why is that important? Four words: Order of the Stars.
I could actually come up with more than four words, but you get the drift: While this deck does have some staying power, it is, in essence, a very Red deck that wants to end the game as early as possible. Turning chump blockers into speed bumps is important to that goal.
So, sadly, the Angry Elk got sent back to the binder. If you were to lose the Jitte, say, for a Moldervine Cloak, then you would definitely want the Shaman back in here. It may end up being the correct call in the long run (and definitely in Block), but just not here.
Next question?
Even so, why run the Jitte when the deck is glutted with two drops?
For one thing, the Jitte should not be considered a two-drop in this deck. If you consider it a four-drop (in the same way that Moldervine Cloak is a three-drop), then it fits very nicely into the mana curve.
And, for another thing…dude, it’s the freakin’ Jitte.
No other bloodthirst cards?
Afraid not. After the Scab-Clan Mauler — just an awesome, awesome card there — there aren’t any other bloodthirst cards that make the grade in a speed deck. Mind you, I love Skarrgan Firebird, but this deck wants to win the game before it even gets to six mana.
Not a lot of three drops of a “Sligh” deck…
That’s not a question, but the point is taken. I like Char since there’s a lot of things with a four in the toughness column I’d like to get rid of quickly, but after that, yes, the three drop slot is fairly barren. Viridian Shaman would be a reasonable suggestion if you expect to see a lot of Icy Manipulators and other Jittes in your area.
What does the phrase “brown and bubbly” mean to you?
I think you should refer to your gastroenterologist on that one.
Is Dryad Sophisticate all that and a bag of chips?
Let me tell you a story: I seem to recall, some time last year, some crazy Internet writer making the suggestion that, given the plethora of Green-based decks running rampant in Standard, that the forestwalking Rushwood Dryad would be a pretty techy inclusion into an Mono Green Aggro deck.
Everyone laughed at the crazy Internet writer — until Regionals, when not only were there Rushwood Dryads in just about every MGA main deck but those decks were one-upped by Joshie Green running a full eight forestwalkers.
It’s just too bad every deck currently runs only basic lands.
So, to answer your question, it is indeed up there with a bag of chips, but not a big one — think of a lunch size bag of Ruffles Sour Cream ‘n Onion; them’s tasty.
Now, mind you, if Green-centric decks start getting scary-good, the addition of Zodiac Monkey would not only give you the Joshie Green overwhelm strategy again, but make the deck even more monkey-centric. Hooray monkeys!
How good is Rumbling Slum?
I’d say close to scary good. Lately, we’ve getting a steady stream of 5/5 Green creatures for four mana with some sort of drawback. Rumbling Slum has the drawback of requiring Red mana.
Yeah, that certainly makes it unplayable.
Do you know anything about the WMD’s in Iraq?
What do I look like, Ari Fleischer? Try the press conference down the hall.
What about going Zoo?
I considered going the “Zoo” route, adding white mana for Lightning Helix and Watchwolf. While Watchwolf is a top-notch two drop and Helix is superior to Shock, the trouble there is a) you’re spreading the mana base thinner, b) what do you take out for them?
I’ll stick with straight R/G, thank you very much.
Do you have a sideboard yet?
Yes and no. The sideboard is going to depend on what direction the metagame shifts, but given the control-centric state of the current standard, rather lacking in the aggro portion, a land destruction suite might just be the way to go. Ergo, my very preliminary sideboard — please, keep your rotting vegetables to yourself — looks like this:
4 Naturalize
4 Stone Rain
4 Zo-Zu the Punisher
3 Viridian Shaman
Zo-Zu is almost good enough to slip into the maindeck, and he might find his way there sooner than later, double Red be damned. Other possibilities would include Burning-Tree Shaman; Arashi, the Sky Asunder; or Wreak Havoc if you really needed an uncounterable Pillage. Probably not, but stranger things have happened.
In addition to the current crop of contenders (Gifts, Ghazi-Glare, Eminent Domain), I think it’s safe to say that there are going to be some pretty good Izzet-Tron and B/W decks popping up soon — an Orzhov based beatdown deck with Dark Confidant and Ghost Council of Orzhova in the maindeck — a deck with great potential, in my somewhat humble opinion, but that’s another article – could be a somewhere between a problematic to a nightmarish matchup.
That said, R/G should easily supplant W/R as the beatdown deck of choice in the new environment, something that’s badly missing at present, and it’s going to be outstanding in both Standard and Block. True, there’s no Berserk or Fork like the good old days, but you know what?
I’m not complaining.